First of all, I am not a television critic. I am a critic of the television industry – but not really on the content itself.
That said, last week, while at a Manka Bros. corporate retreat, I actually sat and watched a full episode of “The X Factor” – and it was terrible.
Seriously, this is a really bad, over-produced mess.
A massive train wreck.
I can see now why the ratings have been just “okay” (considering the enormous pre-season expectations).
I thought this was going to be a huge show and even killed “American Idol” last year after it was announced that Simon Cowell was leaving (to ultimately start “The X Factor”).
I will admit now, my killing of “American Idol” was wrong. That show is alive and surprisingly well after more than a decade.
That’s more than I can say for “The X Factor”.
From what I saw (to be fair – on my one viewing), this show is complete disaster and won’t be alive two years from now (much less a decade). I know it was renewed for next year but I have a feeling that was part of the original deal (though they made a press announcement like it was a big surprise). Maybe there’s a chance this show could improve and grow into something – but I doubt it. There are too many problems.
The main advice I have for this show: Calm the fuck down.
Here are the key problems as I see it:
1) SIMON COWELL. The man who single-handedly turned “American Idol” into a must see phenomenon, is the biggest hindrance of his own show.
Why?
Because he has to DO stuff on this one. Not just sit in the chair, look disinterested, and throw out barbs that make America scream at the television. That was the biggest strength of “American Idol” – his laziness.
Now, he’s pitching products, reading off cue cards – it’s a disaster. He is so far out of his comfort zone that he has destroyed the one thing “The X Factor” has going for it – himself.
He needs to fire himself – simple as that.
2) THE OTHER JUDGES. No chemistry and embarrassing to watch – especially when they try to stir up some sort of controversy or generate angry banter.
The carefully choreographed verbal jabs between the judges is as convincing as a 6th Grade production of “Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?”.
Why is that?
Because we all know Simon hired all the judges (in almost a reality show of its own) and we know that Paula was sort desperate for this gig – so any little “fights” she has with Simon ring false.
On “American Idol” it worked a little better because they were all hired guns that negotiated separate deals. Simon negotiated all of “The X Factor” judges deals. He owns them which is why it doesn’t work.
3) THE TALENT. Is it just me, or does nearly every act in the Final 12 suck?
As I was watching them all perform, there were so many moments that took me out of the music – bad notes, awkward stage presence – so many moments that I yelled at the television: “These people are singing for $5 million bucks?!”
Maybe because there are so many singing competitions on TV these days the talent pool is getting shallow – but, to me, this is a pretty pathetic crop of finalists. Especially the children!
4) THE PRODUCT PLACEMENT. Good God, the product placement is completely out of control. Seriously. The Verizon X Factor App (or whatever)? And Simon introduces the Verizon App while drinking a Pepsi. It’s comical.
They are probably looking for ways to sponsor the sponsorships: “The Verizon App brought to you by Pepsi and Depends disposable adult diapers (so you don’t have to miss one second of “The X Factor” – just go in your pants!).”
5) THE PRODUCTION VALUES. What in the Hell is up with that set design? These crappy singers are singing in a pinball machine from 1986. The lights and the moving panels and the smoke and mirrors and lasers.
What the fuck?
We all know whoever wins is going to be singing at County Fairs with Kellie Pickler this summer. The sets there will be bales of hay and deep-fried bacon machines. Just calm the fuck down.
Plus, there are those power “X Factor” dancers that gyrate around these poor contestants as they try to make it through “Moon River” without their voice cracking.
On “American Idol”, Simon always used to emphasize that it was a “singing competition”.
He could obviously care less about that now.
Other than that, it’s a pretty awesome show. Fox has done it again!
Jill Kennedy – OnMedea
The only reason I gave “X” factor a chance was I wanted Simon (and Paula) to whip American Idol’s butt since AI decided to make their show a platform for “JayLow” to sell her perfume and songs and to push the “Latin” singers. But I was disappointed in the first few X shows and decided to give it a chance to warm up and get into gear knowing that singers get better and the competition forces a good show. That was my mistake – X factor premise was all wrong; they are not interested in great talent and excellent singers so therefore anything that followed was simply a show that forced producers to make the show tolerable in lieu of good singing (or worse; singers that do not get better each week). When LA complained about Drew singing the same style and then Ass-tro came out during rock week and sang rap, I knew that I was a sucker and the show had no intentions of competing against AI to find the best singers. Could you imagine Adam Lambert on X Factor – his talent would be wasted with LA saying to him each week (“That was really gooood, but you need to grow and step out).
Start with making sure the top 30 can actually sing (everything else is extra)
Reformat the show into a singing contest, not a production contest
Get rid of the host, Steve Jones. Forcing him to smile now looks like X got bad input that he always seemed mad or frustrated he isn’t getting as much focus as Seacrest gets. I say fire him and bring back Dunkleman!
Forget having mentors, looks too much like “The Voice” which I also hate. Instead, go back to normal judging so even LA might look like he know what he is talking about and will have more to say than “That was really really good, but….”
Get rid of all dancers, but keep Paula
Pepper spray anyone in the audience who yells out or claps during innapproriate times, which is, anything other than after the artist sings and the final judges say their thing
Don’t allow the judjjjesss (as Cat Deeley would say) pick who goes home, allow the lowest votes only. This is an old magician’s trick of determining your card by no matter what happens the judges can completely determine the outcome of their favorites instead of the viewers.
Quit putting the camera on Nicole Scherzinger when she is having her emotional moments (which means the camera will never be on her) where she is constantly trying to think of something profound to say or is in awe of her mentees.
Never allow singers to go out into the audience or behind the judges (to me, it is the same as when a singer stops singing and stretches out their arm with mic in hand so the audience can sing – don’t do it)
Instead of waiting 30-60 seconds of dead air time in between who stays and who goes home, and sitting through excruciating time where the judges are thinking about who should go home, spend it on finding good singers for next year.
If the host Steve Jones stays, and Nicole Schertzinger swipes his mic so she can say something profound, Like she did after LeRoy went home, allow Jones to clothes line her on national TV
Do not allow the judges to read anything for any reason.
Since Simon is out $5 million at the end of this debacle, go ahead and say who you want to win and begin selling their songs right away while you have a platform so you can start getting some of your money back.
During the phase where the judges pick the singers, make sure Julio Eglasias and his right arm next to his face are not invited back and make sure Simon sitting on his $20k outdoor perch looking like a Mesopotamia king who decides who “amuses him” is all placed back into the studio where it should be instead of a weird setting at the judge’s homes.
Make the show an American show instead of a European show (similar to America’s Got Talent)
I could easily keep going but here is the last one:
The X Factor is so bad that even Justin Guarini would not appear on it!
I personally jumped the shark and decided that I am only a viewer who may or may not watch and more likely not watch and next year probably not, when 2 rappers made it to the top 10 who obviously could not sing anything else. It’s like when a boogaloo or hip hop singer makes it to the top 10 “If You Think You Can Dance”
Simon could have beaten the Jennifer Lopez show if he wanted to and made it a better Idol show, but it is obvious during their production meetings they wanted to do the opposite. When they decided to not have good singers, the attention turned to how can we make it at least make it look good.
The whole notion of having the “X” factor is that it’s hard to define. I always say that a person with it has a “je ne sais quoi” about them. Usually people who are discovered or are working hard and smart at their craft and outshining everyone. The kind of people on a show like X-factor are performers who frankly, are more full of show, than full of any special X-factor. The X factor is hard to describe but you know it when you see it. And I don’t see it on the show.
Latin Idol-please send your ideas to Simon. You should get the $5 million for fixing his show. A masterpiece!
I couldn’t agree more. What a freakin train wreck! And it’s a train wreck I don’t want to watch but am still an idiot for watching.
Great article. You hit the nail on the head. There is so much wrong with this show, it takes more than one hammer!
OH… and that awful performance by Nicole Scherzinger last night??? OMG… if it had been the “sing for your life” comp, I would send her home and keep Rachel Crow.
How to fix the X factor
1. Cut stage production budget by 90%
2. Do not allow audience to scream during performances
3. Require judges to critique the performer, not each other
4. Do not have a groups category
5. Get a new host
6. Never allow obnoxious contestants to move to the next round
7. Encourage contestants to get to know each other
8. Get rid of the dancers
What is good about X factor
Most of the contestants (with exception of Astro) are talented singers, at least in their genre. And if the audience would shut up, all the epileptic fit enducing flashing lights would go away, and the distracting ‘sexy dancing people’ were gone, then we would be able to enjoy their talent.
Yes! Those are great suggestions and I couldn’t agree more. I’m sure the singers have a great deal of talent (and maybe I was a little harsh in my blog) – but with all those crazy distractions it would be hard for Justin Timberlake to perform well.
I don’t know WHY everyone on here is bashing Astro? He never said he was a SINGER! HE WAS A RAPPER FROM JUMP! AND A DAMN GOOD ONE!
I see the New York Times has agreed with you. Or perhaps, stolen from you:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/19/arts/television/x-factor-despite-itself-has-finalists-with-real-star-potential.html?ref=television
They definitely followed Jill’s lead on this one in my humble opinion. X-factor is there for shock value more than showcasing talent.
Damn liberal media. Whatever it takes to reinforce the point that this is a terrible show is okay by me. A lot of these shows get a pass – glad some are starting to see it for what it is… crap.
Malcolm Gladwell had a great explanation for people on these type of shows: the reason some of them don’t become the next coming of Madonna is because they didn’t have the fortitude she has to work that hard and that smart to be a living legend. They want the attention and are more apt to be the next Kim Kardashian.
I am just glad Cheryl Cole isn’t on it.
Agreed. The show would be even worse if Cheryl Cole was on it.
Cheryl Cole got famous for being on Pop Star or whatever show that was in the UK. The fact is, Girls Aloud covered alot of songs but we by no means a female version of the Beatles!
But X-Factor is NOT a singing competition…..yes you have to have the singing ability but it’s MORE about stardom….Simon isn’t necessarily looking for the next Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey….he’s looking for the next Beyonce or Nicki Minaj….Astro wasn’t even a singer….and Chris Rene couldn’t sing really either….I;m not saying I like all the over the top performances…some of them were so over the top I couldn’t tell what was going on on stage….but I’m not going to expect from X factor what I expect from American Idol. AI is about how many vocal runs you can do, and XF is about how well you entertain.
I know I’m a bit late to this party but here’s a bit of British perspective as we got to see the whole American series over here too.
The differences in format to AI had to be there for legal reasons. Simon Cowell got into a dispute with Simon Fuller (Idol) who claimed he’d just stolen his format. So now there’s some legal recognition that X Factor owes its roots to Idol but it has to take a different format. Hence the 4 categories, different age range, groups, production values and sing-off.
The groups category has always struggled in the UK and probably will in the US too. 8 years in, we’ve only just had our first group winner, Little Mix. They were put together from solo auditionees, a practice which has become increasingly used since series 4. Although singers chosen for this treatment are told at bootcamp they’ve been rejected as soloists, that’s just done for effect. Really they’ve been singled out as contestants who have promise but not enough “X Factor” to shine through on their own. Although the first few attempts at creating groups flopped, in the past 2 years we’ve had successes with Little Mix and One Direction (currently taking America by storm, I hear).
Steve, Paula and Nicole were all bad signings. I don’t know how much of an impact the Cheryl Cole sacking made in the States but over here it was seen as a big debacle and lost Simon a lot of public respect. The Steve Jones who presented X Factor was totally unrecognisable to me. Over here he’s flirtatious, funny and cheeky, nothing like the cheeseball he was turned into. The problem with Nicole and Paula was they were just too nice! Being an X Factor judge involves making tough decisions in the sing-off. You can’t just sit there and tell everyone they’re wonderful.
Having such a low age limit was a terrible idea. In the UK they’ve lowered it to 14 a couple of times but then put it back up to 16 the next year because it didn’t work. Simon seems a bit obsessed with finding the next Justin Bieber right now but, whether you like the lad or not, he’s a rarity for having his head so screwed on at his age. Astro, Drew and Rachel all reacted with high emotion to their rejection but that’s not their fault, they’re just kids reacting the way kids do. Very exploitative I thought.
In the UK we’ve grown to accept X Factor isn’t a serious talent search, it’s a showpiece weekend entertainment show. If contestants get chart hits out of it that’s a bonus, not a promise. We’ve had winners who’ve quickly gone back to obscurity and losers who’ve forged a good career in musical theatre. 11 series into AI, you’re used to these shows championing the best singing talent. X Factor is different. They’re after entertainers, not necessarily the best voices. Google Jedward. Just don’t complain to me when you do!
I think US reporters, press, media is useless as numerous accusations are coming only after a Columbia worker complained, were reporters not aware of these misconducts before Columbian complained! Media should know these types of fraud before hand not after Colombian complaint
Above post is related to Colombia Scandal
Yeah Lisel! Tell IT!
I watched the first two episodes of season 2.
Worst talent show ever and I don’t care about any of these people.
Back to The Voice
Mike
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