Ricky Van Veen – Page 4

February 18, 2011April 11, 2011

Not ANOTHER Fairy Tale Ending

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Amanda Seyfried, Andrew Chang, Angela Bromstad, Anil Ambani, Ann Daly, Anne Globe, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Beastly, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Brothers Grimm, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Clark Hallren, Comic-Con, Craig Ring, Craig Smith, Dan Satterthwaite, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Dreamworks Animation, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Gemma Arterton, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Guillermo Del Toro, Hans Woolley, Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters, Harry Brittenham, Harry Sloan, Heather O'Conner, Hey Diddle Diddle, Holly Bario, Jack the Giant Killer, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Small, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jeremy Renner, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John Batter, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Judson Green, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lew Coleman, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Sourian, Mark Stein, Melody Hobson, Michael Eisner, Michael J. Montgomery, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nathan Myhrvold, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Allen, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Pinnochio, Red Riding Hood, Reliance ADA Group, Rich Sullivan, Richard F. Zannino, Richard Sherman, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Roger Enrico, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Snow White and the Seven, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Strauss Zelnick, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas Freston, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman, Walt Disney

Once upon a time, Hollywood was creatively bankrupt… again. The year was 2011 and poor little Hollywood didn’t know what kind of movies to make.

The heads of the major studios (including Manka Bros. – the owner of OnMedea) knew that a film adaptation of the fairy tale “Alice In Wonderland” made over $1 billion at the box office in 2010 and said “That’s a lot of money.”

So after much thought (or not), Hollywood decided to make EVERY FREAKING FAIRY TALE EVER WRITTEN INTO A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE!

Come on, really?

Every day, I read about another studio doing another fairy tale adaption. And all of them are a DARK, GRITTY version that the “19th century authors originally had in mind”.

Not a fluffy Hollywood squeaky clean version that doesn’t scare our whimpy modern day kids – but a frightening and bloody tale like children used to experience when kids were tough and enjoyed waking up screaming from a horrifying nightmare because of the bedtime story they were read.

To be fair, I think it was a great idea to reimagine Red Riding Hood with a darker tone – which is certainly fitting of the story. And while the trailer looks like a cross between a perfume ad and Twilight, I still believe it’s a solid original concept and should result in strong box office. (I’ll certainly be there opening weekend.)

But then came a fairy tale adaptation tsunami (which includes 3 SNOW WHITES!) that has now completely flooded the town.

Here’s a sampling of what’s coming up:

Jack the Giant Killer (Warner Bros.) – a gritty modern day reimagining of the classic tale.

The Brothers Grimm: Snow White (Relativity) – gritty reimagining starring Julia Roberts as the Wicked Queen.

Snow White and The Huntsman (Universal) – gritty reimagining starring Charlize Theron as the Wicked Queen.

Snow White and The Seven (Disney) – sweet, no gritty, set in 19th century China.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (Paramount) – Starring Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton (and, no doubt, various star cameos), H&G are now accomplished bounty hunters out to get the witches who nearly killed them years before.

Beastly (CBS Films) – Beauty & The Beast set in high school. I don’t expect much from this one as I’ve already predicted the death of CBS Films in a previous blog.

Pinnochio 3D – a stop motion reimagining of the classic fairy tale. Expect a very dark and disturbing retake on this one as it comes from the genius mind of Guillermo Del Toro. I can already imagine losing sleep after I witness the stop motion, painful transformation of the children into donkeys sequence.

Hey Diddle Diddle (Manka Bros.) – a grim reimagining of the classic bedtime ditty set during the 1930s in a Soviet Union gulag. Why does the cow jump over the moon? Freedom.

Grimm (NBC) – Gritty TV cop drama set in a world where the characters of Grimm’s Fairy Tales actually exist.

———————————————————-

And that’s just in the next couple of years. Just think if these projects make money what we’ll see next:

Pat the Bunny – set in a post-apocalyptic cannibalistic world.

Rumpelstiltskin – featuring the beloved garden Gnomes from Gnomeo & Juliet in their first R-rated turn.

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie – rewritten with darker twists and turns so that it ends in murder.

Etc. etc. etc.

And the sad reality is, I won’t be able to take my five year old daughter to one of them because, if I did, she would wake up screaming in the middle of the night after witnessing Snow White disembowel one of the dwarfs (or something).

But I guess these movies aren’t made for her. They’re Fairy Tales – they’re not made for children for Christ’s sake. They’re made for the guys who go to Comic-Con. And THEY lived happily ever after.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

December 15, 2010April 3, 2011

The Hollywood Foreign Press Has Done It Again!

Ahmed Lateef, Aida Takla-O'Reilly, Alena Prime, Alessandra Venezia, Alexander Nevsky, Ali Sar, Ana Maria Bahiana, Andre Guimond, Aniko Navai, Anita Baum, Anke Hofmann, Ari Emanuel, Armando Gallo, Aud Berggren Morisse, Avik Gilboa, Ben Silverman, Cameron Diaz, Cher, Dagmar Dunlevy, Dierk Sindermann, Edmund Brettschneider, Elisa Leonelli, Elisabeth Sereda, Elmar Biebl, Emanuel Levy, Erkki "Erik" Kanto, Ersi Danou, Frances Schoenberger, Frank Rousseau, Gabriel Lerman, Gabrielle Donnelly, George Doss, Gilda Baum-Lappe, Golden Globes, H.J. Park, Hans J. Spurkel, Harvey Weinstein, Helen Hoehne, Helena Mar-Elia, Helmut Voss, Herve Tropea, Hollywood Foreign Press members, Howard Lucraft, Isabelle Caron, Jack Tewksbury, Janet R. Nepales, Jean E. Cummings, Jean-Paul Chaillet, Jenny Cooney Carrillo, Jerry Watson, Jill Kennedy, John Hiscock, Jorge Camara, Judy Solomon, Juliette Michaud, Karen Martin, Khan Manka, Kleo Lee, Lawrie Masterson, Lilly Lui, Lisa Lu, Lorenzo Soria, Luca Celada, Lynn M. Tso, Magnus Sundholm, Mahfouz Doss, Manka Bros., Margaret Gardiner, Maria Snoeys-Lagler, Mario Amaya, Marlene von Arx, Maureen Dragone, Max B. Miller, Meher Tatna, Mike Goodridge, Mira Panajotovic, Mohammed Rouda, Munawar Hosain, Nellee A. Holmes, Noel de Souza, Noemia Young, OnMedea, Paolua Abou-Jaoude, Patrica Danaher, Patrick Roth, Paz Mata, Philip Berk, Ramzi Malouki, Ray Arco, Ricky Gervais, Ricky van Veen, Rocio Ayuso, Ruben V. Nepales, Rui Henriques Coimbra, Scarlett Johansson, Scott Orlin, Serge Rakhlin, Silvia Bizio, The Tourist, Theo Kingma, Vera Anderson, Yenny Nun-Katz, Yoko Narita, Yola Czaderska-Hayek, Yoram Kahana, Yukiko Nakajima

OK, just admit it, guys, you love movie stars and only nominate the people you would like to ‘go to disco’ with.

I mean, I sort of know where you’re coming from – “The Tourist” sucked but, of course, I would rather sit at “The Tourist” table than the “Winter’s Bone” table (if there is one of those it will probably be in an Annex room – in a different hotel).

“Burlesque” was unwatchable, sure, but you had to somehow recognize Cher – her music is the soundtrack of your lives.

The problem is, it’s just way too obvious that you don’t want any ugly people to be invited to The Golden Globes. You just have a mental block. If a hot chick or guy can sort of speak (and even that may not be a prerequisite), they have a chance to get nominated for a Golden Globe.

November 15, 2010August 10, 2011

TBS – Go Get Your Shinebox

What is it going to take for TBS (or any other Basic Cable channel) to get a little respect?

I watched the premiere week of Conan and thought it was fine and exactly what I expected (which is a slight disappointment, right?). (Also, why was it on at 10pm on DirecTV when every advertisement in the world says 11pm?… but I digress.)

The one thing that did stand out was the constant bashing of TBS and Basic Cable in general (I know it is a joke, I get it – I also got it in 1985 when the Basic Cable jokes started). But times have changed.

I was a proponent of Conan leaving NBC and for Jeff Zucker to be fired for many MANY reasons (including the handling of the Jay/Conan affair and for having anything to do with Ben Silverman. Please, someone wash everything Ben touched, it’s filthy!).

But, I must say, I’m disappointed with the way Conan has handled the transition to TBS. It was a very difficult decision, I’m sure, but why bash your new home?

Why is Basic Cable still struggling for any sort of respect?

It’s all very reminiscent of the scene from “Goodfellas” with Billy Batts (Frank Vincent) and Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) in the bar. Imagine Billy Batts is the “Broadcast Networks” and Tommy DeVito is “Basic Cable”:

Basic Cable: No more shines, Broadcast Networks.

Broadcast Networks: What?

Basic Cable: I said, no more shines. Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time. I don’t shine shoes anymore.

Broadcast Networks: Relax, will ya? Ya flip out, what’s got into you? I’m breaking your balls a little bit, that’s all. I’m only kidding with ya…

Basic Cable: Sometimes you don’t sound like you’re kidding, you know, there’s a lotta people around…

Broadcast Networks: I’m only kidding with you. I’m breaking your balls, and you’re getting fucking fresh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.

Basic Cable: I’m sorry, too. It’s okay. No problem.

Broadcast Networks: Now go home and get your fuckin’ shinebox!

Basic Cable: Mother fuckin’ mutt! You fucking piece of shit!

If you remember the movie, Tommy then kicked and stabbed Billy about a thousand times, threw him in the trunk of his car and buried him in some disgusting pit. I’m not saying Basic Cable will completely bury the Broadcast Networks – but it seems to be headed that general direction – so Broadcast Networks had better cut it out with the “shinebox attitude”.

And seriously, to watch Conan, you would think the year is 1985 and the only programming on TBS was really bad VHS copies of really bad 1970s movies and a few Body By Jake infommercials.

This is 2010 and Basic Cable Channels are a key driver and profit center helping to keep the Hollywood machine afloat.

So how about a little respect, Conan? I know you’re only getting $10 million from that suckass TBS that gives you “no budget” (other than a very large one) but come on!

And are you taping this show from some local station in Palmdale or in a very nice soundstage on a very nice Burbank studio lot? And do you have one blimp to promote your show or zero blimps?

And the last I checked, Mad Men on AMC (Basic Cable) won the Emmy for Best Drama; TBS just paid upwards of $2 million/episode for Big Bang Theory (among others); and the ACE Awards (which was a popular punchline for comedians about FIFTEEN YEARS AGO) haven’t been on the air for FIFTEEN YEARS!

I would also argue that with its scripted reruns and movies, TBS and the other top Basic Cable Channels have better daytime programming than any of the Broadcast Station Groups (unless you like Judge shows) and the primetime lineups are equally as creative and catching up in the ratings.

In fact, Broadcast Networks are deep into the 5 Stages of Grief from “On Death and Dying” – and they have been in denial about Basic Cable for years. Retrans is one final pathetic attempt to stay competitive.

So, Conan, I’m sorry you are stuck on lowly TBS when all your life you dreamed of being on NBC (now worth negative $690 million on NBC Universal’s balance sheet) – but the truth is, in today’s media environment, it’s not which channel you are on but the programming you produce.

Remember, even a show shot in a shack in Palmdale can be relevant (and widely seen) today.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Why doesn’t anyone ever bash MTV for being “Basic Cable”? Just wondering.

October 1, 2010April 21, 2011

Say It Ain’t So, Tony DiSanto

Seriously? Is this the guy you want to work for? Ugh.

Oh, well… It’s just a shame.

Tony, you have a reputation for being one of the good guys in Hollywood and you’re going to work for Ben Silverman?

Come on, man!

I’m on-board with you wanting to leave MTV and get back to your real passion – being a content producer.

I’m on-board with the company name – DiGa. Di (Santo) and Ga (for partner Liz Gately). DiGa. I’m sure there is also some foreign word that it translates to that gives it another dimension.

What I’m not on-board with is you partnering with Electus.

Every studio in town would most likely want to make a deal with you guys and now you’re stuck going to Holiday parties with Ben Silverman and Ricky Van Veen?

You’re better than that, Tony!

Now, most people who read this blog regularly know that I haven’t been too kind to Mr. Silverman over the past year or so (several examples are listed below)…

Example A; Example B; Example C; Example D; Example E; Example F; Example G; Example H; Example I; Example J; Example K; Example L; Example M; Example N

… but, Tony, you’re being way too nice here. You’re actually giving Ben a hint of credibility. Credibility that he doesn’t deserve.

However, maybe it’s not over.

Perhaps something can be done to stop it… something like Howard Beale in “Network” screaming to “Stop the CCA Deal now!” (fyi, the fictional Saudi Arabian deal with CCA – the parent company of fictional TV network UBS).

If enough people actually care, we could mobilize and march on Electus Headquarters (which I believe is the Wynn Resort Las Vegas) screaming over and over: STOP THE DIGA / ELECTUS DEAL NOW! STOP THE DIGA / ELECTUS DEAL NOW!

Ah, nevermind. Good luck, Tony.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 23, 2010April 12, 2011

More BS (I Mean Wisdom) From Ben Silverman

Ben Silverman needs to eat. Wild eyed and gulag skinny, Ben took the stage at Sharon Waxman’s “The Grill” (can’t wait to blog about that some day) and continued to tell people he is changing the world.

“I’m not 21 and still in my dorm room, but I think this company has an opportunity to be an enormous company in terms of its profitability. I’ll measure success in terms of impacting the audience, empowering storytelling and making dough.”

That must be so encouraging to Barry Diller. I’m sure he’s licking his chops anticipating those Electus profits. Seriously, where do I sign up? How can I invest? Ben is so focused on making money it doesn’t look like he’s slept a wink or ate a meal in months. I mean, look at him – all disheveled and greasy – that’s the face of success.

The Hollywood lifestyle has really done wonders for him. I need to find out what multivitamin he takes.

From what I gather, here’s what we can look forward to from Ben Silverman and Electus:

“Pedro & Maria” (MTV) brought to you by Proctor & Gamble. Because nothing says Hispanic like Proctor & Gamble. The show is basically a Romeo & Juliet remake (but waaaay cooler than Shakespeare with much better music). I’ll be looking out for a scene in a laundromat where Pedro or Maria are washing clothes with P&G’s All-New Gain detergent with Stain Buster 4X. Or worse, one will text the other “Can U p/u some PROCTOR & GAMBLE GAIN DETERGENT 4 me?”

“Master of the Mix” (MTV) brought to you by Smirnoff Vodka. A reality show DJ competition. Because only the best DJs drink Smirnoff. And, remember, it takes a lot of Smirnoff to become a great DJ.

Shows unlike any we’ve ever seen. Great stuff, Ben.

And these series perfectly embody the Electus manifesto: “Allowing Content Creators and Branding Partners To Reach Audiences Like Never Before”. Because how else is MTV going to reach an audience? Through its massive global reach and international marketing organization? Unlikely.

And there is obviously a lot more to come from Electus. Ben continued: “We have relationships on a profound level with the A-list storytelling matrix in Hollywood and NYC. Our goal is to win Golden Globes.”

Lofty goals indeed, Ben. But, why the fuck not?! Greatness like this only comes around once every million years or so.

So shoot for the moon, Ben, and even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

August 1, 2010April 12, 2011

Electus – Starring Ben Silverman

Apparently there is a new movie coming out called “Electus” and it looks like it stars Ben Silverman.

This afternoon, I thought I would do a little checking up on Ben’s $100 million dollar company and discovered that, unlike the way the website looked a month ago, there is actually some content now.

Content starring Ben Silverman.

The content is a $100 million dollar sizzle reel with flying headlines glorifying the accomplishments of… Ben Silverman.

I stared at the video, with its horrible techno-pop / Eurotrash soundtrack (though fitting), in amazement. Is this what revolution looks like?

I then went to the other page (yes, there is one other page on the site, you can’t expect too much in one year) and discovered a chart.

A chart that even a freakin’ moron can understand.

How can something that looks so simple (so elegant) and so “old media” change the world in such a profound way?

I’m still trying to process how great it all is.

I’m seriously at a loss for words.

There is only one person on the planet that knows what the future of media looks like. His name is Ben Silverman but he can’t talk right now – he has an early morning call on the set of another sizzle reel he is starring in titled “Managing Expectations”.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

July 13, 2010April 4, 2011

The Woman Of Sun Valley

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Bradley, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Brian Grazer, Brian Roberts, Candice Bergen, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chase Carey, Chris Silbermann, Cory Booker, Diane Von Furstenberg, Don Graham, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Eisner, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, George Bodenheimer, Gina Bianchini, Gordon Crawford, Haim Saban, Hank Vigil, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Berg, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jim Berkus, Jim Gianopulos, Jim Robinson, John Donahue, Jon Miller, Jonathan Dolgen, Ken Auletta, Ken Chenault, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Larry Page, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Michael Ovitz, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Owen Van Natta, Patt Morrison, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Rachael Ray, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robbie Bach, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tim Armstrong, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tom Glocer, Tom Rothman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company

Being a member of the fringe press, I have no idea how many people attended the Herb Allen Sun Valley Retreat last week and I certainly don’t know a complete gender breakdown – but from everything I’ve seen in the press (including from the blogs written by my mogul boss, Khan Manka, Jr., from inside the event), there were very very very few women represented.

By my count, there were three (and two were from Xerox – Ursula Burns and Anne Mulcahy [retired]) and only one, Sheryl Sandberg got any sort of attention at all.

And, no, mogul wives don’t count.

[If Allen & Co. can please email me an invited guest list, I’ll be happy to post an update with other names.]

Yes, Facebook is the hot company of the moment with a giant spotlight on senior management, but (and we all know this is a Hollywood / New York / Silicon Valley problem and not a Herb Allen problem) this was a pretty pathetic effort no matter the situation.

This is not to slight the accomplishments of Sheryl Sandberg. I have a great admiration for her (even though I think she’s on a sinking ship).

“The Women In Technology” panel (moderated by Tom Brokaw) must have been fascinating. Perhaps it was set up as a way to inform the white male moguls that there are ‘Women in Technology’. Who knew?

Here’s hoping that next year I can report on “The WOMEN of Sun Valley”.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

June 30, 2010April 4, 2011

10 Slideshows You Must See RIGHT NOW!

OK, online media publishers – enough with the freakin’ slideshows! They’re nothing but a waste of time to those who click through all those pages of The World’s Top 10 Shellfish and the Best Tasting Fruits You’ve Never Tasted. What’s the real reason for these time suckages? Page views and ad impressions – the life force of online media (yes, I admit, my humble blog also depends on these metrics). And what’s the best way to rack up page views and ad impressions? Slideshows with one image and, on average, three ads per page. Multiply that by the Top 50 Female Insurance Industry Executives – and you get the idea.

But you didn’t come to this page for my rant against Slideshows – you came to see 10 SLIDESHOWS YOU MUST SEE RIGHT NOW! Let’s get to it! (Note: I have mercifully avoided the obvious and did not put this in Slideshow format.)

10 Unbelievable, Unlikely Animal Friendships

What Booze Looks Like Under A Microscope

June 25, 2010February 8, 2024

Jason Bateman Cuts iPhone Line – Gets Booed

Who cares? He’s a celebrity and celebrities win. Deal with it. No one would care if the Pope or Rupert Murdoch was moved to the front of the line.

I think the ‘booing’ was more because of the Orbit Gum Commercial Jason produced for DumbDumb and Electus than for getting special treatment by a store manager.

I also heard a rumor that at the Apple Store on 5th Avenue in New York, once it was discovered that Ben Silverman was standing in line like a common schmuck, people in front of him laid on the ground. Police then ordered Ben to step over and on their bodies to get to the front. Ben did gladly and was able to get the last phone in stock (which was promptly comped to him by the store because of who he was).

And in Queens, New York, Ricky Van Veen waited in line for over 24 hours and still didn’t get a phone and wasn’t allowed to cut. He also still hasn’t been able to get tickets to Twilight Eclipse.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

June 21, 2010April 4, 2011

Electus – COMING SOON!

I see Ben got the message (though the horse and buggy logo doesn’t inspire “future of entertainment”).

“Coming Soon” is a step in the right direction, I suppose. Just be sure and have a “Thanks for the Memories” logo ready once the money is gone.

By the way, I enjoyed the Orbit Commercial. Jason Bateman and Will Arnett are perfect in those commercials. They really made gum chewing cool.

Most gum commercials don’t get a launch party. But most gum commercials aren’t made by Ben Silverman’s company. And with the death of independent film, celebrity parties to show gum commercials just may be the new normal. (The key words here are “gum” and “commercials”.)

Perhaps the next step is for Electus or Notional to come up with an Award that it can give the gum commercial so that Ben can call it “Award Winning” at his next corporate presentation.

And, maybe, down the line, those five minute “gumisodes” can be trimmed down to 30 seconds and shown on regular television – then you’ll really sell some gum. But the fellows at DumbDumb may not think that’s as cool.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea