Steven Spielberg

August 1, 2012August 1, 2012

AMPAS Looks To The Future

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Producers Guild of America, 2011 nominations, Steven Spielberg, Mark Gordon, Hawk Koch, Gary Lucchesi, Hayma "Screech" Washington, Shuler Donner, Gale Anne Hurd, John Hadity, Marshall Herskovitz, Jeffrey Lerner, Chris Thomes, Amy Jacobson Kurokawa, Darla K. Anderson, Fred Baron, Jerome Calimeri, Bruce Cohen, Kathleen Courtney, Maureen Dooling, Tracey Edmonds, Shoshanna R. Ezra, James Fino, Tim Gibbons, Richard Gladstein, Gary Goetzman, Brian Grazer, Sarah Green, Vanessa Hayes, Rachel Klein, Christina Lee Storm, Megan Mascena-Gaspar, Chris Pfaff, David Picker, Lydia Dean Pilcher, Judy Race, Alison Savitch, Paula Wagner, Stephen C. Grossman, George A. Sunga, Dana Kuznetzkoff, Mark Marabella, David Fox, Jeff Gomez, John Hoffman, Nelle Nugent, Amy Robinson, Peter Saraf, Roger Birnbaum, Ian Bryce, Donald DeLine, David Friendly, Ali LeRoi, Lori McCreary, Erin O'Malley, David Picker, Lydia Dean Pilcher, Cathy Schulman, Josh Schwartz, Karen Spiegel, Mike Tollin, Paula Weinstein, James Fino, Kendall Allen, Michael Bellavia, Dina Benadon, Laurent Bouzereau, Mariana Danilovic, Jeanette DePatie, Shawn Gold, John Heinsen, Derek Hildebrandt, Charlotte Huggins, Sophia Kim, Cindy Pound, Marc Scarpa, Deborah Todd, Chris Williams, Felicia Wong, Susan Zwerman, Jeff Lerner, Kimberly Austin, Christina Lee Storm, Suzette Brown, Jerome Calimeri, Carrie Certa, David Hartle, Susan Sherayko, Rebecca Graham Forde, Terra Abroms, Derek Bartholomaus, Wendy Wallace, Maureen Dooling, Jen Haire, RJ Hume, John Peterman, Mitchell Ferm, Allen Maris, Vance Van Petten, Chris Green, Nikki Livolsi, Kyle Katz, Jo-Ann West, Bryce Averitt, Diane Salerno, Erik Bogh, Will Bryan, Scott Bengston, Mitzie Rothzeid, Patrick Gerety, Ben Silverman, Colin Firth, Harrison Ford, Jake Gyllenhaal, Laura Linney, James McAvoy, Mo'Nique, Julianne Moore, Christoph Waltz, Colleen Atwood, Milena Canonero, Betsy Heimann, Judianna Mokovsky, Ha Nguyen, Ken Adam, Rick Carter, Lilly Kilvert, Rusty Smith, George DeTitta, K.C. Fox, nancy Haigh, Leslie Pope, Sandy Reynolds Wasco, Russ Alsobrook, Robbie Greenberg, Julio Macat, Hiro Narita, Amelia Vincent, Wes Anderson, Roger Corman, Lasse Hallstrom, Mike Leigh, Errol Morris, Lone Scherfig, Joe Berlinger, Liz Garbus, Alex Gibney, Mark Lewis, Julia Reichert, Michael Barker, Peter Chernin, Camela Galano, Brad Grey, Lisa Henson, Bill Mechanic, Robert Shaye, Patrick Wachsberger, David Brenner, Lisa Zeno Churgin, Lynzee Klingman, Michael Tronick, Billy Weber, Lois Burwell, David Marti, Montse Ribe, Ve Neill, Aldo Signoretti, Kazuhiro Tsuji, Bryan Adams, Eric Clapton, The Edge, Michael Giacchino, Suzana Peric, Dean Pitchford, Arthur Cohn, Eric Fellner, Samuel Goldwyn, Charles Roven, Jennifer Todd, Suzanne Todd, Duncan Clark, Therese Curtin, Rob Friedman, Nancy Utley, Jochen Alexander Freydank, Martin McDonagh, Dean Parisot, Signe Baumane, Sharon Calahan, Pete Docter, Chris Landreth, Bill Plympton, Wendy Tilby, Chris Wedge, Karen Baker Landers, Willie Burton, Benjamin Burtt, Anthony Ciccolini, Mary Jo Lang, Virginia Cook-McGown, Dean Zupancic, Eric Brevig, John Frazier, Michele Moen, Mark Stetson, Hoyt Yeatman, Hossein Amini, Judd Apatow, Guillermo Arriaga, Diablo Cody, Geoffrey Fletcher, Christopher Hampton, Robin Swicord, Grover Crisp, Ray Dolby, Sarah Halley Finn, Ron Stein, Beverly Joanna Wood, Peter Dinklage, Jennifer Hudson, Wes Studi, Michelle Williams, Pedro Almodovar, Lisa Cholodenko, Christopher Nolan, John Singleton, Kathleen Bennett, Bono, T Bone Burnett, Pablo Helman, Van Ling, Helena Packer, Lynzee Klingman, Demian Bichir, George Clooney, Jean Dujardin, Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt, Kenneth Branagh, Jonah Hill, Nick Nolte, Christopher Plummer, Max Von Sydow, Glenn Close, Viola Davis, Rooney Mara, Meryl Streep, Michelle Williams, Berenice Bejo, Jessica Chastain, Melissa McCarthy, Janet McTeer, Octavia Spencer, Alain Gognol, Jean-Loup Felicioli, Fernando Trueba, Javier Mariscal, Jennifer Yuh Nelson, Chris Miller, Gore Verbinski, Robert Gould, Stuart Craig, Stephenie McMillan, Dante Ferretti, Francesca Lo Schiavo, Anne Seibel, Helene Dubreuil, Rick Carter, Lee Sandales, Guillaume Schiffman, Jeff Cronenweth, Robert Richardson, Emmanuel Lubezki, Janusz Kaminski, Lisy Christl, Mark Bridges, Sandy Powell, Michael O'Connor, Arianne Phillips, Michel Hazanavicius, Alexander Payne, Martin Scorsese, Woody Allen, Terrence Malick, Danfung Dennis, Mike Lerner, Marhsal Curry, Sam Cullman, Joe Berlinger, Bruce Sinofsky, Wim Wenders, Gian-Piero Ringel, TJ Martin, Dan Lindsay, Richard Middlemas, Robin Fryday, Gail Dolgin, Rebecca Cammisa, Julie Anderson, James Spione, Daniel Junge, Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy, Lucy Walker, Kira Carstensen, Anne-Sophie Bion, Kevin Tent, Kirk Baxter, Angus Wall, Thelma Schoonmaker, Christopher Tellefesn, Martial Corneville, Lynn Johnston, Matthew Mungle, Nick Dudman, Amanda Knight, Lisa Tomblin, Mark Coulier, J. Roy Helland, John Williams, Ludovic Bource, Howard Shore, Alberto Iglesias, Bret McKenzie, Sergio Mendes, Carlinhos Brown, Siedah Garrett, Thomas Langmann, Jim Burke, Jim Taylor, Scott Rudin, Brunson Green, Chris Columbus, Michael Barnathan, Graham King, Letty Aronson, Stephen Tenenbaum, Michael De Luca, Rachael Horovitz, Kathleen Kennedy, Patrick Doyon, William Joyce, Brandon Oldenburg, Enrico Casarosa, Grant Orchard, Sue Goffe, Amanda Forbis, Wendy Tilby, Peter McDonald, Eimear O'Kane, Max Zahle, Stefan Gieren, Terry George, Oorlagh George, Andrew Bowler, Gigi Causey, Hallvar Witzo, Lon Bender, Victor Ray Ennis, Ren Kylce, Philip Stockton, Eugene Gearty, Ethan Van der Ryn, Erik Aadahl, Richard Hymns, Gary Rydstrom, David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce, Bo Persson, Tom Fleischman, John Midgley, Deb Adair, Ron Bochar, David Giammarco, Ed Novick, Greg Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey Haboush, Peter Devlin, Gary Rydstrom, Andy Nelson, Tom Johnson, Stuart Wilson, Tim Burke, David Vickery, Greg Butler, John Richardson, Rob Legato, Joss Williams, Ben Grossman, Alex Henning, Erik Nash, John Rosengrant, Dan Taylor, Swen Gillberg, Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, R. Christopher White, Daniel Barrett, Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Matthew Butler, John Frazier, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash, John Logan, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon, Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin, Stan Chervin, Bridget O'Connor, Peter Straughan, Annie Mumolo, Kristin Wiig, J.C. Chandor, Asghar Farhadi

Hawk Koch was named President of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences today.

Like his aggressive name suggests, this is a bold choice from an extremely bold organization.

To have the balls to choose the old media film producer son of an old media Hollywood mogul is the kind of cutting edge change necessary to keep AMPAS relevant.

I have a feeling this is going to be one of the greatest years in the history of the Academy.

Here’s what we can expect:

There will be a double-digit increase in cocktail parties under Mr. Koch’s reign.

The words “digital transition” and “Netflix” will be officially banned from Academy headquarters.

$100 million will be raised for the AMPAS Museum (from various cocktail parties and galas to honor other old media executives) which will be a great gathering place for old media types to have cocktails and watch newly-restored prints of “Citizen Kane.”

Don Rickles (because Henny Youngman is dead) will be approached to host the Oscars. “Hey, he’s still funny! And the 18-49s love him!”

… and on and on.

Very exciting stuff.

Glad to see the giant vacuum bubble that was put in place over Beverly Hills in order to keep fresh ideas out is still secure.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Now I can see why my boss, Khan Manka, Jr., has such a problem with the organization.

July 21, 2011July 21, 2011

Don’t Blame Superman

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Amanda Seyfried, Andrew Chang, Angela Bromstad, Anil Ambani, Ann Daly, Anne Globe, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Beastly, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Brothers Grimm, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Clark Hallren, Comic-Con, Craig Ring, Craig Smith, Dan Satterthwaite, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Dreamworks Animation, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Gemma Arterton, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Guillermo Del Toro, Hans Woolley, Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters, Harry Brittenham, Harry Sloan, Heather O'Conner, Hey Diddle Diddle, Holly Bario, Jack the Giant Killer, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Small, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jeremy Renner, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John Batter, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Judson Green, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lew Coleman, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Sourian, Mark Stein, Melody Hobson, Michael Eisner, Michael J. Montgomery, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nathan Myhrvold, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Allen, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Pinnochio, Red Riding Hood, Reliance ADA Group, Rich Sullivan, Richard F. Zannino, Richard Sherman, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Roger Enrico, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Snow White and the Seven, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Strauss Zelnick, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas Freston, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman, Walt Disney

Today, I read an analyst report written by Vasily Karasyov of Susquehanna Financial Group titled “The Death of Superheroes”.

Salacious title? Certainly.

A title that would get the attention of every media executive around the world? Absolutely.

A title that’s total bullshit? Definitely.

According to this report, over the past ten years movie studios have plucked 16 superheroes (or super groups) from the obscurity of the basements of geeks and put them smack dab in the global spotlight for everyone to see.

Some have been really good, made lots of money and spawned sequels, rebirths and regurgitations (e.g., “Spider-Man”, “Batman”, “Iron Man”, “X-Men”).

Others were shit and lost a lot of money (basically the rest of them).

For the most part, that’s the way it’s supposed to work. Good = success. Bad = no success.

Over that same time, about 2,000 other movies were released to varying degrees of success. These included huge non-comic book movies like “Harry Potter”, “Lord of the Rings”, “Pirates of the Caribbean”, “The Hangover”, and, sure, even Woody Allen’s biggest hit ever “Midnight In Paris”.

So while it seems every other movie that comes out is a comic book movie, nothing could be further from the truth. But that’s not the point I want to make.

Here’s the point: People are not tired of Superheroes. You cannot blame the superhero for the failure of corporate mortals.

If every comic book/superhero movie were unbelievably great, audiences would flock to them and they would all be huge hits.

Seriously, if the studios would have put out 16 awesome, well-made, true to the source comic book movies, they would have had, guaranteed, 16 big hit, profitable movies.

But this didn’t happen and it never will happen. Why? Because movie studios always try to make good movies. Regardless of what some people think, the executives at movie studios are not trying to suck.

Every movie that is made (with all those millions of dollars at stake) start off with a single dream – to be really good and to make money (maybe not in that order). Everyone, at every level, works very hard to make these films as good as humanly possible.

But somewhere along the chain – from concept to the day of release – something happens to make them suck.

And in most cases, lots of things happen to make them suck.

The movie-making process is subjective. One person’s gold is another person’s shit.

What Hollywood IS GUILTY OF is genre rape.

Once one high-concept or genre film hits it really big (i.e., “Alice In Wonderland”) suddenly every studio in town needs to have that high-concept or genre type film in the pipeline ASAP.

Because of “Alice In Wonderland”, over the past year every studio had to have as many fairy tale scripts as they get their hands on including THREE FREAKIN’ “SNOW WHITES”!

My God, even Manka Bros. – my studio – bought the rights to “Hey Diddle Diddle” and plans to spend well over $150 million to produce something we know will fail. Sorry, boss.

Go down any list of genre and you’ll see one movie that started the entire feeding frenzy. “Scream” spawned hundreds of crappy horror movies. “Harry Potter” got everyone out there trying to find the next great children’s fantasy series. Vampires, zombies… it’s just a case of mass brainlessness.

But here’s the shocker. What do I think needs to be changed? Nothing.

Movies should continue to be made and they should be made as well as possible.

Some should be based on comic books because it’s really great source material.

Others should be based on the Bible, or Dickens or Broadway . Because it’s really great source material.

And yet others should be based on ideas people think up on their own (imagine that!) – because the brain is capable of coming up with a really great source material.

“Hollywood” isn’t broken and the Superhero isn’t dead (Christopher Nolan could turn any deep catalog comic book character into a franchise – even something like “Gerbil Girl”) – everyone involved in the process just needs to concentrate more on entertaining the audience and less on just filling a summer slot.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Why the hell is “Glee” at Comic-Con? If you want to talk about something that’s dead… it’s Comic-Con. And IT WAS killed by the movie studios. If you want a good laugh, read the transcript from Khan Manka, Jr.’s keynote address to last year’s Comic-Con.

June 23, 2011June 23, 2011

Michael Bay: Turn Off The Dark

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Ehren Kruger, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Shia LaBeouf, Hugo Weaving, Ken Jeong, Josh Duhamel, Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, Leonard Nimoy, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Alan Tudyk, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Tom Kenny, James Avery, Glenn Morshower, Keiko Agena, Julie White, Kevin Dunn, Charles Adler, Lester Speight, Robert Foxworth, Kym Whitley, Mark Ryan, Jess Harnell, Kathleen Gati, LaMonica Garrett, Anthony Azizi, Elena Kolpachikova, David Hutchison, David St. James, Jack Donner, Kevin Sizemore, Chris Sheffield, Lindsey Ginter, Brett Stimely, Markiss McFadden, Steve Hersack, Darren O'Hare, Darcy Leutzinger, Robert Herrick, James D. Weston, Scott C. Roe, Bob Kaye, Michael Loeffelholz, Rob Guzzo, Joel Shock, Denny Torich, Annie Hsu, Jason Endicott, Matt McVay, Morgan Williams, Bryan Basil, Nathaniel Best, Anthony Bonaventura, Ryan Buckley, Ken Bulcroft, Michael Daniel Cassady, Jason Adam Chaffin, Larry Clarke, Cameron Comstock, Jordan Michael Coulson, Thomas Crawford, Adam Critchlow, Andrew Daly, John Dezsi, Gena Ellis, John Farrer, Maile Flanagan, Reese Foster, Aaron Garrido, Corin Grant, Marie Grujicic-Delage, Terrick Guindy, Niki Haze, William Haze, Jessie Heiman, David Hill, Jasyn Jefferies, Haytham Kandil, Josh Kelly, Kristoffer Kjornes, Inna Korobkina, Erik Kowalski, Scott Krinsky, Joel Lambert, Scott Levy, Brett Lynch, Noelle Lynn, Taylor McCluskey, Alecia McGill, Ray Mirabal, Michael Morana, Prida Moreza, Paul Morgan, Dean Napolitano, Jason Neisewander, Daniel OKeefe, Michael Palma, Kenny Bates, Ian Bryce, Allegra Clegg, Matthew Cohan Tom DeSanto, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Brian Goldner, Michael Kase, Michelle McGonagle, Don Murphy, Steven Spielberg, Mark Vahradian, Steve Jablonsky, Amir M. Mokri, Roger Barton, William Goldenberg, Joel Negron, Denise Chamian, Nigel Phelps, Ralph Bertelle, Allegra Clegg

I’m going to start with a really stupid statement: Filmmakers are a very important piece of the filmmaking process.

But they’re not the only piece.

It appears Michael Bay has a problem with the way movie theaters have been projecting 3D movies lately (read: dark) – and, in particular, is concerned about his upcoming “Transformers: Dark Of The Moon”. (I’m not sure why he wasn’t screaming at them when “Kung Fu Panda 2” was released with the same issues… but I digress.)

And isn’t it ironic that Mr. Bay is asking theaters to lighten up the image of a movie titled “Transformers: DARK of the Moon”?

Here’s the dilemma for movie theaters: Should they lose more money this quarter to make “Transformers 3” look better? Theater owners have been hammered lately and are just trying to survive.

I suppose one could argue the reason the economics are bad for movie theaters is because the movies don’t look better – I don’t believe that for a second.

Would better projection have helped “Green Lantern”? All the reviews I read didn’t mention how light or dark the movie was in the theater.

Audiences couldn’t even see “The Dark Knight” and it made a billion dollars and was loved by all.

What does Michael Bay expect movie theaters to do? Remember, these are the same theaters he defended when he signed the movie industry letter against Premium VOD (which would offer unbelievable picture quality – probably even up to his standards) in the home just six weeks after showing in theaters.

Bay said in an email to Variety: “We have created a special version (of “Transformers 3”) with extra sharpening, color and contrast. It is a superior look in the format. The brighter the image, the brain processes in a different way and the results sharpens and makes it more vibrant. We did many studies on the formats for presentation and I found this to be the best result.”

So Michael Bay knows how the brain reacts to images? Has there been a study on how the brain reacts to Michael Bay films? My hypothesis… it slowly dies.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Terrence Malick has issued specific instructions to movie theaters on how to project “The Tree Of Life”.

First of all, as respected a filmmaker as Terrence Malick is, most of his movies don’t get a super wide release and are thus relegated to lower tiered theaters (in L.A. this would be Laemmle). Many of these theaters don’t have (and can’t afford) this kind of equipment.

Which is another interesting conundrum – some of the best movies made over the past [any amount] years are the ones that have been stuck in art houses with terrible projection systems. Shouldn’t these be the films that get preferential treatment?

What should the projector settings be for “Midnight In Paris”? Poor Woody Allen’s movies have been shown in nothing but lower grade art house theaters for the past 30 years and not one person has come out to say his films deserve to be shown in the best theaters with the best projection system in the world. He uses world class cinematographers and you don’t see him bitching about the quality of the movie projection systems.

Imagine what the theaters were like when “The Godfather” was first put out. Gordon Willis painstakingly lit that film and it was absolutely gorgeous and it was shown (and loved) on a 1971 movie projector. “Jaws”, “Close Encounters…”, “Star Wars”… etc. etc. etc. were all made and projected with the equipment available at the time. And these are classic films. Whether it was shown light or dark had nothing to do with how it was received.

But Michael Bay appears to have higher stands and demands more. Perhaps Michael Bay should front the additional cost when these expensive projector bulbs burn out faster and need to be replaced more frequently.

Don’t get me wrong, movie theaters are a major contributor to the problem here starting with the $15 for a medium popcorn and a diet Coke… oh, yeah, and the projection is really dark.

But no matter how horrible the experience, at least you’re not spending $300 to see “Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark”.

And all these technical issues happening right now would mean absolutely nothing – and no one would be talking about it at all – if the movies being projected didn’t suck so much.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

March 31, 2011April 11, 2011

DreamWorks Animation – What’s The Point?

I certainly hope Jeffrey Katzenberg is actively trying to sell the company. I mean, for a guy like him, I just don’t get why he does it.

For most people, it would be a great gig: Produce two high quality (some at Pixar would say average quality) animated movies a year for ever and ever and ever. But Jeffrey Katzenberg isn’t ‘most people’. He’s a guy that wanted to build an empire and has apparently stopped trying to do that. I can’t imagine he’s suddenly content with what he has.

When DreamWorks was formed in 1994, I was all for it. To build a media empire from scratch is the kind of ambition that Hollywood hadn’t seen in decades (and probably won’t be seen again). But if anyone could do it, it would be Spielberg, Katzenberg and Geffen – SKG. But they couldn’t stomach the hard times.

They didn’t have the guts of a Khan Manka or a Walt Disney who were willing to mortgage everything to keep their dreams afloat. SKG used mostly other people’s money – not their houses or art collections – and the other people started getting nervous. SKG decided to remain rich and refined the art of risk management.

And I’m sure they’ve all had very happy lives even without a media empire.

But I think it’s time for DreamWorks to finally exit the stage. It’s going to happen sooner or later. Just do it now. Why go through the aggravation of further stockholder meetings and quarterly reports to Wall Street.

Right, Mr. Katzenberg?

Just sell (probably for a few billion), if you can, at a decent return to shareholders, set up an office on one of the studio lots and reminisce about the old days and how things might have turned out different if you’d been a little crazier.

Nearly all the movies DreamWorks Animation has produced and will produce have been and will most likely be solid hits worldwide that any film studio would love to add to their library/event film slate. It’s a pretty simple formula – write average script, hire stars as voices, animate, market, distribute and make about $500 million worldwide (with only the occasional disappointment of something like “Flushed Away”). Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

A big studio purchase of DWA fits perfectly into Hollywood’s current mindset of accurately predicting financial results and avoiding any kind of risk.

Lucky are we to get to pay for and sit through the movies that reflect this strategy.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

February 18, 2011April 11, 2011

Not ANOTHER Fairy Tale Ending

Once upon a time, Hollywood was creatively bankrupt… again. The year was 2011 and poor little Hollywood didn’t know what kind of movies to make.

The heads of the major studios (including Manka Bros. – the owner of OnMedea) knew that a film adaptation of the fairy tale “Alice In Wonderland” made over $1 billion at the box office in 2010 and said “That’s a lot of money.”

So after much thought (or not), Hollywood decided to make EVERY FREAKING FAIRY TALE EVER WRITTEN INTO A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE!

Come on, really?

Every day, I read about another studio doing another fairy tale adaption. And all of them are a DARK, GRITTY version that the “19th century authors originally had in mind”.

Not a fluffy Hollywood squeaky clean version that doesn’t scare our whimpy modern day kids – but a frightening and bloody tale like children used to experience when kids were tough and enjoyed waking up screaming from a horrifying nightmare because of the bedtime story they were read.

To be fair, I think it was a great idea to reimagine Red Riding Hood with a darker tone – which is certainly fitting of the story. And while the trailer looks like a cross between a perfume ad and Twilight, I still believe it’s a solid original concept and should result in strong box office. (I’ll certainly be there opening weekend.)

But then came a fairy tale adaptation tsunami (which includes 3 SNOW WHITES!) that has now completely flooded the town.

Here’s a sampling of what’s coming up:

Jack the Giant Killer (Warner Bros.) – a gritty modern day reimagining of the classic tale.

The Brothers Grimm: Snow White (Relativity) – gritty reimagining starring Julia Roberts as the Wicked Queen.

Snow White and The Huntsman (Universal) – gritty reimagining starring Charlize Theron as the Wicked Queen.

Snow White and The Seven (Disney) – sweet, no gritty, set in 19th century China.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (Paramount) – Starring Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton (and, no doubt, various star cameos), H&G are now accomplished bounty hunters out to get the witches who nearly killed them years before.

Beastly (CBS Films) – Beauty & The Beast set in high school. I don’t expect much from this one as I’ve already predicted the death of CBS Films in a previous blog.

Pinnochio 3D – a stop motion reimagining of the classic fairy tale. Expect a very dark and disturbing retake on this one as it comes from the genius mind of Guillermo Del Toro. I can already imagine losing sleep after I witness the stop motion, painful transformation of the children into donkeys sequence.

Hey Diddle Diddle (Manka Bros.) – a grim reimagining of the classic bedtime ditty set during the 1930s in a Soviet Union gulag. Why does the cow jump over the moon? Freedom.

Grimm (NBC) – Gritty TV cop drama set in a world where the characters of Grimm’s Fairy Tales actually exist.

———————————————————-

And that’s just in the next couple of years. Just think if these projects make money what we’ll see next:

Pat the Bunny – set in a post-apocalyptic cannibalistic world.

Rumpelstiltskin – featuring the beloved garden Gnomes from Gnomeo & Juliet in their first R-rated turn.

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie – rewritten with darker twists and turns so that it ends in murder.

Etc. etc. etc.

And the sad reality is, I won’t be able to take my five year old daughter to one of them because, if I did, she would wake up screaming in the middle of the night after witnessing Snow White disembowel one of the dwarfs (or something).

But I guess these movies aren’t made for her. They’re Fairy Tales – they’re not made for children for Christ’s sake. They’re made for the guys who go to Comic-Con. And THEY lived happily ever after.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 23, 2009April 21, 2011

White Male Disney Executives Embrace Women

Ari Emanual, Bob Iger, Bob Zemeckis, Claudia Eller, Dawn Chmielewski, Dick Cook, Disney, Jeff Weiner, Jeremy Zimmer, Jerry Bruckheimer, Joe Roth, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., McG, Nikki Finke, Pixar, Rich Ross, Richard Ross, Robin Williams, Sam Gores, Sandra Bullock, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steven Spielberg, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tim Burton, Walt Disney Studios

Apparently, Rich Ross has had an epiphany: Women like movies.

According to the Los Angeles Times (and I’m paraphrasing/ reading between-the-lines), Rich Ross has told (male) literary agents at (male) literary agencies (who represent [male] literary writers), that (Walt) Disney Studios would like to produce more films that appeal to women.

It must have been one of those ‘flux capacitor’ moments for Rich Ross and got me wondering about how genius manifests itself. I mean, thoughts this brilliant don’t just come along every day.

So in my own inferior mind, I began to wonder how the scene must have played out in Bob Iger’s office (or wherever it occurred) and believe it happened like this:

Bob Iger, in sweaty shorts and a T-shirt is slamming racquetballs against the giant windows of his office (the one with the Seven Dwarfs outside).

Intercom: Mr. Iger, your nephew, Richard Ross, is here to see you.

Bob Iger: He’s not my nephew. Send him in.

Richard Ross enters.

Rich: Uncle Bob, I want to run something by you.

Bob: Rich, I’m not your uncle.

Rich: We can play it that way. I’m hip to that.

Bob: What’s on your mind?

Rich: Women.

Bob: Really? You? Explain.

Rich: I think we need to make movies that appeal to women. Kagan recently did a study that came to the conclusion that women actually go to movies. That they actually… enjoy movies.

Bob: You mean like Pirates of the Caribbean and Walt Disney’s A Christmas Carol?

Rich: I mean like Twilight and Sandra Bullock movies.

Bob: Jesus Christ. What the fuck are you saying to me?

Rich: I’m saying we need to get together with some of the top male screenwriters and producers in Hollywood and come up with the next generation of “Twilights” and “Sandra Bullock” movies. In order to survive, we need to tap more women.

Bob: Then do it. You have my full support.

Rich: Thanks, Bob.

Bob: Uncle… Bob.

Rich smiles and leaves.

That may not have been exactly the way it played out – but the end result will be films manufactured by men that attempt to appeal to women that do nothing but turn women off.

My advice to Disney: Pirates of the Caribbean 4. Appeal to women when you have a good story to tell, not by turning a “John Travolta” script into a “Sandra Bullock” script.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 15, 2009April 29, 2011

My Ex-Asshole Boss Richard Fuld Plays Tennis With Khan Manka!

Ari Emanuel, Bellini, Credit Suisse, Deadline Hollywood, Dom Perignon, Erin Burnett, Femme Aux Bras Croises, Glenn Vogelman, Goldman Sachs, Greycroft Partners, Harry's Bar, Henry Blodget, Ian Sigalow, Jeff Weiner, Jeffrey Logsdon, Jessica Reif Cohen, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Lehman Brothers, Los Angeles Country Club, Manka Bros., Meredith Whitney, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Oppenheimer & Co., Picasso, Richard "The Gorilla" Fuld, Richard Fuld, Riviera Country Club, Sharon Waxman, Silicon Alley Insider, Spencer Wang, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Story of Fuld, Street Sweetie, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Vijay Jayant, World's Largest Media Company

Holy shit! I can’t believe it. It’s like a dagger right into the breast!

My new employer (Khan Manka, Jr.) PLAYED TENNIS YESTERDAY with my old boss (the asshole Richard Fuld of Lehman Brothers).

I feel so dirty. I feel so ashamed.

What the fuck, Khan! He’s an old friend?!?!?!

I may have to rethink my future here at Manka Bros.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea