First of all, I am not a television critic. I am a critic of the television industry – but not really on the content itself.
That said, last week, while at a Manka Bros. corporate retreat, I actually sat and watched a full episode of “The X Factor” – and it was terrible.
Seriously, this is a really bad, over-produced mess.
A massive train wreck.
I can see now why the ratings have been just “okay” (considering the enormous pre-season expectations).
I thought this was going to be a huge show and even killed “American Idol” last year after it was announced that Simon Cowell was leaving (to ultimately start “The X Factor”).
I will admit now, my killing of “American Idol” was wrong. That show is alive and surprisingly well after more than a decade.
That’s more than I can say for “The X Factor”.
From what I saw (to be fair – on my one viewing), this show is complete disaster and won’t be alive two years from now (much less a decade). I know it was renewed for next year but I have a feeling that was part of the original deal (though they made a press announcement like it was a big surprise). Maybe there’s a chance this show could improve and grow into something – but I doubt it. There are too many problems.
The main advice I have for this show: Calm the fuck down.
Here are the key problems as I see it:
1) SIMON COWELL. The man who single-handedly turned “American Idol” into a must see phenomenon, is the biggest hindrance of his own show.
Why?
Because he has to DO stuff on this one. Not just sit in the chair, look disinterested, and throw out barbs that make America scream at the television. That was the biggest strength of “American Idol” – his laziness.
Now, he’s pitching products, reading off cue cards – it’s a disaster. He is so far out of his comfort zone that he has destroyed the one thing “The X Factor” has going for it – himself.
He needs to fire himself – simple as that.
2) THE OTHER JUDGES. No chemistry and embarrassing to watch – especially when they try to stir up some sort of controversy or generate angry banter.
The carefully choreographed verbal jabs between the judges is as convincing as a 6th Grade production of “Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?”.
Why is that?
Because we all know Simon hired all the judges (in almost a reality show of its own) and we know that Paula was sort desperate for this gig – so any little “fights” she has with Simon ring false.
On “American Idol” it worked a little better because they were all hired guns that negotiated separate deals. Simon negotiated all of “The X Factor” judges deals. He owns them which is why it doesn’t work.
3) THE TALENT. Is it just me, or does nearly every act in the Final 12 suck?
As I was watching them all perform, there were so many moments that took me out of the music – bad notes, awkward stage presence – so many moments that I yelled at the television: “These people are singing for $5 million bucks?!”
Maybe because there are so many singing competitions on TV these days the talent pool is getting shallow – but, to me, this is a pretty pathetic crop of finalists. Especially the children!
4) THE PRODUCT PLACEMENT. Good God, the product placement is completely out of control. Seriously. The Verizon X Factor App (or whatever)? And Simon introduces the Verizon App while drinking a Pepsi. It’s comical.
They are probably looking for ways to sponsor the sponsorships: “The Verizon App brought to you by Pepsi and Depends disposable adult diapers (so you don’t have to miss one second of “The X Factor” – just go in your pants!).”
5) THE PRODUCTION VALUES. What in the Hell is up with that set design? These crappy singers are singing in a pinball machine from 1986. The lights and the moving panels and the smoke and mirrors and lasers.
What the fuck?
We all know whoever wins is going to be singing at County Fairs with Kellie Pickler this summer. The sets there will be bales of hay and deep-fried bacon machines. Just calm the fuck down.
Plus, there are those power “X Factor” dancers that gyrate around these poor contestants as they try to make it through “Moon River” without their voice cracking.
On “American Idol”, Simon always used to emphasize that it was a “singing competition”.
He could obviously care less about that now.
Other than that, it’s a pretty awesome show. Fox has done it again!
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea
There are people watching this show??? Really??
That guy who messed up the lip synching probably found a dead rabbit in his car on the way home and a warning from the Fox goons, “don’t fuck with our franchise, loser.’ Guaranteed that guy doesn’t win the 5 million.
I’m with you, Jill. I wanted to really like this show. I just sort of wanted it to be American Idol with Simon. And it’s just not even close to that. It is completely forced. A total mess, yes, I agree. It does feel like Simon cares too much. That’s weird to say but true.
Yep, Molly – I thought for sure this was the home run of the fall season. Who would have thought Two Broke Girls would be the #1 new show?
I think Josh who you have pictured is really talented. So i gon’t agree with you at all! he just has a slight alcohol and smoking problem that keeps him from singing at his best.
Paula seems a little more coherent than on AI. She also looks better so maybe she found the right combination of Diet Coke and narcotics.
If it wasnt for the $5 mill grand prize there wouldn’t be any ssupense at all. The contestants are probably more devasated that they won’t get the money than if they became a sucessful pop singer.
Siriusly they dont even let contestants have cocaine binges or rock star sex. Fuck them.
sorry jill – but I love the show!!!!!….but…i wish the audience would be quiet when the judges are speaking….very annoying!!!!!! they scream and yell after the contestant sings…then.they should…SHUT UP…very rude!!!!!!! the producers should hold up a sign….”please be quiet”…. would love to really hear what the judges are saying …and the boo-ing….really???? necessary?????? no…thats also rude!!!!!!!!! the judges are the experts not you ********
Alls I got to say is that “Astro” sucks! How did he make it this far?
I could not agree more. Piece of shit show.
I agree with you for the most part. I am basically just watching it for Josh. I think the judges (mainly LA and Simon) are being extra mean to the contestants to help give their own a leg up.
And LA, when he doesn’t have anything intelligent to say, complains about the song style or choice! All he cares about is winning rather than discovering new talent!
And the distracting background dancers…uugh.
I agree completely…
This show sucks soooo bad!!!
I had high hopes that it would replace AI, but wow!!!
The only great voice on the show is Josh, the remainder of the “talent” wouldn’t make it to Hollywood on AI…..
LA Reid is so annoying, I want to just kick his ass!!! Him and his idiotic hip-hop rap bias!!!
I actually tried again to watch a few minutes of the show, but I had to keep changing the channel as the performances were so bad and the judges so annoying (with the exception of Josh)… I changed the channel for good when that kid astro came on.. That was a rock and roll performance??? Really???
Ok,this may be a bit long, but I have some major gripes about a show I was really looking forward to. Many have the same gripes it looks like. 1st up I would like to know if there is a place to sign a petition to Get Rid Of The Host! He is HORRIBLE, and I honestly tape the show because I can fast forward him as much as possible, I would gladly watch commercials if they would dump him, but I ain’t watching any commercials as long as he stays on. #2. LA! I thought I was going to like him, but his contradictions and constant interruptions of the other judges is getting to the same territory of dislike as the host. #3. The production is so far over the top that it DROWNS out the voices of the contestants, and since they are not stars yet, we must be able to hear their voice to judge and vote for them, so hopefully they will become one. It’s so bad that it makes me think they are lip syncing at times and I find myself trying to catch them at it, instead of enjoying the show. That’s SAD. The best thing this show does, is make me miss American Idol, and makes me appreciate Ryan Seacrest (I never thought I would say that LOL) in fact Seacrest is probably laughing up a storm at the idiocy of Steve Jones. And last but not least, I believe Simon has hurt his image as a brilliant mind in this industry, too many stupid things going on here Simon.. Please fix this mess, or I and many others will never watch this show again after this season, or even before this one ends…
“The production is so far over the top that it DROWNS out the voices of the contestants, and since they are not stars yet, we must be able to hear their voice to judge and vote for them, so hopefully they will become one.”
YES! I agree.
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“It’s so bad that it makes me think they are lip syncing at times and I find myself trying to catch them at it, instead of enjoying the show. ”
Me too! And I swear I haven’t found small snippets of inconsistencies between their voice and their lips. Nothing you can take to youtube or anything. Also, I noticed, the more likely the contestant is to be lip synching (because of lacking of singing talent), the less camera focus they give to the singers face.
Melanie has a real voice, so they show lots of facial close ups. But with Marcus or Chris, they usually avoid facial closeups.
Also can’t distinguish between groups and the background singers, particularly Lakoda Rain. They sometimes sound like they have 10 singers singing. The only time you can distinguish is when they are singing out of tune!
They should not allow group performers to have additional background singers. There is no need. That is what the non leading singers in the group are supposed to be doing.
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“And last but not least, I believe Simon has hurt his image as a brilliant mind in this industry, too many stupid things going on here Simon.”
YES! I agree.
“if there is a place to sign a petition to Get Rid Of The Host! He is HORRIBLE”
I don’t agree here. He certainly isn’t as good as Seacrest. He is definitely mediocre. However, I don’t hate the guy. A nice guy in a new country with bickering judges. He looks stressed and in over his head.
Above, I wrote:
I swear I haven’t found small snippets of inconsistencies
when I meant:
I swear I HAVE found small snippets of inconsistencies
Hey Schmoe,
Great post – I COMPLETELY agree about your point on Lakoda Rayne. That was soooo strange that they had backup singers – and you could tell the backup singers were professionals and in tune and Lakoda Rayne were horrible out of tune at certain points. And THEY’RE the ones competed for $5 million. Can’t we have a petition for the backup singers to get the $5 million? Totally ridiculous. I sort of felt a little bad after writing this blog a week ago – but now after several follow up episodes – it’s more true than ever. It’s a really terrible show! And they really don’t seem to care. Crazy!
Aside from all the problems mentioned, which I totally agree with, a problem I see is that the “rules” of the show seem to contradict themselves. I, too, have been comparing X Factor to American Idol, because I liked the idea of Simon and Paula being reunited at the judges’ table. But on X Factor, the whole deal with each judge being a “mentor” to a category of contestants doesn’t really work. It obviously makes the judges biased, so half the time you don’t know if their criticism is sincere or a tactic to try and influence viewers to vote for “their” contestants.
Also, it seems like they can’t decide whether they want themed nights or not. The first one or two of the live shows didn’t have themes, but all of a sudden it’s rock week, and only one contestant’s song sounds anything like rock. The show and SImon in particular always seem to promote the contestants performing songs that are like what they might do as recording artists, but at the same time they’re expected (sometimes) to adhere to a genre that is probably NOT their niche.
From eliminating the most talented contestant then bringing her back (I’m still not buying that Simon REALLY eliminated Melanie, and if he did, THAT is what took away any credibility or expertise he had) to making up groups of contestants that sucked too bad to make it individually (Lakoda Rayne is just awkward, and inTENsity, really??) to having an occasional theme, maintaining control over the results by having the contestants “sing for survival,” some contestants singing original songs while others have no choice in what they sing, etc., the “rules” of the show do not seem consistent or fair.
The most important changes that need to be made to the show before next season, though, are the replacements of ole Steve Jones (he makes me miss Seacrest too, something I also never thought I’d say) and Stacy Francis’s hairstylist/botox professional from Top 11 week. Her face from that night will haunt me forever.
Agree with every single point except the one about the talent. I’d encourage you to go on YouTube and scan through a few of the auditions and “Judges Homes” performances.
A few of these folks are actually fantastic singers, at least when allowed to stick with their preferred genre.
I really think the completely over-the-top productions drowns out the singers such that they can’t even hear themselves to keep their pitch. It’s is awful. The show is awful. some of the talent isn’t. Josh, Drew, Rachel, Stacey, and Melanie have given extraordinary performances when allowed to show their real stuff. Marcus and the ole’ feller (his name escapes) me show some promise as well.
I can only think, though, that the continuous, pandering milking of that trashcan Chris’ meth addiction and recovery is the sole reason that he keeps getting voted through. He’s a one-trick pony, and that one trick is a rather mediocre one. And, G8D, he is hard to look at. I suppose the meth didn’t help.
As for that little sh*tbag Astro, I know it’s wrong to hate a child, but I’d really like to repurpose that big ole fork that I’ll be using to carve my turkey, and just stab him in the throat with it. He is talented – he’s had moments of really good rapping, his rhythm and cadence can be quite impressive even if the lyrics are trite – but my G*d what a hateful little pr*ick. I’ve rarely been so irritated by a TV show contestant. Why why why is he still on the show?