Khan Manka – Page 14

November 19, 2009April 21, 2011

Notional – R.I.P.

The revolution is over… and what a crappy revolution it was.

Notional – the only company to ever come up with the idea for a dating show in a taxi; a competitive cooking show; a home makeover show; as well as several shitty internet game shows in development including “Ready, Set, Dance”, “You vs. America” and “Chase the Money” – is dead.

Yes, I realize Notional hasn’t got up on its feet yet – but, based on the announcement of the “slate” today, Notional IS creatively dead. Physically, they’re still on life support and won’t be dead until 2011 or so (thus the tombstone – thanks, R).

Oh, well. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what content visionary (and current Notional CEO) Ricky Van Veen will think up next. Hopefully something that will have the same forward-thinking press release that mentions words like “revolutionary” and “ground-breaking.”

I must apologize to Barry Diller and all IAC shareholders for killing off his two latest content creation ventures before they really got started – (I killed Ben Silverman’s cure for what has been a cancer of bad content and business models on the internet, Electus, a couple of weeks ago… also before the launch) – but it had to be done.

Come on, Ricky, freakin’ internet game shows? Who gives a shit? You were so clever until you started spending Barry Diller’s money. What does he get for making you rich? You… trying to make him poor.

The only show you could produce that could possibly work is you and your new best friend Ben Silverman going out every night and partying your brains out then putting your escapades up on the internet for everyone to see. You could actually erect the elusive paywall on that one. Just imagine it… you, Ben and hot chicks in bars… X-rated.

THAT is programming only you guys can do in just the right pathetic way. And THAT is your only competitive advantage.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 17, 2009April 22, 2011

Meredith Whitney Is Wrong

Alley Insider, allthingsd, Ari Emanuel, Benjamin Swinburne, BMO Capital, Bulgarian Proverb, CNBC, Credit Suisse, David Blaine, Deadline Hollywood, Dom Perignon, Earnings Report, Erin Burnett, Femme Aux Bras Croises, Glenn Vogelman, Goldman Sachs, Greycroft Partners, Henry Blodget, Ian Sigalow, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Logsdon, Jessica Reif Cohen, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Lehman Brothers, Manka Bros., Maria Bartiromo, Meredith Whitney, Meredith Whitney Advisory Group, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Oppenheimer & Co., Picasso, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Silicon Alley Insider, Spencer Wang, Terry Semel, Uri Geller, Vijay Jayant, World's Largest Media Company, Yahoo!

Meredith Whitney has been right in the past.

Meredith Whitney has been wrong in the past.

Meredith Whitney will be right about some things in the future.

And Meredith Whitney will be very wrong about some things the future.

The point?

Meredith Whitney doesn’t know shit about the future. Meredith Whitney doesn’t know shit about what the world will be like in the future. David Blaine doesn’t know what the world will be like in the future. Or Uri Geller or Sarah Michelle Gellar. NOBODY knows about the future!

When Meredith Whitney goes on CNBC with the Money Honey (Maria Bartiromo) and throws bombs while yelling fire at a stock market and overall economy that is struggling, what good does it do?

I’m not saying she should pull her punches if she seriously thinks a double-dip recession is inevitable. I’m just saying… she has no idea if a double-dip recession is inevitable. Nobody does. Much like the pundits who say the market is going to 15,000.

I understand Meredith Whitney has to be salacious to back up that rebel, bad girl photo on the front of the website (and above) for her company. “What will that renegade MW say this time? Get ready to sell sell sell!”

But now, Meredith, you are, once again, in the unenviable position of rooting against the American economy – desperately hoping to be right to uphold your “reputation” and secretly wishing the worst so that you can say on CNBC in the spring “Well, I called it last November, Maria.”

Even though you know… you don’t really know.

I don’t care about your precious math and underlying fundamentals, Meredith, and all the bullshit numbers you’ll throw out to back up whatever you’re trying to say – just admit that nobody knows nothing.

Not even a woman with a zebra on her wall.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 13, 2009April 22, 2011

The TV.com Awards?

I received an email this morning from a friend who said: “Jill, OMG, you have to click on this link and vote for my show!”

“Vote for what?”, I said.

“The Best Of 2009 TV.com Awards! My show was nominated!”

Are you fucking kidding me? The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards? What? What I mean say is… huh? The fuck?

I was wondering why everyone here at Manka Bros. is running around so excited. I thought it was because it is Friday – but no, IT’S BECAUSE THE BEST OF 2009 TV.COM NOMINATIONS ARE OUT! (And this is not to be confused with the 2009 TV.com Awards which were announced a month or so ago – I think.)

I am soooo nervous. Will “30 Rock” finally break out and beat “The Big Bang Theory” for their first ever Best of 2009 TV.com Award? Will “The Big Bang Theory” finally emerge from its “Two and a Half Men” shadow and beat “30 Rock” to win their first ever Best of 2009 TV.com Award?

Actually, everyone who wins will win their very first Best Of 2009 TV.com Award. Because this is the first year of the Best of 2009 TV.com Awards!

Seriously, this town has got to stop giving out meaningless awards. I know we thrive on it and need these awards desperately to boost our egos (even more) but enough is enough. As a multi-year winner of the BLOGGY for Best General Media Blog, I know how it feels to have your name called. But we really need to stop it.

Woody Allen said it best in “Annie Hall“: “What’s with all these awards? They’re always giving out awards. Best Fascist Dictator: Adolf Hitler.”

And I have certain questions for the people at TV.com (owned by CBS). Have they only nominated shows from companies that have agreed to license their content to TV.com? Are any shows nominated that can only be found on competitor site Hulu.com, for instance? It makes you question the legitimacy of The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards.

However, the lawyers and executives at CBS don’t have to worry. I’m not going to poke around too much, because I really don’t care. I just wanted you all to know that, if I had to, I could blow the lid off this scandal and bring down The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards!

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 9, 2009April 22, 2011

Attention FoxPop and All Other Home Entertainment Groups

STOP DOING SHIT! Just stop it. People have already lost their ability to focus on any one particular thing and you want to “FoxPopize” your movies?

Let me explain. 20th Century Fox (that name is truly fitting in this case) is debuting a new service called FoxPop on the upcoming Blu-ray and DVD release of “Night At The Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian”. While a viewer is watching this horrible film, FoxPop will send out “a constant barrage of facts, photos, games and trivia questions related to the movie” to the user’s Mac, PC or iPhone.

Who gives a fucking shit?!

Do the execs at Fox Home Entertainment really think the consumer’s viewing experience will be enhanced and they will, in turn, embrace and save the dying DVD business by buzzing someone’s iPhone when T.rex appears on screen and asking “how many bones does this dino have?” Most people barely have time to watch one movie a month and you’re trying to waste more of their time!

It’s obvious Fox has quite a bit of extra money lying around to be able to attempt this lame exercise. But I beg you… please stop with all the bullshit and put your money where it really needs to go: Digital downloading technology, consumer education about digital downloading and digital downloading implementation.

That’s the future – not a zapping an iPhone to tell us how many hair follicles Ben Stiller has on his head.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 27, 2009April 25, 2011

Electus – R.I.P.

I realize that Electus – the earth-shattering, ground-breaking, cutting-edge new business from Ben Silverman and Barry Diller’s IAC/ InterActiveCorp hasn’t launched, but I have recently climbed aboard Khan Manka, Jr.’s Time Machine and gone into the not-too-distant future to retrieve the press release announcing (sadly) the company’s closure. Sorry, Ben.

———————————————–
From the Associated Press (July 2011):

Electus, the $100 million start-up from media wunderkind Ben Silverman has decided to close its doors effective immediately after only 18 months in business. 875 staffers (mostly low-level hot chicks in their 20s who ran errands and stuff) were expected to lose their jobs. The highly-touted venture only managed to produce one original internet series – a show about bed-hopping young flight attendants based at O’Hare International Airport called “The Hub”.

Electus, announced by Mr. Silverman with much fanfare in July 2009 (after a completely disastrous run as Co-Chairman of NBC Entertainment), was supposed to change the entertainment landscape with the unoriginal idea of marrying advertising, content and distribution in a new media world.

Mr. Silverman was unavailable for comment but released a statement through his representatives: “I am proud of my accomplishments at Electus. Even though $100 million doesn’t go as far as it used to, I still changed the world! No one has even come close to doing what I did because nobody had the balls. What a ride! Maybe people just aren’t ready for forward-thinking.”

Mr. Diller was available for comment and simply said about Silverman: “Fuck that guy.”

But don’t worry about Ben. He has landed on his feet and will continue his Quixotic quest to monetize online content from his penthouse suite at The Palms Hotel in Vegas. Goldman Sachs
has committed $500 million to fund his new, as yet, unnamed venture.
———————————————————————————————————-

Oh, yeah, one other thing I learned from the future: The Jay Leno Show was canceled in 2010 and called one of the greatest failures in the history of television. Sorry, Ben.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 22, 2009April 25, 2011

Ben Silverman – Fortune’s 40 Under 40?!

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Donna Langley, Fortune's 40 under 40, IAC, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Rick Finkelstein, Ryan Seacrest, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, William Faulkner

Seriously, Fortune? Are you fucking kidding me? What, will you sell 15 more magazines with him on the list? Couldn’t come up with that 40th name?

What about Jeff Weiner – he’s under 40 and was named CEO of LinkedIn. That’s a pretty big job and the site actually makes money and is relevant.

Ben Silverman is irrelevant. Everyone needs to please stop with the ‘Ben Silverman is great’ shit.

If (and this is about the biggest fucking ‘if’ I’ve ever written) Barry Diller and Ben Silverman put together a company that changes the media landscape and makes the world a better place, put him on your list next year. Oh, yeah, he won’t be UNDER 40 next year. Sorry, Ben.

Well, OnMedea is putting together our own list: ONMEDEA’S TOP 40 FAILURES UNDER 40 and Ben Silverman is in the running for the top of that list.

Check back here next week for all the exciting details.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 20, 2009January 7, 2014

Ayn Rand Was NOT A Conservative

There was a story posted on The Daily Beast by Rebecca Dana titled AYN RAND POWER DRESSING in which she writes:

“Ayn Rand–author of The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged, mother of Objectivism, and the conservative movement’s most rapacious cougar–leapt back into popular culture this year as the hero of the Obama-hating far-right.

But it’s not just Glenn Beck and his minions who are drawing inspiration from the writer, who died in 1982. This fall, the dowdy Russian émigré is en vogue with a whole different set: the free-wheeling, Obama-loving, arugula-eating fashion world.”

Now, I do not follow the antics of Glenn Beck (though I may follow a few of “his minions” depending who they are) and I realize that Rebecca Dana did not actually call Ayn Rand a Conservative (just “the movement’s most rapacious cougar”)… but I just need to put down for the record that she was a staunch anti-Conservative and actually speaks with an almost hatred of them in this extensive audio interview (about 3:30 into the interview she states “I am not a Conservative nor is Objectivism a Conservative philosophy.”):

http://www.aynrand.org/site/PageServer?pagename=reg_ar_cvo

For readers of Ms. Dana’s blog who may not actually research her statements, I fear they would form a completely wrong opinion of Ayn Rand – especially by carelessly linking Ms. Rand to Glenn Beck. (Having done a little quick research on Mr. Beck, I will refrain from opining on him as I do not want to draw the bloodthirsty freaks in his audience into this discussion.)

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 14, 2009April 25, 2011

It’s Time To Kill Melrose Place

Adam Kaufman, Allan Arkush, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Caprice Crane, Colin Egglesfield, Daniel Thomsen, Darren Star, Darren Swimmer, Davis Guggenheim, Dawn Ostroff, Episode 6 Shoreline, Ethan Erickson, Felicity, Fred Toye, Gossip Girl, Greg Beeman, Jason Olive, Jessica Lucas, Jill Kennedy, Joshua Levey, Katie Cassidy, Kelly Carlson, Khan Manka, Laura Leighton, Manka Bros., media blog, Melrose Place, Michael Rady, Nicholas Gonzalez, Norman Buckley, OnMedea, Patrick R. Norris, Roswell, Roxann Dawson, Shaun Sipos, Stephanie Jacobsen, The Beautiful Life: TBL, The CW, The Vampire Diaries, The WB, Thomas Calabro, Todd Slavkin, Victor Webster

Attention to Dawn Ostroff and all those concerned at The CW – it’s time.

It was a valiant attempt to bring back the 1990s glory days of small network success, but it’s time – time to kill Melrose Place. The CW IS The WB and should be all about The Vampire Diaries and Gossip Girl. That’s your sweet spot. Melrose Place is too old. Embrace the mental teenagers that you are! Stop trying to move out of mommy and daddy’s house. Let CBS get old and die. The CW is forever young. Their characters don’t pay bills and rent apartments. But I digress…

Last night’s episode, Episode 6 “Shoreline” received a 1.0/2 rating. That’s not A18-49 – THAT’S TOTAL HHs. It’s over. Air repeats of Roswell or Felicity. Show Color Bars. Show anything. But stop showing Melrose Place. It’s not easy to get that small of an audience. A show really has to work hard at NOT connecting with viewers to get that low of a rating.

You pulled the trigger at the right time on The Beautiful Life:TBL, it’s time for the characters of Melrose Place to strap on the mini-dresses, stick their feet in cement and jump into the pool.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 8, 2009April 26, 2011

Southland Canceled – Ben Silverman Strikes Again

From the executive grave, Ben Silverman has struck again. Southland, the once promising (for one episode) gritty cop show has been canceled (before its season premiere!).

Another day – another failed show. NBC is in big trouble. Mercy, Trauma, Heroes – all cancellations to come.

NBC had better start super-sizing episodes of The Office ASAP.

Also, maybe think about putting together a few hours of The Biggest Loser Outtakes. Are there any extra Law & Orders laying around? Somebody should get Dick Wolf on the phone. That might work for a week or two.

Hey, America’s (Still) Got Talent – get the cameras rolling! Or just show re-runs of Susan Boyle from Britain’s Got Talent. How about that sand artist from Ukraine’s Got Talent? Something is bound to work. Right?

Thank God The Jay Leno Show only needs a 1.5 rating to make $300 million!

This has been an extremely challenging year for NBC so far – and it’s only October 8th.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 8, 2009April 26, 2011

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Love Never Dies

“LOVE NEVER DIES”? That’s the name of the sequel to the Phantom of the Opera?

You mean “Love Never Dies” like the tag line to Francis Ford Coppola’s 1992 movie “Dracula” starring the great Keanu Reeves doing one of the worst British accents in the history of film? “Love Never Dies” like that?

Taking a title from a movie tag line never works. Does anyone remember “Love Is In The Hair…” the musical version of “There’s Something About Mary”? No! Because no one was that stupid.

Look, I’m not here to scream fire in a crowded theater and ruin your billion-dollar party. I’m a musical fanatic and know by heart just about every song Lord Webber has put in a show (and count Aspects Of Love as my favorite – so how crazy am I?)… but come on ALW!

THE PHANTOM IS NOW GOING TO HAUNT CONEY ISLAND?! Are you fucking kidding me?!

Why the fuck would Christine Daae even take a gig at Coney Island? Why the fuck would you hire the SISTER ACT lyricist to do LOVE NEVER DIES?!

I have plenty of more ‘Why the fucks…?’ but I’ll cut it off right there and just say – please prove me wrong, Lord Webber, but this has ‘disaster’ written all over it.

Seriously, I haven’t heard this bad of an idea for a musical since Manka Bros. announced they were adapting “Rampage Of The Stegosaur” for Broadway!

Lord Webber, if you’re so insistent on putting a ridiculous premise like that out there (and you wrote it) then all this show deserves is a joke title – something like:

The Phantom Goes West
Yankee Phantom
Coney Island Ghost (I believe ALW actually wanted to call it The Phantom of Coney Island – or something horrible like that)
Christine Daae’s A Little Whore (Thanks to Shane the intern. He says it’ll work in Vegas.)
Coney Opera
The Phantom 2: Life’s A Beach
Etc.

So, “Love Never Dies” by Lord Webber bows in London on March 9, 2010 (with a most-likely closing date after the summer 2010). I’m sure there will be enough Phantom phanatics to justify a decent run – but Lord Webber doesn’t take bad reviews and slowing box office lightly (i.e., The Woman In White). And this musical is destined for bad reviews and slowing box office.

Good luck to you and your soon to be crestfallen cast.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Please don’t have them sing a song on the Coney Island Roller Coaster. I don’t want to see The Phantom and Christine circle the theater in a roller coaster singing a love ballad. Please.