The Wolverine [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael Horvath

The Wolverine

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

There is much to fall out of my brain and skipping my mouth through straight to typing.

First, “The Wolverine.” I will review it. I promise this right into your face.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael HorvathSeconded, the goddamn Royalty child.

Is he to be Luke Skywalker?

Is he to be Jonas Salk?

Will he be able to stuff delicious sausage in his kitchen someday, like cousin Raimo or family friend Petteri?

Maybe all.

Most likely none.

It is a little human squirm worm in the now – all poopy and drooly.

CNN, let the tiny King clone grow into something before filling my 50 inch plasma with nothing.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael HorvathThank you.

But the Royal sister in law. Pippen.

I would see her naked and stuff her with my own delicious sausage.

I believe such an action is the way to her heart.

Her royal butt is a national treasure and must be preserved in the Tower or wherever they place the royal butts for public viewing.

Third, why at Comic-Con are there very few for comics to see?

Not crappy “I am standing in front of a mike opening and boy are my arms tired for flapping comic”

No.

Comic BOOK.

Comic-Con needs to have the name “Movies That Nerds Will Squirt On-Com” in the now time. Because the comic book part slides away into the place where A-Ha lives.

Like Purgatory.

Or Chatsworth (L.A. humor FTW!!!).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael HorvathThe Jack Kirby panel was awesome, I must say once or twice. Not Justice League Movie blah, blah, blah.

So suck it, nerds.

Oh, and Batman vs. Superman? You mean the movie Tim Burton should have made slightly after the Big Bang event of too big movies in my childhood?

“The Dark Night Returns” is still waiting for the filming to be in its now (graphic novel – 1986 – “I’ve got the home stretch all to myself…”).

Where have you gone, Frank Miller? Make it happen!

Damn! That was a good feeling for me!

With words my mind can lance the icky boil of its own making. The mind cluster thoughts that make me yell at my cat.

Yet, she never listens or makes mad.

Good kitty.

Ooze, mind boil. Ooze. My cat needs no more loud words.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael Horvath“The Wolverine.”

I almost had to forget why we are here.

I saw “X-Men Origins – Wolverine.” I thought the same was to be, but no. There is now Japan, and when there is not Anime.

Boy howdy, without Anime Japan can be cool.

This is good.

The Kossu and sweet, sweet smoke had me to believe that the before times were the now times (at the same time!  Mind blown.)

No. The more things are the same the more they may change.

Plot? Is anybody there? Does anybody care? Does anybody see what I review?

Encountering each other once they were in Nagasaki during the atomic bomb (in the past) are Logan/Wolverine (Hugh Jackman – veiny muscles!!!) with important Japanese guy (Important Japanese Actor – I was not racist, just higher than Asgard – still am), is in the apocalyptic destruction of violence for a fleeting moment, an impression of the curse and blessing of Wolverine’s superhuman self-healing forces.

Atom bomb?

Yo, I’m Wolverine, bitch (thank you Jesse Pinkman!)!!!

This capability provides Yashida (Important Actor is Haruhiko Yamanouchi, HA, apologize to Kimmo now!) to take on himself, so that his old friend can have a normal life with “an ordinary death” – and he himself immortality.

Son of a bitch.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kate Middleton, Pippa MIddleton, Prince George of Cambridge, Comic Con, Jack Kirby, George Miller, Tim Burton, Jonas Salk, The Wolverine, James Mangold, Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie, Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hiroyuki Sanada, Svetlana Khodchenkova, Brian Tee, Hal Yamanouchi, Will Yun Lee, Ken Yamamura, Famke Janssen, Nobutaka Aoyagi, Seiji Funamoto, Nobuaki Kakuda, Sarah Naylor-Liddell, J Remlton, Andy Owens, Geoff Burke, Joshua Remilton, Yaeko Kimura, Ryula Kimura, Briden Starr, Marla Lukasheva, William Takayanagi-Temm, Erich Chickashi Linzbichler, Yoshinori Fukushige, Hiroshi Kasuga, Kosuke Masano, Keiko Matsumoto, Yumiko Nakamura, Garret Sato, Yoji Tatsuta, James Fraser, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, Luke Webb, Joseph M Caracciolo, Stan Lee, Hutch Parker, Lauren Shuler Donner, Marco Beltrami, Ross Emery, Michael McCusker, Yoko Narahashi, Francois Audouy, Ian Gracie, Riki Nakanishi, Michael Turner, Isis Mussenden, Kelly Allison, Anne Bruning, Aaron Downing, Motoki Ishida, Nadia Paine, Sam Alvelo, Debbie Antoniou, Drew Bailey, Hideaki Jimbo, Yoshi Ando, Maggie Baron, Danielle Blakey, Jason Bogard, James Bramley, Susannah Brengel, Kate Buckman, Kit Conners, Jessica Derhammer, Pru Donovan, Jim Dunlap, Aleisha Rose Groth, Colleen Hanafin, Jordan Haro, Charles Harrington, Koichiro Iwagami, Ronin Jonathan, Jonny Kennerley, Oscar Knott, Amy Libowsky, Lynnette Lai Suet Lynn, Ross Maloney, Lance Masa, Phillip Roope, Xiao Sun, Roberto Tarrats, Molly Tompkins, Satoko Tsuji, Taris Tyler, Ryan Unicomb, Minn Vo, Sheila Waldron, Natacha Williams, Lesley Wise, Carl Wood, Shane Wynter, Michael HorvathWolverine hesitates long enough to burial Yashida whose granddaughter and sole heiress Mariko (Tao Okamoto) has desperately needed a seemingly invulnerable watch dog.

That’s it. Dammit.

The Kossu says “no more GD plot – it brings back the flashbacks.”

I’m done.

My brain cells are back at Comic-Con, hearing nerds argue over which Princess Leia was more for boner eruption.

Obviously, the one in glasses. But only those that had a prescription. Fake glasses are the suck and make a loser.

Like a fake wheelchair. Not cool.

Except, I guess, for line cutting at the land of Disney. I am ashamed for doing it…

So, two thumbs… UP! Like my bone.

Crazy.

Famke Janssen alone is my magnificent queen! Two hot old chicks with their asses making to kick in a row (see “R.I.P.D.” review from last week, I will not stop you – Mary-Louise Parker is waiting for your eyes for her to see her) is summer movie greatness.

Finally, and no CGI needed. I’m ready for my “Pacific Rim” job.  Heh, heh, heh.

You go, girls.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “Under The Dome” from great to “dog butt scoot carpet stain” in four weeks. It took “Lost” six seasons to ruin the rug that was my senses. Congrats, Under the Dumb. You are the Oreck Vacuum of suck.

The Watch [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Watch, Akiva Schaffer, Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Avoade, Rosemarie DeWitt, Will Forte, Mel Rodriguez, Doug Jones, Erin MOriarty, Nicholas Braun, , R. Lee Ermery, Joe Nunez, Liz Cackowski, Johnny Pemberton, Sharon Gee, Eric Goins, Robert Sibley, Grace Froneberger, Bonnie Silver, Jill Jane Clements, Paul Barlow, Thomas Elliott, Sean Goulding, Amy Napier Viteri, Flax Dame, Ryan Girard, Katie Kneeland, Ted Huckabee, Jeremiah Williams, Ethan Shapanka, Marla Malcolm, Lindsey Coley, LaDonna Allison, Andy Samberg, Joma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, Cathy Shim, Carissa Capobianco, Kelsey Talley, Melia Talley, Patricia French, Erinn Hayes, Zack Mines, Emilee Yuve Sikes, Lisa M. Barfield, William J. Barry, William Belli, Candace Blanchard, Hillary Brant, Canute Brown-Morgan, Miller Carbon, Eric Croas, Joshua Andrew Davies, Kathryn Dickerson, Derek Ryan Duke, Hanna Frankel, Jon Gould, Jonathan Hart, Bradford Haynes, Kristopher Higgins, Landon Hoffman, Kathlene Huslin, Bonnie JOhnson, Cait Johnson, Zack Kibria, Cassidy Layden, Grace Layden, Michael D. Layden, Todd Maynor, Ramona McGowan, Jaquail E. Myers, Jade Nicolette, Bill Pacer, Pete Pelfrey, Denise Pereira, Taylor Prezzano, Benjamin Reed, Timothy J. Richardson, Joel Rogers, Valeri Rogers, Harley Shelhammer, Liz Smallwood, Alexander Isaiah Thomas, Jave Tyroff, Justin Wheelon, Nicolas Wolf, Jacqueline Marie Zwick, Blondel Aidoo, Monica Levinson, Shawn Levy, Tom McNulty, Bill Rosenberg, Christophe Beck, Barry Peterson, Dean Zimmerman, Alyssa Weisberg, Doug Meerdink, Cindy Carr, Wendy Chuck, Chris Dowell, Noelle Green, Monica Levinson, Adam McCarthy, Robert West, Jack Gill, Eric Glasser, Robert Hoffman, Simeon Jones, James LaRocca, Stephen W. Moore, Kendall Nichols, Katie Pruitt, Paige Adair, Bill barnes, Dann Brauckmann, SEan Britts, James Carson, Sandi Cook, Jack Gill, Andrew Rush, Greg Wattkis, W. Aeric Adama,s Lauren Aparicio, Gaytra Arnold, Nicole Baker, Phillip Banks, Mark Behar, Jason Bogard, Justin Campbell, Joann Connolly, Marcus Cooley, Dustin DellaVecchia, Ethan Duff, Matthew Eldridge, Vincent Farrell, Ethan Firestone, Clint Fumanti, Gail Hunter, Les Morgan, Stephanie Pauli, Thomas Polleri, Ethan Shapanka, Paula Stier, Kathryn Tamblyn, Eric Thompson, Beau Turpin, Pablo Velez, Steve Viola, John Weber, Townson Wells, Mari Wilson

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Watch, Akiva Schaffer, Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Avoade, Rosemarie DeWitt, Will Forte, Mel Rodriguez, Doug Jones, Erin MOriarty, Nicholas Braun, , R. Lee Ermery, Joe Nunez, Liz Cackowski, Johnny Pemberton, Sharon Gee, Eric Goins, Robert Sibley, Grace Froneberger, Bonnie Silver, Jill Jane Clements, Paul Barlow, Thomas Elliott, Sean Goulding, Amy Napier Viteri, Flax Dame, Ryan Girard, Katie Kneeland, Ted Huckabee, Jeremiah Williams, Ethan Shapanka, Marla Malcolm, Lindsey Coley, LaDonna Allison, Andy Samberg, Joma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, Cathy Shim, Carissa Capobianco, Kelsey Talley, Melia Talley, Patricia French, Erinn Hayes, Zack Mines, Emilee Yuve Sikes, Lisa M. Barfield, William J. Barry, William Belli, Candace Blanchard, Hillary Brant, Canute Brown-Morgan, Miller Carbon, Eric Croas, Joshua Andrew Davies, Kathryn Dickerson, Derek Ryan Duke, Hanna Frankel, Jon Gould, Jonathan Hart, Bradford Haynes, Kristopher Higgins, Landon Hoffman, Kathlene Huslin, Bonnie JOhnson, Cait Johnson, Zack Kibria, Cassidy Layden, Grace Layden, Michael D. Layden, Todd Maynor, Ramona McGowan, Jaquail E. Myers, Jade Nicolette, Bill Pacer, Pete Pelfrey, Denise Pereira, Taylor Prezzano, Benjamin Reed, Timothy J. Richardson, Joel Rogers, Valeri Rogers, Harley Shelhammer, Liz Smallwood, Alexander Isaiah Thomas, Jave Tyroff, Justin Wheelon, Nicolas Wolf, Jacqueline Marie Zwick, Blondel Aidoo, Monica Levinson, Shawn Levy, Tom McNulty, Bill Rosenberg, Christophe Beck, Barry Peterson, Dean Zimmerman, Alyssa Weisberg, Doug Meerdink, Cindy Carr, Wendy Chuck, Chris Dowell, Noelle Green, Monica Levinson, Adam McCarthy, Robert West, Jack Gill, Eric Glasser, Robert Hoffman, Simeon Jones, James LaRocca, Stephen W. Moore, Kendall Nichols, Katie Pruitt, Paige Adair, Bill barnes, Dann Brauckmann, SEan Britts, James Carson, Sandi Cook, Jack Gill, Andrew Rush, Greg Wattkis, W. Aeric Adama,s Lauren Aparicio, Gaytra Arnold, Nicole Baker, Phillip Banks, Mark Behar, Jason Bogard, Justin Campbell, Joann Connolly, Marcus Cooley, Dustin DellaVecchia, Ethan Duff, Matthew Eldridge, Vincent Farrell, Ethan Firestone, Clint Fumanti, Gail Hunter, Les Morgan, Stephanie Pauli, Thomas Polleri, Ethan Shapanka, Paula Stier, Kathryn Tamblyn, Eric Thompson, Beau Turpin, Pablo Velez, Steve Viola, John Weber, Townson Wells, Mari Wilson The Watch

With Wit, Reviewed by Kimmo Mustonenen

The times that movies are not good are the long times.

We sit and wait.

Something must be better.

If not a plot or a funny, will the smoke make the bad the good?

Will an end come that is better than the beginning?

We hope.

We wait.

Mostly in vain.

Such it is with this dog poo stuck in the waffle tread of my cool Wolverines. It smells, it adheres and refuses to go away.

With a stick I dig, little flecks of “The Watch” leave my brain thoughts and flop to my carpet.

Then more for the digging of movie crap off of my sole.

And yet the smell of “The Watch” lives on up my nose-hole.

Can I not rid myself of the stink cloud?  Perhaps shots of Kossu will clean my brain with sweet, sweet “I forget.”

But no.

What is seen cannot be unseen.  What is smelled is forever in my nose front face.

Dammit.

I will put Kossu in my neti-pot and flush my mucus creators forever.

Who needs smell when smell is now always crap?  Not Kimmo, that is sure!

Plot?  I guess.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Watch, Akiva Schaffer, Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Avoade, Rosemarie DeWitt, Will Forte, Mel Rodriguez, Doug Jones, Erin MOriarty, Nicholas Braun, , R. Lee Ermery, Joe Nunez, Liz Cackowski, Johnny Pemberton, Sharon Gee, Eric Goins, Robert Sibley, Grace Froneberger, Bonnie Silver, Jill Jane Clements, Paul Barlow, Thomas Elliott, Sean Goulding, Amy Napier Viteri, Flax Dame, Ryan Girard, Katie Kneeland, Ted Huckabee, Jeremiah Williams, Ethan Shapanka, Marla Malcolm, Lindsey Coley, LaDonna Allison, Andy Samberg, Joma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, Cathy Shim, Carissa Capobianco, Kelsey Talley, Melia Talley, Patricia French, Erinn Hayes, Zack Mines, Emilee Yuve Sikes, Lisa M. Barfield, William J. Barry, William Belli, Candace Blanchard, Hillary Brant, Canute Brown-Morgan, Miller Carbon, Eric Croas, Joshua Andrew Davies, Kathryn Dickerson, Derek Ryan Duke, Hanna Frankel, Jon Gould, Jonathan Hart, Bradford Haynes, Kristopher Higgins, Landon Hoffman, Kathlene Huslin, Bonnie JOhnson, Cait Johnson, Zack Kibria, Cassidy Layden, Grace Layden, Michael D. Layden, Todd Maynor, Ramona McGowan, Jaquail E. Myers, Jade Nicolette, Bill Pacer, Pete Pelfrey, Denise Pereira, Taylor Prezzano, Benjamin Reed, Timothy J. Richardson, Joel Rogers, Valeri Rogers, Harley Shelhammer, Liz Smallwood, Alexander Isaiah Thomas, Jave Tyroff, Justin Wheelon, Nicolas Wolf, Jacqueline Marie Zwick, Blondel Aidoo, Monica Levinson, Shawn Levy, Tom McNulty, Bill Rosenberg, Christophe Beck, Barry Peterson, Dean Zimmerman, Alyssa Weisberg, Doug Meerdink, Cindy Carr, Wendy Chuck, Chris Dowell, Noelle Green, Monica Levinson, Adam McCarthy, Robert West, Jack Gill, Eric Glasser, Robert Hoffman, Simeon Jones, James LaRocca, Stephen W. Moore, Kendall Nichols, Katie Pruitt, Paige Adair, Bill barnes, Dann Brauckmann, SEan Britts, James Carson, Sandi Cook, Jack Gill, Andrew Rush, Greg Wattkis, W. Aeric Adama,s Lauren Aparicio, Gaytra Arnold, Nicole Baker, Phillip Banks, Mark Behar, Jason Bogard, Justin Campbell, Joann Connolly, Marcus Cooley, Dustin DellaVecchia, Ethan Duff, Matthew Eldridge, Vincent Farrell, Ethan Firestone, Clint Fumanti, Gail Hunter, Les Morgan, Stephanie Pauli, Thomas Polleri, Ethan Shapanka, Paula Stier, Kathryn Tamblyn, Eric Thompson, Beau Turpin, Pablo Velez, Steve Viola, John Weber, Townson Wells, Mari WilsonBen Stiller is anal control freak at Costco.  Murder!  Skinned corpse!

Then Vince Vaughn (bloated like a drunken Swede) who is more for the party (shock!), less for the funny (how many years since “Swingers”?  Too many).

Jonah Hill has returned to the fat and is now again funny (well, for this movie anyway) and angry because he is not a cop.

Then there is an English black guy (Richard Ayoade) who deserved to be in better cinema, but must have done something to be punished here.

Free Richard Ayoade!

These wacky misfits are the neighborhood watch!

Zany!

They have an adventure!  Aliens!

Dick jokes!  Alien dick jokes!

So much bad.  So much.

What have I done wrong to deserve this?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo on Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, The Watch, Akiva Schaffer, Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Avoade, Rosemarie DeWitt, Will Forte, Mel Rodriguez, Doug Jones, Erin MOriarty, Nicholas Braun, , R. Lee Ermery, Joe Nunez, Liz Cackowski, Johnny Pemberton, Sharon Gee, Eric Goins, Robert Sibley, Grace Froneberger, Bonnie Silver, Jill Jane Clements, Paul Barlow, Thomas Elliott, Sean Goulding, Amy Napier Viteri, Flax Dame, Ryan Girard, Katie Kneeland, Ted Huckabee, Jeremiah Williams, Ethan Shapanka, Marla Malcolm, Lindsey Coley, LaDonna Allison, Andy Samberg, Joma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, Cathy Shim, Carissa Capobianco, Kelsey Talley, Melia Talley, Patricia French, Erinn Hayes, Zack Mines, Emilee Yuve Sikes, Lisa M. Barfield, William J. Barry, William Belli, Candace Blanchard, Hillary Brant, Canute Brown-Morgan, Miller Carbon, Eric Croas, Joshua Andrew Davies, Kathryn Dickerson, Derek Ryan Duke, Hanna Frankel, Jon Gould, Jonathan Hart, Bradford Haynes, Kristopher Higgins, Landon Hoffman, Kathlene Huslin, Bonnie JOhnson, Cait Johnson, Zack Kibria, Cassidy Layden, Grace Layden, Michael D. Layden, Todd Maynor, Ramona McGowan, Jaquail E. Myers, Jade Nicolette, Bill Pacer, Pete Pelfrey, Denise Pereira, Taylor Prezzano, Benjamin Reed, Timothy J. Richardson, Joel Rogers, Valeri Rogers, Harley Shelhammer, Liz Smallwood, Alexander Isaiah Thomas, Jave Tyroff, Justin Wheelon, Nicolas Wolf, Jacqueline Marie Zwick, Blondel Aidoo, Monica Levinson, Shawn Levy, Tom McNulty, Bill Rosenberg, Christophe Beck, Barry Peterson, Dean Zimmerman, Alyssa Weisberg, Doug Meerdink, Cindy Carr, Wendy Chuck, Chris Dowell, Noelle Green, Monica Levinson, Adam McCarthy, Robert West, Jack Gill, Eric Glasser, Robert Hoffman, Simeon Jones, James LaRocca, Stephen W. Moore, Kendall Nichols, Katie Pruitt, Paige Adair, Bill barnes, Dann Brauckmann, SEan Britts, James Carson, Sandi Cook, Jack Gill, Andrew Rush, Greg Wattkis, W. Aeric Adama,s Lauren Aparicio, Gaytra Arnold, Nicole Baker, Phillip Banks, Mark Behar, Jason Bogard, Justin Campbell, Joann Connolly, Marcus Cooley, Dustin DellaVecchia, Ethan Duff, Matthew Eldridge, Vincent Farrell, Ethan Firestone, Clint Fumanti, Gail Hunter, Les Morgan, Stephanie Pauli, Thomas Polleri, Ethan Shapanka, Paula Stier, Kathryn Tamblyn, Eric Thompson, Beau Turpin, Pablo Velez, Steve Viola, John Weber, Townson Wells, Mari WilsonSo, name irony.  “The Watch.”

Really?  More likely “The Look At Bloody Car Wreck.”

Eyeballs don’t go to the screen for the funny – they can’t possibly look away.  And then there is the hope from the above that I spoke.

And hope is the cruelest thing…

So, two thumbs just kind of doing thumb things.  Not happy thumbs.  Not suicidal thumbs.  Just thumbs that are needing the entertainment to happen.

Thumbs that didn’t get squat from “The Watch.”

I am so excited for next week!  Another re-make!  That is so novel!

Never done in Hollywood!  They are so original!

“Total Recall” will be all time the great one that needed a re-boot.

Sony Pictures can kiss my whirling butt-cherry.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Become my friend on Facebook.  That is the only way that the truth of our friendship can be true.  Do it!

P.P.S.  Summer T.V. is turning from suck to Summer Olympics.  What is the difference?