Water For Elephants

Greetings, faithful readers.  There is much news (and much change!) at Behind the Proscenium.  We have moved – emotionally and physically.  Physically, from New York (the Big Apple – I love Appletinis) to Los Angeles (The Big ? – but I’ll take the margaritas).  Emotionally, from despair, to hope, to triumph.  More on that later.

Since I have been so busy, I have chosen a guest reviewer (to review our first motion picture!) – a delicious man from Finland.  Kimmo Mustonenen is very well known in the critical community as a critic’s critic.  So today, as we emerge from Behind The Proscenium, I present to you Kimmo Mustonenen’s brilliant review of “Water For Elephants”.

Take it away, Kimmo!

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“Water For Elephants” Review – by Kimmo Mustonenen

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Sara GruenIt all started when I saw the Twilight Saga, familiar to Robert Pattinson a magazine for young women pages.

No, I do not usually read those magazines – it just happened to come accept a job in the coffee room.  Really.

Pages of a magazine was waiting for a surprise, which caused almost obsessive interest in young Mr. Pattinson’s new “Elephant Water” films. 

Robert Pattinson – hysteria & circuses, cried the magazine title and the star of the picture proudly displayed a big smile while both hands onto a giant elephant intrusive nasal.

Article caused great wonderment in my mind and raised questions.  Is it that today’s teenage girls no longer enough just beautiful boy charming smile?  If further adolescent really so blatant metaphors?  Questions puzzled my mind, rather than later published in the trailer gives no answers.  I got my hands on the Artichoke Film catalog and introductory text encapsulates the film hooks maximal manner:

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano“Together with Jacob and Marlena are trying to find common ground on a new entrant to the circus, Rosie, an elephant – and with each other.”

In the three pieces of our time immoral triangle, unless I have not understood the whole movie’s point completely wrong.

Now the long wait will be rewarded when the “Water Elephants” will be premiered.  “Constantine” director Francis Lawrence to combine “Twilight” star Pattinson, “Walk the Line” decorative Reese Witherspoon, Oscar-winning actor Christoph Waltz, and an elephant named Rosie horse shit stink, but his film.  Rumors say that in real life Pattinson took the role against the 42-year-old, more than 4000 kg elephant due.

“When Robert saw the elephant, he loved it so much, that definitely wanted to play the role of Jacob“, one of the R-Pattz actress friend says.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha VenezianoWe are living in the 1930s Depression-ravaged America.  Jacob will be orphaned of his parents died in a car accident.  Veterinarian Studies of disruption and the bank seized the home because of debts.  Jacob ends up accidentally falling within the party of the circus train and befriends a circus with the people dear to quickly support a number of star brightness, Marlena (Witherspoon).

Circus manager is Marlena’s quick temper and a violent husband, August (Waltz), which takes Jacob wings Rosie-trained elephants, the latest entrant to the circus.  Jacob and Marlena’s secret relationship came to light the following problems.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano“Water For Elephants” is not just a dirty metaphors studded ultimaaattinen karsanhyvailyelokuva or even Pattinson naamavarkilla equestrian circus camp. 

Sara Gruen of the same name based on the novel worked screenplay manages to cover almost completely beneath the smoldering invisible ink written kaksimielisyydet that subtitles do things, if it is to take a closer look.

Movie barking is unnecessary, so focus on the good aspects.

Story told in flashback and frame the story in retirement Jacob (Hal Holbrook), accounting for a young history ringmaster.  The best part of the scene where Jacob says the young man’s ear and is beautiful.

Soon the “Water Elephant” really gets started and we hear tell Pattinson veterinarian studies, and how he has been too many times to push his hand cow ass.  Jacob end of year later, the circus comes to him under more specific use.  Man adapts very well in all kinds of wild animals and sirkusfriikkien population, although the typical characters – such as the bearded woman – not the movie nahdakaan.  As a counterweight to the state of residence divided Jacob, Kinko called dwarf (Mark Povinelli), whose raksyttava Jack Russell terrier is aptly named Queenie.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Sara GruenSoon Jacob is seen lapioimassa sweaty circus tent in front of the manure.  Photo by Rodrigo Prieto, the camera moves to the same sample during a natural picture of a little aside and attached Marlena and her white horses.  A few scenes later, Marlena singing children’s songs, while Jacob bang the horse to death with a pistol.

Prieto and director Lawrence keep good care of the fact that often the pictures are carefully portraits.  Teen out of the theater audience is familiar with the brainwashing and cult Pattinson already in full swing.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha VenezianoPattinson and Witherspoon are movie stars, but in smaller roles are Waltz, and Rosie, the elephant, play a much more convincing.  Waltz, August-likeness is the same as the oppressive cold Hans Land Below “Inglourious Basterds”Rosie charms every scene is no wonder that he went to Pattinson’s messed up.  The permit is warm and dirty karsaromantiikkaa attention when James is released to manage elephants.  Rosie is thrilled once even a bit of splashing face hanging elimellaan.

“Water for Elephants” contains something for everyone.  Pattinson having comfortably beaten by a couple of times, but something even better happens.  Movie is the best section Jacob gets prank victim and wake up wet after a night out from the barrel pelleksi masked yesterday without remembering anything.  A bit later, he discovers something even more shocking, but I am leaving it a secret in this context.

“Water for Elephants”, this time, may be graded at four stars out of five.  However, it is good to note that the score is given, at least potentially Pattinson fans the human or other creature’s point of view.  Under normal circumstances, like a nihilist could approach it in a slightly different way, and bend up to hold it in a bad movie, but for me, the brainwashing has already occurred.

If the score does not feel right or you are otherwise hurt just reading your text, so can not do anything.  Bad luck.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen

10 Replies to “Water For Elephants”

  1. I cried at this part:
    “A few scenes later, Marlena singing children’s songs, while Jacob bang the horse to death with a pistol.”
    Nice writing, Kimmo. Welcome to Manka.

  2. And just like that it fades away. It’s so hard to create an event out of a movie anymore unless, of course, it’s a sequel or comic book. Fast and the Furious 5 will do about $80 million this weekend – Water for Elephants may not even do that its entire run.

  3. This was good. Christoph Waltz was outstanding. A great movie from beginning to end. Highly recommended especially during this time of year with nothing but mindless special effects movies.

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