The Jay Leno Show – R.I.P.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris Endeavor

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorStop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message The Jay Leno Show is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

Jay at 10pm was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that show would last forever:  I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now:  put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W.H. Auden

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Yes, Ben Silverman and Jeff Zucker really changed the future of television.  Actually, no… they didn’t.  They didn’t at all.

After all the bravado and presentations.. all the parties and press conferences with claims of blowing up business models and television never being the same… what do we have left?  Jay Leno on The Tonight Show at 11:30 and scripted dramas at 10pm.

It’s now up to Ben Silverman’s Electus to change the world.  Come on, Ben, you can do it – put down the blonde and get to work.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

The Jay Leno Show Has Failed

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorBased on last night’s overnight ratings (September 30, 2009:  4.1/7), the above headline is what nearly every television production executive is screaming down the halls today (with the exception of those at NBC Universal.  They’re probably screaming something like… Will Comcast contribute to my 401K?  What happens to our stock options?, etc.).

Now, a 4.1/7 is a grand slam on The CW.  If every show on The CW got a 4.1/7, Dawn Ostroff (President) would be carried around on one of those Cleopatra-type chairs.  However, this is NBC and this is Jay Leno.  We’ve heard from stories past (lies in my opinion), that Jay only needs to “get a 1.5 rating (A18-49) to make $300 million a year for NBC”.  So a 4.1/7 is comfortably in that range – but still pathetic based on pre-season expectations.

However, there is a way that NBC can save face in the middle of this debacle.  They don’t even need to cancel The Jay Leno Show (why would you when you’re making that kind of bank?  I’m sure Comcast will do a complete audit in due-diligence – so one day we’ll know for sure).

Here’s what you do, NBC: BUY BILLBOARDS strategically-positioned around every major television production facility (as demonstrated below).  Every week, update the profit number of The Jay Leno Show and then put a tag at the bottom that reads something like:  “Hey TV Execs, how are your fall shows doing?  Throwing Off Any Cash?”

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorThis would bring home the fact that The Jay Leno Show HAS NOT FAILED.  It might just stop this town from obsessing over ratings and fucking market share.  Ask The Food Network about their profits?  I think they’ll tell you they’re doing just fine.  And when was the last time they got even a 1.0/3 share?  It means nothing.

But, NBC, you have lost the PR war and it’s time to fight back.  Forget trying to put TV stars from other networks on with JayJay is about movie stars and pop icons.  Fuck Julianna Margulies, Jay.  You don’t need her or her TV friends and complaining in the media about it makes you look like a pussy (even more so).

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – I have nothing against Julianna Margulies.  Big fan.  She’s just F-ed by example.

John Ferriter and The Jay Leno Show

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris Endeavor

So, earlier today, I said that Leno’s 4.5/8 share was a disaster for NBC and they should start to think about living in a post-Leno world.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorBut I was just made aware of a statement by John Ferriter (head of WME’s Non-Scripted Department) at the Producers Caucus Panel that all Jay Leno needed to get was a 1.5 share (A18-49) in order to make NBC $300 million.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Now by “make” I don’t know if he means revenue (which doesn’t make it a crazy statement) or profit (which makes it a crazy statement).  Either way – it’s bullshit and I don’t believe it.

If this was true, why wouldn’t every network do it?  Why wouldn’t Jeff Zucker be screaming it from the rooftops to Wall Street?  Gossip Girl gets a 1.5 rating and The CW doesn’t make shit.  I know… I know… it’s not apples-to-apples – but it’s still bullshit.

I started to wonder why John Ferriter would take such a bold stand and why does he really care?  Then I found the above picture of Mr. Ferriter with my old friend Ben Silverman in Vegas and it all made sense.

Seems to me Mr. Ferriter is just defending his friends’ crazy business model.  Ben has dated quite a few crazy business models in the past – but none so bold and insane as the one that makes $300 million for 1.5 rating.  Now that’s one hot model!

Why would NBC let such a genius get away?

So, according to my math, a 4.5/8 share should “make” NBC around $900 million.

Jesus Christ!  The Broadcast Network business is a great business!

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

OH NO – Jay Leno’s Ratings Last Night – 4.5/8

Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Deadline Hollywood, Grace Kelly, Gregorian Calendar, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., National Cream Filled Donut Day, NBC, NFL Monday Night Football, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The Jay Leno Show, thewrap.com, Tony Disanto

Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Deadline Hollywood, Grace Kelly, Gregorian Calendar, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., National Cream Filled Donut Day, NBC, NFL Monday Night Football, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The Jay Leno Show, thewrap.com, Tony DisantoSorry, Jay.  The competition is only going to get tougher (just wait until you hit first-run episodes of those Thursday night dramas).

I hate for you to fail.  You’re such a likable guy.  But I LOVE that Ben Silverman is failing (failing upwards, I suppose, but still failing!).

It’s a real conundrum.

Good luck tonight against CSI: NY on CBS and Eastwick on ABC. Okay, you might do fine against Eastwick – maybe even a 4.7/9 share!  Whoopee!

It may be time to get OctoMom and Kate Gosselin in some sort of a wresting match – because only stunts like that can help you now.

[Note to Angela Bromstad and Paul Telegdy at NBC: You may want to contact Dick Wolf to get some more Law & Order iterations going.  Also, call Peter Roth over at Warner Bros. to see how long it might take to rebuild the ER set.]

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

It’s Time To Kill The Emmys

61st Annual Emmy Awards, ABC, Angela Bromstad, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, CBS, Chris O'Donnell, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Don Mischer, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog, Family Guy, Fox, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Les Moonves, LL Cool J, Manka Bros., NBC, NCIS: Los Angeles, Neil Patrick Harris, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Sandy Grushow, Seth McFarlane, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, The Simpsons, thewrap.com

61st Annual Emmy Awards, ABC, Angela Bromstad, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, CBS, Chris O'Donnell, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Don Mischer, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog, Family Guy, Fox, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Les Moonves, LL Cool J, Manka Bros., NBC, NCIS: Los Angeles, Neil Patrick Harris, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Sandy Grushow, Seth McFarlane, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, The Simpsons, thewrap.comFrankly, no one gives a shit anymore.  Last night’s show was painful.

A tour of the set?  Seriously?  Matthew Weiner, creator of Mad Men, is unable to give an acceptance speech for winning Best Drama because there was a five minute TOUR OF THE SET at the beginning of the show?   “Where we will all be spending the next three plus hours!”

The opening number from the Academy Awards winning for Best Musical NumberBest Musical Number?

That painfully long Family Guy bit with the baby killing the dog (full disclosure – I’m a Simpson’s girl and think Family Guy sucks so I probably wouldn’t have liked even if it were short and funny).

There there was bit-after-painful-bit about the demise of television.  Television, the way it was in 1979 is dead – TELEVISION ISN’T DEAD!  What else are we supposed to do to pass the time on this miserable planet?  We like the internet, we like television, we like movies, we like going out to dinner, we like talking on the phone, we like working out, we like going to the park with our kids, we like going to Disneyland… just because we spend a few hours less watching TV doesn’t make it the end of the world!

I know there is a lot of insecurity in this town and a very strong need to give each other awards.  But would the programming change if there wasn’t Emmy Awards?  Are the actors from NCIS: Los Angeles relevant in any way?  Was an appearance by the Gossip Girls a way to reach out to 15 year olds?  As an experiment, Television Academy, why don’t you put next year’s awards on the Disney Channel and see how many young girls you get to watch… But that would never happen because the Emmys are much too prestigious for that.

I know the old white executives want it to be 1979 again when the television audience apparently actually cared if M*A*S*H would win or lose – but those days are gone.

It’s over.  Kill it already.  Every year it sucks and every year we watch.  Over half that crowd (i.e., the late night comedy show writers), wanted to be watching the Giants/Cowboys game on NBC.  Myself included.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea