Andrew Form – Behind the Proscenium

The Purge: Anarchy

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

There was the time.

Russians.

Staring at border places.

“We are cool, with big meat,” was the Russian brain.

Then to war they went.

“Fuck you, Stalin Bitches” said Finland.

We were the winners.

1940? Finland awesomeness.

Russians? They thought “Was that our Purge?”

We Finns – we said just suck, Soviet pussies.

We made you dead.

We purge you! Assholes…

That was the first real Purge.

Now? Cinema says, even better than the first purge.

In first, there is wuss (Ethan Hawke) with sucky family (if in real my child life let in bad, the child would be dead in 5 minutes. Harsh, but fair – I would kill him myself).

Things were strange. And then now is now.

Time for new thoughts – as much as the kossu makes my brain great, as much as the sweet, sweet smoke make life, life-like. I have never talked to you Yanks of the Gin Long Drink. The best of Finland. Most times I am for the Drunkening. But when not, the Long Drink is for me.

And you.

Oh, the movie.

I was ready to quiver with hate. Then, son of a bitch, the cinema movie is good.

With politics.

Nice family (Carmen Ejogo and hot daughter Zoe Soul) don’t want for Purging.

Super cool guy (Frank Grillo) wants for saving everyone.

Maybe.

Shit, I want nothing to give away.

But, then comes thought things that makes this a movie of good:

Fuck the 1%.

The ones who want to purge are the rich. Because the rich, they want to purge the poor.

Purge = kill.

Shock of all shock – we will trickle down death!

Thanks, Alzheimer’s Ronnie!

Greatest President ever!

If by great I mean “rich get richer” and “fuck everyone else” you psychopath.

Who voted for this crazy fuck? You?

The rest of the world shakes its head stem.

But movie? Shocked is my head.

First, there was interest to be had. Then, we see what we thought from Movie 1.

Then… I want to give no more away (like a Republicans to the middle class!).

At least we finally have a Rand Paul world: Libertarian anarchy!

Don’t like somebody? Shoot him.

Don’t like a thought process? Shoot those who are thinking!

And never, ever, compromise. And Alito will make it law.

Go SCOTUS, go SCOTUS, GO!!!

Compromise, and the hope of governing, makes you a goddamn socialist.

Trying to get along? A goddamn socialist.

Trying to do the right thing? Well, you know… Effin socialist.

So, as a movie? Damn! My eyeballs were all “damn, what a great movie!” The later, my brain was like “damn, what a great movie!”

As good as the Ape Movie? Maybe.

A good movie? Yes.

So see this thing. Go in thinking that it is not the shit, but really shit.

This I did, and it is better than shit. Shit surprise is the best!

——–

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. I am right. Make on the comments. I am still right. Assholes.

Watch Kimmo’s review right here:

The Purge

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

I lost at betting.

Son of a bitch.

“The Purge” was in my thinking mind in the past a game on video.

I ran in the night, a gun as my hand-end, blood lust making me lust –yes, LUST, to kill Ethan Hawke.

I had only one night, and my violence, like Taco Bell, would give me “The Purge,” but with less mess.

No. I was thinking Unreal Tournament 2004 (never gets the olds!).

In my “sweet, sweet smoke life” (high, who haven’t read past Kimmo) I enter the arena and all I am to kill is Ethan Hawke.

Everyone or thing that runs in my perfect mind is Ethan Hawke.

“Head Shot!”

Ethan.

“Multi-Kill!”

A shit-ton of Ethans.

“Rampage!”

The entire Republic of Ethan Hawke… Dead.

But “The Purge” is a movie, but not even real. The greatest disappointment.

Review? If I must.

Plot? Sure. In ten years, America is back in the 1750s. Morality is cool because everyone has the job to just live.

Remember “Rollerball”? The good one? 1975?

“In the not too distant future, wars will no longer exist – but there will be… ROLLERBALL!”

Cue Bach.

In the not too distant future, crime will no longer exist – but there will be… a low budget movie trying to make my mind believe that those on the crack will not rob suburban people except on gang-banger Christmas – or “The Purge.”

Ethan Hawke is a rich guy. He is married to Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey). The Purge is a yearly festival where there is corn dogs and candy – plus the unlimited killing and illegal parking.

Ethan’s children let a man with no home (sad) into the house during the fun. Pants-around-the-knees-people and others who should be schooling want the homeless man to end up “Head Shot!”

I start to run with my RPG and look for Ethan Hawke!

Dammit!

Movie, not game.

Only Kossu can sooth my mind now. What in Hell’s name is happening to the thoughts that normally roost with ease on the stick that is my mind perch?

Game. Movie. Game. Movie.

Nothing and everything is so real that my reality wants nothing more than Cheetos. And a large coke. The smoke is talking.

Thank you, sweet smoke!

Okay. Two thumbs right on up there. Any thought from my brain stem that remembers me on the “Rollerball” (the good one) gets everything up in my book. Yes, everything – remember Ella?

No? And your mouth tells me you are a movie fan… Disappoint. See “Rollerball.”

Now, as my bet was for losing, I must watch “Moulin Rouge” again. Sober.

Ethan Hawke – please kill me with your RPG. Fair is fair.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Heidi Klum on “America’s Got Talent”? How about Heidi Klum on Kimmo Mustonenen? Please Odin! I would take that over Tuukka Rask (Finnish brother!) winning the Stanley Cup. I am ashamed of this –yet I stand with it.

Heidi, my Kossu, my smoke, and little Kimmo wait for you…

Tag: Andrew Form

The Purge: Anarchy [REVIEW]

The Purge [REVIEW]