Manka Bros. To Spend 2011 Profits On 2012 TV Upfront Presentation

2011 TV upfronts, Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angela Bromstad, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Ben Silverman, Beryl Cook, Beverly Garland Holiday Inn, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Carnegie Hall, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Dawn Ostoff, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Kevin Reilly, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Stephen McPherson, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William Schwartz, World's Largest Media Company, Yankee Stadium

2011 TV upfronts, Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angela Bromstad, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Ben Silverman, Beryl Cook, Beverly Garland Holiday Inn, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Carnegie Hall, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Dawn Ostoff, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Kevin Reilly, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nancy Tellum, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Stephen McPherson, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William Schwartz, World's Largest Media Company, Yankee StadiumGood morning.

As many of you may already know, MBS announced its 2011-12 fall schedule this morning and, I must say, it was the singular most embarrassing morning of my entire life.

It was a stunningly pathetic display of star power and crappy content that no person (let alone the Chairman & CEO) should have had to witness.

While our competitors are at top notch venues like Madison Square Garden and Carnegie Hall with extremely elaborate presentations and big stars high-fiving each other, MBS announced its schedule via a press release from the Beverly Garland Holiday Inn in North Hollywood, CA.

In 2012, this will not be acceptable!

I am, therefore, announcing (during this week of 2011 upfront announcements) that the MBS’ 2012 Upfronts will be held at Yankee Stadium in New York.  If this means we have to spend all of our 2011 profits to pay for this event… so be it!

I will NOT be embarrassed like this again!

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Note To Shareholders:  Because of this extreme event, Manka Bros. (NYSE: MBX) may have to cut its dividend for 2011.

Manka Bros. Would Like To Offer Judy McGrath A Job

Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William Schwartz

Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William SchwartzSo my old (understatement) friend Sumner Redstone has decided to let Judy McGrath “resign”.

What a dumb ass idiot mistake.  His mind is really starting to fail him now.

Sumner used to let me know in advance when his senior executives were going to be leaving so that I could be first in line to poach them if I felt they would fit in at Manka Bros.  But he’s been so focused on JWoww lately, he rarely even picks up the phone for me anymore (and this after I let him stay at my house after his divorce and came to his pathetic Christmas party!).

But I digress…

Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William SchwartzI have known Judy McGrath for well over 30 years.  Before I was Chairman & CEO of Manka Bros. in the early 1970s (my asshole father Harry Manka was in charge then) she used to come hear my band King Khan play our regular gigs at the Starlite Lounge in North Hollywood.  She was known to the band as Sweet Judy Blue Eyes (though I really don’t know what color her eyes are).

If I wasn’t forced to take over Manka Bros. after my father’s death who knows how great my band would have been.  And with Judy McGrath going to MTV, we definitely would have had a video in high rotation!  Goddamnit!

But I digress…

Anyway, so Judy, Manka Bros. would like to offer you a job.  You can pretty much pick which division you would like to lead.

We currently have a President of our Television Group, Jay McBee, but he really sucks at his job and only has it because he won a random draw nationwide competition based on a code found underneath a Pepsi cap.  Before winning, he worked at Radio Shack in Sioux City, IA.  In the TV business that’s normally enough of a qualification, but Jay keeps finding new and more exciting ways to suck.  It’s stunning really.  So his job is definitely available if you’d like to stay in TV.

Or just peruse our Senior Management list and take your pick.  Lloyd Grohl is the only one that is safe as far as I’m concerned.

Please call my assistant, Vicky Adler-Modry, to set up an appointment.  Regardless of what you may have heard about Manka Bros.’ recent track record, there is still no better place to work than at the World’s Largest Media Company.

And we have free yogurt Fridays during the summer!

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Rupert Murdoch and Sumner Redstone

Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William Schwartz, World's Largest Media Company

Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William Schwartz, World's Largest Media Company“I’m a firm believer that everyone is a freakin’ idiot and don’t know shit about nothing…” – Harry Manka (my father)

Good afternoon.  It’s been a while.

I’ve been away for the past few weeks working on a secret deal.  I can’t tell you the details but I can say that I rode back on Manka Jet 1 (The Joey) with Rupert Murdoch and Sumner Redstone.

If you want to believe that the deal somehow involves them then go ahead and make that assumption.  Make an asshole out of yourself.

As we all know, the world is going digital.  And as goes the world – so goes Manka Bros. Studios (or is it the reverse?).  With the world’s largest library of film and television content, Manka Bros. is in the best position to take advantage of this digital (r)evolution.

Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William Schwartz, World's Largest Media CompanyRupert Murdoch and Sumner Redstone’s pathetic attempt to purchase Manka Bros. over the weekend for several billion dollars just proves how bullish we should all be at our company.

Keep up the work (I can’t say “good” work because, frankly, you’ve all sucked at your jobs the past few months.  How about a hit movie [WTF is “Flaccid Trip”?] or TV show [“My Wife Left Me For Bucky Dent”?]… for once?!).

More to come in the remaining days before I disappear for the summer.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Abu Dhabi Media Summit

Abu Dhabi Media Company, Abu Dhabi Media Summit 2010, Andrew Critchlow, Apple, Barry Meyer, Ben Silverman, City of Gold, Didier Lombard, Dirk Meyer, Dr. Kai-Fu-Lee, Dr. Prannoy Roy, Dr. Suk-Chae Lee, Edward Borgerding, Eric Schmidt, H.e. K.K. Al Mubarak, H.E. Mohamed Khalaf Al Mazrouei, H.E. Mohammed Omran, Hans Vestberg, Hartmut Ostrowski, James Murdoch, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Zucker, Jim Crane, Jon Miller, Karim Sabbagh, Khan Manka, Kishore Lulla, Manka Bros., Maurice Levy, Mehmet Ali Yalcindag, Mike Fairburn, Mohammed Omran, Nour Malas, Owen Van Natta, Prince Bin Talal, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Stefania Bianchi, Steve Ballmer, Steve Jobs, Sunil Bharti Mittal, The World's Largest Media Company, Tim Armstrong, Tony Orsten

Abu Dhabi Media Company, Abu Dhabi Media Summit 2010, Andrew Critchlow, Apple, Barry Meyer, Ben Silverman, City of Gold, Didier Lombard, Dirk Meyer, Dr. Kai-Fu-Lee, Dr. Prannoy Roy, Dr. Suk-Chae Lee, Edward Borgerding, Eric Schmidt, H.e. K.K. Al Mubarak, H.E. Mohamed Khalaf Al Mazrouei, H.E. Mohammed Omran, Hans Vestberg, Hartmut Ostrowski, James Murdoch, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Zucker, Jim Crane, Jon Miller, Karim Sabbagh, Khan Manka, Kishore Lulla, Manka Bros., Maurice Levy, Mehmet Ali Yalcindag, Mike Fairburn, Mohammed Omran, Nour Malas, Owen Van Natta, Prince Bin Talal, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Stefania Bianchi, Steve Ballmer, Steve Jobs, Sunil Bharti Mittal, The World's Largest Media Company, Tim Armstrong, Tony OrstenGood afternoon from Yas IslandAbu Dhabi U.A.E.

I am dictating this blog from a mud bath in the giant purple Yas Hotel Spa Resort.  Thanks to Stefania Bianchi and Nour Malas from the Wall Street Journal for taking this down and getting it to my office.  I apologize for the smell.

When the U.A.E. ruler and prime minister Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum called me over the weekend to see if I could come to speak at the Abu Dhabi Media Summit, I told him absolutely not.  I was preparing for another disastrous night at the Oscars (in which Manka Bros. was shut out yet again!) and did not want to travel 10,000 miles (or whatever) to speak about Manka Bros.’ future in the Middle East.

Abu Dhabi Media Company, Abu Dhabi Media Summit 2010, Andrew Critchlow, Apple, Barry Meyer, Ben Silverman, City of Gold, Didier Lombard, Dirk Meyer, Dr. Kai-Fu-Lee, Dr. Prannoy Roy, Dr. Suk-Chae Lee, Edward Borgerding, Eric Schmidt, H.e. K.K. Al Mubarak, H.E. Mohamed Khalaf Al Mazrouei, H.E. Mohammed Omran, Hans Vestberg, Hartmut Ostrowski, James Murdoch, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Zucker, Jim Crane, Jon Miller, Karim Sabbagh, Khan Manka, Kishore Lulla, Manka Bros., Maurice Levy, Mehmet Ali Yalcindag, Mike Fairburn, Mohammed Omran, Nour Malas, Owen Van Natta, Prince Bin Talal, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Stefania Bianchi, Steve Ballmer, Steve Jobs, Sunil Bharti Mittal, The World's Largest Media Company, Tim Armstrong, Tony OrstenAs far as I’m concerned, there isn’t a future for Manka Bros. in the Middle East.  Construction of our Manka Fun Park in Yemen has gotten off to a horrible start due to various terrorist acts in and around the park site, so optimism about the future is not something I’m feeling right now.

But, in a stunning coincidence, as I was speaking to the Sheik, Rupert Murdoch called from his airport and asked if I wanted to hitch a ride to Abu Dhabi on his jet (The Roger Ailes 1).

It’s hard to turn down Rupert – so here I am. 

(Note:  To Ethan Rubidoux, we’re stopping through Yemen on the way back to check on Manka Fun Park Yemen’s progress.  Please triple my personal security and make sure Johnny Walker Blue is stocked in the mini-bar).

Abu Dhabi Media Company, Abu Dhabi Media Summit 2010, Andrew Critchlow, Apple, Barry Meyer, Ben Silverman, City of Gold, Didier Lombard, Dirk Meyer, Dr. Kai-Fu-Lee, Dr. Prannoy Roy, Dr. Suk-Chae Lee, Edward Borgerding, Eric Schmidt, H.e. K.K. Al Mubarak, H.E. Mohamed Khalaf Al Mazrouei, H.E. Mohammed Omran, Hans Vestberg, Hartmut Ostrowski, James Murdoch, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Zucker, Jim Crane, Jon Miller, Karim Sabbagh, Khan Manka, Kishore Lulla, Manka Bros., Maurice Levy, Mehmet Ali Yalcindag, Mike Fairburn, Mohammed Omran, Nour Malas, Owen Van Natta, Prince Bin Talal, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Stefania Bianchi, Steve Ballmer, Steve Jobs, Sunil Bharti Mittal, The World's Largest Media Company, Tim Armstrong, Tony OrstenI will be speaking at the Abu Dhabi Media Conference tomorrow morning.  It will most likely be a variation on my recent speech to the Davos World Economic Forum.

Rupert spoke tonight.  He rambled on and on about freedom of the press in the Middle East (or some such bullshit).

Hey Rupert, from one freedom crusher to another – “Nice try.”  Think the Sheik buy will that crap from the owner of Fox News?

Rupert was supposed to meet me here at the spa after his speech but I haven’t seen him yet.  He has two hours blocked out for a chemical peel.

Abu Dhabi Media Company, Abu Dhabi Media Summit 2010, Andrew Critchlow, Apple, Barry Meyer, Ben Silverman, City of Gold, Didier Lombard, Dirk Meyer, Dr. Kai-Fu-Lee, Dr. Prannoy Roy, Dr. Suk-Chae Lee, Edward Borgerding, Eric Schmidt, H.e. K.K. Al Mubarak, H.E. Mohamed Khalaf Al Mazrouei, H.E. Mohammed Omran, Hans Vestberg, Hartmut Ostrowski, James Murdoch, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Zucker, Jim Crane, Jon Miller, Karim Sabbagh, Khan Manka, Kishore Lulla, Manka Bros., Maurice Levy, Mehmet Ali Yalcindag, Mike Fairburn, Mohammed Omran, Nour Malas, Owen Van Natta, Prince Bin Talal, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Stefania Bianchi, Steve Ballmer, Steve Jobs, Sunil Bharti Mittal, The World's Largest Media Company, Tim Armstrong, Tony OrstenLater tonight, I’m meeting Eric Schmidt at the Noodle Box here at the hotel.  He wanted to meet at the Wandering Camel Discoteque (something like that) but I had to take a pass.  My knee has been f-ed up ever since I took a tumble down Whistler while at the Vancouver Olympics.  Dancing until dawn is something I can’t really handle right now.

Eric wants Manka Bros. to go exclusive to the Google Android with our mobile content.  I’m going to tell him the only way we would agree to that would be if he changed his name to Steve Jobs and changed his company name to Apple.

He won’t respond well to that.  But I don’t respond well to others trying to push around The World’s Largest Media Company!

Here’s Rupert now (with Steve Ballmer – and three other guys carrying Steve’s stuff).

Wish me luck tomorrow.  I just pray they let me leave the country after I destroy their delusions of creating a “New Media Paradise” in the middle of this miserable desert.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

The Future Of Television – As Told To Me By Michael Eisner

All For Nots, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Dick Cook, Disney, duck hunting, Future of Television, Haim Saban, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Military helilcopter, Prom Queen, Robert Iger, Samhas7friends, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the Chairman's Blog, Tornante Company, Veoh, Vuguru, Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah Winfrey

All For Nots, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Dick Cook, Disney, duck hunting, Future of Television, Haim Saban, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Military helilcopter, Prom Queen, Robert Iger, Samhas7friends, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the Chairman's Blog, Tornante Company, Veoh, Vuguru, Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah WinfreyGood afternoon.

Over the past few days, Michael Eisner’s lawyers have attempted to put a muzzle on me.

Apparently, M.E. didn’t like the idea of me blogging about our Duck Hunting trip last week and wanted to try and stop me from putting up a part two.  Some of the top lawyers in Hollywood have been fighting and I’m completely fed up with it.  I’m just going blog and don’t give a shit what the repercussions may be.

As I was saying last week, Michael Eisner picked me up in his military-style helicopter and took me duck hunting.  I had never been duck hunting before and I don’t scare easily, but when I climbed into that Duck Blind with M.E. and saw the crazed look in his eyes, I was afraid.

As he started to load his 12-gauge shotgun with shells, he looked up:

M.E.:  It gets a lot darker at night for me than anyone else in the world.  I’m going to leave my head to science so they can try to figure out what the hell was going on inside my brain.

We sat in silence for about five minutes.  Someone had already loaded a gun for me and I had it across my lap, not quite sure what to do with it.  M.E. fluttered his eyes a bit as he blew softly into an ominous sounding duck call that echoed over the lake.

KM:  So… what do we do?  Sit here and wait for the ducks and then try to shoot them?

M.E.:  Waiting for the ducks.  Ha, that’s the problem with Manka Bros.  You’re always waiting for the ducks.

KM:  What the fuck does that mean?  I run the biggest media company in the world and you’re telling me what’s wrong with my company?  What do you got?  Baseball cards?

Suddenly, M.E. leaped to his feet, swinging the gun up.

M.E.:  QUACK RIGHT SHOOT!

He blasted two quick SHOTS.  There were two quick duck HONKS.  And then two quick SPLASHES.

All For Nots, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Dick Cook, Disney, duck hunting, Future of Television, Haim Saban, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Military helilcopter, Prom Queen, Robert Iger, Samhas7friends, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the Chairman's Blog, Tornante Company, Veoh, Vuguru, Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah WinfreyM.E:  Katzenberg!  Ducks!

His dog, Katzenberg, leaped out of the blind and swam toward the killed ducks.  Katzenberg gathered them in his mouth and swam back to the blind.

M.E.:  Good dog.  Pretty slow on the trigger there, Khan.

KM:  You don’t mind if I just sit here, do you?  I really don’t want to shoot at ducks.  My life is interesting enough.

M.E.’s eyes darted back and forth, not sure whether to shoot me or let it go.  We momentarily returned to small talk, asking about each other’s families and our health, etc.  M.E. shot eight more ducks.  Katzenberg fished them out of the pond.  Finally, M.E. got around to the point he wanted to make.

M.E.:  The future of television is fucked.

KM:  In its current form, yes, I would say it is challenged.

M.E.:  In any form.  It’s over.  Spending additional dollars on a declining asset is what dumb asses do.

All For Nots, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Dick Cook, Disney, duck hunting, Future of Television, Haim Saban, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Military helilcopter, Prom Queen, Robert Iger, Samhas7friends, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the Chairman's Blog, Tornante Company, Veoh, Vuguru, Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah WinfreyKM:  There’s still an audience.  You gotta put something on the air.  Severed Fingers is profitable just from International sales.  Why quit a business that’s profitable?

M.E.:  Why don’t you sell typewriters or bulk up on VHS cassettes or dial-up modems?  Plenty of people still need those things and you’ll make a profit since it means so fucking much to you.  Whoop-tee-fuckin-do!

His eyes were starting to roll back into his head.  I knew I had to get out of there.  I had no idea where I was but I did have my Blackberry and was able to send a PING to my assistant, Vicky.  Once she receives my distress call I am normally picked up within the hour no matter where I am in the world.

KM:  Then, tell me Michael, where do you think media is headed?  Online?  Cell phones?  You know, Manka Bros. is spending $1 billion on short-form internet-only content.

M.E.:  I will shoot you dead if you mention the “I” word again.  The Internet is over.  My online series “Prom Queen” hit at the peak of that fad.  No no… the future is right here.

KM:  What do you mean?  A couple of guys talking by a pond with a loaded gun in their hands?

M.E.:  That’s part of it.  Human interaction is the future.  It’s real.  Something you can’t slap a banner ad next to and call it “paid content”.  It’s just you, me and the meat that we kill and eat.  I’m going “into the wild”.

He seemed sincere.  He looked tired.   Frankly, he looked done.

M.E.:  You may go, Khan.  If you tell anyone about this conversation, I will hunt you down and slaughter you like a mountain goat.

Michael Eisner’s chopper took me away and I was back in Los Angeles in time to watch the suck-ass Dodgers lose.  Mariska Hargitay was the only guest allowed in the Manka Bros. Suite at Dodgers Stadium.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. – Do not fret, Manka Bros. will still be producing high-quality television content long after Michael Eisner freezes to death in a bus outside of Fairbanks, Alaska.

Duck Hunting With Michael Eisner

All For Nots, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Dick Cook, Disney, duck hunting, Future of Television, Haim Saban, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Military helilcopter, Prom Queen, Robert Iger, Samhas7friends, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the Chairman's Blog, Tornante Company, Veoh, Vuguru

All For Nots, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Dick Cook, Disney, duck hunting, Future of Television, Haim Saban, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Military helilcopter, Prom Queen, Robert Iger, Samhas7friends, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the Chairman's Blog, Tornante Company, Veoh, Vuguru, Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah WinfreyGood afternoon.

I have just returned safely from one of the weirdest fucked up days I’ve had in a long time (and I’ve had quite a few fucked up days lately).

On Monday night, I received a call from my old pal and competitor Michael Eisner (M.E.) who, as you know, used to be the Chairman & CEO of Disney before (as he says it) “being released into the wild by the Board of Directors to fend for himself”. 

M.E. wanted to pick me up at 3:00 a.m. by helicopter and take me to one of the private duck hunting ponds he owns in northern California to do some hunting and talk about The Future of Television.

I explained that normally I would jump at that opportunity (I had never been duck hunting in my life) but I had Sumner Redstone staying at my house and he was not in the best emotional state (because he’s almost broke).

After a few moments of back-and-forth negotiations with M.E., it was settled that I would be picked up at 2:00 a.m. and I was to turn Sumner Redstone out into the street.  (Michael Eisner is a master negotiator.)

At 2:00 a.m., M.E. arrived right on time, his massive military-style helicopter landing on my Great Lawn.  The fucker didn’t seem to care that I had recently had a million dollar landscaping job completed.

He was dressed in combat fatigues with his face painted green and brown and brandishing two 12-gauge shotguns.  I was dressed in gym shorts, t-shirt and tennis shoes.  I wasn’t aware there was a costume for duck hunting.

M.E.:  Are you fucking kidding me, Khan?  Seriously, what the fuck is your problem?  What are you wearing?  Do you have your own gun or do you need to rent one from me?

I explained that I have never been duck hunting and didn’t realize there were special clothes.

M.E.:  To kill a duck, you have to think like a duck.  Capisce?

I wouldn’t think a duck would want to wear those clothes or that make-up.  But I played along and found an old Army General’s uniform that my dad (Harry Manka) used to wear around the Manka Bros. studio lot to intimate talent.

I put that on and smeared my face with camouflage make-up that M.E. had with him.  I would have to rent a duck-shooting-gun from M.E. as the only weapons in my house were controlled by my security team.

All For Nots, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Dick Cook, Disney, duck hunting, Future of Television, Haim Saban, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Military helilcopter, Prom Queen, Robert Iger, Samhas7friends, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the Chairman's Blog, Tornante Company, Veoh, Vuguru, Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah WinfreyFlying low over the southern California mountains, M.E. leaned out of the chopper observing the pre-dawn movements of the San Fernando Valley like he was in the jungles of Vietnam.  He held this position and didn’t speak for the approximate two hour flight to a remote area south of Sacramento.

Suddenly, through a mist, a giant pond appeared with large reeds sprouting out of it.  M.E. looked up and gave me a wink.

M.E.:  (pointing down) Quack-gri-la – we’re home.

The chopper landed and several very serious handlers came out to greet us – all dressed in military fatigues and wearing ridiculous duck-shooting hats with ear flaps.

M.E.:  I’m going to take a couple of minutes to let my balls stop vibrating, then I’ll meet you in “the blind”.

Apparently, he meant “duck blind”… and I didn’t know what that was – but I was soon to find out.

And I was soon to get into a very interesting discussion on The Future of Television (which was quite different from my discussion on The Future of Media with Bob Iger M.E.’s successor at Disney).

But now, I’m worn out.  So I’ll get into all that tomorrow.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company