Manka Bros. Will Not Bid On MGM

Ari Emanuel, Bedi A. Singh, Ben Silverman, Bruce Tuchman, Chairman's Blog, Charles Cohen, Erik Lomis, Gary Marenzi, Gary S. Weinstein, Gerald Ament, Glenn M. Creamer, Harry E. Sloan, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jim Packer, Jonathan M. Nelson, Julie A. Fisher, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mary Parent, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, MGM, MGM sale, Michael Vollman, Patrick Corso, Paul J. Salem, Providence Equity Partners, Scott Packman, Stephen F. Cooper, Steve Hendry, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company

Ari Emanuel, Bedi A. Singh, Ben Silverman, Bruce Tuchman, Chairman's Blog, Charles Cohen, Erik Lomis, Gary Marenzi, Gary S. Weinstein, Gerald Ament, Glenn M. Creamer, Harry E. Sloan, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jim Packer, Jonathan M. Nelson, Julie A. Fisher, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mary Parent, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, MGM, MGM sale, Michael Vollman, Patrick Corso, Paul J. Salem, Providence Equity Partners, Scott Packman, Stephen F. Cooper, Steve Hendry, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media CompanyGood afternoon.

Last night, I called MGM CEO Mary Parent to inform her that Manka Bros. would not be bidding on MGM.  Many have speculated that Manka Bros. would be the most likely suitor of MGM (which includes the 4,000 film library) but I have decided that it would no longer be a strategic fit for our company (though if the bidding falls below $1 billion, I may have to rethink things).

Manka Bros. is the world’s largest media company with the world’s largest film library and we simply don’t need to add 4,000 more titles to it.  Manka Classic Movies, as it is, can only show about 3,500 movies a year (24×7 without commercials).  At that rate, it would take us at least four years to show every film in our library (and we don’t want to show every film in our library as most of them are total crap).

There was a time when I wanted to own all the copyrights of the world.  I think I may be changing my mind now that DVD is dead and pirates are stealing everything we produce.

So, sorry MGM, hopefully Time Warner or Fox will bail your asses out.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. – I would like to offer Mary Parent a job if the new owners foolishly don’t keep her.  She seems really on top of things.

The Warren Lieberfarb Experience

Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Barry Meyer, Bellagio Suite, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, CES 2010, Chairman's Blog, Chris Cookson, father of DVD, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, John Calkins, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Rupert Murdoch, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Tony DiSanto, Warren Lieberfarb, Warren Lieberfarb and Associates, World's Largest Media Company

Good morning from the Wynn Encore in Vegas!

Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Barry Meyer, Bellagio Suite, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, CES 2010, Chairman's Blog, Chris Cookson, father of DVD, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, John Calkins, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Rupert Murdoch, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Tony DiSanto, Warren Lieberfarb, Warren Lieberfarb and Associates, World's Largest Media CompanyYesterday, I received a call from my old friend and employee Warren Lieberfarb.  I was completely taken by surprise as I hadn’t heard from him for a few years.

His ego had gotten so completely out of control after he was crowned the King of DVD that I really had no interest in talking to him or dealing with his bullshit.

It seems that Warren has a new venture in which a large bio-mechanical chip (about the size of a playing card) is inserted under the skin of your arm.  Downloaded onto this chip is your entire library of movies, television shows, games and music (HD or standard def).

Using the (patent pending) LieberScanner 8000, this library can be transferred to any TV, PC or mobile device with a simple scan of the barcode on the chip in your arm.

Normally, I would have hung up on Warren right there (especially when he drones on and on about something as ridiculous as the LieberScanner 8000) but he mentioned that he was having a party in his suite at the Bellagio and I had nothing else to do last night (Terry Semel, the jerk, bailed on our dinner plans at the last minute for “something else he had to do”).

Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Barry Meyer, Bellagio Suite, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, CES 2010, Chairman's Blog, Chris Cookson, father of DVD, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, John Calkins, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Rupert Murdoch, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Tony DiSanto, Warren Lieberfarb, Warren Lieberfarb and Associates, World's Largest Media CompanyI arrived at Warren’s suite via a private solid gold elevator.  He had quite a set up – similar to Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.  High-tech hangers on and home video geeks stood around the outer lobby of his suite just hoping to get a glimpse of the great man.  But only a privileged few (such as myself) were allowed inside.

Warren and I go back about 30 years to the beginnings of the home video boom.  When the VHS cassette was first introduced, I hired Warren to go from house-to-house to sell Manka Bros. film titles from the trunk of his 1974 Datsun.  He was so good at selling shitty copies of “Black Illiad” and “Mother Trucker” for $89.95 each that I offered him the chance to head up our new home video division – but he had already taken a job with Warners.

Things really fell apart between him and me when he was trying to get DVD off the ground and Manka Bros. was firmly in the DIVX camp (we still are today – though, reluctantly, we do offer our titles on DVD).  We’re also still in the HD-DVD campFuck Blu-ray!).

So… to continue… I entered the inner-sanctum of Warren’s suite to see him holding court in front of a 75-inch plasma screen.  His right arm was exposed to show the giant chip embedded in his arm.  Surrounding him was a group of slackjawed lapdog executives all salivating at the thought of this new technology and what it can do for them.

Now Warren doesn’t actually have the funding yet for this new idea, so for his demonstration he was using a child’s scanner from some Fisher-Price grocery store toy.  He continued:

Warren Lieberfarb: … As the LieberScanner 8000 rolls over the barcode, my entire library is now transferred to every device in the room – the television, the computer, the iPhone, etc.

Nothing really happened when he clicked the scanner, but people were impressed nonetheless.  It was only Lady Gaga that brought up any kind of criticism.

Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Barry Meyer, Bellagio Suite, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, CES 2010, Chairman's Blog, Chris Cookson, father of DVD, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, John Calkins, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Rupert Murdoch, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Tony DiSanto, Warren Lieberfarb, Warren Lieberfarb and Associates, World's Largest Media CompanyLady Gaga: Why does it have to be implanted in your arm?

Warren Lieberfarb: Who the fuck are you?  Are you wearing butterfly wings?  And are they bleeding?

Lady Gaga:
Just answer the question.

Warren Lieberfarb: The chip is implanted in your arm so that you always have your intellectual property with you.  You won’t lose it if it’s sewn into your arm.  And, when you want to buy more movies and music, just scan the item and it’s downloaded into the chip and charged to your credit card.

Lady Gaga: Why not just put everything on a small storage device and put it in your wallet or purse?  This idea is so stupid.

Warren Lieberfarb:
I want her out of here.  Throw her off the roof and see if she can fly.

A couple of MBA-types who looked like they worked out, grabbed Lady Gaga by the wings and pulled her screaming out of the room.

I had seen enough and knew, like Strauss Zelnick’s recent rooftop salon, that I probably shouldn’t have come.  I decided to leave without even saying hello to Warren.  I’ll send him a fruit basket and wish him well on his new venture.

Tonight, I’ll be playing poker with Ben Silverman at the Palms.  If I survive, I’ll write about it.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Yemen Theme Park – January 2010 Update

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Ali Abdullah Saleh, Angela Bromstad, Apple iPad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Avatar, Bacara, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bryan Lourd, Craig Smith, David Rosenblatt, Disney, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Ezra Kucharz, Fortune's 40 under 40, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Jack Nicholson, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Jordan, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kanye West, Kara Swisher, Keynote address, Khan Manka, King Abdulah, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Manka Fun Parks, Mark Stein, media analyst, Michael Eisner, Michael Jackson, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Pyramid Lake, Rahm Emanuel, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club, Roman Polanski, Ryan Seacrest, Saana Nights Hotel, San'a, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Slivovitz, Southern Fried Rock, Steve Jobs, Sumner Redstone, Super Bowl 44, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, Theme Parks, thewrap.com, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, twitter, Universal Studios, Vicky Adler-Modry, Victor Kaufman, Warner Bros., Yemen

Abu Dhabi Media Company, Abu Dhabi Media Summit 2010, Andrew Critchlow, Apple, Barry Meyer, Ben Silverman, City of Gold, Didier Lombard, Dirk Meyer, Dr. Kai-Fu-Lee, Dr. Prannoy Roy, Dr. Suk-Chae Lee, Edward Borgerding, Eric Schmidt, H.e. K.K. Al Mubarak, H.E. Mohamed Khalaf Al Mazrouei, H.E. Mohammed Omran, Hans Vestberg, Hartmut Ostrowski, James Murdoch, Jeff Immelt, Jeff Zucker, Jim Crane, Jon Miller, Karim Sabbagh, Khan Manka, Kishore Lulla, Manka Bros., Maurice Levy, Mehmet Ali Yalcindag, Mike Fairburn, Mohammed Omran, Nour Malas, Owen Van Natta, Prince Bin Talal, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Stefania Bianchi, Steve Ballmer, Steve Jobs, Sunil Bharti Mittal, The World's Largest Media Company, Tim Armstrong, Tony OrstenGood morning and happy 2010!

Because of all the recent terrorist activity going on in Yemen, I just wanted to give a quick update on the status of Manka Bros.’ billion dollar Manka Fun Park Yemen.

As many of you may remember, I went to Yeman last August for the groundbreaking ceremony.  After that, due to political turmoil and badly handled wire transfers, they never got around to actually starting construction.

Now, it seems that there are terrorists operating in and around the site for the future theme park.

I just want to assure everyone involved that steps have been taken to ensure the safety of any future tourists to our theme park.  Metal detectors have been installed and intense cavity searches will be conducted on anyone entering the park.  So safety is not an issue and we are moving forward with the project as planned.

Ali Abdullah Saleh, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Disney, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jordan, Kanye West, Khan Manka, King Abdulah, Manka Bros., Manka Fun Parks, Rahm Emanuel, Saana Nights Hotel, San'a, Slivovitz, Sumner Redstone, Theme Parks, Universal Studios, Vicky Adler-Modry, Warner Bros., YemenEven though I thought the opening would have to be pushed back a few months to 2011, I was reassured by the Yemeni leader Ali Abdullah Saleh that since labor costs in that country are non-existent and there are no overtime rules, the scheduled opening later this year will easily be met.

That’s the beauty of a dictatorship!

This is great news for Manka Bros. because Yemen is a completely untapped market for Western-style entertainment.  Disney has been too busy concentrating on China to realize where the real money is.  Losers.  We will have the market to ourselves.

Now if we can only get a fucking movie that makes money we’ll really be on a roll.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios

Happy Holidays From Chairman & CEO Khan Manka, Jr.

Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brian Roberts, Chairman's Blog, Disney, Electus, Fox, Hanukkah, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., NBC Universal, News Corporation, Peter Chernin, private island, Robert Iger, Strauss Zelnick, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Turks & Caicos, Wall Street, Xfinity

Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brian Roberts, Chairman's Blog, Disney, Electus, Fox, Hanukkah, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., NBC Universal, News Corporation, Peter Chernin, private island, Robert Iger, Strauss Zelnick, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Turks & Caicos, Wall Street, XfinityGood morning.

As this challenging year comes to a close, I just wanted to say to the employees that are left at Manka Bros., have a great holiday and I’ll see you at some point next year.

Because my bitch of an ex-wife took my daughter, Connie, with her to some God awful place in Colorado for Hanukkah, I have gone to my private island in Turks & Caicos.

Several other powerful media moguls are here with me to spend a few days in the Caribbean sun before we all have to return to the horrible grind of running a major media company.

I would tell you the names of those here, but Bob Iger and Sumner Redstone said not to say a word – that Wall Street would read something into it and send our stock prices further down.  Jeff Zucker, Brian Roberts and Strauss Zelnick also wanted me to remain quiet.

If something interesting happens, I’ll blog about it in this space.

Keep working!  2010 must be better!

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. – Remember, if you are Jewish, Christmas Day is NOT a paid holiday.

Comcast CEO Brian Roberts Called Me Last Night

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, NBC Universal, New York Times, News Corp., OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralph Roberts, Robert Iger, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Steve Case, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, Time Warner, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media Company

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, NBC Universal, New York Times, News Corp., OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralph Roberts, Robert Iger, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Steve Case, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, Time Warner, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media CompanyGood morning.  I just want to say to all the thousands of Manka Bros. employees who think they’ve got a shitty job… you have no idea how lucky you are.  You could work at Comcast.

My old friend Brian Roberts called me in a panic last night.

[A little back story:  Brian and I go way back to my days in King Khan (my 1970s rock band)Brian filled in one night on bass and was absolutely horrible.  For some reason, he thought he would be able to rock and get chicks without even knowing how to hold the damn instrument.  I fired him after one song.  Audience member Dexter Clangfree jumped on stage and finished the show (and became our full time bass player).  Brian still hung around the band like a groupie and we eventually let him into our inner circle.  We called him “Bogart Brian” because once you passed him a joint, you never got it back.]

Anyway… Brian called me last night in an absolute drunken panic about this upcoming disastrous acquisition of NBC Universal.  The first words out of his mouth were:  “Khan, what the fuck am I doing?  This is madness.  Why would anyone in their right mind overpay for a failed broadcast network and failed movie studio!  Didn’t you read ‘The Curse of the Mogul’?”

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, NBC Universal, New York Times, News Corp., OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralph Roberts, Robert Iger, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Steve Case, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, Time Warner, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media CompanyI told him he wasn’t in his right mind but added that ‘The Curse of the Mogul’ is complete bullshit and he shouldn’t pay any attention to what the jealous, wannabe mogul hacks who wrote that book had to say.

I continued:  “Manka Bros. is the world’s largest media company.  There is no disputing that – and there wasn’t one mention of Manka Bros. it that goddamned book!  All credibility is lost right there.  And these fuckers are going to tell me that being the biggest isn’t a competitive advantage?   Put Mike Tyson in a boxing ring with Wally Cox and tell me that size isn’t a competitive advantage!”

There was a pause.  I could hear ice clinking through the other end of the phone.  I knew Brian was drinking heavily.

I finished my thought:  “That said… this Comcast / NBC deal is fucking stupid.  You should do what Tiger Woods didn’t do… pull out.”

Brian whimpered like he always does when in a tight corner:  “I can’t do that, Khan.  There is something… bigger at hand here.  I can’t talk.  They’re watching my every move.  ZUCKER CROWS AT DAWN!… I’m sorry, Khan, I’ve put your life in danger.  Pray for me!”

He let out an anguished grunt which was followed by a muffled click… and he was gone.

Zucker Crows At Dawn? Poor Brian.  Another successful brainwashing by Jeff Zucker – who continues to amaze me in his ability to fail upward.  Somebody should just fire that guy before more people lose their minds.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. – To all Comcast shareholders… SELL SELL SELL!

Standing In Line For The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Alex Meraz, Andres Serrano, Anna Kendrick, Ari Emanuel, Ashley Greene, Ben Silverman, big content strategy, Bill Bannerman, Billy Burke, Cam Gigandet, Chairman's blog, Chaske Spencer, Chris Weitz, Christian Serratos, Christina Jastrzembska, Dakota Fanning, Greg Mooradian, Guy Oseary, Jackson Rathbone, Jamie Campbell Bower, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Kellan Lutz, Khan Manka, Kiowa Gordon, Kristen Stewart, Manka Bros., Mariska Hargitay, Mark Morgan, Marty Bowen, Melissa Rosenberg, Michael Sheen, Michael Welch, Nikki Reed, Peter Fancinelli, Piss Christ, Rachelle Lefevre, Rob Friedman, Robert Pattinson, Robin Rafe, Russell Roberts, Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment, Taylor Lautner, tent pole strategy, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, World's Largest Media Company

Alex Meraz, Andres Serrano, Anna Kendrick, Ari Emanuel, Ashley Greene, Ben Silverman, big content strategy, Bill Bannerman, Billy Burke, Cam Gigandet, Chairman's blog, Chaske Spencer, Chris Weitz, Christian Serratos, Christina Jastrzembska, Dakota Fanning, Greg Mooradian, Guy Oseary, Jackson Rathbone, Jamie Campbell Bower, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Kellan Lutz, Khan Manka, Kiowa Gordon, Kristen Stewart, Manka Bros., Mariska Hargitay, Mark Morgan, Marty Bowen, Melissa Rosenberg, Michael Sheen, Michael Welch, Nikki Reed, Peter Fancinelli, Piss Christ, Rachelle Lefevre, Rob Friedman, Robert Pattinson, Robin Rafe, Russell Roberts, Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment, Taylor Lautner, tent pole strategy, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, World's Largest Media CompanyGood morning.

Last night at about midnight, after a few minutes of pathetic begging by my 12-year old daughter Connie (who is also a newly-minted Manka Bros. Board member), I had my driver, Leif Garrett (yes, former child star) drop her off at the line of freaks waiting to get tickets to The Twilight Saga: New Moon.  She told me she was going to meet her (punk ass) friends Jenny and Skylark and wouldn’t be back until she has seen the movie – and then added… “it might take days”.

This got me thinking:  When was the last time Manka Bros. had a film that people wanted to see so bad that they lined up days in advance to see the first showings.

The answer?  Never.  Fucking never.  It’s an embarrassment.

We’ve had people show up to block the theater – as they did in 1989 after we made a film based on “Piss Christ”, the controversial photograph by Andres Serrano, but never anyone camping out because they couldn’t wait to see it.

This has to change.  I called Robin Rafe (President of the Manka Bros. Theatrical Group) at around 3:00a.m. this morning and told her to get right on it.  I want movies made by Manka Bros. that generate excitement, and buzz, and long lines at the theaters.  In short, I want mega-blockbusters!

I don’t believe I am being unreasonable here.  I only want four or five of these types of films every year – year-after-year.  And this will fit nicely into our BIG CONTENT STRATEGY launched a few months ago.

I would like a list of these big ideas before Thanksgiving. If you don’t think this is possible, please cancel any Thanksgiving plans you may have and stay at the studio until I have my list.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company 

P.S. – I will be in Aspen for Thanksgiving with Mariska Hargitay – so please send the list to my house there if it’s not ready by Monday (November 23).

Dinner With Harvey Weinstein

Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob Weinstein, Harvey Weinstein, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Malcolm Gladwell, Manka Bros., Mark Gill, Miramax, OnMedea, Rob Zombie, Sizzler, Strauss Zelnick, Terry Semel, Texas Toast, The Daily Beast, The Weinstein Company, The World's Largest Media Company, Tina Brown

Last night, I received a somewhat desperate call from Harvey Weinstein. He said he wanted to take me out to dinner and discuss something that could be incredibly beneficial to both our companies.

I could tell this was going to be a disastrous meeting.

Since Harvey offered to pay, he chose a restaurant that he could afford – the Sizzler on Hollywood Blvd. He told me not worry about what it costs, that he was paying for “all I could eat.”

Sizzler salad bar, Harvey Weinstein, Khan Manka

We sat at his normal booth and the waitress, Maria, brought us some Texas ToastHarvey folded his piece and took a healthy double-bite.

“Let me get right to the point, Khan. I want to take Manka Bros. off your hands.Based on your Theatrical and TV slates, I can see you are struggling. All I would need is for you to spot me a $10 million dollar upfront payment. I’ll take it from there.”

I barely heard what he was saying because the Texas Toast was surprisingly excellent.

Khan, did you hear what I said? Maria, more fucking toast over here – chop chop!”

“You want me to pay you $10 million to take my company away from me. Ten fucking million for the world’s largest media company – which my father and uncles founded and built from the ground up a 100 years ago? Are you fucking nuts?”

Maria brought another basket of Texas Toast – our hands bumped reaching for it.

Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob Weinstein, Harvey Weinstein, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Malcolm Gladwell, Manka Bros., Mark Gill, Miramax, OnMedea, Rob Zombie, Sizzler, Strauss Zelnick, Terry Semel, Texas Toast, The Daily Beast, The Weinstein Company, The World's Largest Media Company, Tina Brown

“Fuckin’ losers those guys, Khan. No offense. I’ll turn your goddamned dinosaur of a business into a cash cow in… oh, I don’t know… three weeks! I’ll fuckin’ get Tina Brown to run your books division. I’ll fuckin’ get Rob Zombie to do some kind of movie shit, asshole.Think about it.”

Harvey got up to go to the salad bar. “Do you want some cantaloupe?”

I nodded my head and made a call to Lloyd Grohl (Manka Bros. President and COO) to see if there was anything we could or should do for poor HarveyLloyd quickly told me to turn him down nicely and get out of the Sizzler as fast as I could – that my life was in danger!

Harvey returned and saw me clicking off the phone. “Who the fuck was that?”

“Nobody, Harvey. Look, I have to turn you down. Manka Bros. isn’t for sale and will never be for sale. Manka Bros. is a giant fucking media conglomerate. The biggest in the world. You don’t buy us – we buy you. And, from what I hear about your current financial situation, I don’t want to buy you.”

“OK, Khan. I understand.”

Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob Weinstein, Harvey Weinstein, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Malcolm Gladwell, Manka Bros., Mark Gill, Miramax, OnMedea, Rob Zombie, Sizzler, Strauss Zelnick, Terry Semel, Texas Toast, The Daily Beast, The Weinstein Company, The World's Largest Media Company, Tina Brown

I paused, expecting one of his signature tirades. It didn’t come.  He was just staring at his Texas Toast.

“Harvey? You’re OK with that?”

“Yes, Khan… but, one night when you’re sleeping, I will enter your bedroom and skull fuck you to death.”

It was said in such a kind, light-hearted way, it almost seemed like a compliment.

Harvey took bite of a taco, the juice dribbling down his chin.

“Hey, Khan… you wanna buy some shoes?”

By the end of the night, I agreed to buy his shoes for $15.

I think I like poor Harvey better than rich Harvey.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

The World’s Largest Media Company

Angela Telegdy, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, CBS, Disney, Gay Moroccan Poetry, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., media company layoffs, NBC Universal, News Corporation, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Paul Bricault, Rupert Murdoch, Seamus, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Chairman's Blog, thewrap.com, Time Warner, Viacom, World's Largest Media Company

Good morning.

I just received word from our media research department that, based on size, Manka Bros. Studios remains the World’s Largest Media Company for the 23rd straight year even after last quarter’s very disappointing earnings report (and party) in which our Theatrical Group didn’t have one movie that worked; our Television Group hasn’t had one break-out show on MBS; our Music Group only had one release that received any attention (Seamus’ He’s Not Comin’ Home); and our Publishing Group believes Gay Moroccan Poetry is the answer to our problems!

Angela Telegdy, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, CBS, Disney, Gay Moroccan Poetry, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Les Moonves, Manka Bros., media company layoffs, NBC Universal, News Corporation, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Paul Bricault, Rupert Murdoch, Seamus, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Chairman's Blog, thewrap.com, Time Warner, Viacom, World's Largest Media CompanyThe “world’s largest” status is obviously not a result of our employees’ performance at their jobs – because you don’t become number one by sucking.  No… it is only a result of my superb leadership during this extremely difficult time.  And I’m tired of carrying you people.  It’s time to step it up!

If things don’t improve going forward, I will not hesitate to institute another cost-cutting program that will not be as kind as the last one.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. – Manka Bros. will announce 3rd Quarter 2009 earnings on October 29.

Sumner Redstone Is Staying At My House…

Ari Emanuel, Audrina Patridge, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Cate Blanchett, CBS, Chairman's Blog, Ismaralda, Jacobean Comedy, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Khan Manka, LAX, Leif Garrett, Lifetime Movie Network, Los Angeles Dodgers, Manka Bros., Mariska Hargitay, MTV, Nikki Finke, Paula Fortunato, Rebecca De Mornay, Rebecca DeMornay, Sharon Waxman, Slivovitz, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Hills, Tila Tequila, Trader Vic's, Viacom, World's Largest Media Company

Ari Emanuel, Audrina Patridge, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Cate Blanchett, CBS, Chairman's Blog, Ismaralda, Jacobean Comedy, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Khan Manka, LAX, Leif Garrett, Lifetime Movie Network, Los Angeles Dodgers, Manka Bros., Mariska Hargitay, MTV, Nikki Finke, Paula Fortunato, Rebecca De Mornay, Rebecca DeMornay, Sharon Waxman, Slivovitz, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Hills, Tila Tequila, Trader Vic's, Viacom, World's Largest Media CompanyEver since he announced his divorce from Paula Fortunato a few months ago, Sumner Redstone has been at staying on and off at my house.

Every night, he wants to go out and “party at Trader Vic’s“.  And every night, I tell him that Trader Vic’s closed a few years ago.  Sumner is 86 years old and doesn’t take no for an answer.  So last night, once again, we went to “Trader Vic’s” to “party” (we actually went to LAX – a very sweaty club in Hollywood).

Even though Sumner and myself are two of the most powerful people in entertainment, we sometimes aren’t immediately recognized in public.

So I asked my driver (and former child star) Leif Garrett to call ahead and make sure we would be given the proper respect at the door.  He must have said the right things because when we arrived at the club, there was a gaggle of drunken girls in their 20s waiting for us.

Sumner slammed a shot of Slivovitz and jumped out of the limo before it had come to a complete stop.  He rolled awkwardly onto the pavement but hopped right back up and moved as fast as he could to the young girls like some perverted Grandpa.

I would have preferred to stay in the car getting drunk with Leif Garrett and watch the MLB playoffs – or go over to Mariska Hargitay’s house and watch whatever-it-is horrible show that she does… but here I was at LAX with Sumner Redstone looking pathetic as we tried to keep up with these dumb young girls.

Ari Emanuel, Audrina Patridge, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Cate Blanchett, CBS, Chairman's Blog, Ismaralda, Jacobean Comedy, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Khan Manka, LAX, Leif Garrett, Lifetime Movie Network, Los Angeles Dodgers, Manka Bros., Mariska Hargitay, MTV, Nikki Finke, Paula Fortunato, Rebecca De Mornay, Rebecca DeMornay, Sharon Waxman, Slivovitz, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Hills, Tila Tequila, Trader Vic's, Viacom, World's Largest Media CompanyOnce inside, Sumner was completely out of control.  I found him huddled at a back corner table making out with Tila Tequila.  To  see that in person is as disturbing as it sounds.

Ari Emanuel, Audrina Patridge, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Cate Blanchett, CBS, Chairman's Blog, Ismaralda, Jacobean Comedy, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Khan Manka, LAX, Leif Garrett, Lifetime Movie Network, Los Angeles Dodgers, Manka Bros., Mariska Hargitay, MTV, Nikki Finke, Paula Fortunato, Rebecca De Mornay, Rebecca DeMornay, Sharon Waxman, Slivovitz, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Hills, Tila Tequila, Trader Vic's, Viacom, World's Largest Media CompanyAudrina (who I later found out was an actress on some MTV show) and Cate Blanchett were at the same table in the middle of a very animated conversation about Jacobean comedy.

I figured my only option at this point was to get as drunk as possible.  Which I did.

Audrina is actually a very nice person and the most intelligent woman I have ever met.

She told me that she was such a consummate actor that she had her teeth overly whitened for the part of “Audrina” and actually has very brown smokers teeth underneath with several gaps.  It didn’t matter to me.  I liked her!  We talked about her favorite Manka Bros. Films – she has very good taste.  She later left with her boyfriend – some MIT grad student in molecular biology.  Nice kid.

I could go on and on about last night – but it’s just too sad.

The low point of the evening came when Tila Tequila was told the old dude she was making out with was Sumner Redstone – the Chairman & CEO of Viacom (her show is on MTV which is owned by Viacom).  She SLAPPED him across the face and starting screaming, “You son of a bitch!  My stock options are under water because of you!  You owe me money!”  Sumner said something along of the lines of “Stand in line, sweetheart.”

I’m not sure who she thought he was but it was all very bizarre.  Sumner then tried to hit on Cate Blanchett – but that was a non-starter.

I finally got Sumner back to the house.  My cook, Ismaralda got him changed and made him some beef stew.  We spent the rest of the evening watching the Lifetime Movie Network which Sumner said made him feel safe and warm.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios

The Future Of Television – As Told To Me By Michael Eisner

All For Nots, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Dick Cook, Disney, duck hunting, Future of Television, Haim Saban, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Military helilcopter, Prom Queen, Robert Iger, Samhas7friends, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the Chairman's Blog, Tornante Company, Veoh, Vuguru, Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah Winfrey

All For Nots, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Dick Cook, Disney, duck hunting, Future of Television, Haim Saban, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Military helilcopter, Prom Queen, Robert Iger, Samhas7friends, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the Chairman's Blog, Tornante Company, Veoh, Vuguru, Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah WinfreyGood afternoon.

Over the past few days, Michael Eisner’s lawyers have attempted to put a muzzle on me.

Apparently, M.E. didn’t like the idea of me blogging about our Duck Hunting trip last week and wanted to try and stop me from putting up a part two.  Some of the top lawyers in Hollywood have been fighting and I’m completely fed up with it.  I’m just going blog and don’t give a shit what the repercussions may be.

As I was saying last week, Michael Eisner picked me up in his military-style helicopter and took me duck hunting.  I had never been duck hunting before and I don’t scare easily, but when I climbed into that Duck Blind with M.E. and saw the crazed look in his eyes, I was afraid.

As he started to load his 12-gauge shotgun with shells, he looked up:

M.E.:  It gets a lot darker at night for me than anyone else in the world.  I’m going to leave my head to science so they can try to figure out what the hell was going on inside my brain.

We sat in silence for about five minutes.  Someone had already loaded a gun for me and I had it across my lap, not quite sure what to do with it.  M.E. fluttered his eyes a bit as he blew softly into an ominous sounding duck call that echoed over the lake.

KM:  So… what do we do?  Sit here and wait for the ducks and then try to shoot them?

M.E.:  Waiting for the ducks.  Ha, that’s the problem with Manka Bros.  You’re always waiting for the ducks.

KM:  What the fuck does that mean?  I run the biggest media company in the world and you’re telling me what’s wrong with my company?  What do you got?  Baseball cards?

Suddenly, M.E. leaped to his feet, swinging the gun up.

M.E.:  QUACK RIGHT SHOOT!

He blasted two quick SHOTS.  There were two quick duck HONKS.  And then two quick SPLASHES.

All For Nots, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Dick Cook, Disney, duck hunting, Future of Television, Haim Saban, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Military helilcopter, Prom Queen, Robert Iger, Samhas7friends, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the Chairman's Blog, Tornante Company, Veoh, Vuguru, Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah WinfreyM.E:  Katzenberg!  Ducks!

His dog, Katzenberg, leaped out of the blind and swam toward the killed ducks.  Katzenberg gathered them in his mouth and swam back to the blind.

M.E.:  Good dog.  Pretty slow on the trigger there, Khan.

KM:  You don’t mind if I just sit here, do you?  I really don’t want to shoot at ducks.  My life is interesting enough.

M.E.’s eyes darted back and forth, not sure whether to shoot me or let it go.  We momentarily returned to small talk, asking about each other’s families and our health, etc.  M.E. shot eight more ducks.  Katzenberg fished them out of the pond.  Finally, M.E. got around to the point he wanted to make.

M.E.:  The future of television is fucked.

KM:  In its current form, yes, I would say it is challenged.

M.E.:  In any form.  It’s over.  Spending additional dollars on a declining asset is what dumb asses do.

All For Nots, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Dick Cook, Disney, duck hunting, Future of Television, Haim Saban, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Michael Eisner, Military helilcopter, Prom Queen, Robert Iger, Samhas7friends, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, the Chairman's Blog, Tornante Company, Veoh, Vuguru, Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah WinfreyKM:  There’s still an audience.  You gotta put something on the air.  Severed Fingers is profitable just from International sales.  Why quit a business that’s profitable?

M.E.:  Why don’t you sell typewriters or bulk up on VHS cassettes or dial-up modems?  Plenty of people still need those things and you’ll make a profit since it means so fucking much to you.  Whoop-tee-fuckin-do!

His eyes were starting to roll back into his head.  I knew I had to get out of there.  I had no idea where I was but I did have my Blackberry and was able to send a PING to my assistant, Vicky.  Once she receives my distress call I am normally picked up within the hour no matter where I am in the world.

KM:  Then, tell me Michael, where do you think media is headed?  Online?  Cell phones?  You know, Manka Bros. is spending $1 billion on short-form internet-only content.

M.E.:  I will shoot you dead if you mention the “I” word again.  The Internet is over.  My online series “Prom Queen” hit at the peak of that fad.  No no… the future is right here.

KM:  What do you mean?  A couple of guys talking by a pond with a loaded gun in their hands?

M.E.:  That’s part of it.  Human interaction is the future.  It’s real.  Something you can’t slap a banner ad next to and call it “paid content”.  It’s just you, me and the meat that we kill and eat.  I’m going “into the wild”.

He seemed sincere.  He looked tired.   Frankly, he looked done.

M.E.:  You may go, Khan.  If you tell anyone about this conversation, I will hunt you down and slaughter you like a mountain goat.

Michael Eisner’s chopper took me away and I was back in Los Angeles in time to watch the suck-ass Dodgers lose.  Mariska Hargitay was the only guest allowed in the Manka Bros. Suite at Dodgers Stadium.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. – Do not fret, Manka Bros. will still be producing high-quality television content long after Michael Eisner freezes to death in a bus outside of Fairbanks, Alaska.