The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Bill Condon, Stephenie Meyer, Melissa Rosenberg, Taylor Lautner, Gil Birmingham, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke, Ty Olsson, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Robert Pattinson, Christian Sloan, James Pizzinato, Ian Harmon, Gabriel Carter, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Justin Chron, Michael Welch, Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Camargo, Mia Maestro, Maggie Grace, MyAnna Buring, Casey LaBow, Angelo Renai, Booboo Stewart, Alex Rice, Paul Becker, Stephanie Moseley, Kiowa Gordon, Tyson Houseman, Chaske Spencer, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Julia Jones, Tinsel Korey, Tanaya Beatty, Sienna Joseph, Carolina Virguez, Sebastiao Lemos, Kimani Ray Smith, Tora Hylands, Mackenzie Foy, Ali Faulkner, Charlie Bewley, Daniel Cudmore, Bill Bannerman, Wyck Godfrey, Mark Morgan, Irina Neyes, Karen Rosenfelt, Isabelle Tanugi, Carter Burwell, Guillermo Navarro, Virginia Katz, Debra Zane, Richard Sherman, Michael Wilkinson, Patricia McAlhany Glasser, Valeria Costa Amorim, Shawn Boyachek, Mary Guilfoyle, Barbara Kelly, Andrew G. La Marca, Colleen Mitchell, David Price, Angela Quiles, Andrea Wertheim, Bryan Yaconelli, Karin Behrenz, Josy Capkun, E.J. Foerster, Dylan Hopkins, Justin Muller, Jay Amor, Stanton Barrett, Krista Bell, Brett Chan, Paul Darnell, Holland Diaz, Christopher Gordon, Adam Hart, Kiralee Hayashi, Atlin Mitchell, Matthew Rugetti, Karin Silvestri, Patty Majorczak-Connolly, Mark Sussman, Joey Amron, Jason Dale, Shae Salmon, Diana Ascher, Paul Becker, Mauro Blanco, Daniel Booko, Barbara Branch, Erik Feig, Lea Enslin, Laura Fuller, Danielle Halagarda, Joe M. Hagg, Louise Hradsky, Anne Jacobsen, Katia Kieling, Brynn Kinnee, Julie Lopinto, Caroline MacVicar, Jill McQueen, Benjamin Jeran McGinn, Emily Morrow, Danielle Poret, Ashlynn Ross, Davida Smith, A. J. Timmcke, Chanda Venable, Alex John Wiseman

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Bill Condon, Stephenie Meyer, Melissa Rosenberg, Taylor Lautner, Gil Birmingham, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke, Ty Olsson, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Robert Pattinson, Christian Sloan, James Pizzinato, Ian Harmon, Gabriel Carter, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Justin Chron, Michael Welch, Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Camargo, Mia Maestro, Maggie Grace, MyAnna Buring, Casey LaBow, Angelo Renai, Booboo Stewart, Alex Rice, Paul Becker, Stephanie Moseley, Kiowa Gordon, Tyson Houseman, Chaske Spencer, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Julia Jones, Tinsel Korey, Tanaya Beatty, Sienna Joseph, Carolina Virguez, Sebastiao Lemos, Kimani Ray Smith, Tora Hylands, Mackenzie Foy, Ali Faulkner, Charlie Bewley, Daniel Cudmore, Bill Bannerman, Wyck Godfrey, Mark Morgan, Irina Neyes, Karen Rosenfelt, Isabelle Tanugi, Carter Burwell, Guillermo Navarro, Virginia Katz, Debra Zane, Richard Sherman, Michael Wilkinson, Patricia McAlhany Glasser, Valeria Costa Amorim, Shawn Boyachek, Mary Guilfoyle, Barbara Kelly, Andrew G. La Marca, Colleen Mitchell, David Price, Angela Quiles, Andrea Wertheim, Bryan Yaconelli, Karin Behrenz, Josy Capkun, E.J. Foerster, Dylan Hopkins, Justin Muller, Jay Amor, Stanton Barrett, Krista Bell, Brett Chan, Paul Darnell, Holland Diaz, Christopher Gordon, Adam Hart, Kiralee Hayashi, Atlin Mitchell, Matthew Rugetti, Karin Silvestri, Patty Majorczak-Connolly, Mark Sussman, Joey Amron, Jason Dale, Shae Salmon, Diana Ascher, Paul Becker, Mauro Blanco, Daniel Booko, Barbara Branch, Erik Feig, Lea Enslin, Laura Fuller, Danielle Halagarda, Joe M. Hagg, Louise Hradsky, Anne Jacobsen, Katia Kieling, Brynn Kinnee, Julie Lopinto, Caroline MacVicar, Jill McQueen, Benjamin Jeran McGinn, Emily Morrow, Danielle Poret, Ashlynn Ross, Davida Smith, A. J. Timmcke, Chanda Venable, Alex John WisemanThe Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Son of a bitch.

Damn you, Mayans.

I, and the Earth, have lived to see what we wish the seeing of would not have happened.

Why not the end?

Sometimes the end is better than the being. But no.

My eyeballs have made my brain see “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2“. Electric Boogaloo.

That would have been the cool.

Odin. I have always been in service.

Oh, God of Cargo, I follow.

Since you were on the tree Yggdrasil attached to find the truth, to now.

But the pain.

Oh, Odin, the pain.

My eyes have been rubbed in shit. And that shit is “ The Twilight Saga: Breaking blah blah blah blah blah blah“.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Bill Condon, Stephenie Meyer, Melissa Rosenberg, Taylor Lautner, Gil Birmingham, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke, Ty Olsson, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Robert Pattinson, Christian Sloan, James Pizzinato, Ian Harmon, Gabriel Carter, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Justin Chron, Michael Welch, Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Camargo, Mia Maestro, Maggie Grace, MyAnna Buring, Casey LaBow, Angelo Renai, Booboo Stewart, Alex Rice, Paul Becker, Stephanie Moseley, Kiowa Gordon, Tyson Houseman, Chaske Spencer, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Julia Jones, Tinsel Korey, Tanaya Beatty, Sienna Joseph, Carolina Virguez, Sebastiao Lemos, Kimani Ray Smith, Tora Hylands, Mackenzie Foy, Ali Faulkner, Charlie Bewley, Daniel Cudmore, Bill Bannerman, Wyck Godfrey, Mark Morgan, Irina Neyes, Karen Rosenfelt, Isabelle Tanugi, Carter Burwell, Guillermo Navarro, Virginia Katz, Debra Zane, Richard Sherman, Michael Wilkinson, Patricia McAlhany Glasser, Valeria Costa Amorim, Shawn Boyachek, Mary Guilfoyle, Barbara Kelly, Andrew G. La Marca, Colleen Mitchell, David Price, Angela Quiles, Andrea Wertheim, Bryan Yaconelli, Karin Behrenz, Josy Capkun, E.J. Foerster, Dylan Hopkins, Justin Muller, Jay Amor, Stanton Barrett, Krista Bell, Brett Chan, Paul Darnell, Holland Diaz, Christopher Gordon, Adam Hart, Kiralee Hayashi, Atlin Mitchell, Matthew Rugetti, Karin Silvestri, Patty Majorczak-Connolly, Mark Sussman, Joey Amron, Jason Dale, Shae Salmon, Diana Ascher, Paul Becker, Mauro Blanco, Daniel Booko, Barbara Branch, Erik Feig, Lea Enslin, Laura Fuller, Danielle Halagarda, Joe M. Hagg, Louise Hradsky, Anne Jacobsen, Katia Kieling, Brynn Kinnee, Julie Lopinto, Caroline MacVicar, Jill McQueen, Benjamin Jeran McGinn, Emily Morrow, Danielle Poret, Ashlynn Ross, Davida Smith, A. J. Timmcke, Chanda Venable, Alex John WisemanStory? Really?

If this is for your interest for the reading there are many things:

1) I love this shit. Like the film Kimmo, like me, or you will the for the stalking like my 75 cats do to the poor back yard birds (this is for middle-age Twi-Fraus).

2) I love this shit. Like the film Kimmo, like me, because this was the first time that my parts that make of me a girl gave me a squirm – whatever team. Best movie since “Citizen Kane” or “The Notebook” (teenage Twi-tards – sorry for making the Citizen Kane reference – your tiny brains explode like insignificant lady fingers).

3) I love this shit. Like the film Kimmo. If I disagree my girlfriend handjobs may cease immediately (the horror – poor boyfriends of crazy chicks liking this thing movie crap).

4) This is stupid. Damn bad CGI movie mess that makes the smart dumb, and the rest shake the head and reach for the Kossu (normal people).

Here is some plot.

After the birth of her daughter, Renesmee, Bella slowly adapts to his new life with the help of vampire Edward.

Feeling threatened by the birth of a new genre, the Volturi declare war on the family Cullen.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Bill Condon, Stephenie Meyer, Melissa Rosenberg, Taylor Lautner, Gil Birmingham, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke, Ty Olsson, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Robert Pattinson, Christian Sloan, James Pizzinato, Ian Harmon, Gabriel Carter, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Justin Chron, Michael Welch, Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Camargo, Mia Maestro, Maggie Grace, MyAnna Buring, Casey LaBow, Angelo Renai, Booboo Stewart, Alex Rice, Paul Becker, Stephanie Moseley, Kiowa Gordon, Tyson Houseman, Chaske Spencer, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Julia Jones, Tinsel Korey, Tanaya Beatty, Sienna Joseph, Carolina Virguez, Sebastiao Lemos, Kimani Ray Smith, Tora Hylands, Mackenzie Foy, Ali Faulkner, Charlie Bewley, Daniel Cudmore, Bill Bannerman, Wyck Godfrey, Mark Morgan, Irina Neyes, Karen Rosenfelt, Isabelle Tanugi, Carter Burwell, Guillermo Navarro, Virginia Katz, Debra Zane, Richard Sherman, Michael Wilkinson, Patricia McAlhany Glasser, Valeria Costa Amorim, Shawn Boyachek, Mary Guilfoyle, Barbara Kelly, Andrew G. La Marca, Colleen Mitchell, David Price, Angela Quiles, Andrea Wertheim, Bryan Yaconelli, Karin Behrenz, Josy Capkun, E.J. Foerster, Dylan Hopkins, Justin Muller, Jay Amor, Stanton Barrett, Krista Bell, Brett Chan, Paul Darnell, Holland Diaz, Christopher Gordon, Adam Hart, Kiralee Hayashi, Atlin Mitchell, Matthew Rugetti, Karin Silvestri, Patty Majorczak-Connolly, Mark Sussman, Joey Amron, Jason Dale, Shae Salmon, Diana Ascher, Paul Becker, Mauro Blanco, Daniel Booko, Barbara Branch, Erik Feig, Lea Enslin, Laura Fuller, Danielle Halagarda, Joe M. Hagg, Louise Hradsky, Anne Jacobsen, Katia Kieling, Brynn Kinnee, Julie Lopinto, Caroline MacVicar, Jill McQueen, Benjamin Jeran McGinn, Emily Morrow, Danielle Poret, Ashlynn Ross, Davida Smith, A. J. Timmcke, Chanda Venable, Alex John WisemanTo prepare their defense, Cullen will travel the world to bring together families and allied vampires try to push the Volturi in a final confrontation.

Wow! Wait, what?

Have there been worse films to let in my mind?

Of course, the first 500 movies of this franchise of suck.

Freddie Got Fingered.”

Maybe that is the total. My brain reels. I wish for the end.

Odin, I hate for the being of the negative. But I knew.

The sweet smoke didn’t make things better.

The Kossu only brought sadness.

So, now, here we are. What more to say?

Two thumbs waiting for the end. For Ragnarok, if the Mayans cannot get their poop in order. Drooping down, waiting for the end.

At least this stream of shit is at an end (thoughts after visiting Acapulco – four days of hell – though Twilight was longer and hurt more).

You will see it if you want. If not, then not to see. Your minds are already in place for a decision. I cannot change that.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “Fringe” makes no sense. Yet I do not care in my mind. The Observers are well dressed. The future should be so cool.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 [REVIEW]

Total Recall [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Total Recall, Len Wiseman, Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback, Ronald Shusett, Don O'Bannon, Jon Povill, Phillip K. Dick, Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, Bokeem Woodbine, Bill Nighy, John Cho, Will Yun Lee, Milton Barnes, James McGowan, Natalie Lisinska, Michael Therriault, Stephen MacDonald, Mishael Morgan, LinLyn Lue, Dylan Smith, Andrew Moodie, Kaitlyn Leeb, Leo Guivab, Nykeem Provo, Steve Byers, Danny Waugh, Geoffrey Pounsett, Jesse Bond, Warren Belle, Vincent Rother, Matthew Nette, Brooks Darnell, Brett Donahue, James Downing, Simon Sinn, Lisa Chandler, Miranda Jade, Shereen Airth, Philip Moran, Clive Ashborn, Emily Chang, Bill Coulter, Merella Fernandez, Alicia-Kay Markson, Brian Rodriguez, Leigh Folsom, Brian Delaney, Cam Clarke, Bridget Hoffman, Gregoire Akcelrod, Mark Baldesarra, Sarah Colford, Dan Cristofori, Steaphen Diego, Mike Emme, Will Ennis, Stephone Fuller, Currie Graham, Ethan Hawke, Dexter Howe, Phil Huynh, Despina Lossifidis, Adrian Jaworski, Tony Kelly, Camille Kennedy, Jay Kow, Johnny Larocque, Ryan Le Bar, Wing Lee, Kane Mahon, Justin Major, Sarah Marshall, Samuel Mekonnen, Teebone Mitchell, Shane Pollard, MOrgane Slemp, Marc Andrew Smith, Jailar Tabugay, Kevin Tran, Denise Vasquez, Joe Vercillo, Filip Watermann, Amir Wilker, Toby Jaffe, Rick Kidney, Neal H. Moritz, Harry Gregson-Williams, Paul Cameron, Christian Wagner, Debra Zane, Patrick Tatopoulos, Patrick Banister, Oana Bogdan, Kevin Carter, Sanja Milkovic Hays, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Sam Alvelo, Aric Depere, Luc Etienne, Jonathan Gajewski, Justin Gajewski, Alexander Gayner, Jennifer Haufler, Judith Landale, Nick Lopez, Grant Lucibello, Brad Martin, David Mendoza, Spira Razatos, Andrew Robinson, Jodi Tario, Karen Young, Allison Klein, Dave Rosa, Casey Adams, Fraser Aitcheson, Mick Alachiotis, Krista Bell, Brian Ho, Sam Looc, John macDonald, Layton Morrison, Gabriel Nunez, John Stead, Rorelee Tio, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Rich Volp, Brian Broz, Julia Seidman, Jay Sheveck, Robert Stecko, Dempsey Tillman, Scott Alexander, Ryan Babbs, Cathy Coulson-Alfronso, Marty Dejczak, Kevin Drysdale, Taryn Feingold, Mark Foster, Junko Goda, Sabine Graham, Joe Everett, Diwa d'Souza, Marty Dejczak, Ester Chae, Nadja Buglieri, Neville Hadfield, Cam Harrod, Tim Hay, Paula Kucharski, Candace Kunderman, Kyla McFeat, Tien Hguyen, Andrew Munro, Erin Rowe, Justyn Roy, Jasper Salon, Taylor Scherberger, Nadine Wilson, Jane Spencer

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Total Recall, Len Wiseman, Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback, Ronald Shusett, Don O'Bannon, Jon Povill, Phillip K. Dick, Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, Bokeem Woodbine, Bill Nighy, John Cho, Will Yun Lee, Milton Barnes, James McGowan, Natalie Lisinska, Michael Therriault, Stephen MacDonald, Mishael Morgan, LinLyn Lue, Dylan Smith, Andrew Moodie, Kaitlyn Leeb, Leo Guivab, Nykeem Provo, Steve Byers, Danny Waugh, Geoffrey Pounsett, Jesse Bond, Warren Belle, Vincent Rother, Matthew Nette, Brooks Darnell, Brett Donahue, James Downing, Simon Sinn, Lisa Chandler, Miranda Jade, Shereen Airth, Philip Moran, Clive Ashborn, Emily Chang, Bill Coulter, Merella Fernandez, Alicia-Kay Markson, Brian Rodriguez, Leigh Folsom, Brian Delaney, Cam Clarke, Bridget Hoffman, Gregoire Akcelrod, Mark Baldesarra, Sarah Colford, Dan Cristofori, Steaphen Diego, Mike Emme, Will Ennis, Stephone Fuller, Currie Graham, Ethan Hawke, Dexter Howe, Phil Huynh, Despina Lossifidis, Adrian Jaworski, Tony Kelly, Camille Kennedy, Jay Kow, Johnny Larocque, Ryan Le Bar, Wing Lee, Kane Mahon, Justin Major, Sarah Marshall, Samuel Mekonnen, Teebone Mitchell, Shane Pollard, MOrgane Slemp, Marc Andrew Smith, Jailar Tabugay, Kevin Tran, Denise Vasquez, Joe Vercillo, Filip Watermann, Amir Wilker, Toby Jaffe, Rick Kidney, Neal H. Moritz, Harry Gregson-Williams, Paul Cameron, Christian Wagner, Debra Zane, Patrick Tatopoulos, Patrick Banister, Oana Bogdan, Kevin Carter, Sanja Milkovic Hays, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Sam Alvelo, Aric Depere, Luc Etienne, Jonathan Gajewski, Justin Gajewski, Alexander Gayner, Jennifer Haufler, Judith Landale, Nick Lopez, Grant Lucibello, Brad Martin, David Mendoza, Spira Razatos, Andrew Robinson, Jodi Tario, Karen Young, Allison Klein, Dave Rosa, Casey Adams, Fraser Aitcheson, Mick Alachiotis, Krista Bell, Brian Ho, Sam Looc, John macDonald, Layton Morrison, Gabriel Nunez, John Stead, Rorelee Tio, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Rich Volp, Brian Broz, Julia Seidman, Jay Sheveck, Robert Stecko, Dempsey Tillman, Scott Alexander, Ryan Babbs, Cathy Coulson-Alfronso, Marty Dejczak, Kevin Drysdale, Taryn Feingold, Mark Foster, Junko Goda, Sabine Graham, Joe Everett, Diwa d'Souza, Marty Dejczak, Ester Chae, Nadja Buglieri, Neville Hadfield, Cam Harrod, Tim Hay, Paula Kucharski, Candace Kunderman, Kyla McFeat, Tien Hguyen, Andrew Munro, Erin Rowe, Justyn Roy, Jasper Salon, Taylor Scherberger, Nadine Wilson, Jane SpencerTotal Recall

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Son of a bitch.

My working life is now my life of my life.

Sometimes the pain is so much, that there is howling where none is wanted.

Was I kicked in the right ball?

Stabbed in the lower right gut, pain flashing like a flashing pain light?

Made like the Lohan, when she moans the “Coke has run out” moan?

No.

Life life = kidney stone.

Pee that looks like oil of the motor, pain that is for the yelling until the sweet, sweet Dilauded in my new vein hole makes me the smiling man.

Pain is for the drug-free. I like drugs.

Work life = “Total Recall.”

Really?

Has the farting monkey classic “Ed” already been re-animated?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Total Recall, Len Wiseman, Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback, Ronald Shusett, Don O'Bannon, Jon Povill, Phillip K. Dick, Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, Bokeem Woodbine, Bill Nighy, John Cho, Will Yun Lee, Milton Barnes, James McGowan, Natalie Lisinska, Michael Therriault, Stephen MacDonald, Mishael Morgan, LinLyn Lue, Dylan Smith, Andrew Moodie, Kaitlyn Leeb, Leo Guivab, Nykeem Provo, Steve Byers, Danny Waugh, Geoffrey Pounsett, Jesse Bond, Warren Belle, Vincent Rother, Matthew Nette, Brooks Darnell, Brett Donahue, James Downing, Simon Sinn, Lisa Chandler, Miranda Jade, Shereen Airth, Philip Moran, Clive Ashborn, Emily Chang, Bill Coulter, Merella Fernandez, Alicia-Kay Markson, Brian Rodriguez, Leigh Folsom, Brian Delaney, Cam Clarke, Bridget Hoffman, Gregoire Akcelrod, Mark Baldesarra, Sarah Colford, Dan Cristofori, Steaphen Diego, Mike Emme, Will Ennis, Stephone Fuller, Currie Graham, Ethan Hawke, Dexter Howe, Phil Huynh, Despina Lossifidis, Adrian Jaworski, Tony Kelly, Camille Kennedy, Jay Kow, Johnny Larocque, Ryan Le Bar, Wing Lee, Kane Mahon, Justin Major, Sarah Marshall, Samuel Mekonnen, Teebone Mitchell, Shane Pollard, MOrgane Slemp, Marc Andrew Smith, Jailar Tabugay, Kevin Tran, Denise Vasquez, Joe Vercillo, Filip Watermann, Amir Wilker, Toby Jaffe, Rick Kidney, Neal H. Moritz, Harry Gregson-Williams, Paul Cameron, Christian Wagner, Debra Zane, Patrick Tatopoulos, Patrick Banister, Oana Bogdan, Kevin Carter, Sanja Milkovic Hays, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Sam Alvelo, Aric Depere, Luc Etienne, Jonathan Gajewski, Justin Gajewski, Alexander Gayner, Jennifer Haufler, Judith Landale, Nick Lopez, Grant Lucibello, Brad Martin, David Mendoza, Spira Razatos, Andrew Robinson, Jodi Tario, Karen Young, Allison Klein, Dave Rosa, Casey Adams, Fraser Aitcheson, Mick Alachiotis, Krista Bell, Brian Ho, Sam Looc, John macDonald, Layton Morrison, Gabriel Nunez, John Stead, Rorelee Tio, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Rich Volp, Brian Broz, Julia Seidman, Jay Sheveck, Robert Stecko, Dempsey Tillman, Scott Alexander, Ryan Babbs, Cathy Coulson-Alfronso, Marty Dejczak, Kevin Drysdale, Taryn Feingold, Mark Foster, Junko Goda, Sabine Graham, Joe Everett, Diwa d'Souza, Marty Dejczak, Ester Chae, Nadja Buglieri, Neville Hadfield, Cam Harrod, Tim Hay, Paula Kucharski, Candace Kunderman, Kyla McFeat, Tien Hguyen, Andrew Munro, Erin Rowe, Justyn Roy, Jasper Salon, Taylor Scherberger, Nadine Wilson, Jane SpencerHollywood, if there was a God with a shit to give you would all have the ball pain that made me Mr. Vicodin.

I think watching Colin Ferrell, take on the Arnold head a major crap, would have been O.K. if I was still Mr. Vicodin.

Or Mr. Kossu. Or Mr. Lemon Skunk Sativa.

Just being Mr. Kimmo made me cry.

Plot?  There was one, in 1990.  And it was good.

Now, white bread crap fest.

“Total Recall” and no Mars.  I see.

Now is the time to re-do, yet take out all that made the first to be made.

Smart!

Sony, way to be!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo On Kino, Total Recall, Len Wiseman, Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback, Ronald Shusett, Don O'Bannon, Jon Povill, Phillip K. Dick, Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, Bokeem Woodbine, Bill Nighy, John Cho, Will Yun Lee, Milton Barnes, James McGowan, Natalie Lisinska, Michael Therriault, Stephen MacDonald, Mishael Morgan, LinLyn Lue, Dylan Smith, Andrew Moodie, Kaitlyn Leeb, Leo Guivab, Nykeem Provo, Steve Byers, Danny Waugh, Geoffrey Pounsett, Jesse Bond, Warren Belle, Vincent Rother, Matthew Nette, Brooks Darnell, Brett Donahue, James Downing, Simon Sinn, Lisa Chandler, Miranda Jade, Shereen Airth, Philip Moran, Clive Ashborn, Emily Chang, Bill Coulter, Merella Fernandez, Alicia-Kay Markson, Brian Rodriguez, Leigh Folsom, Brian Delaney, Cam Clarke, Bridget Hoffman, Gregoire Akcelrod, Mark Baldesarra, Sarah Colford, Dan Cristofori, Steaphen Diego, Mike Emme, Will Ennis, Stephone Fuller, Currie Graham, Ethan Hawke, Dexter Howe, Phil Huynh, Despina Lossifidis, Adrian Jaworski, Tony Kelly, Camille Kennedy, Jay Kow, Johnny Larocque, Ryan Le Bar, Wing Lee, Kane Mahon, Justin Major, Sarah Marshall, Samuel Mekonnen, Teebone Mitchell, Shane Pollard, MOrgane Slemp, Marc Andrew Smith, Jailar Tabugay, Kevin Tran, Denise Vasquez, Joe Vercillo, Filip Watermann, Amir Wilker, Toby Jaffe, Rick Kidney, Neal H. Moritz, Harry Gregson-Williams, Paul Cameron, Christian Wagner, Debra Zane, Patrick Tatopoulos, Patrick Banister, Oana Bogdan, Kevin Carter, Sanja Milkovic Hays, Greg Denny, Lyn Lucibello, Lisa Rodgers, Sam Alvelo, Aric Depere, Luc Etienne, Jonathan Gajewski, Justin Gajewski, Alexander Gayner, Jennifer Haufler, Judith Landale, Nick Lopez, Grant Lucibello, Brad Martin, David Mendoza, Spira Razatos, Andrew Robinson, Jodi Tario, Karen Young, Allison Klein, Dave Rosa, Casey Adams, Fraser Aitcheson, Mick Alachiotis, Krista Bell, Brian Ho, Sam Looc, John macDonald, Layton Morrison, Gabriel Nunez, John Stead, Rorelee Tio, Alicia Vela-Bailey, Rich Volp, Brian Broz, Julia Seidman, Jay Sheveck, Robert Stecko, Dempsey Tillman, Scott Alexander, Ryan Babbs, Cathy Coulson-Alfronso, Marty Dejczak, Kevin Drysdale, Taryn Feingold, Mark Foster, Junko Goda, Sabine Graham, Joe Everett, Diwa d'Souza, Marty Dejczak, Ester Chae, Nadja Buglieri, Neville Hadfield, Cam Harrod, Tim Hay, Paula Kucharski, Candace Kunderman, Kyla McFeat, Tien Hguyen, Andrew Munro, Erin Rowe, Justyn Roy, Jasper Salon, Taylor Scherberger, Nadine Wilson, Jane SpencerReplace Arnold with boring Colin – check.

Replace Sharon Stone with a boring (but hot) vampire chick – check.

Interesting stuff replaced with same old crap – check.

Three-breasted woman – check.

I have seen the trailer – I have seen the movie.

Sony, my butt is for the kissing… get back there, pucker up, I like tongue!

That is all to say about this nothing pile. No reason to exist, no reason to write about it.

Rent it – smoke the sweet Sativa – eat Cheetos – maybe nap.  Check out the Beckin-butt (Kate Beckinsale).

But… that is all.

Please Odin, give me another stone for the passing before my eyeballs must hurt my brain with another crappy re-do. Please.

Now, that is all.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  You, the children, who want to watch movies for the money all day and night like Kimmo?  This is the shit that is your 90%. Study dentistry. Less pain all around.

P.P.S.  Olympics.  Why do the flippy pre-pubescent girls get the ratings?  Why not the beach ladies with the ass crack assaulting shorts? That is entertainment! And Ryan Seacrest must be stopped. Before he multiplies! Hey Sony, there’s an idea that’s not a remake. Assholes.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 [REVIEW]

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With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

First – the coming of the clean.

Yes. I’m jealous.

Robert Pattinson has the hair of a god.

A messy hipster god, but god hair is god hair.

I want some.

Now for the real meat – once again, a crap-fest!

The film reviewer life can make one wish (and hope) the Mayans are right, the world ends in 2012, and thus my sitting through another Twilight is decreased to zero.

I pray for this to be so.

Review time.

Bella (Kristen Stewart) has made her choice: She is about to marry Edward (see “hair god” above).  But the young man, he will honor his market share?  He will accept to transform into a vampire, and see to give up his life?

None of this makes sense.

Like the last novel of the franchise of Harry Potter”, this is halved for film.  Twilight, the final episode, will split into two films. A necessity or a narrative stunt to garner twice the receipts?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Bill Condon, Stephenie Meyer, Melissa Rosenberg, Taylor Lautner, Gil Birmingham, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke, Ty Olsson, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Robert Pattinson, Christian Sloan, James Pizzinato, Ian Harmon, Gabriel Carter, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Justin Chron, Michael Welch, Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Camargo, Mia Maestro, Maggie Grace, MyAnna Buring, Casey LaBow, Angelo Renai, Booboo Stewart, Alex Rice, Paul Becker, Stephanie Moseley, Kiowa Gordon, Tyson Houseman, Chaske Spencer, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Julia Jones, Tinsel Korey, Tanaya Beatty, Sienna Joseph, Carolina Virguez, Sebastiao Lemos, Kimani Ray Smith, Tora Hylands, Mackenzie Foy, Ali Faulkner, Charlie Bewley, Daniel Cudmore, Bill Bannerman, Wyck Godfrey, Mark Morgan, Irina Neyes, Karen Rosenfelt, Isabelle Tanugi, Carter Burwell, Guillermo Navarro, Virginia Katz, Debra Zane, Richard Sherman, Michael Wilkinson, Patricia McAlhany Glasser, Valeria Costa Amorim, Shawn Boyachek, Mary Guilfoyle, Barbara Kelly, Andrew G. La Marca, Colleen Mitchell, David Price, Angela Quiles, Andrea Wertheim, Bryan Yaconelli, Karin Behrenz, Josy Capkun, E.J. Foerster, Dylan Hopkins, Justin Muller, Jay Amor, Stanton Barrett, Krista Bell, Brett Chan, Paul Darnell, Holland Diaz, Christopher Gordon, Adam Hart, Kiralee Hayashi, Atlin Mitchell, Matthew Rugetti, Karin Silvestri, Patty Majorczak-Connolly, Mark Sussman, Joey Amron, Jason Dale, Shae Salmon, Diana Ascher, Paul Becker, Mauro Blanco, Daniel Booko, Barbara Branch, Erik Feig, Lea Enslin, Laura Fuller, Danielle Halagarda, Joe M. Hagg, Louise Hradsky, Anne Jacobsen, Katia Kieling, Brynn Kinnee, Julie Lopinto, Caroline MacVicar, Jill McQueen, Benjamin Jeran McGinn, Emily Morrow, Danielle Poret, Ashlynn Ross, Davida Smith, A. J. Timmcke, Chanda Venable, Alex John WisemanUnfortunately, this second option is to be considered opportunistic.

Bad studio, ripping off the Twi-tards.

The conclusion is given the languid pace of the film.

If, initially, it is hasty (precipitated the wedding of Bella and Edward, and their honeymoon), the action then is dangerously fallen to the level zero.  After blackness and dark twists the previous section, by far the best of the saga (“wow, that turd looks better than the other turd!”), now is the dominant impression of disappointment from the very beginning.

The narrative seems ever more stretched, not to tell again.

Early in the film, the “hesitation” Bella, already in the middle of the last film, persist.

Again and again.

And again.

Then, one more time.

The character played by Kristen Stewart wonders if she should marry, and then come some discussions with her suitor that I’m sure I heard in another episode.  Then, once on the island of temptation, where the lovebirds spend their honeymoon (off of Rio, but there are no 3D animated toucans – bummer!), it was now the turn of Edward the vampire of be in dilemma.

Should he or not sleep with his wife at the risk of turning her into a monstrosity of nature bloodthirsty or kill on contact with his neck, his body, all members of a young fresh woman?

And the guy is still more than 100 years, so freshness level, there have been better!

In this chapter of inaction which is meant to be that of excitement, suspense is emerging little by little to explode in the second half of the film (finally, after one suck-tastic hour).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo on Kino, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Bill Condon, Stephenie Meyer, Melissa Rosenberg, Taylor Lautner, Gil Birmingham, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke, Ty Olsson, Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Robert Pattinson, Christian Sloan, James Pizzinato, Ian Harmon, Gabriel Carter, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Justin Chron, Michael Welch, Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Camargo, Mia Maestro, Maggie Grace, MyAnna Buring, Casey LaBow, Angelo Renai, Booboo Stewart, Alex Rice, Paul Becker, Stephanie Moseley, Kiowa Gordon, Tyson Houseman, Chaske Spencer, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Julia Jones, Tinsel Korey, Tanaya Beatty, Sienna Joseph, Carolina Virguez, Sebastiao Lemos, Kimani Ray Smith, Tora Hylands, Mackenzie Foy, Ali Faulkner, Charlie Bewley, Daniel Cudmore, Bill Bannerman, Wyck Godfrey, Mark Morgan, Irina Neyes, Karen Rosenfelt, Isabelle Tanugi, Carter Burwell, Guillermo Navarro, Virginia Katz, Debra Zane, Richard Sherman, Michael Wilkinson, Patricia McAlhany Glasser, Valeria Costa Amorim, Shawn Boyachek, Mary Guilfoyle, Barbara Kelly, Andrew G. La Marca, Colleen Mitchell, David Price, Angela Quiles, Andrea Wertheim, Bryan Yaconelli, Karin Behrenz, Josy Capkun, E.J. Foerster, Dylan Hopkins, Justin Muller, Jay Amor, Stanton Barrett, Krista Bell, Brett Chan, Paul Darnell, Holland Diaz, Christopher Gordon, Adam Hart, Kiralee Hayashi, Atlin Mitchell, Matthew Rugetti, Karin Silvestri, Patty Majorczak-Connolly, Mark Sussman, Joey Amron, Jason Dale, Shae Salmon, Diana Ascher, Paul Becker, Mauro Blanco, Daniel Booko, Barbara Branch, Erik Feig, Lea Enslin, Laura Fuller, Danielle Halagarda, Joe M. Hagg, Louise Hradsky, Anne Jacobsen, Katia Kieling, Brynn Kinnee, Julie Lopinto, Caroline MacVicar, Jill McQueen, Benjamin Jeran McGinn, Emily Morrow, Danielle Poret, Ashlynn Ross, Davida Smith, A. J. Timmcke, Chanda Venable, Alex John WisemanBella was nubile and fertile, and therefore, following the single exchange of body fluids in the film (the temptation was right to Edward – he totally slammed Bella – awesome!), here it is a big creature unusual offspring of unprecedented , half-human, half vampire.

What to do?

Would it be first ever abortion where vampire baby instead eats the doctor’s face?

That would be cool.

We do not reveal the outcome of this confrontation with the unknown that will lead the “beautiful” Jacob (Taylor Lautner – trade some of that work-out time to get acting lessons, please) to big arms muscled man to betray his wolf pack to help his beloved, the one that has yet to abandon the damn cold meat of Edward Cullen.

No, I will tell you nothing, because if you are still reading this (at least this far), you will see this pile of shit anyway.

To conclude: 

The Twi-tards will fork their money to Summit Entertainment and moisten and stick to the theater seats when Edward sparkles.

The world will continue to turn.

Some idiot will comment that Pattinson is a good actor.

Babies will die.

And later I’ll have to review a hunk of shit called “The Twilight Saga – Breaking Dawn, Part 2”.

The suck of all sucks.

Unless the Mayans are right.  My fingers are crossed.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  Ginner Goodwin – I am sorry.  “Once Upon A Time” is no longer in my life.  Please find a project that is less annoying so that I may lust to you properly.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 [REVIEW]