Judd Hirsch – Behind the Proscenium

June 24, 2016June 24, 2016

Independence Day: Resurgence [REVIEW]

Independence Day: Resurgence

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

“Kimmo, you were gone again. W in TF, crazy Finn?” You asked this of me.

My fingers now answer.

I could not write from the jail house.

We were too busy a singin’ that rock.

Baby!

Let’s rock!

I lie.

There is no mouth music out of my face in the big house.

Or even the little house… L.A. County.

That is where my time was because I had a case of the stalking. Not my fault – she was the one that made me the one that was doing the doing.

So pretty.

So smart.

Mine.

Maika Monroe – I will stay 300 foot from you, with the order that is restraining my love.

You say that the “It” in “It Follows” was named Kimmo.

If so, I am charged guilty – guilty of Goddess worshipping.

But then… then… your ding damn movie!

W in TF?

Oh Odin!

I tried for the drunkening.

I smoked the sweet, sweet smoke.

I, with accidental dumb, froze my nut bag with ice cream Bon-Bons (again! I hope my swimmers are still active).

But I must have to say – my IQ was shed of a good 50 points much like dog hairs falling in the heat wave.

IQ all over the sofa.

IQ all over my jacket.

IQ stuck in my butt crack.

“Independence Day: Resurgence” is so dumb, that dumb is smart to it.

How dumb?

OK!

Dumb plot?

Sure!

Will Smith has asked for so much cheddar that he is now just a portrait.

His son (Jessie T. Usher) is a mannequin that is also a pilot.

Judd Hirsh is still Jewing – his boat is floated by continent-sized alien frisbee into Nevada. Believing is total, really – only 90% of audience went “bulls are shitting here” when seeing this.

David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) is still on meth twitchy – but his ex-wife from 20 years ago is a goner. Or she is now French (Charlotte Gainsbourg). There is no explanation.

The there is Mr. Sass (Liam Hemsworth) who is also hot shot top gun pilot guy. He can fly anything (as well as not kill puppies when listening to Miley Cyrus talk – maybe the deafness has saved his brain).

Data (Brent Spiner) who died in ID4 has beaten dead, but unlike Christ took longer than 3 days to be the groundhog. He is funny, and with it has many more smarts than the movie film.

President Whitmore (Bill Pullman) has a cane, so we know he is the crazy. His daughter (Maika, I forgive you, and will for every time you have me arrested – so stop with that doing of arresting, OK?) is hot and is good at piloting, too. And she and Liam are in the Mile High Club.

Hopefully. If I was Liam.

Pac-Man comes to the moon, but we are all “suck it, Pac-Man” and shoot him in the face. But… he has come to say that… they are coming… Space Invaders!!!

Ugh.

Same shi-ite, different movie.

More coincidences that can possibly be coincidental.

Everybody ends up somewhere where the rest of everybody is. Then the other bodies end up where they are at.

Then some are in the giant alien frisbee bigger than Antarctica.

Then they are not.

There are speeches.

There are ethnic people on the radios listening to the speeches and maybe the World Cup (all of us ethnics listen to futball on the radio – so you can recognize us as not you).

Explosions.

Pac-Man is really Pac-Girl.

Whaaaaaaat?!?

Damn.

I wonder who wins.

So.

Two thumbs, like the ice-box carrots that became mine three weeks ago and are limper now than little Kimmo in the jail shower (fear makes soft – fact), pointing dirt-ward.

I will have this movie on my eyes maybe once more – this fall – while drunk and high and trying to sleep and ID:R slithers up on the HBO.

I will blow kisses to Maika, squirt water from my eyes in love-pain, and like a tiny little girl cry myself to my sleeping place.

But for you? Go see “Swiss Army Man” – Harry Potter farting > Jeff Goldblum twitching. Fact.

Kimmo Mustonenen – Kimmo On Kino – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. What in the F, Great Britain? Now you are like Norway, but without pickled herring. And Norway without pickled herring is just Great Britain. Put that in your pipe and chew on it.

P.P.S. Maika, I forgive you… and will wait for you until Gemma Arterton’s next film. Then Gemma is mine. You have been warned! But I still forgive you.

November 4, 2011

Tower Heist [REVIEW]

Tower Heist

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

I don’t understand.

My mind is flowing with the fire.

Kyrle, I want to see the revels inside the “Anonymous”.

Or, to make me give a dolphin smile, “Harold and Kumar’s 3D Christmas” with the pot and a rad review to make.

But no.

I see the hot in the 1990s film “Tower Heist”.

In 1991, this is a (the s)hit.

Today?

Snooooooooozeeeeee……….. suuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkk.

With “Tower Heist” director Brett Ratner does try the balancing act between the amusing comedy genre and heist movie. For those who can spontaneously start to the second term (heist, mush brain) – A-OK!:

A heist movie romp usually a couple of cool guys who then work out another plan much more cool to either cash to steal or a lot of any valuable thing (like steak). Many heist movies are popular because they often come up with many twists and surprises to you as a viewer, feels fun-surprised and how the thieves because now want to get the loot.

Comedies are popular NOT when explain they must why you have to for the laugh, right?

Stop laughing. You never started.

Unfortunately fails (shocker!), “Tower Heist” almost sensational about it, the strong elements from both genres take up in plain-text – the planned robbery is not exciting to offer only minimal surprises and humor is far too short, or non existent (like, “How do you get a nun pregnant?” Answer in the comments below!).

The jokes are bad pointedly dropped listless (for that’s particularly true on several one-liners to already-worn by a number of other films – 20 years ago!).

Humor is indeed a matter of taste, and it only one time exists (to me, in my taste that matters), Eddie Murphy holds a little dreamy monologue about the relationship between lesbian women and firm breasts.

That was it.

It tries to be long 100 minutes of comedy. But only 4 minutes. Yet, but it seems much, much longer.

The disappointing part, of many in this “comedy”, is unfortunately hand in hand with the robbery of the money for a sympathetic force. The supposedly equipped with the world’s best security system tower can then still be won relatively easy – so easy that as would Ben Stiller would not have to bother the apartment of the victim with Lego recreate – a small addendum to the subject of humor – the Lego model should be FUNNY.

The coup ends in exaggerated scenes on the outside wall of the skyscraper, does not even in the inner logic of the film exposes the meaning and the lousy script.

“Tower Heist by Retards” would be truth, but not correct, politically. “Tower Heist by Retards” would have brought the fun.

Curiously, attempts Bratt Ratner plan and the absurd comedy of the soft-rinsed with the theme of “99 percent to stick into the 1% anal pore”. That is to provide a current political and social superstructure.

Of course it is cool in principle, that the film on the side of workers and says Wall Street is Las Vegas (without the hot legal hookers).

Too much plot explanation for so little of the plot.

My bad. I’ve switched to slivovitz and am woozy.

The motley troupe can wrest from viewers unfortunately no great sympathy. Ben Stiller exudes a desperate charm and can play alongside Casey Affleck, the most interesting character.

Eddie Murphy’s role could be funny, but is not being fully implemented.

Matthew Broderick and Gabourey Sidibe (now in “Tower Heist” based on the novel Suck by Hack Writer) sink into the irrelevance.

So? What happens when you make a genre mix, where you combine a burglary without exciting plan and a comedy without jokes? “Tower Heist”! Which rises from the toilet and tries to bite your wankie.

Don’t let it!

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. Go “Glee”, go! In Finland, we always make out with the teacher who is the momma now to our baby! BUT… no Lindsay to be seen. Just the mick. Ryan Murphy, I am watching you…

May 24, 2011May 31, 2011

This Must Be The Place [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Paolo Sorrentino, Umberto Contarello, Sean Penn, Fraces McDormand, Judd Hirsch, Eve Hewson, Kerry Condon, Harry Dean Stanton, Joyce Van Patten, David Byrne, Olwen Fourere, Shea Wingham, Liron Levo, Simon Delaney, Heinze Lieven, Seth Adkins, Peter Carey, Sarah Carroll, Ron Coden, Bern Cohen, Tim Craiger, Davis Gloff, Grant Goodman, Kris Graverson, Robert Herrick, Jann Hight, Julia Ho, Sarab Kamoo, Sam Keeley, Kef Lee, Madge Levinson, Andrea Mellos, Gordon Michaels, Gavin O'Connor, Clarence Olinger, Inga R. Wilson, Elli, Dave Krieger, Mark C. Schwarz, Joseph Smith, Ronald M. Bozman, Carlotta Calori, Francesca Cima, Nicola Giuliano, Ed Guiney, Andrew Lowe, Stefano Massenzi, Andrea Occhipinti, Viola Prestieri, Laurent Petin, Michele Petin, Will Oldham, Luca Bigazzi, Cristiano Travaglioli, dooner, Lava Buckley, Piero Messina, Cannes Film Festival, Tree of Life, Terrence Malick, Alice Cooper

This Must Be The Place

With wit, reviewed by Kimmo Mustonenen

Here’s another “Nazi” this time after last week’s scene that happened in with Lars Von Trier.

This time by Paolo Sorrentino, the political correct approach and without any relation to the Prankster (he went upside down) in Trier, in “THIS MUST BE THE PLACE” is opposite of an exemplary character that explains one of the greatest actresses of the era, Sean Penn.

As another type rocker Alice Cooper comes to America to seek his dark character a Nazi actually means bringing the target of revenge and strong parental memory.

What?

We will give the Commission President De Niro a prize? The suspect, to be honest.

(As indeed it was Terence Malick not stepped foot in order to hear “anyone” yes “to the asking the long and short, for the experiential ecstatic experience “TREE OF LIFE“.)

Sean Penn said the film collaboration with Sorrentino was excellent and that somehow it had assessed the potential of this director, from Cannes in 2008.

For the film, which will describe a visual narrative, himself Sorrentino said he talked about working in America is something that clearly makes you realize that this country is “THE LAND OF CINEMA”, and how to filming the streets is something unprecedented.

But, Mr. Sorrentino, what it means for you finally the relationship of characters in the film?

“But this first of all,” he said, and continues “first of all we have before us the relationship between a former Nazi and a rocker older dude, which can not be stopped or rock and roll, nor child, so this is all the narrative challenge for me, this polarity.“

The “THIS MUST BE THE PLACE” is a powerful film. The memory of the vengeance and the projection of guilt watering the frame.

The Penn, this robust actor of character, stands as an irresistible pillar in the center of this creation, without showing that anything can escape from within the accuracy limit of his personality, as we move towards the big finale.

YES!

With this film, which complements the image interpretation and word, now the director establishes the tone and opens the door to a bright future films.

Let us take, although it is surprising to me the Golden Palm in this movie (I would have this be given). I insist on the Terrence Malick and a second level in front of the dynamics of the best years long, the likelihood of a third Golden Palm, which in this case will make history.

But do you think De Niro would prefer the Belgian social realists of minimalism, from the mystic fellow? Not think so!

Even when Ginnifer Goodwin’s birthday was yesterday. Love.

Kimmo Mustonenen – Behind The Proscenium
Follow @KimmoMustonenen