Deon Boyce – Behind the Proscenium

July 18, 2014July 22, 2014

The Purge: Anarchy [REVIEW]

The Purge: Anarchy

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

There was the time.

Russians.

Staring at border places.

“We are cool, with big meat,” was the Russian brain.

Then to war they went.

“Fuck you, Stalin Bitches” said Finland.

We were the winners.

1940? Finland awesomeness.

Russians? They thought “Was that our Purge?”

We Finns – we said just suck, Soviet pussies.

We made you dead.

We purge you! Assholes…

That was the first real Purge.

Now? Cinema says, even better than the first purge.

In first, there is wuss (Ethan Hawke) with sucky family (if in real my child life let in bad, the child would be dead in 5 minutes. Harsh, but fair – I would kill him myself).

Things were strange. And then now is now.

Time for new thoughts – as much as the kossu makes my brain great, as much as the sweet, sweet smoke make life, life-like. I have never talked to you Yanks of the Gin Long Drink. The best of Finland. Most times I am for the Drunkening. But when not, the Long Drink is for me.

And you.

Oh, the movie.

I was ready to quiver with hate. Then, son of a bitch, the cinema movie is good.

With politics.

Nice family (Carmen Ejogo and hot daughter Zoe Soul) don’t want for Purging.

Super cool guy (Frank Grillo) wants for saving everyone.

Maybe.

Shit, I want nothing to give away.

But, then comes thought things that makes this a movie of good:

Fuck the 1%.

The ones who want to purge are the rich. Because the rich, they want to purge the poor.

Purge = kill.

Shock of all shock – we will trickle down death!

Thanks, Alzheimer’s Ronnie!

Greatest President ever!

If by great I mean “rich get richer” and “fuck everyone else” you psychopath.

Who voted for this crazy fuck? You?

The rest of the world shakes its head stem.

But movie? Shocked is my head.

First, there was interest to be had. Then, we see what we thought from Movie 1.

Then… I want to give no more away (like a Republicans to the middle class!).

At least we finally have a Rand Paul world: Libertarian anarchy!

Don’t like somebody? Shoot him.

Don’t like a thought process? Shoot those who are thinking!

And never, ever, compromise. And Alito will make it law.

Go SCOTUS, go SCOTUS, GO!!!

Compromise, and the hope of governing, makes you a goddamn socialist.

Trying to get along? A goddamn socialist.

Trying to do the right thing? Well, you know… Effin socialist.

So, as a movie? Damn! My eyeballs were all “damn, what a great movie!” The later, my brain was like “damn, what a great movie!”

As good as the Ape Movie? Maybe.

A good movie? Yes.

So see this thing. Go in thinking that it is not the shit, but really shit.

This I did, and it is better than shit. Shit surprise is the best!

——–

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. I am right. Make on the comments. I am still right. Assholes.

Watch Kimmo’s review right here:

June 7, 2013

The Purge [REVIEW]

The Purge

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

I lost at betting.

Son of a bitch.

“The Purge” was in my thinking mind in the past a game on video.

I ran in the night, a gun as my hand-end, blood lust making me lust –yes, LUST, to kill Ethan Hawke.

I had only one night, and my violence, like Taco Bell, would give me “The Purge,” but with less mess.

No. I was thinking Unreal Tournament 2004 (never gets the olds!).

In my “sweet, sweet smoke life” (high, who haven’t read past Kimmo) I enter the arena and all I am to kill is Ethan Hawke.

Everyone or thing that runs in my perfect mind is Ethan Hawke.

“Head Shot!”

Ethan.

“Multi-Kill!”

A shit-ton of Ethans.

“Rampage!”

The entire Republic of Ethan Hawke… Dead.

But “The Purge” is a movie, but not even real. The greatest disappointment.

Review? If I must.

Plot? Sure. In ten years, America is back in the 1750s. Morality is cool because everyone has the job to just live.

Remember “Rollerball”? The good one? 1975?

“In the not too distant future, wars will no longer exist – but there will be… ROLLERBALL!”

Cue Bach.

In the not too distant future, crime will no longer exist – but there will be… a low budget movie trying to make my mind believe that those on the crack will not rob suburban people except on gang-banger Christmas – or “The Purge.”

Ethan Hawke is a rich guy. He is married to Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey). The Purge is a yearly festival where there is corn dogs and candy – plus the unlimited killing and illegal parking.

Ethan’s children let a man with no home (sad) into the house during the fun. Pants-around-the-knees-people and others who should be schooling want the homeless man to end up “Head Shot!”

I start to run with my RPG and look for Ethan Hawke!

Dammit!

Movie, not game.

Only Kossu can sooth my mind now. What in Hell’s name is happening to the thoughts that normally roost with ease on the stick that is my mind perch?

Game. Movie. Game. Movie.

Nothing and everything is so real that my reality wants nothing more than Cheetos. And a large coke. The smoke is talking.

Thank you, sweet smoke!

Okay. Two thumbs right on up there. Any thought from my brain stem that remembers me on the “Rollerball” (the good one) gets everything up in my book. Yes, everything – remember Ella?

No? And your mouth tells me you are a movie fan… Disappoint. See “Rollerball.”

Now, as my bet was for losing, I must watch “Moulin Rouge” again. Sober.

Ethan Hawke – please kill me with your RPG. Fair is fair.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Heidi Klum on “America’s Got Talent”? How about Heidi Klum on Kimmo Mustonenen? Please Odin! I would take that over Tuukka Rask (Finnish brother!) winning the Stanley Cup. I am ashamed of this –yet I stand with it.

Heidi, my Kossu, my smoke, and little Kimmo wait for you…

September 9, 2011September 9, 2011

Warrior [REVIEW]

“Warrior”

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Things are getting heavy.

Summer is at an almost end.

If not for 3D Sharks, I would be singing the award movie song – like internet Karaoke.

Not just yet!

Ass kicking flies from the screen – and into your head.

And it has a name:

“Warrior”.

From time to time, by the merest chance, you come across a film carried by the combat sport that nevertheless manages to find the right balance between drama and action and more importantly (if you’re REALLY lucky), with more drama than action that it becomes a backdrop for everything else.

And then the action has it’s own drama, which makes the action dramatic-er. For it is only when the fighting is justified by a compelling scenario that they become emotionally more intense and rewarding.

Right? Right.

“Warrior” refers to a world of mixed martial arts where the gladiators of the modern clash in a hexagonal cage both feet on the ground, due to gravity.

The creation of an international tournament imagination, “Sparta”, will on the same trajectory Paddy (Nick Nolte), Brendan (Joel Edgerton) and Tom Conlon (Tom Hardy), which are all part of a family torn apart and removed in the past through an excess of favoritism and neglect.

I’m not afraid to say that.

Tom resurfaced in the company to get the help of his father, recovering alcoholic in passing (not recovering in real life), to the physical and mental training for participation in the tournament.

In parallel, Brendan returns sweat in the halls of fighting in the hope of winning the award of $5 million to restore interest in life to his family in need.

I could restore my own interest in life for much less that $5 million – settling for $1.5. Maybe just $1.

However, as would more or less expected, although these two mad dogs will face some of the toughest fighters that MMA has created, the real battle appears to be in them. At each other.

Paddy is fighting for the forgiveness of his son, Tom is fighting to prove to himself that he is strong physically and mentally, and Brendan is struggling to reconcile with his family.

I was fighting the popcorn (note to theater managers – melted butter flavored Crisco is not a substitute for real butter. My mouth is stuck together still with a bad 70’s bathhouse flavor.).

Each brother has his own reasons respectable to face combat, reasons that will divide the audience when it comes time to choose to support one or other of the brother’s finalists.

For its part, the scenario is almost epic, presented in a very committed. Almost epic. Remember this.

Gradually, through his dialogues, we see the past events of this family torn apart and motivations of characters to keep such hatred in them are revealed gradually. This drama is of course made possible and given credibility by the immense talent of these three headliners.

All three, each in their ways, infusing their characters an unwavering charisma. Wavering charisma just wouldn’t cut it and makes sit-coms intolerable.

Nick Nolte had not been touched since the long, very long years (literally – his last mug-shot has him stuck to the internet porn now, and luckily it is free), Tom Hardy, appearing more monstrous than ever physically (biceps!), proves once again that the method of the Method Acting has not finished dazzle us, and in between, Joel Edgerton has not to be ashamed of its performance even if he has to work extra hard not to give way completely opposite to its partners, and in doing so, not suck too much.

Only on the horizon, the role of Jennifer Morrison is under-exploited (Captain Kirk’s mom!) and Nick Nolte seems to have been somewhat forgotten in the last third.

The final could also have been treated differently but how to avoid clichés with a subject that is a cliché in itself (two brothers confronting end up in the same tournament). But a cliché used in the service of a cliché within a cliché? Genius.

Therefore it is appropriate to say that overall, the director is doing very well.

Although much entertained (still angry at the popcorn – screw you, Crisco!) my thumbs aren’t engaged to the level of my brain stem.

Still, the thumbs are fighting gravity to the sky.

“Warrior” is cool.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. My mind wanders around Patty Smyth. This would make a better movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIDaBF8LILk

The dancers know Bob Fosse Kung Fu!!!!!!

P.P.S. (What is the rule?) Fall TV! Fringe in two weeks! Where is Peter? Or… where isn’t he?!? Guesses are appreciated!