The Jay Leno Show – R.I.P.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris Endeavor

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris EndeavorStop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message The Jay Leno Show is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

Jay at 10pm was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that show would last forever:  I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now:  put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W.H. Auden

——————————————————————–
Yes, Ben Silverman and Jeff Zucker really changed the future of television.  Actually, no… they didn’t.  They didn’t at all.

After all the bravado and presentations.. all the parties and press conferences with claims of blowing up business models and television never being the same… what do we have left?  Jay Leno on The Tonight Show at 11:30 and scripted dramas at 10pm.

It’s now up to Ben Silverman’s Electus to change the world.  Come on, Ben, you can do it – put down the blonde and get to work.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Should News Corp Buy Viacom

Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William Schwartz

Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William SchwartzAdam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William SchwartzYES!

But only Viacom’s cable networks and digital assetsCBS (not wanting to leave the cocoon of Old Media) should buy Viacom’s Paramount Pictures.

Is there any chance in hell this could actually happen?  Could Rupert Murdoch pull off an acquisition of that magnitude?

No fucking way.  Not while old man Redstone continues to draw a breath.

So, yes, it’s most likely a non-starter.  But even in a fantasy scenario, wouldn’t it be great to finally get rid of Viacom and Redstone?  Both are simply a mess and completely unnecessary.

[Note:  I realize Sumner Redstone is Chairman of the Board and majority stockholder of CBS, but Les Moonves is the much more appealing face of that company, not SumnerSumner is the face of Viacom… and the media world has had enough.]

Adam Townsend, Alan Ruck, Amy Baer, Angeline Straka, Anthony Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Brendan Fraser, Bruce S. Gordon, Bruce Tobey, Carl Folta, Carla Santos Shamberg, CBS Films, Charlie Gifford, Chase Carey, David Andelman, David Poltrack, Debbie Miller, DebManka Bros., Diego Velazquez, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Geeta Anand, Gil Schwartz, Harrison Ford, Harvey Weinstein, Jared Harris, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Jordana Glick-Franzheim, Joseph A. Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Rothstein, Jr., Keri Russell, Khan Manka, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Meredith Droeger, Michael Shamberg, Nan Morales, News Corporation, OnMedea, Patrick Bauchau, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Sullivan, Richard Jones, Rik Toulon, Rob Friedman, Robert Nelson Jacobs, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Hall, Shari Redstone, Stacey Sher, Steven Friedlander, Summit Entertainment, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Weinstein Company, Thomas Dooley, Tom Vaughan, Viacom, Wade Davis, William S. CohenImagine News Corp (which has the weakest portfolio of cable assets save Fox News, FX and those regional sports thingies) with Viacom’s cable channels: MTV, Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, TV Land, VH1, etc. etc.

This would immediately fill all News Corp’s demographic needs and, in the digital channel universe, put them on par with Time Warner, Disney and, in late 2010, Comcast.

Viacom was never going to be on par with anyone as long as Sumner is around (even with those assets)… so it’s time to shut it down.

As for CBS and their acquisition of Paramount Pictures… they, obviously, just want to be an old media company and ride that peaceful, easy feeling all the way into the grave.  Buying Paramount Pictures (and, hey, why not MGM while they’re at it!) would help realize that mid-1990s-vertical-alignment-synergy-world they are striving for.  And based on Comcast’s purchase of NBCU (which valued Universal Studios at less than $3 billion), Paramount, with its much smaller film and television library, can be picked up at quite a fire sale bargain.  (Wait two years and it will be even more of a bargain!)

Also, this would give CBS the opportunity to shut down the ridiculous CBS Films vanity project before it becomes a further embarrassment.

So, think about it people.  A deal like this would really be a win-win-win for everyone… and help us to get rid of (at least a part of) Sumner Redstone once and for all.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Xfinity – R.I.P.

Alix Cottrell, Amy Banse, Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ben Silverman, Brian Roberts, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Cohen, Dr. Judith Rodin, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, fancastXfinity, Gerald Hassell, Hulu, J. Michael Cook, Jason Kilar, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Julian Brodsky, Karin Gilford, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Sovern, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Ralph Roberts, S. Decker Anstrom, Samuel Schwartz, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Terry Semel, Tom Fuelling, Xfinity, Xfinity TVYesterday, I told Comcast to dump Fancast and embrace Hulu.

Today, we learn that Comcast has decided to change the name of Fancast to FancastXfinity or just Xfinity.

Horrible – horrible name.

No one will use it.

Xfinity is dead.

As I said yesterday to Comcast (and say again today), dump Fancast (Xfinity) and embrace Hulu.  You might as well get some benefit from this disastrous acquisition of NBC Universal.

All other confusing video watching sites owned by Comcast (currently running or in development) must be destroyed.

While on the subject of Comcast NBC Universal, my boss, Khan Manka, Jr., had a truly bizarre conversation with Comcast CEO Brian Roberts last night.  I’m still trying to make sense of it.  Check it out here.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Comcast Should Dump Fancast, Embrace Hulu

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ben Silverman, Brian Roberts, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Cohen, Dr. Judith Rodin, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Hulu, J. Michael Cook, Jason Kilar, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Sovern, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Ralph Roberts, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Terry Semel, Tom Fuelling

Here’s why:

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ben Silverman, Brian Roberts, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Cohen, Dr. Judith Rodin, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Hulu, J. Michael Cook, Jason Kilar, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Sovern, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Ralph Roberts, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Terry Semel, Tom Fuelling“OPTION 1:  SWITCH TO ANOTHER BROWSER?”

What is my five-year-old daughter and my 90-year-old grandmother supposed to do with that?!

When I go to Hulu, I get no prompt that says (in so many words) “MY MACHINE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO FOR THIS WEBSITE!” – it just plays the videos I want to watch.  That’s it.  No downloads.  No waiting.  No rebooting.

Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ben Silverman, Brian Roberts, Chadwick Ho, Comcast, David Cohen, Dr. Judith Rodin, Edward Breen, Eric Feng, Fancast, Gerald Hassell, Hulu, J. Michael Cook, Jason Kilar, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Julian Brodsky, Kenneth Bacon, Khan Manka, Lawrence Salva, Manka Bros., Michael Angelakis, Michael Sovern, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Ralph Roberts, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Terry Semel, Tom FuellingI’m sure Fancast has a lot of good stuff on it, but enough with the “download this player” and “update your browser” and all that crap we have had to endure for the past 10 years.  You’ve made me feel outdated and behind-the-times for too long.  Now I realize it was all bullshit.

Now that Comcast owns Fancast AND Hulu (1/3 of it), it’s time to dump the one that sucks.

Sorry Fancast.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Dear Tiger Woods, Please Keep Lying

Ari Emanuel, Barbro Holmgren, Ben Silverman, Bonnie and Clyde, David Letterman, Defamer, Drew Rosenhaus, Elin Nordegren, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jesper Parnevik, Jill Kennedy, Jon and Kate Gosselin, Josefin Nordegren, Khan Manka, Kobe Bryant, Manka Bros., Michael Jackson, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Oprah, Perez Hilton, Radar Online, Sharon Waxman, Terrell Owens, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, TMZ, WindermereOnline celebrity gossip blogs need you to keep evading authorities and issuing bizarre statements on your website.  It’s the only way many of them will be able to survive the current advertising slowdown.

For a while, the crazy death of Michael Jackson and the pending divorce of Jon & Kate sustained TMZ, Defamer, Radar, etc., but now, they really needed something to jack up the Holiday season – and your insane Thanksgiving was the perfect (the absolute perfect) present under the tree.

What you need to do now, Tiger, is barricade yourself inside your home or come out naked and drunk like something on “Cops” (throw in a scream at the helicopters for that extra zing).  Maybe you and Kobe could get together and go on some sort of cross-country crime spree ala “Bonnie and Clyde”.

I don’t really care what you decide to do next – but PLEASE DO NOT TELL THE TRUTH.  That would kill this story faster than David Letterman confessing his illicit affair on national television.

Ari Emanuel, Barbro Holmgren, Ben Silverman, Bonnie and Clyde, David Letterman, Defamer, Drew Rosenhaus, Elin Nordegren, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jesper Parnevik, Jill Kennedy, Jon and Kate Gosselin, Josefin Nordegren, Khan Manka, Kobe Bryant, Manka Bros., Michael Jackson, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Oprah, Perez Hilton, Radar Online, Sharon Waxman, Terrell Owens, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, TMZ, WindermereSo, Tiger…

DON’T come to California and host your golf tournament (keep everyone wondering where you are);

DON’T give a press conference to clear everything up (unless you decide to make it a crazy one with someone like Drew Rosenhaus as your spokesperson);

DO go on Oprah and Jay Leno once your wounds have healed for a nice, safe interview that you have full control over (and stick to your story of Elin freeing you with a golf club from your wrecked Escalade);

DO give Elin a flawless 20-carat diamond during “The View” and “thank her for saving your life”…

Etc. etc. etc.

Just don’t tell the truth.  That would ruin everything.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Notional – R.I.P.

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Chase the Money, Chopped, City Lights TV, CollegeHumor, Dance, Dave Noll, Don't Sweat It, Donna Langley, Electus, Fortune's 40 under 40, IAC, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Love Taxi, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Ready, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ryan Seacrest, Set, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, William Faulkner, You vs. AmericaThe revolution is over… and what a crappy revolution it was.

Notional – the only company to ever come up with the idea for a dating show in a taxi; a competitive cooking show; a home makeover show; as well as several shitty internet game shows in development including “Ready, Set, Dance”, “You vs. America” and “Chase the Money” – is dead.

Yes, I realize Notional hasn’t got up on its feet yet – but, based on the announcement of the “slate” today, Notional IS creatively dead.  Physically, they’re still on life support and won’t be dead until 2011 or so (thus the tombstone – thanks, R).

Oh, well.  I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what content visionary (and current Notional CEO) Ricky Van Veen will think up next.  Hopefully something that will have the same forward-thinking press release that mentions words like “revolutionary” and “ground-breaking.”

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Chase the Money, Chopped, City Lights TV, CollegeHumor, Dance, Dave Noll, Don't Sweat It, Donna Langley, Electus, Fortune's 40 under 40, IAC, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Love Taxi, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Ready, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ryan Seacrest, Set, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, William Faulkner, You vs. AmericaI must apologize to Barry Diller and all IAC shareholders for killing off his two latest content creation ventures before they really got started – (I killed Ben Silverman’s cure for what has been a cancer of bad content and business models on the internet, Electus, a couple of weeks ago… also before the launch) – but it had to be done.

Come on, Ricky, freakin’ internet game shows?  Who gives a shit?  You were so clever until you started spending Barry Diller’s money.  What does he get for making you rich?  You… trying to make him poor.

The only show you could produce that could possibly work is you and your new best friend Ben Silverman going out every night and partying your brains out then putting your escapades up on the internet for everyone to see.  You could actually erect the elusive paywall on that one.  Just imagine it… you, Ben and hot chicks in bars… X-rated.

THAT is programming only you guys can do in just the right pathetic way.  And THAT is your only competitive advantage.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Meredith Whitney Is Wrong

Alley Insider, allthingsd, Ari Emanuel, Benjamin Swinburne, BMO Capital, Bulgarian Proverb, CNBC, Credit Suisse, David Blaine, Deadline Hollywood, Dom Perignon, Earnings Report, Erin Burnett, Femme Aux Bras Croises, Glenn Vogelman, Goldman Sachs, Greycroft Partners, Henry Blodget, Ian Sigalow, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Logsdon, Jessica Reif Cohen, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Lehman Brothers, Manka Bros., Maria Bartiromo, Meredith Whitney, Meredith Whitney Advisory Group, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Oppenheimer & Co., Picasso, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Silicon Alley Insider, Spencer Wang, Terry Semel, Uri Geller, Vijay Jayant, World's Largest Media Company, Yahoo!

Alley Insider, allthingsd, Ari Emanuel, Benjamin Swinburne, BMO Capital, Bulgarian Proverb, CNBC, Credit Suisse, David Blaine, Deadline Hollywood, Dom Perignon, Earnings Report, Erin Burnett, Femme Aux Bras Croises, Glenn Vogelman, Goldman Sachs, Greycroft Partners, Henry Blodget, Ian Sigalow, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Logsdon, Jessica Reif Cohen, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Lehman Brothers, Manka Bros., Maria Bartiromo, Meredith Whitney, Meredith Whitney Advisory Group, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Oppenheimer & Co., Picasso, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Silicon Alley Insider, Spencer Wang, Terry Semel, Uri Geller, Vijay Jayant, World's Largest Media Company, Yahoo!Meredith Whitney has been right in the past.

Meredith Whitney has been wrong in the past.

Meredith Whitney will be right about some things in the future.

And Meredith Whitney will be very wrong about some things the future.

The point?

Meredith Whitney doesn’t know shit about the future.  Meredith Whitney doesn’t know shit about what the world will be like in the future.  David Blaine doesn’t know what the world will be like in the future.  Or Uri Geller or Sarah Michelle Gellar.  NOBODY knows about the future!

When Meredith Whitney goes on CNBC with the Money Honey (Maria Bartiromo) and throws bombs while yelling fire at a stock market and overall economy that is struggling, what good does it do?

I’m not saying she should pull her punches if she seriously thinks a double-dip recession is inevitable.  I’m just saying… she has no idea if a double-dip recession is inevitable.  Nobody does.  Much like the pundits who say the market is going to 15,000.

I understand Meredith Whitney has to be salacious to back up that rebel, bad girl photo on the front of the website (and above) for her company.  “What will that renegade MW say this time?  Get ready to sell sell sell!”

Alley Insider, allthingsd, Ari Emanuel, Benjamin Swinburne, BMO Capital, Bulgarian Proverb, CNBC, Credit Suisse, David Blaine, Deadline Hollywood, Dom Perignon, Earnings Report, Erin Burnett, Femme Aux Bras Croises, Glenn Vogelman, Goldman Sachs, Greycroft Partners, Henry Blodget, Ian Sigalow, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Logsdon, Jessica Reif Cohen, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Lehman Brothers, Manka Bros., Maria Bartiromo, Meredith Whitney, Meredith Whitney Advisory Group, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Oppenheimer & Co., Picasso, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Silicon Alley Insider, Spencer Wang, Terry Semel, Uri Geller, Vijay Jayant, World's Largest Media Company, Yahoo!But now, Meredith, you are, once again, in the unenviable position of rooting against the American economy – desperately hoping to be right to uphold your “reputation” and secretly wishing the worst so that you can say on CNBC in the spring “Well, I called it last November, Maria.”

Even though you know… you don’t really know.

I don’t care about your precious math and underlying fundamentals, Meredith, and all the bullshit numbers you’ll throw out to back up whatever you’re trying to say – just admit that nobody knows nothing.

Not even a woman with a zebra on her wall.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

The TV.com Awards?

30 Rock, Adam Townsend, Angeline Straka, Annie Hall, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Best of 2009 TV.com Awards, Big Bang Theory, CBS Interactive, Charlie Sheen, David F. Poltrack, Gil Schwartz, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Joseph Ianniello, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Leslie Moonves, Louis J. Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin D. Franks, Neil Ashe, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Quincy Smith, Richard M. Jones, Sharon Waxman, Shelby Bonnie, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tiny Fey, TV.com, TV.com Awards, Two and a Half Men, Warner Bros., Woody Allen, World's Largest Media CompanyI received an email this morning from a friend who said:  “Jill, OMG, you have to click on this link and vote for my show!”

“Vote for what?”, I said.

The Best Of 2009 TV.com Awards!  My show was nominated!”

Are you fucking kidding me?  The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards?  What?  What I mean say is… huh?  The fuck?

I was wondering why everyone here at Manka Bros. is running around so excited.  I thought it was because it is Friday – but no, IT’S BECAUSE THE BEST OF 2009 TV.COM NOMINATIONS ARE OUT(And this is not to be confused with the 2009 TV.com Awards which were announced a month or so ago – I think.)

I am soooo nervous.  Will “30 Rock” finally break out and beat “The Big Bang Theory” for their first ever Best of 2009 TV.com Award?  Will “The Big Bang Theory” finally emerge from its “Two and a Half Men” shadow and beat “30 Rock” to win their first ever Best of 2009 TV.com Award?

Actually, everyone who wins will win their very first Best Of 2009 TV.com Award.  Because this is the first year of the Best of 2009 TV.com Awards!

30 Rock, Adam Townsend, Angeline Straka, Annie Hall, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Best of 2009 TV.com Awards, Big Bang Theory, CBS Interactive, Charlie Sheen, David F. Poltrack, Gil Schwartz, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Joseph Ianniello, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Leslie Moonves, Louis J. Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin D. Franks, Neil Ashe, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Quincy Smith, Richard M. Jones, Sharon Waxman, Shelby Bonnie, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tiny Fey, TV.com, TV.com Awards, Two and a Half Men, Warner Bros., Woody Allen, World's Largest Media CompanySeriously, this town has got to stop giving out meaningless awards.  I know we thrive on it and need these awards desperately to boost our egos (even more) but enough is enough.  As a multi-year winner of the BLOGGY for Best General Media Blog, I know how it feels to have your name called.  But we really need to stop it.

Woody Allen said it best in “Annie Hall“:  “What’s with all these awards? They’re always giving out awards.  Best Fascist Dictator: Adolf Hitler.”

And I have certain questions for the people at TV.com (owned by CBS).  Have they only nominated shows from companies that have agreed to license their content to TV.com?  Are any shows nominated that can only be found on competitor site Hulu.com, for instance?  It makes you question the legitimacy of The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards.

However, the lawyers and executives at CBS don’t have to worry.  I’m not going to poke around too much, because I really don’t care.  I just wanted you all to know that, if I had to, I could blow the lid off this scandal and bring down The Best of 2009 TV.com Awards!

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Attention FoxPop and All Other Home Entertainment Groups

20th Century Fox, Ajay Shah, Amy Adams, Anthea Disney, Ari Emanuel, Ben Stiller, Beryl Cook, Bob Iger, Chase Carey, Cimarron Group, David DeVoe, Fox Pop, FoxPop, FoxPopized, Gary Ginsberg, jack Horner, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Julie Henderson, Khan Manka, Lawrence A. Jacobs, Manka Bros., Michael Regan, News Corporation, Night At the Museum, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Owen Wilson, Peter Chernin, Randy Shiozaki, Reed Nolte, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Sharon Waxman, Spot411, Teri Everett, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tom Mockridge, Tony SantabarbaraSTOP DOING SHIT!  Just stop it.  People have already lost their ability to focus on any one particular thing and you want to “FoxPopize” your movies?

Let me explain.  20th Century Fox (that name is truly fitting in this case) is debuting a new service called FoxPop on the upcoming Blu-ray and DVD release of “Night At The Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian”.  While a viewer is watching this horrible film, FoxPop will send out “a constant barrage of facts, photos, games and trivia questions related to the movie” to the user’s Mac, PC or iPhone.

Who gives a fucking shit?!

20th Century Fox, Ajay Shah, Amy Adams, Anthea Disney, Ari Emanuel, Ben Stiller, Beryl Cook, Bob Iger, Chase Carey, Cimarron Group, David DeVoe, Fox Pop, FoxPop, FoxPopized, Gary Ginsberg, jack Horner, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Julie Henderson, Khan Manka, Lawrence A. Jacobs, Manka Bros., Michael Regan, News Corporation, Night At the Museum, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Owen Wilson, Peter Chernin, Randy Shiozaki, Reed Nolte, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Sharon Waxman, Spot411, Teri Everett, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Tom Mockridge, Tony SantabarbaraDo the execs at Fox Home Entertainment really think the consumer’s viewing experience will be enhanced and they will, in turn, embrace and save the dying DVD business by buzzing someone’s iPhone when T.rex appears on screen and asking “how many bones does this dino have?”  Most people barely have time to watch one movie a month and you’re trying to waste more of their time!

It’s obvious Fox has quite a bit of extra money lying around to be able to attempt this lame exercise.  But I beg you… please stop with all the bullshit and put your money where it really needs to go:  Digital downloading technology, consumer education about digital downloading and digital downloading implementation.

That’s the future – not a zapping an iPhone to tell us how many hair follicles Ben Stiller has on his head.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

Electus – R.I.P.

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Donna Langley, Electus, Fortune's 40 under 40, IAC, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Rick Finkelstein, Ryan Seacrest, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, William FaulknerI realize that Electus – the earth-shattering, ground-breaking, cutting-edge new business from Ben Silverman and Barry Diller’s IAC/ InterActiveCorp hasn’t launched, but I have recently climbed aboard Khan Manka, Jr.’s Time Machine and gone into the not-too-distant future to retrieve the press release announcing (sadly) the company’s closure.  Sorry, Ben.

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From the Associated Press (July 2011):

Electus, the $100 million start-up from media wunderkind Ben Silverman has decided to close its doors effective immediately after only 18 months in business.  875 staffers (mostly low-level hot chicks in their 20s who ran errands and stuff) were expected to lose their jobs.  The highly-touted venture only managed to produce one original internet series – a show about bed-hopping young flight attendants based at O’Hare International Airport called “The Hub”.

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Donna Langley, Electus, Fortune's 40 under 40, IAC, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., media analyst, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, On Medea, OnMedea, OnMedea's Top 40 Failures Under 40, Paul Telegdy, Rick Finkelstein, Ryan Seacrest, Sharon Waxman, Tara Swisher, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, twitter, William FaulknerElectus, announced by Mr. Silverman with much fanfare in July 2009 (after a completely disastrous run as Co-Chairman of NBC Entertainment), was supposed to change the entertainment landscape with the unoriginal idea of marrying advertising, content and distribution in a new media world.

Mr. Silverman was unavailable for comment but released a statement through his representatives:  “I am proud of my accomplishments at Electus.  Even though $100 million doesn’t go as far as it used to, I still changed the world!  No one has even come close to doing what I did because nobody had the balls.  What a ride!  Maybe people just aren’t ready for forward-thinking.”

Mr. Diller was available for comment and simply said about Silverman:  “Fuck that guy.”

But don’t worry about Ben.  He has landed on his feet and will continue his Quixotic quest to monetize online content from his penthouse suite at The Palms Hotel in VegasGoldman Sachs
has committed $500 million to fund his new, as yet, unnamed venture.
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Oh, yeah, one other thing I learned from the future:  The Jay Leno Show was canceled in 2010 and called one of the greatest failures in the history of television.  Sorry, Ben.

Accel Partners, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Chris Hughes, David Kirkpatrick, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Gerald Levin, Greylock Partners, HBO, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Zucker, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, Jon Miller, Khan Manka, Li Ka-shing, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, MySpace, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Peter Thiel, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg, Sumner Redstone, Toy Story 3Jill Kennedy – OnMedea