Harvey Weinstein – Page 7 – Chairman's Blog

January 20, 2011April 21, 2011

Manka Bros. Will Not Attend 2011 Sundance Film Festival

Amy Mcgee, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob Weinstein, Brooks Addicott, Casey De la Rosa, Derek Cianfrance, Elizabeth Leidt, FilmBuff, Harvey Weinstein, James Schamus, Jeff Schamus, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, John Cooper, John Sloss, John Wells, Julieta Esteban, Khan Manka, Krissy Bailey, Kristina Parker, Lauren Larson, Lisa Cholodenko, Maggie Sowell, Manka Bros., Mark Gill, Melissa Ventura, Peter Rice, Ricki Stern, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Epstein, Robert Redford, Rosie Wong, Shari Springer Berman, Spencer Susser, Tatiana Tensen, Terry Semel, The Weinstein Company

To all the acquisition and distribution executives at Manka Highbrow, Manka Dogma, Manka Docs and the new Manka Mumblecore – due to the absolutely shitty year you all had in 2010, you will not be attending the Sundance Film Festival this year.

If you desperately feel the need to attend in order to bid on a movie starring Patricia Clarkson and Sam Rockwell about people who have no idea how to cope in a world filled with so much suffering, then I suggest you quit your job and start a new company that specializes in distributing videos shot on camcorders.

When times are good, Manka Bros. has no trouble throwing away money at meaningless film festivals. (Am I the only one that feels that the films are only shown to kill time in between parties?) And, yes, sometimes we even get lucky – for instance, when we picked up the rights to Snuffing Out The Magic Fury (which will finally open next month after extensive recuts and reshoots and recasts).

But, too bad, junior executives, there will be no more $600 a night rooms with $1,000 a night “entertainment” bar tabs while you try to sleep with 22-year-old “directors” who would do anything to get their $300 film about an autistic coal miner distributed by a major Hollywood studio.

I realize you’ve probably already purchased your $400 ski caps that you were planning on wearing throughout the festival because independent film makers are way too cool to shower (and, of course, you have to be just like them). I guess you’ll have to return the clothes at lunch today.

We have a new theatrical policy here at Manka Bros. – WE WILL NOT PRODUCE OR DISTRIBUTE ANY FILM THAT DOES NOT MAKE MONEY!

So for the young writers and directors of the world who make films about:

The various plights of high school geeks growing up in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s;
Immigrants trying to survive in modern day Mobile, Alabama;
Poets trying to break free from their oppressive capitalist “day jobs”
Cancer movies of every size and shape;
(and, my favorite) Movies about filmmakers trying to get their films made in Hollywood where everyone who works at a studio is some kind of idiot…

I’m sorry, you’ll have to find some other sucker to distribute your story that MUST BE TOLD.

I hear The Weinstein Company actually has some money to spend this year (thanks to The King’s Speech and the surprising disappearance of all that debt racked up in the past decade). Go ahead and take your precious little film to Harvey Weinstein. He’s not hard to find at a film festival – he’ll be the one smoking.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

August 10, 2010June 11, 2015

Book Club Meeting On Rupert Murdoch’s Boat

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company

Good morning from the Canary Islands!

I’m on the Manka Bros. Employee Yacht (The King Khan) which was paid for by all your hard work!

As a reminder, because it is the “Employee Yacht” (paid for by a slight deduction from your weekly paychecks), one of you will be eligible to host your very own party for your friends or colleagues on this very yacht. The date set for this party is, I believe, a Tuesday in February – so be sure and sign up for the drawing.

Because we’re deep in the dog days of August, I am out of Hollywood and off the coast of Africa.

I was finally able to arrange for my Monthly Mogul Book Club Meeting which took place yesterday. Unfortunately, it was Rupert Murdoch’s time to host the meeting which meant it was either going to be in Rupert’s crappy North Hollywood apartment or his ridiculous excuse for a yacht.

Since we’re all out of town, we decided to meet on his “yacht” – actually a shitty old rickety sea trawler in desperate need of a paint job. He has named it “The Chase Carey.” It was once called “The Peter Chernin” but those letters appear to have been violently scratched out.

But Rupert didn’t get to be Rupert by buying fancy mansions and yachts. He got where he is today by eating mac & cheese and drinking water from the tap in his $750 / month North Hollywood apartment.

Rupert’s boat was anchored near the run-down port city of Naples, Italy. Since he didn’t have a helipad on his boat, we all had to deal with the inconvenience of getting there by either jetski or motorboat.

In attendance was Rupert Murdoch, Barry Diller, Jeff Zucker, Ben Silverman (replacing Harvey Weinstein – who officially lost his mogul status), Bob Iger, Sumner Redstone (by phone), Les Moonves and myself. (We really wanted to try and get some female moguls involved in the group but those are really hard to come by these days. The only person close to mogul status is what’s her name from Facebook – that chick from the Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference.)

Anyway, because I had such a hard time remembering what happened at the last book club meeting once we started doing Slivovitz shots, this time I brought a little recorder to document the event. My assistant, Vicky, was kind enough to transcribe it and post it here:

———————–

Mogul Book Club Meeting – August 9, 2010 – Rupert Murdoch’s Boat “The Chase Carey”

Rupert: Murdoch: Thanks for coming. Thanks Khan for pulling this all together. I don’t have anything other than Keystone Beer on the boat, so hopefully you all got my note about bringing your own drinks. I do have a cheese plate and few leftover crackers from our TV Upfront Presentation in May.

Our book this month is “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.” I would like to thank Sumner Redstone for providing us all with a new iPad with the book preloaded onto it.

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): I didn’t provide any such thing! What the fuck? Who sent you all iPads? I’m not in the iPad giving business! Who sent it? I’m not gonna kill that person – I just want to talk to him.

Bob Iger: I got it from Philippe Dauman. He signed both your names and said “Sorry he couldn’t make it.”

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): Dauman? I’ll kill him.

Jeff Zucker: Can we fucking talk about the stupid book? I’ve got a meeting on Brian Roberts’ yacht off Capri in two hours.

Les Moonves: Do you still work for him or has he fired you? Nikki Finke hasn’t been clear about this.

Jeff Zucker: Look, Leslie… I fire – I don’t get fired. Capisce?

Barry Diller: I thought you said you had a cheese plate?

Rupert Murdoch: Maybe Lachlan didn’t set it out. There’s a cooler there on floor with ice in it. It may be there.

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): Are we going to talk about the book? This “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” is a fiery bitch. I think I could do a show with her of some kind.

Bob Iger: Stop trying to make me throw up, Sumner.

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): I’ll ‘throw up’ you – right up your ass.

Barry Diller: There’s no cheese in this cooler, Rupert. The ice is all frosted together. Did you have fish in here?

Khan Manka, Jr.: The guy who wrote the book is from Finland or something, I think. He’s pretty hot right now. We may go after his next book.

Jeff Zucker: He’s dead, you moron.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Weren’t you fired yet, Fucker?

[Lots of laughs in the room.]

Barry Diller: Rupert! Did you have fish in this cooler? Fuck it. Ben go back to Naples and pick up some cheese. This is bullshit.

Jeff Zucker: This IS bullshit. I have to go.

Bob Iger: So we’re not talking about the book?

Les Moonves: Fine with me. I didn’t read it.

Ben Silverman: I had the coverage faxed to Diddy’s yacht last night but I haven’t perused it.

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): I’ll ‘peruse’ you – right up your ass!

Rupert Murdoch: There’s a movie coming out. I’ll just watch that. What studio’s got that?

Les Moonves: Sony.

Rupert Murdoch: Fuckers ain’t got “Avatar” though, do they? Maybe we should invite Michael Lynton to the next meeting.

Jeff Zucker: Is he really a mogul? You never hear about him in the press.

Rupert Murdoch: Still not fired yet, huh? I give it another five minutes. Gentlemen, please leave your booze behind, I’m having people over tonight.

[Everyone leaves the boat.]

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): Hello? Are we talking about the book? Hello? What the fuck is this? I can wait longer than you. I’m gonna live forever…

———————————

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

July 15, 2010May 5, 2011

I Have Restarted My Monthly Book Club

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Bradley, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Brian Grazer, Brian Roberts, Candice Bergen, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chase Carey, Chris Silbermann, Cory Booker, Diane Von Furstenberg, Don Graham, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Eisner, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, George Bodenheimer, Gina Bianchini, Gordon Crawford, Haim Saban, Hank Vigil, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Berg, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jim Berkus, Jim Gianopulos, Jim Robinson, John Donahue, Jon Miller, Jonathan Dolgen, Ken Auletta, Ken Chenault, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Larry Page, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Michael Ovitz, Mike Bloomberg, Mogul Book Club, Niall FitzGerald, Owen Van Natta, Patt Morrison, Peter Chernin, Philippe Dauman, Phillippe Dauman, Rachael Ray, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robbie Bach, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Stieg Larsson, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Tim Armstrong, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tom Glocer, Tom Rothman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, Water For Elephants, World's Largest Media Company

Good morning.

I’m back in office after a few days at an Indian [editor’s change: Native American] Teepee sweat camp to get all the Sun Valley alcohol out of my system. That Herb Allen really knows how to over serve his guests.

About the only good thing to come out of that suck ass Sun Valley Retreat last week was the commitment from a few of my fellow moguls to restart our Monthly Book Club.

The last book club meeting we had was a couple of years ago and it was a disaster.

As I recall, Carl Icahn crashed the meeting and threatened to wage a proxy war to take over all our companies but I promptly had him removed by security. [Editor’s note: Mr. Manka, according to his own blog, actually invited Mr. Icahn to that meeting. But it is true that he had him removed by security.]

Poor, pathetic Carl is such a joke he’s not even able to take over Lionsgate – the puniest of all the studios. So, sorry, Carl, you won’t be getting an invite to my Mogul Book Club. RULE #1: YOU MUST BE A MOGUL. Harvey Weinstein will also not be getting an invite. Ben Silverman will be taking his place.

As I told my mogul friends (Bob Iger, Rupert Murdoch, Phillipe Dauman, et al) at The Drankin’ Hole last week, our book selection is “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”. Everyone seems to be talking about this Stieg Larsson guy (maybe Manka Bros. should hire him to write something) – so I think it will be a better selection than our last book – “Water For Elephants”.

The meeting will be at Haim Saban’s house one week from Sunday – so get your assistants to pick up the book and get reading!

To my Senior Management Team at Manka Bros., I suppose we should have some sort of meeting to see what the fuck is going on around here and why haven’t had a hit movie this summer!

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

July 9, 2010July 5, 2011

Song Of The Mogul – Sun Valley 2010 – Day 4

Sun Valley Conference 2010

Day 1 — Day 2 — Day 3 — Day 4

—————————————–

Day 4:

I’m told Harvey Weinstein was the first to arrive at The Drankin’ Hole – an Idaho-friendly way of saying ‘bar’.

During the conference, the bar has been dubbed the Herb Allen Memorial Drankin’ Hole. I’m not sure why “Memorial” is in there since Herb is very much alive – but, that’s Idaho for ya.

After the past two horrible nights and after Manka Bros. received ZERO Emmy Nominations earlier in the day, I was in no mood to stay sober. So I was relieved that we would finally be devoting an evening to the fine art of getting drunk. And drunk we did get.

But my depression was Harvey Weinstein’s depression’s bitch. He lost an entire studio earlier that day. At least Manka Bros.’ standing as the World’s Largest Media Company is intact. Harvey ain’t got shit.

The Drankin’ Hole is nestled deep within the Sun Valley Lodge and there would be no access to anyone lower than mogul status with the exception of bartender Bin Tran (best dirty martinis in the world!) whose job it was to keep the drinks flowing and the bar fully stocked.

The March of the Moguls into the bar began immediately after LeBron James announced he was going to Miami. I don’t really care where LeBron goes – but it seems to me we can’t slam a guy who would prefer to spend his winters in Miami over Cleveland. Call me crazy. Most entering the room were talking about it and kept calling him a “moron” except George Bodenheimer – who called him a genius. “Wait till you see the overnights!”

So… I won’t bore anyone with the bullshit chitchat that went on while waiting for the effects of alcohol to take over our brains. (One side note: Bob Iger did ask if I wanted to buy ABC. I had to ‘gently’ remind him that I already owned a major broadcast network – MBS. I must apologize to Bob. I didn’t mean to dress him down so cruelly in front of the other moguls. But I worry about Bob. I think he’s starting to lose his memory).

I think it was Terry Semel who figured out how to turn on the Karaoke machine. He was fiddling around with something on the little stage in the bar and suddenly there was BLAAHT from one of the speakers.

“Is this on? Is this on?”, Terry said. “I’d like to propose a toast… to Herb Allen for continuing to boost our egos by designating us the most important people of the world every year. To my fellow Moguls… for being the most important people in the world. And to Bin Tran – for making the best dirty martinis in the world!” This last one got the biggest applause. “Now let’s sing!”

Terry Semel started things off with Barry Manilow’s “Ready To Take A Chance Again”. It was sung about an octave too low and was more spoken then sung. But it had heart. If you know Terry’s voice, you get the idea.

I would say the most embarrassing moment came when Harvey Weinstein sang a sloppy drunk version of “I Will Survive”. We all seemed to feel this was a bit too on the nose. It got truly pathetic when he sang the chorus “I Will Survive” and we all sang back “No, You Won’t!” Sad sad sad.

For myself, I always start off with “Me and Bobby McGee” and then later I do “Jeremy” by Pearl Jam. Always a crowd favorite – but I used to be in a band.

Other highlights included Jeff Zucker (“Desperado”), Brian Roberts (“Everybody Dance Now”), Haim Saban (“Summer Wind” and “My Way”), Diane Von Furstenberg surprised us all with the entire “Bohemian Rhapsody”, Chase Carey did an unbelievably killer version of “Keep On Rocking In The Free World”, Larry Page, Sergey Brin and Eric Schmidt really embarrassed themselves with “Livin’ On A Prayer” and Mark Zuckerberg sang some song by Kelly Clarkson that no one really knew or paid attention to.

We kept waiting for Barry Diller to sing that song he does every year from “Les Miserables” – but he decided not to sing this year. I can imagine he’s exhausted from last night’s “event”.

The evening was concluded perfectly by Warren Buffett and Herb Allen who got together on stage and thanked everyone and then did a heartfelt version of “Last Dance”. By the time it got the “fast skate” portion (a throwback term to my roller disco years in the 1970s), we were hopping around in a joyous drunken way, singing along and enjoying our power.

Last night was a truly great night.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

July 8, 2010July 10, 2019

Burning Mogul – Sun Valley 2010 – Day 3

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Burning Mogul

Sun Valley Conference 2010

Day 1 — Day 2 — Day 3 — Day 4

——————————————

Day 3:

There is an unspoken and unwritten code among us moguls that I am about to break.

I have seen many things over my crazy life – from drugged out son of movie mogul Harry Manka in the 1960s and 70s to my current life as head of Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company – but nothing prepared me for the fucked up shit that Herb Allen (& Co.) put us through last night. This is a sick and pathetic world (even for us rich and powerful) and you either join the sick and pathetic to survive or die trying.

While the media that is gathered behind the barbed wire and gun toting secret police outside the walls of the Sun Valley Lodge will hear one story about last night’s “charity gala hosted by Diane Von Furstenberg” – the real story is what happened on the other side of the Lodge.

At 7:46 PM, the lights went out in my room. This wasn’t a problem since it was still light outside. I could see fine. A slow, ominous drum beat could be heard in the distance. Then, the distinct voice of Charlie Rose came over the loudspeakers in what I thought was Latin but just turned out to be bad pronunciation. I started to make out the words:

“Seekers and Outliers…
Don’t Blink…
It’s An Inflection Point…
The Tipping Point…”

There was a pounding on the door of my suite. I looked over and saw smoke coming from underneath the door. I put on a robe and opened the door.

Standing there was Sergey Brin and Larry Page dressed in chain mail – almost like Oakland Raider fans. Sergey was holding a smoke machine. Larry, speaking in as low a pitch as possible (but still pretty high), said: “You have been chosen. The Master demands your presence.”

Behind them, down the hall, I could see Jeff Zucker and Brian Roberts (badly disguised in homemade Spider-man costumes) drag a screaming Jeffrey Katzenberg out of his room and down the hall. Katzenberg was screaming: “I just need to finish this fucking call, you assholes!”

I went peacefully in my bathrobe to wherever the Google guys were taking me. Why the fuck not? This conference was already a dud as far as I’m concerned. This could actually be something interesting.

It was odd to see the Hotel Staff continue to say things to me like “Good evening, Mr. Manka” and “How are you tonight, sir?” – while being led to some secret location by Sergey Brin and Larry Page in chain mail. I believe they were supposed to put a hood on my head because once we got outside they stopped and argued a bit and then put a hood on my head. I could hear a few kids jumping into the nearby pool and having a good time.

As I walked toward something in complete darkness, the drum beat got louder and more intense and I could feel the heat of fire. My hood was suddenly pulled from my head and I had to laugh at what I saw–

–Barry Diller – in tight, small burlap sack shorts, a pair of metallic wings on his bare arms that were on fire at the tips and nothing else – standing in front of me in all his glory. I believe he had taken advantage of the free spray tan offered by the hotel.

Behind him, on the ground doing Chinese splits in front of a large Burning Figure was Jon Miller. He was staring right at me as though he was about to kick my ass.

Barry was having some trouble holding up the metal wings, so Haim Saban and Les Moonves each held up a wing.

Barry Diller spoke to me in that slow, effeminate but oh-so-frightening voice: “Khan Manka, are you new media or old media?”

I told him I didn’t believe in the concept of old and new media. It’s just media to me.

Barry Diller: Wrong answer!

What followed (and I can’t keep writing because there are more pointless presentations and panels to go to today) was an insane night of dancing around fires; simulating the drinking of blood (which were actually Cape Cods with red food dye squeezed out of bota bags); rubbing canola oil and dirt onto each others bodies; something called the “golden shower test”; and, lastly, Barry demanded a human sacrifice which we all quickly decided should be Marc Andreesson. I’ll never get his screams out of my head.

It was just the worst freakin’ night of my life.

Afterwards, the lights came up and we were all given a goody bag by Herb Allen of various new handheld devices including the iPhone 4, the Droid and the latest iPad.

This morning, 5:00 a.m. came really early. The last thing I wanted to hear was the “Dawn of the Mogul”.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

July 7, 2010July 10, 2012

Dawn Of The Mogul – Sun Valley 2010 – Day 2

Sun Valley Conference 2010

Day 1 — Day 2 — Day 3 — Day 4

—————————————–

Day 2:

Good morning… or as they say in Sun Valley “Another Beauty” – in that certain rich hippie way. The first night of the four day drunk fest is over and I’m not feeling too bad considering how much I drank last night.

The dinner was fine. Who knew moose would work so well in a stew? The flan was also not too bad. I was seated between Mark Zuckerberg and Lady Gaga (Mogul? Really?).

That Gaga guy was fine but Mark Zuckerberg was a pain in my ass. I tried to change seats but no one would do it.

It seems Zuckerberg was pissed off that some blogger in my enormous company made some crack that “Facebook Is Worthless”. I have thousands of employees. I can’t be bothered about one freakin’ blogger. What a punk ass dope!

The drinking went well into the night. Rupert Murdoch, Terry Semel and I held court in Herb’s Grotto near the Piranha Tank. As I said yesterday, bartender Bin Tran makes the best freakin’ dirty martinis I’ve ever had. I suck ’em down like water.

Unfortunately, the night had to end and this morning began at 5:00 a.m. with the ridiculous “Dawn of the Mogul” choral arrangement / wake up call (written by Michael Eisner years ago) played over loud speakers to urge us all to:

“Rise, Rise, Rise with the Sun.
We are Moguls.
The World We Run… etc. etc.”

This annoying, horrible song repeats and repeats until we all gather out in the Common Area (a name that seriously needs to be changed. We are far from “common”. I have suggested “Manka Plaza” or “Khan Kourt”).

After we assembled for calisthenics led by Bob Iger (a non-starter for me and almost all of the Tech CEOs), “The Call of the Moguls” fanfare is played while the Allen & Co. flag is raised up the flagpole.

We then recite “The Pledge of the Mogul” (which I will not repeat – but involves words like “integrity”, “philanthropy” and “quality”). All bullshit if you ask me. But there were a few guys (Jeffrey Katzenberg and Harvey Weinstein to name a couple) who were reciting it as though they were brainwashed North Korean school children. They were in tears as they pledged to be the best mogul they could be.

[As a side note, some of us are meeting later in the day to discuss whether Harvey Weinstein can still be considered a mogul. It may be time to ceremonially strip him of this title. We’ll have to see.]

After an awkward group embrace, we were sent our own way by Herb Allen for bike riding, tennis or our own private “thinking time” by the Duck Pond.

We then gathered in the “Great Hall of the Moguls” for a breakfast of waffles and our choice of sausage made from wild game that was recently shot on a local hunting farm. Antelope seems to be favorite among media moguls. The tech moguls go right for the bacon made from wild boar.

So that’s been my morning. I passed on going to several little panel groups and am about to have my first cocktail.

Jeff Zucker and Peter Chernin are sneaking out of the “Women In Technology” panel and joining me to watch the Spain / Germany World Cup match.

Hopefully, something interesting is planned for tonight. I’m so unbelievably bored.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

July 6, 2010July 5, 2011

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference 2010 – Day 1

Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company

Sun Valley Conference 2010

Day 1 — Day 2 — Day 3 — Day 4

—————————————–

Day 1:

I’m leaving the office and heading to Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Retreat. I’ve been going up for the past 20 years or so and it’s becoming more of a chore than a joy.

It used to be fun to watch Bob Iger and Rupert Murdoch get drunk and do late night karaoke – but not much anymore.

Hopefully, Herb has something up his sleeve this year to pump some life into this dinosaur of a conference. If it’s the same as it was last year and the year before, people are going to stop coming. And that would break poor Herbie’s heart.

I’ll attempt to write about anything interesting that happens – though it all depends on the severity of my hangovers.

While I will reachable by phone, if anyone other than Lloyd Grohl tries to contact me, that person will be fired. If Lloyd Grohl needs to contact me and cell phone service is weak or if I’m holding my iPhone 4 in the wrong position, I can probably be found in Herb’s Grotto next to the piranha tank. The bartender, Bin Tran, makes the best dirty martini in the world.

[Note to my assistant Vicky: I noticed at tonight’s dinner in the Great Hall of the Moguls they have me seated between Mark Zuckerberg and Lady Gaga. I would prefer not to sit next to Zuckerberg. That punk ass kid is a freak.]

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

November 11, 2009October 5, 2017

Dinner With Harvey Weinstein

Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob Weinstein, Harvey Weinstein, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Malcolm Gladwell, Manka Bros., Mark Gill, Miramax, OnMedea, Rob Zombie, Sizzler, Strauss Zelnick, Terry Semel, Texas Toast, The Daily Beast, The Weinstein Company, The World's Largest Media Company, Tina Brown

Last night, I received a somewhat desperate call from Harvey Weinstein. He said he wanted to take me out to dinner and discuss something that could be incredibly beneficial to both our companies.

I could tell this was going to be a disastrous meeting.

Since Harvey offered to pay, he chose a restaurant that he could afford – the Sizzler on Hollywood Blvd. He told me not worry about what it costs, that he was paying for “all I could eat.”

We sat at his normal booth and the waitress, Maria, brought us some Texas Toast. Harvey folded his piece and took a healthy double-bite.

“Let me get right to the point, Khan. I want to take Manka Bros. off your hands.Based on your Theatrical and TV slates, I can see you are struggling. All I would need is for you to spot me a $10 million dollar upfront payment. I’ll take it from there.”

I barely heard what he was saying because the Texas Toast was surprisingly excellent.

“Khan, did you hear what I said? Maria, more fucking toast over here – chop chop!”

“You want me to pay you $10 million to take my company away from me. Ten fucking million for the world’s largest media company – which my father and uncles founded and built from the ground up a 100 years ago? Are you fucking nuts?”

Maria brought another basket of Texas Toast – our hands bumped reaching for it.

“Fuckin’ losers those guys, Khan. No offense. I’ll turn your goddamned dinosaur of a business into a cash cow in… oh, I don’t know… three weeks! I’ll fuckin’ get Tina Brown to run your books division. I’ll fuckin’ get Rob Zombie to do some kind of movie shit, asshole.Think about it.”

Harvey got up to go to the salad bar. “Do you want some cantaloupe?”

I nodded my head and made a call to Lloyd Grohl (Manka Bros. President and COO) to see if there was anything we could or should do for poor Harvey. Lloyd quickly told me to turn him down nicely and get out of the Sizzler as fast as I could – that my life was in danger!

Harvey returned and saw me clicking off the phone. “Who the fuck was that?”

“Nobody, Harvey. Look, I have to turn you down. Manka Bros. isn’t for sale and will never be for sale. Manka Bros. is a giant fucking media conglomerate. The biggest in the world. You don’t buy us – we buy you. And, from what I hear about your current financial situation, I don’t want to buy you.”

“OK, Khan. I understand.”