Fast & Furious 6
With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen
I remember once the confusion of the now.
In my head.
Years in the past, I wandered in the theater.
I saw the sign – “Fast and The Furious 5.”
“A cool new band!” I thought.
How much of the cool could be this singer Fast? Rock star name!
And The Furious Five? Double down the cool.
Then the confusion.
Awesome rock roll band is nowhere – instead very loud, very dumb film called “Fast & Furious 5.”
Oh, how much wishing I was doing for myself that “Fast & Furious 6” would really be the nowhere band of Fast made into real reality with an additional Furious.
No. Another very loud, very dumb film.
Plot?
Really? You care? Okay.
So the last one is in the front of your brain. Remember that… And it is precisely this last scene of the furious hammer action “Fast & Furious 5” linked onto “Fast & Furious 6” and knitting a functional, though not particularly exciting story about it.
In this Hobbs (The Rock – he smells what you’re cookin’!) shows up to Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian (Paul Walker), who have fled abroad from the grasp of U.S. authorities, and their dream of freedom living abroad, together, in love.
Brian is now father and makes it much more leisurely approach as Dom. After all, one has no more financial worries thanks to the coup in Brazil, but that is for other times.
But Hobbs, the steamroller in the service of crime, both will not lock up unexpectedly. Rather, he needs their help.
He is investigating Owen Shaw (Luke Evans), a mercenary who performs with his crew around the globe spectacular raids and currently the items of a “techno bomb” shit-storm maker that could turn off the communication of a crucial state for hours (they must have been looking at T.V’s “Revolution” – suck breeds suck).
He receives support from all of Letty (Michelle Rodriguez). There is certainly no question that Dom and Brian drum up their old team to put the craft Shaw, Letty to bring back to the family and to earn a pardon for past deeds.
Then…
VROOM!
SCREECH!
CRASH!
KABOOM!
AAARRRRGHHH!!!
AIRPLANE!
TANK!
HOT BUTT!
DOUBLE VROOM!
WHOOSH!
Then finally ZZZZZZZZZZ…
That is me – sleeping. So loud, this film, but noise is easily defeated by the sweet, sweet smoke.
I get it. I’m in the know. These things poop money into giant piles. I understand.
Word of advice to film crafter and makers – take some of the excess treasure and hire a writer of smart words and good ideas. Then very loud, very stupid money maker can be loud, fun money maker and I can be awake and my ears not be bleeding.
Think about this. Please.
Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium
P.S. “American Idol” is now almost to the death. We want White Guy With Guitar 6. You give us Candice Glover. And Nicki Minaj? The circus has called for it’s clown to come back! Ha! I win, you lose…
Man, if there was a band called Fast and The Furious Five I would buy their CD – twice.
Kimmo! This review is hi-larious. And not just cuz I’m high….
These movies are awesome. Hot girls. Cool Cars. Cool cars racing. Explosions. Action. What else could you want (if you said plot and acting you clearly walked into the wrong movie, go back out and rent the South Park joke known as Brokeback Mountain).
Screw you all! I saw a pre-screening yesterday and it was awesome and highly entertaining! Highly recommended whether you have watched the whole series or not.
Yeah we get it the plot sucks. We know that. Its a crappy plot amped up worse the the nos flowing through the cars and the continue to break rules of physics worse then the previous movies.
But people will still see it.
It has awesome cars and action for the guys
and the ladies can swoon over the enormous guns that Diesel and Johnson sport.
the end. 20 bucks spent. Entertainment enjoyed.
It’s loud and noisy and makes little sense BUT the action sequences are not CGI sequences like so many other films. Cars exist! The action sequences are not animated cartoons like so many other action movies.
I’m convinced that’s at least part of the appeal here, because we have all gotten a little tired of computer graphics in movies.
This movie was cool but I think 7 is going to be hot garbage. But I must say that its done a good job to keep me hooked because normally I dont watch movies with such glaring continuity issues like Tokyo Drift having to be set after 2013 yet the cars seen on the street and the IPOD are early 2000s. I’m just guessing these continuity issues will be further exposed in 7 which is the film that comes after Tokyo Drift in the chronological order of the series.