June 2013 – Chairman's Blog

June 25, 2013August 27, 2015

Manka Bros. Changes Management Structure

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company, Rupert Murdoch, Jose Maria Aznar, natalie Bancroft, Peter Barnes, Chase Carey, Kenneth Cowley, David DeVoe, Viet Dinh, Rod Eddington, Joel Klein, Andrew S.B. Knight, James Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Thomas Perkins, Arthur Siskind, John Thornton, Stanley Shuman, Rebekah Brooks, Les Hinton, Teri Everett, jack Horner, Julie Henderson, Reed Nolte, Roger Ailes, Janet Nova, John Nallen, Beryl Cook, Michael Regan, Genie Gavenchak, Brian Lewis, Irena Briganti, Dan Berger, Rosabel Tao, Steven Rubenstein, Suzanne Halpin, Elisabeth Murdoch, Wendi Deng Murdoch

Good afternoon.

Following a disastrous staff meeting with a roomful of idiots posing as my senior management team, I have decided to make a few changes to the organizational structure of Manka Bros.

Previously, all of the division heads – Robin Rafe (Theatrical), Jay McBee (Television), Emily Sachs (Music), Cyrus Weinstein (Publishing), Ethan Rubidioux (Consumer Products, Broadway, Sports, Fun Parks, Kids and Digital) as well as COO Lloyd Grohl and CFO David Chang – reported directly to me.

That’s all changing.

As of today, I will have NO DIRECT REPORTS. I seriously don’t want to talk to any of you if I don’t have to.

Going forward, I am going to write down certain tasks (on color coordinated index cards) that you must complete (i.e., which films, TV shows, books, music, etc. should be greenlit and what should be passed on – as well as all the other day-to-day business that may come up).

My assistant, Vicky Adler-Modry, will pin the cards to a bulletin board in the foyer outside of my office suite.

You may check the board throughout the day and if there is a task for you on it – you must complete it.

Write back the results or any issues that may come up on the card and I may or may not read it.

The matching of color and executive has yet to be determined – I am planning to meditate on that this afternoon. I’ll have the final colors posted within 30 days.

You may not get the color you are hoping – be open-minded.

I think this new structure will save me a lot of time and aggravation as I don’t wish to see any of you people that much anymore.

But that’s not all…

I have also decided to adjust the organizational structure of my household as follows:

My daughter (and Manka Bros. Board Member), Connie, will continue to report directly to me but only on nights and weekends.

During the day she will have a dual report to our housekeeper Lily and house manager Jerome.

My housekeeper Lily will continue to report to Jerome who will continue to report to me (but may not directly address me unless I address him first).

My driver Fernando will now report to Lily (and no longer to me).

My dog, Caesar, will have a dual report to Connie and Lily.

My ex-wives will continue to report to my lawyer.

That’s it for now.

I believe this new structure will help me to avoid contact with my senior management team and thus I will avoid having to hear all of the mind-numbingly dumb ideas that come out of their mouths.

Thanks.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

June 13, 2013June 13, 2013

Rupert Murdoch’s Divorce

A fellow mogul is in pain today.

Last night, I received a private TWEET from Rupert Murdoch – that after months of agonizing separation, he was filing for divorce from his wife Wendi Deng.

Even though I couldn’t hear his voice, I could tell he was crying.

I’ve known Rupert for many many years. More years that his third wife has been alive.

Yet, I always knew, even before she was born, that Wendi Deng Murdoch was the person for him.

It’s none of our business why someone else’s marriage ends.

I do know that if the marriage of Rupert Murdoch and Wendi Deng Murdoch can’t survive – there isn’t much hope for anyone else.

They were ideal for each other.

Equals in intellect.

She was beautiful.

He was rich.

In my world, this is the perfect match.

And while we all cry a bit today for Rupert, we can bravely dry those tears tomorrow because Rupert will land on his feet.

He didn’t tell me why the marriage fell apart. There must have been something in those years of wire tapping her phone that became the final straw.

Chin up, Rupe, I’ll be here whenever you need a friend.

I’ll see you at Sun Valley. I’ll save you ONE STOOL at the bar.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

(dictated – not read)

Other Blogs about Rupert Murdoch:

In Defense Of Rupert Murdoch

Rupert Murdoch’s Special Charity

Book Club Meeting On Rupert Murdoch’s Boat

Rupert Murdoch and Sumner Redstone

Blogs About Wendi Deng Murdoch:

The Woman Who Saved News Corp. (OnMedea)

June 3, 2013

Manka Bros Would Like To Offer Nikki Finke A Job

Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Bezos, Tim Cook, Cory Booker, Michael Bloomberg, Joel Klein, Lachlan Murdoch, James Murdoch, Bobby Kotick, Marc Andreessen, Peter Thiel, Dick Costolo, Ross Levinsoh, Paul Sagan, Leslie Moonves, Tim Armstrong, Glenn Britt, Donald Graham, Kazuo Hirai, Howard Stringer, Jae-Yong Lee, Bryan Lourd, Ron Meyer, Brad Grey, Edmund Lee, Anthony Palazzo, John Malone, Chris Silbermann, Jim Berkus, Roger Goodell, David Stern, Chris Christie, Julius Genachowski, Erin Burnett, Charlie Rose, Becky Quick, Todd Davidson, Reed Hastings, Terry Semel, Jerry Yang, Ken Allen, Laurene Powell Jobs, Jean-Bernard Levy, Lucian Grainge, Jonathan Boyar, Mark Pincus, Michael Lynton, Mandy Tavakol, Mario Monti, Dave DeVoe, John Martin, Brian Roberts, David Zaslav, Mel Karmazin, Carol Bartz, Scott Thompson, Jason Kilar, King Abdullah II, Queen Rania, Queen Noor, #sv12, #Sunvalley2012, #allenco, Robert Johnson, Anne Sweeney, Brian Grazer, Michael Ovitz, Hiroshi Mikitani, Owen Van Natta, Don Mattrick, Nikki Finke, Sharon Waxman, Jay Penske, Deadline Hollywood

Good morning from my house in the Seychelles.

A few of us are having a great night drinking schnapps and eating crab. I won’t name names for security reasons but their initials are DM, RM, BD, JB, CC – you figure it out.

I just received my daily fax of important Hollywood internet stories from my assistant, Vicky Adler-Modry, and noticed that apparently Nikki Finke was fired from Deadline Hollywood.

I didn’t even realize that was possible – basically the equivalent of me getting fired from Manka Bros. We all know this is an impossible thing. It would take gunfire and a hostage situation to remove me from my post and that wouldn’t be legal – so I guess nothing could get me out.

[Goddamnit, Barry Diller just fucking spilled watermelon schnapps on my white carpet! But I digress…]

Let me get right to the point and I’ll speak directly to Nikki as I write:

Manka Bros. would like to offer you, Nikki Finke, a job – doing pretty much whatever you would like. If you’ve seen our numbers lately, we need help in most areas of the business.

If you would like to start a cut-throat-destroy-someone’s-life-type blog like you are currently running – that would be fine.

If you would like to work as a partner with our own in-house cut-throat-destroy-someone’s-life-type-blog – OnMedea – that would be fine as well. She would love the help.

If you would like to run our Theatrical Group – that would be fine, too. Robin Rafe has really been sucking lately and needs to be replaced at some point (off the record).

Or just pick something off our Jobs board – we’ve got a few great openings right now.

So, think about it, Nikki – Manka Bros. is one place you will never be fired from (unless you write about me or my family). Call my assistant at the studio, Vicky Adler-Modry (or just Friend her on Facebook).

I have to get back to karaoake – Rupert’s about to sing “MacArthur Park” – (never to be missed).

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company