The Words
With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen
For the critic of the film there is always the hope, “please Odin, let this be the one.
The great film of the year!”
Then the thoughts crawl into the reality space and think “at least be the one that entertains my brain and makes me think of the movie and not running with the screams out of the theater.”
Then the thoughts go to “please don’t let this movie be a fart in my mouth hole – I hope I put another bottle of Kossu in the freezer, just in case.”
Finally the thoughts are “Odin, if you end my life now at least the pain won’t last like that of “Transformers 3” – do I need sweet smoke from the dispensary to dull the horror ache and so I can also soothe my hurt with Cheetos?”
Crappy honest truth: 1st thoughts happen 2% of time, 2nd thoughts 10%, 3rd thoughts 65%, and 4th thoughts 23% (Intern – add up the numbers. I’m so high). The ratio is never to be betted on, yet I still take this paycheck.
I am a reviewer.
Today’s film? “The Words.”
“The Word” would have been better because it is shorter. But know, we are to suffer on “The Words.”
Plot? Too much. But like a Ukrainian nesting doll in the backwards. And not interesting, but not so bad for a fart in the mouth hole (my new ratings system!).
Spoiler Alerts!
We make start with the inside doll. An American soldier (Ben Barnes) who falls in love with a French barmaid (Nora Arnezeder) after one of the World Wars.
But this story is contained in doll #2 (number two – this is related to the fart) which is about Rory Jansen (Bradley Cooper – douche, but not like Shia) who writes a book that an award is put on, “The Window Tears.” Then another doll! The outside-est of the dolls.
This story is in the story of Clay Hammond (Dennis Quaid) and his book “The Words” (so clever!).
Olivia Wilde is involved, and doesn’t get naked. This made me sad.
BUT, in the #2 fart doll, Rory didn’t the writing of the book! Holy shit! Here comes Jeremy Irons!
Rory is in the big trouble.
End spoilers!
Go ahead and follow through on the spoiler reading. Then when the girlfriend makes you with eyes open watch this you can still sleep with your brain off.
Or think of the nakedness of Olivia Wilde that is not seen.
Whatever is for the floating of your boat.
For me, two thumbs just sitting like thumbs… thumbs staring at each other thinking “what the hell, thumb?”
Luckily for Kimmo, I found a Kossu flask in my jacket while this inside doll took up the screen. It was mostly full for 45 seconds, then mostly empty.
“The Words” was better for about 20 minutes.
Better yet? 3 hits of the sweet, sweet “Blue Dream” smoke.
And popcorn.
With that, one more brain attack by “Transformers 3′ can be handled.
Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium
P.S. Finally, that little mariachi elf from “America’s Got Talent” is gone. My hatred for him burned like white hot steel inside the Finnish sun on fire. It defined my existence. Without the elf and the hate my life is nothing. Until “The Voice.” Christina has the big ones. Two of them. Kimmo like.
Thank you Kimmo for watching these terrible movies so I don’t have to.
I happen to have seen this movie at the Sundance Film Festival, and it was by far the best film that I saw at the Festival. Everything about the movie was outstanding– the screenplay, the acting, the directing, the cinematography, the musical score, etc. It is really multiple stories that are all intricately connected. Although complex, it is told without confusion, a tribute to the writers and directors.
For a low budget, independent film to have assembled such an outstanding cast is the first clue that there is something special about this film. Bradley Cooper, Zoe Saldana, Jeremy Irons, Dennis Quaid, Olivia Wilde, Ben Barnes, Nora Arnezader, and numerous recognizable supporting cast members (Mike McKean, J. K. Simmons, Tony Hanna, …) are all excellent.
The love stories, which are essential components of the film, are all compelling, real, and moving; and Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana display their acting ability in their handling of the strong emotional conflicts and internal struggles that drive the story.
This is a film that will be getting Oscar nominations, and should be winning major awards!
Another brilliant review! I will stay awey from this POS.
I saw this movie too – a fart in my mouth hold is the perfect description!
I think they did not call the film “The Word,” because that might term is often reserved for The Holy Bible. Thank you for your review.
I respect your opinion of this movie, but couldn’t disagree with it more. The words is one of those movies that you think about on the way home from the theater and truly wonder about. The different stories and the mysterious ending leave the viewer wondering about this movie. I truly enjoyed this movie and appreciated needing to think about it to understand just how complex it is. “The Words” shows you how knowing different sides of the same story and seeing the aftermath can affect how someone sees a situation.
It’s a really good movie. It watches like a novel reads…which some people don’t like. It leaves you with a “huh?” reaction at the end, but after you process the story, it hit you. If you don’t like the movie, you may not have “gotten it”.