Jill Kennedy – Page 6

October 28, 2010December 13, 2012

Fanboys Would Like Fat Peter Jackson To Direct “The Hobbit”

Dear Peter Jackson,

Please eat.

I’ve been speaking to some fanboys (and girls) and they would prefer that a fat Peter Jackson directs “The Hobbit” rather than the less creative skinny Peter Jackson.

With the Holidays coming up, there is plenty of opportunity for you to pack on at least 50 pounds before film production begins next year.

Based on the great sacrifice your country has made to make sure ‘The Hobbit’ is made in New Zealand, there is a lot at stake. The least you can do is have a few extra helpings of lasagna and eggnog to ensure that the finished product is more “Lord of the Rings” and less “Lovely Bones”.

Craft Services is your friend – less salad and more empty calories, please (Red Vines and donuts are good). And alcohol. Lots of alcohol.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 21, 2010April 3, 2011

Juan Williams Had TWO JOBS!

Remember, whichever side you are on in this debate, Juan Williams had TWO JOBS during the worst economy since the Great Depression when so many people out there can’t even get ONE JOB.

I think it was good of NPR to fire Juan Williams if only for the simple fact that they can now hire an out of work Political Commentator who can get off the public dole.

Interesting that Fox News would reward a guy with a $2 million dollar contract who basically said that Muslims who are dressed as their religion requires(!!) make him nervous on an airplane.

Juan Williams perfectly fits the mold of the “Fox News Liberal”.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 8, 2010April 11, 2011

Digg – R.I.P.

Lesson #1: If Google offers you $200 million for a business that has no real focus or vision – TAKE IT.

Lesson #2: If the due diligence doesn’t back up a $200 million valuation and someone else offers you $80 million – TAKE IT.

Lesson #3: If you ignore Lessons #1 and #2 and decide to redesign your very popular (but unprofitable) website – MAKE SURE IT DOESN’T SUCK.

Lesson #4: If the redesign of the website sucks and the entire world complains – DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Lesson #5: If Lesson #4 is ignored and senior management continues to party like its 2006, YOUR COMPANY IS DYING.

Lesson #6: If your company is dying and you don’t have the cure, LET IT DIE WITH DIGNITY AND START OVER.

I’m afraid we’re at Lesson #6.

DIGG IS DEAD – R.I.P.

If only the Business Week cover from 2006 were true.

While many of the employees of Digg will find it difficult to start over, the founders and senior management team probably will not. Especially Kevin Rose, who is an early investor in Twitter and Zynga. So don’t cry for dude. Dude is fine.

Now I’ve Dugg many stories over the years – mostly an endless link-fest of Slide Shows and Superhero complaints – but it’s time to move on.

I suppose I’ll just have to “Like” instead of “Digg” (until Facebook becomes worthless – and they are on that path!). After that, I’ll probably have to “Shout Out” or “Yeah, Baby” or whatever other little button some company wants me to click whenever I like the new taste of Coke Zero.

“Digg” was cool and nobody can take 2006-2008 away from you guys. That was your time!

So long Kevin, Matt and Jay – who cares if you’re not Billionaires? Remember, Millionaires can still get chicks and buy drinks at any bar in the world.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 1, 2010April 21, 2011

Say It Ain’t So, Tony DiSanto

Seriously? Is this the guy you want to work for? Ugh.

Oh, well… It’s just a shame.

Tony, you have a reputation for being one of the good guys in Hollywood and you’re going to work for Ben Silverman?

Come on, man!

I’m on-board with you wanting to leave MTV and get back to your real passion – being a content producer.

I’m on-board with the company name – DiGa. Di (Santo) and Ga (for partner Liz Gately). DiGa. I’m sure there is also some foreign word that it translates to that gives it another dimension.

What I’m not on-board with is you partnering with Electus.

Every studio in town would most likely want to make a deal with you guys and now you’re stuck going to Holiday parties with Ben Silverman and Ricky Van Veen?

You’re better than that, Tony!

Now, most people who read this blog regularly know that I haven’t been too kind to Mr. Silverman over the past year or so (several examples are listed below)…

Example A; Example B; Example C; Example D; Example E; Example F; Example G; Example H; Example I; Example J; Example K; Example L; Example M; Example N

… but, Tony, you’re being way too nice here. You’re actually giving Ben a hint of credibility. Credibility that he doesn’t deserve.

However, maybe it’s not over.

Perhaps something can be done to stop it… something like Howard Beale in “Network” screaming to “Stop the CCA Deal now!” (fyi, the fictional Saudi Arabian deal with CCA – the parent company of fictional TV network UBS).

If enough people actually care, we could mobilize and march on Electus Headquarters (which I believe is the Wynn Resort Las Vegas) screaming over and over: STOP THE DIGA / ELECTUS DEAL NOW! STOP THE DIGA / ELECTUS DEAL NOW!

Ah, nevermind. Good luck, Tony.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 23, 2010April 12, 2011

More BS (I Mean Wisdom) From Ben Silverman

Ben Silverman needs to eat. Wild eyed and gulag skinny, Ben took the stage at Sharon Waxman’s “The Grill” (can’t wait to blog about that some day) and continued to tell people he is changing the world.

“I’m not 21 and still in my dorm room, but I think this company has an opportunity to be an enormous company in terms of its profitability. I’ll measure success in terms of impacting the audience, empowering storytelling and making dough.”

That must be so encouraging to Barry Diller. I’m sure he’s licking his chops anticipating those Electus profits. Seriously, where do I sign up? How can I invest? Ben is so focused on making money it doesn’t look like he’s slept a wink or ate a meal in months. I mean, look at him – all disheveled and greasy – that’s the face of success.

The Hollywood lifestyle has really done wonders for him. I need to find out what multivitamin he takes.

From what I gather, here’s what we can look forward to from Ben Silverman and Electus:

“Pedro & Maria” (MTV) brought to you by Proctor & Gamble. Because nothing says Hispanic like Proctor & Gamble. The show is basically a Romeo & Juliet remake (but waaaay cooler than Shakespeare with much better music). I’ll be looking out for a scene in a laundromat where Pedro or Maria are washing clothes with P&G’s All-New Gain detergent with Stain Buster 4X. Or worse, one will text the other “Can U p/u some PROCTOR & GAMBLE GAIN DETERGENT 4 me?”

“Master of the Mix” (MTV) brought to you by Smirnoff Vodka. A reality show DJ competition. Because only the best DJs drink Smirnoff. And, remember, it takes a lot of Smirnoff to become a great DJ.

Shows unlike any we’ve ever seen. Great stuff, Ben.

And these series perfectly embody the Electus manifesto: “Allowing Content Creators and Branding Partners To Reach Audiences Like Never Before”. Because how else is MTV going to reach an audience? Through its massive global reach and international marketing organization? Unlikely.

And there is obviously a lot more to come from Electus. Ben continued: “We have relationships on a profound level with the A-list storytelling matrix in Hollywood and NYC. Our goal is to win Golden Globes.”

Lofty goals indeed, Ben. But, why the fuck not?! Greatness like this only comes around once every million years or so.

So shoot for the moon, Ben, and even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 15, 2010April 3, 2011

Facebook To Reach 7.3 Billion Users By 2015

OK, it’s September. The power players in the media world have completed their ‘summering’ and can now return to the passion of their lives – ridding the world of boredom and malaise by producing films, TV shows, games and websites. So… it’s great to be back.

The title of this blog is truly remarkable and, frankly, bullshit.

I received the chart to the left from a friend of mine at Facebook (which was pulled from a recent management presentation).

Takeaway: The number of Facebook users by 2015 will EXCEED THE EARTH’S POPULATION.

Sounds impossible I know. But I suppose nothing is impossible when it comes to Facebook. Because at Facebook it’s not “Impossible”, it’s “I’m Possible”.

A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog titled “Facebook Is Worthless”. I stand by the arguments in that blog (even though I received the wrath of many a Facebook insider who doesn’t want to see the value of their stock options go down) because, no matter what Facebook senior management tries to tell the press, no one seriously believes they are profitable. I believe the real numbers would freak too many people out who are praying for an IPO in the near future.

Just because everyone is on it doesn’t mean the future is bright. Just look at the AOL and Microsoft monopolies in the 1990s.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

August 26, 2010April 26, 2011

Leo Laporte Gets It

… Ben Silverman doesn’t. He really thinks he gets it but we know he doesn’t – and I seriously doubt Mob Wives will get him to the Promise Land of creating a next generation media business model.

But LEO LAPORTE (founder and chief guru of twit.tv – or This Week In Technology) GETS IT!

Please watch this 40 minute speech (which I previously posted in October 2009 – but I think deserves a second look) he gave to the Online News Association and you’ll see what I mean.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

August 1, 2010April 12, 2011

Electus – Starring Ben Silverman

Apparently there is a new movie coming out called “Electus” and it looks like it stars Ben Silverman.

This afternoon, I thought I would do a little checking up on Ben’s $100 million dollar company and discovered that, unlike the way the website looked a month ago, there is actually some content now.

Content starring Ben Silverman.

The content is a $100 million dollar sizzle reel with flying headlines glorifying the accomplishments of… Ben Silverman.

I stared at the video, with its horrible techno-pop / Eurotrash soundtrack (though fitting), in amazement. Is this what revolution looks like?

I then went to the other page (yes, there is one other page on the site, you can’t expect too much in one year) and discovered a chart.

A chart that even a freakin’ moron can understand.

How can something that looks so simple (so elegant) and so “old media” change the world in such a profound way?

I’m still trying to process how great it all is.

I’m seriously at a loss for words.

There is only one person on the planet that knows what the future of media looks like. His name is Ben Silverman but he can’t talk right now – he has an early morning call on the set of another sizzle reel he is starring in titled “Managing Expectations”.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

July 1, 2010July 26, 2012

Facebook Is Worthless

MORE RECENT FACEBOOK POSTS:

Should We Believe Facebook’s Earnings?

Facebook and the Disappearing Valuation (A Fairy Tale)

Facebook Must Be Stopped

Advertise On Facebook – Reach More People Than 10 Super Bowls!

Facebook To Reach 7.3 Billion Users By 2015

————

Original Post (Facebook Is Worthless):

Salacious headline? Yes. True? Also yes.

This is not a slam against the EXTREME popularity and unprecedented GROWTH story that is Facebook. This is a reality check of an unsustainable business model.

Much like a homeowner who can no longer afford an overinflated house purchased during the height of the bubble and decides to walk away, Facebook (with claims that it will hit ONE BILLION users in the not too distant future) has given it all away for free for far to long to change.

But change it must or Facebook Is Worthless.

Imagine the cable networks at their inception (especially premium channels like HBO) giving the channel to anyone for free at the beginning and then trying to convince customers to pay down the line. It’s a daunting task. One that Hulu is going through now – but they made the hard decision, and even though traffic and video streams will certainly fall, it will soon be profitable because it wasn’t too late to right the ship.

Imagine Disney/Pixar putting out Toy Story 3 for free in theaters and trying to make up their costs by throwing up billboards along the walls. What kind of idiot would do that? It would never be considered.

People love (and some actually depend on) Facebook, but it is too late to right the ship – and not just because no one cares or pays any attention to the banner ads that are thrown up against everyone’s status updates. It’s because people are starting to get really bored with it.

There are some late adapters that are still in the ecstasy phase of seeing their old high school friends as they look today (Facebook has ruined surprise factor of high school reunions forever, but I digress), but for the most part – at least in my case – most of my Facebook friends have stopped participating. They will pop on once a day or so just to see if anyone has posted any new drunken pictures or family photos of the new baby, but that’s about it.

My Facebook experience now is basically the same five people posting the same boring crap.

The Bored Office Worker who posts about “needing coffee” – and “can’t wait for Happy Hour!”

The Super Mom who claims every morning – “Went to 8 museums adn made banana bread all before 10am! My kids are awesome and sooooo funny!”

The Quoter who searches quotation websites looking for some daily affirmation that will get about 15 “Likes” and a few “I’m going to use that!” replies.

The Reviewer who writes stuff like “Smoke Monster? Shit Monster if you ask me!”

The Pissed Off Traveler with daily pearls like “10 hours on the tarmac!” and “Yet another delay, thank you American Airlines!”

And that’s about it. Every day, the same five people and I have over 300 Facebook friends (even though I only see about three friends actually in person in any given month).

The valuation on Facebook is so high that no one could possibly acquire it now (not even my employer, the insanely deep-pocketed Manka Bros. Studios) especially considering there is really no monetary growth story.

As it becomes more of a digital dumping ground, costs continue to rise. It has peaked as a global fascination. Check the value of Bebo, Myspace, Friendster, etc. and you’ll see the future of Facebook. Even though Mark Zuckerberg claims he’s different than all the others.

So here’s what Facebook needs to do – start charging every current or new user $0.99/month. Just ninety-nine cents per user per month to use all the features they currently use. New services may make it possible to bump that up to a premium fee down the line.

Millions will leave and start some “Facebook Should Be Free” movement, but other millions (like my five daily posters who feel they need to be heard) will definitely pay. Because $0.99 is nothing. It’s the purchase price of a pig on Farmville. There will still be advertising and cross-promotional opportunities and corporate sponsorships, etc. – multi revenue streams.

But the free culture has to change or Facebook is Worthless.

Deep down, at least to me, this seems to be the reason the IPO hasn’t happened. Zuckerberg says he’s not interested and will delay the IPO as long as possible. Yeah, because it’s a $15 billion company (so they say) with costs that exceed revenue – and no signs of that ever changing.

I wouldn’t be interested in an IPO either.

Someone enlighten me and correct my ignorance.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

June 30, 2010April 4, 2011

10 Slideshows You Must See RIGHT NOW!

OK, online media publishers – enough with the freakin’ slideshows! They’re nothing but a waste of time to those who click through all those pages of The World’s Top 10 Shellfish and the Best Tasting Fruits You’ve Never Tasted. What’s the real reason for these time suckages? Page views and ad impressions – the life force of online media (yes, I admit, my humble blog also depends on these metrics). And what’s the best way to rack up page views and ad impressions? Slideshows with one image and, on average, three ads per page. Multiply that by the Top 50 Female Insurance Industry Executives – and you get the idea.

But you didn’t come to this page for my rant against Slideshows – you came to see 10 SLIDESHOWS YOU MUST SEE RIGHT NOW! Let’s get to it! (Note: I have mercifully avoided the obvious and did not put this in Slideshow format.)

10 Unbelievable, Unlikely Animal Friendships

What Booze Looks Like Under A Microscope