Chairman's Blog

With the upcoming death of Sumner Redstone (any day now based on how he looked in recent photos) and the increasing dementia of Rupert Murdoch, it’s clear there is soon to be only one true Hollywood mogul remaining. And that is me. As with the “Last of the Mohicans,” moguls in Hollywood used to be …

Good morning. I am back from the hellhole that was Austin, Texas and the that waste of time known as SXSW. If there was any positive that came out of my keynote address it was that my security guard kicked the Foo Fighters’ asses. Truly the only enjoyable moment of my trip. This morning, I …

[The following is an unedited transcript of the keynote address to the SXSW Festival by Manka Bros. Chairman & CEO Khan Manka, Jr.] March 12, 2013 – Austin Convention Center – Ballroom G [Khan Manka, Jr. approaches a podium...] Khan Manka, Jr.:  Uh… Dave Grohl was supposed to introduce me – calm down, you idiots… …

What I said last year can be repeated this year. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences can F itself. The same goes for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association… And while I’m at it, The Producer’s Guild can suck it… … and any other suck ass group of idiots who wouldn’t know a quality movie …

So, this morning, I returned to the studio after a quick vacation at my house in the Seychelles - feeling relaxed, very tan and ready to make 2013 the biggest and most profitable year in Manka Bros. history. I even had a smile on my face. One of my assistants (Vicky, I think??? – the one with the thing …

Due to the uncertainty of the fiscal cliff, the fact that my taxes are going up, the shitty year Manka Bros. has had at the box office, the crappy television shows that were produced for our horrible television networks, declining music sales and the frightening losses in our Publishing Group, I have decided to cancel the 2012 Manka Bros. Employee Holiday Party that was to be held …

[The following is a transcribed phone conversation that Khan Manka, Jr. wanted posted on his Chairman's Blog. Per his request, this is unedited - so I apologize for any unseemly language.] Hello from Cannes! Earlier today, I gave the keynote address at MIPCOM and now I am sitting here at the Hotel Carlton bar with …

[The following is a transcript of Khan Manka, Jr.'s keynote address at MIPCOM 2012.  A disclaimer: Mr. Manka arrived late and was unable to have his speech entered into the TelePrompTer so his prepared remarks were not given.] MIPCOM 2012 – KHAN MANKA, JR. KEYNOTE ADDRESS “Rock You Like A Hurricane” plays as Khan Manka, Jr. …

Hello from the Seychelles! I was interrupted during my morning para-scuba excursion with the news that Ross Levinsohn is leaving Yahoo!   Is Yahoo! really that stupid? Every month it’s a new high level executive on the market. Who needs headhunters when you have ex-Yahoo! CEOs out there? [Note to Marissa Mayer:  Call me in a …

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2012 Day 1 – Day 2 – Day 3 Over the past few days, I have received several emails saying “Come on, Khan, you goddamned prick – where is your fucking write-up of Day 3 of the Herb Allen suckfest? Well, Michael Eisner, here it is, asshole.  Read it and …