Footloose
With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen
There was many times ago an original idea in Hollywood.
D.W. Griffith was that guy who had it.
Since then, maybe Blake Edwards or Eli Roth.
Now we can go to a cinema knowing that we will see what already we have seen yesterday, last summer, five summers, childhood or (in this example) 1984.
How did Kevin Bacon not kill these people?
New game for this film’s greenlighters – Six Degrees From Grim Reaper (remember to enter my new Dead Pool – info appearing to the future!).
For those who live under rocks – the story: Ren MacCormack moves from Boston to the small town Bomont in the southern USA, where he has a real culture shock (every movie lately lives next to “The Help”).
Some years before, the congregation – by the tragic death of five teenagers – has been plagued by celebrations after that one night. Then spoke the local politicians and the popular Reverend Shaw, a ban on loud music and dancing.
Ren (not Stimpy) wants to accept it, however, being a teen, rebels against the ban.
He breathed life back in the village and falls in love with it?
No, just in Ariel (Julianne Hough – Ryan Seacrest‘s beard), the daughter of the pastor.
She is hot.
In the remake of the cult MTV dance film “Footloose (1984)” has not exactly changed much (the story is still playing in southern backwater Bomont).
Ren (Kenny Wormald) wants to abolish the local ban on dancing and his queen of hearts Ariel (Juliann Hough, still hot) is still situated on meaningless tests of courage and the patience of the audience to the test.
Why must hot chicks test us?
On Cinemax they just get naked.
New story, new characters?
Forget it!
Why is there this stencil-like remake anyway?
Are you stupider, already? MONEY!
I love it as much (more) than you (money).
Yet the suck that is making movies over and over the same makes my sitting butt crack wish that no longer the theater I must inhabit. I stand by this.
Where were we?
Attractive teens, rebelling, attract to each other. Teen conflicts are indicated and the skeptical view of the pastor Shaw (Dennis Quaid).
Then all dance enthusiasts are in the house. Successful entry, retro feel sprayed, may now be as wild dancing – you might think!
After director Craig Brewer has lulled us positively tap toeing, he is taking a wrong direction and to illuminate characters who are simply not worth that one is concerned more with their background.
Ariel’s problems with race car driver Chuck, her problems with her daddy, her problems with her friend and top it up with their innocence – Julianne Hough (she is very hot) has to bear all sorts of character with their parcels, which do not really care about anyway.
We care about her nakedness. Our cares end up meaning nothing.
Felt her character has the most screen time and leaves actor Kenny Wormald in reverse always appear sympathetic.
He plays the cool James Dean blend, cooked up here and there at times and ultimately mimics exactly the kind of singleness dance rebel, the one in a movie called… wait for it… “Footloose”!
The different characters, whether it makes sense, annoying or charming, all have a common weakness:
They do not do the forbidden dance! Which, in Bomont, is every dance.
Instead of focusing on the movement of talented performers (Julianne Hough, did I mention her?), the audience must always fight words by books and dialogues and are hoping for a extravagant finale.
But until it comes to this final move, agonizing over long dialogues, danceable tracks are burned in the background and just after half the movie is clear that this remake is completely unnecessary.
Conclusion: “Footloose” is a usefulness-free remake of the ’80s cult film starring Kevin Bacon (I tread on his foot in New York – ONE DEGREE!). Music and dance are unfortunately too short, since director Craig Brewer puts his focus instead on the background of his characters, interchangeable.
So, one thumb, rebelling and trying to dance for Julianne Hough (muy caliente!) – the other thumb ready to be rammed up idea-free Hollywood’s arse-hole.
Excuse me while I watch “Intolerance” (which will be re-made soon, I’m SO sure).
Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium
P.S. “Terra Nova” has one flaw – no persons with a working mind train would ever bring teenagers to the 85 million year past. They mess shit up.
I’m not down with the remake. How are you going to top the dancing by Kevin Bacon’s dance double? You can’t!
I am with you Kimmo on Julianne Hough. Ah-ooo-ga. But I won’t be seeing this piece of shit.
I’m not going to say anything about Hollywood’s obvious and deplorable lack of originality. My comment is that when I first heard that Julianne Hough was cast in the movie, I assumed she would be playing a teacher or even the lead character’s mother (although that would be a bit of a stretch). But to me it’s an even bigger stretch that she’s supposed to play a 16- or 17-year old girl. Come on, movie producers, if you couldn’t find some fresh-faced REAL teenager to play the role, then don’t bother trying.
This is wise.
Thank goodness for grown men that she is not 16 or 17 and is actually 25 or so.
This is wiser.
LOG LINE:
PUSHIN’S HOW HE BUILT HIS NAME.
NOW HE WANTS TO LEAVE THE GAME!
PUSHER
(Return of Super Fly)
Screenplay
By
Jerome Ramel. Barber
PRIEST must both stand his ground and maneuver obstacles set
forth by mounting enemies as he strives for one last large
score in his attempt to leave the game of dealing cocaine.
PRIEST is a charismatic hustler endeavoring for one final
score in his effort to leave the drug game though it will not
be easy for this prince of the streets as he dodges a gauntlet
of corrupt police, envious dealers and two warring factions of
the Russian syndicates all of whom are eager to utilize his
talents or see him dead.
While in Mexico PRIEST is badly wounded after intervening in
an attempted assassination of known drug Zaire, JACINTO RIOS.
Months go by before PRIEST is able to travel back to New York;
and while RIOS has promised delivery of a large cocaine
shipment; PRIEST learns his friend FREDDIE D’AMATO the son of
an imprisoned Italian Mafia Boss was presumably murdered by
one of two rivaling Russian syndicates.
This pushes PRIEST into a corner triggering revenge, murder
and double-crosses threatening to upset the East Coasts drug
trafficking and possibly setting off a heated, deadly flash
point.
NOTE: PUSHER (Return of Super Fly) is the prequel to:
‘CASANOVA BROWN’
Good review. I have no idea if I’m going to see it or not. Maybe I’ll just see the old one on Netflix for free. It sounds like it’s the same movie but with different actors. Probably better dancing?
“From the oldest of times, people danced for a number of reasons. They danced in prayer… or so that their crops would be plentiful… or so their hunt would be good. And they danced to stay physically fit… and show their community spirit. And they danced to celebrate.” And that is the dancing we’re talking about. Aren’t we told in Psalm 149 “Praise ye the Lord. Sing unto the Lord a new song. Let them praise His name in the dance”?
As far as REMAKES GO! I’m from BOSTON, a DESERT STROM COMBAT VET, grew-up in the same neighborhood MARK WHAULBURG did DORCHESTER. After leaving the Army & going back to Boston one night after seeing one of the CRAPPIEST moves ever (can’t remember what it was) on one of the major 3 networks ABC,CBS, NBC… I told myself (HELL) if I KNEW how I could write something hella lot better that that! Two yrs later I moved to Los Angeles to LEARN how to WRITE SCREENPLAYS. Now I’ve written (two) that would be considered remakes ‘PUSHER'(Return of Super Fly’)& ‘SHAFT'(Los Angeles South American Connection)I’ve even made a VIDEO of me standing out on SUNSET BLVD & BEVERLY GLENN AVE standing on an island devider (in my MILITARY UNIFORM with POSTERS I’ve had made for those scripts along with others I’ve written… So yes I’ve got your BETTER REMAKES problem is I can’t seem to get anyone to give me an OPPERTUNITY!!… & that’s the PROBLEM with HOLLYWOOD those who are in the loop power whatever you want to call it don’t want to give others not in power or in the loop an OPPERTUNITY!;0(
Just going to point out that your Bacon Number isn’t 1. Personal interaction doesn’t count. Only onscreen roles in films count.