Puss In Boots

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

So “Shrek” is released on us, at one time.

Then more and more “Shreks” for the counting.

I was sickened… until the “Shrek” comes along and I became gay for a cat.

This cat I love so much?

Puss (which I just found out means “cat,” I was previously confused) in Boots!

Rico Suavẽ!

There was technology.

And technology is cool (except for my new iPhone – it weeps over Steve).

I digress.

This is called a new revolution in film.  Oscar-winning technology Fluid Animation System (FLU) has allowed the subtleties of facial expressions to convey the magic characters.  The motion of each hair molecule at the talking donkey obeyed the laws of high art and gravity.

The so-called “facial animation system” acted individually – in the computer were driven and character, and how this character is reflected in the muscles and skin – as if the entire face were playing for the same team.

Team Face.

“Smile!” each time gave new results.  The result was so absolute and real that the animators decided to take a little back – to keep the feeling of a fairy tale and not so real.

Nothing worse than toddlers screaming “Crap!  Real talking cat!  Real talking donkey!  Real ogre!  I have shat myself!”  And then they run screaming outside to the lobby and are abducted.

That is too real.  Really.

Ten years passed, and now an army of actors, festooned with electronic sensors, depicts a different animation of animals, computer animation is among the leaders in the global box office.

That and those goddamn sparkly vampires (when will the Twi-tards sickness pass over and leave us alone?).

It is now so great that it threatens to blow up the film from the inside and wholly divert his children to make a video game and the main specialties of multiplexes.  Which is cool – but not as cool like “Shark Night – 3D“ (I was wasted that day, yeehaw!).

Puss in Boots appeared in the second “Shrek” as an episodic character and two or three scenes pushed into the background and even a donkey and Shrek.

Antonio Banderas gave him his facial expressions and voice, cat dashing Spanish accent, and artists have come up with a brilliant cat.

There we see pleaded rounding the eye (swoon), they become bottomless (swooner), they reproached all our unjust world is so compelling that the frame broke on the world (swoonest), took place on the desks of the secretaries of the world, became the computer screen savers and symbol of the New Cinema.

I told you I was gay for a non-existing cat.

And it became clear that with this film about Puss, Shrek unexpectedly unearthed a gold mine.

The story?  Who gives a paska?  It is Puss in mother-effin’ Boots!!!

A quibble:  While a truly witty film could be obtained if the authors had relied on the mysterious world of cats, and then combined it with a jaded world of a human tales – would open up the abyss of the paradoxes (did I blow your mind?  I blew mine.).  But it only once managed to touch the mystery cat – this is when the cat begged for mercy, that in a moment to make us their slaves (did I say already that I was gay for this cat?).  They understand the price of his discovery, and now replicate the frame again and again.  His wait, they admire, but neither higher nor deeper jump is no longer possible.

And that is that… cat!

So, two thumbs straight in to the air – like the butt end of a cat when the scratching happens near the tail.

Just don’t look at the brown-eye.

Cute effect is ruined.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “Fringe”, wtf?!?  Come on, J.J. Abrams!  You already showed me your hate with the last season of “Lost” (yes, you hired showrunners with that eat paste) and now you do the same already again with the last season of “Fringe”?!?  I hate you more than Ryan Murphy!

P.S.S.  “Once Upon A Time”… thank you Father in Heaven!  I can think more dirty Ginnifer Goodwin thoughts!  I owe you, God.