The CW – Page 2

January 8, 2010April 14, 2011

Jeff Zucker – It’s Time To Suck It Up

OK, Jeff, it’s time for you to man-up, nut-up, suck-it-up, eat-it (all those things) and fix this late night issue before it becomes even more of a train wreck.

It’s very simple:

Fire Conan O’Brien and give him all the compensation he is owed as part of a separation deal. (Don’t be a pussy, Jeff, let Conan go to Fox or ABC (or wherever) and pull in an average 2.3/5 share. Who cares?);

Re-install Jay at 11:35 on The Tonight Show and be done with it. (Jay will quickly become the late night King again because my grandmother “really likes those headlines”);

Find some old Law & Order’s laying around that you can air until you develop a couple of decent shows.

Yes, you may have to deal with a couple of months of bad press (“NBC Screwed Conan”… “Jay Not The Right Man”… “Jeff Zucker Sucks At His Job”… etc.) but it will pass and things will be back to where they were last May (with NBC in fourth place – but not late night). It will all be like a horrible dream and we’ll all wake up with Bobby Ewing in the shower.

But these steps need to be taken immediately. In order to save you some time, I’ve drafted your opening comments at the press conference that you should have this afternoon:

“Good afternoon. Thank you for coming. [Insert Nikki Finke joke here – something about her always being prompt and in the front row.] I’d like to take a few moments to discuss our line-up of new dramas at 10pm which will premiere after The Vancouver Olympics. Just kidding – we don’t even have a fucking pilot!

No, I’m here to discuss The Jay Leno Show situation.

[cameras clicking – reporters jostling for position]

Last year, I made a horrible mistake. Ben Silverman actually made the mistake… but I digress.

For some asinine reason, we thought we could put Jay Leno on at 10pm and people would actually watch it. I thought our affiliates would be so happy to have a topical program hosted by one of America’s most beloved comedians as a lead in to their local news.

I was way fucking wrong on that assumption.

It could have been worse. I could have announced that we were merging with AOL or that I had re-hired Ben Silverman to run the network.

So… in order to make things right. I am officially reinstating Jay Leno to The Tonight Show and have paid off the remainder of Conan O’Brien’s contract so that he may pursue other opportunities at other networks. Conan was a great asset to NBC and a huge talent and we wish him nothing but the best – but we’ve decided to go back to Jay at 11:35.

Anyone who has an drama series ideas or any pilots in the can, please have them delivered to Angela Bromstad’s house immediately.

I will now take your questions.”

Do it, Jeff. It’s not too late to fix things.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

January 7, 2010April 19, 2011

The Jay Leno Show – R.I.P.

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno has Failed, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Julianna Margulies, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Stop all the clocks..., Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, W.H. Auden, Warner Bros., William Morris Endeavor

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message The Jay Leno Show is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

Jay at 10pm was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that show would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W.H. Auden

——————————————————————–
Yes, Ben Silverman and Jeff Zucker really changed the future of television. Actually, no… they didn’t. They didn’t at all.

After all the bravado and presentations.. all the parties and press conferences with claims of blowing up business models and television never being the same… what do we have left? Jay Leno on The Tonight Show at 11:30 and scripted dramas at 10pm.

It’s now up to Ben Silverman’s Electus to change the world. Come on, Ben, you can do it – put down the blonde and get to work.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 14, 2009April 25, 2011

It’s Time To Kill Melrose Place

Adam Kaufman, Allan Arkush, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Caprice Crane, Colin Egglesfield, Daniel Thomsen, Darren Star, Darren Swimmer, Davis Guggenheim, Dawn Ostroff, Episode 6 Shoreline, Ethan Erickson, Felicity, Fred Toye, Gossip Girl, Greg Beeman, Jason Olive, Jessica Lucas, Jill Kennedy, Joshua Levey, Katie Cassidy, Kelly Carlson, Khan Manka, Laura Leighton, Manka Bros., media blog, Melrose Place, Michael Rady, Nicholas Gonzalez, Norman Buckley, OnMedea, Patrick R. Norris, Roswell, Roxann Dawson, Shaun Sipos, Stephanie Jacobsen, The Beautiful Life: TBL, The CW, The Vampire Diaries, The WB, Thomas Calabro, Todd Slavkin, Victor Webster

Attention to Dawn Ostroff and all those concerned at The CW – it’s time.

It was a valiant attempt to bring back the 1990s glory days of small network success, but it’s time – time to kill Melrose Place. The CW IS The WB and should be all about The Vampire Diaries and Gossip Girl. That’s your sweet spot. Melrose Place is too old. Embrace the mental teenagers that you are! Stop trying to move out of mommy and daddy’s house. Let CBS get old and die. The CW is forever young. Their characters don’t pay bills and rent apartments. But I digress…

Last night’s episode, Episode 6 “Shoreline” received a 1.0/2 rating. That’s not A18-49 – THAT’S TOTAL HHs. It’s over. Air repeats of Roswell or Felicity. Show Color Bars. Show anything. But stop showing Melrose Place. It’s not easy to get that small of an audience. A show really has to work hard at NOT connecting with viewers to get that low of a rating.

You pulled the trigger at the right time on The Beautiful Life:TBL, it’s time for the characters of Melrose Place to strap on the mini-dresses, stick their feet in cement and jump into the pool.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 1, 2009April 28, 2011

The Jay Leno Show Has Failed

Based on last night’s overnight ratings (September 30, 2009: 4.1/7), the above headline is what nearly every television production executive is screaming down the halls today (with the exception of those at NBC Universal. They’re probably screaming something like… Will Comcast contribute to my 401K? What happens to our stock options?, etc.).

Now, a 4.1/7 is a grand slam on The CW. If every show on The CW got a 4.1/7, Dawn Ostroff (President) would be carried around on one of those Cleopatra-type chairs. However, this is NBC and this is Jay Leno. We’ve heard from stories past (lies in my opinion), that Jay only needs to “get a 1.5 rating (A18-49) to make $300 million a year for NBC”. So a 4.1/7 is comfortably in that range – but still pathetic based on pre-season expectations.

However, there is a way that NBC can save face in the middle of this debacle. They don’t even need to cancel The Jay Leno Show (why would you when you’re making that kind of bank? I’m sure Comcast will do a complete audit in due-diligence – so one day we’ll know for sure).

Here’s what you do, NBC: BUY BILLBOARDS strategically-positioned around every major television production facility (as demonstrated below). Every week, update the profit number of The Jay Leno Show and then put a tag at the bottom that reads something like: “Hey TV Execs, how are your fall shows doing? Throwing Off Any Cash?”

This would bring home the fact that The Jay Leno Show HAS NOT FAILED. It might just stop this town from obsessing over ratings and fucking market share. Ask The Food Network about their profits? I think they’ll tell you they’re doing just fine. And when was the last time they got even a 1.0/3 share? It means nothing.

But, NBC, you have lost the PR war and it’s time to fight back. Forget trying to put TV stars from other networks on with Jay. Jay is about movie stars and pop icons. Fuck Julianna Margulies, Jay. You don’t need her or her TV friends and complaining in the media about it makes you look like a pussy (even more so).

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – I have nothing against Julianna Margulies. Big fan. She’s just F-ed by example.

September 25, 2009April 29, 2011

The Beautiful Life: TBL – CANCELLED!

Adam Giaudrone, Ari Emanuel, Ashley Madekwe, Ashton Kutcher, Benjamin Hollingsworth, Corbin Bleu, Dawn Ostroff, Dawn Tarnofsky, Deadline Hollywood, Elle Macpherson, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mike Kelley, Mischa Barton, Nico Tortorella, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Sara Paxton, Shane Newville, Sharon Waxman, Swingtown, Terry Semel, The CW, The Vampire Diaries, thewrap.com

After only two pathetically rated episodes, The Beautiful Life: TBL has the distinction of being the first show cancelled of the 2009/2010 television season.

Sorry Mischa. You heard it here first… last week.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 23, 2009April 29, 2011

John Ferriter and The Jay Leno Show

ABC, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Beverly Hills Hotel, CBS, CSI: NY, Deadline Hollywood, Dick Wolf, Eastwick, ER, Gossip Girl, Jay Leno, Jay Leno ratings, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, John Ferriter, Kate Gosselin, Khan Manka, Law & Order, Manka Bros., Nikki Finke, Octomom, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Roth, Producers Caucus Panel, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, thewrap.com, Warner Bros., William Morris Endeavor

So, earlier today, I said that Leno’s 4.5/8 share was a disaster for NBC and they should start to think about living in a post-Leno world.

But I was just made aware of a statement by John Ferriter (head of WME’s Non-Scripted Department) at the Producers Caucus Panel that all Jay Leno needed to get was a 1.5 share (A18-49) in order to make NBC $300 million.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Now by “make” I don’t know if he means revenue (which doesn’t make it a crazy statement) or profit (which makes it a crazy statement). Either way – it’s bullshit and I don’t believe it.

If this was true, why wouldn’t every network do it? Why wouldn’t Jeff Zucker be screaming it from the rooftops to Wall Street? Gossip Girl gets a 1.5 rating and The CW doesn’t make shit. I know… I know… it’s not apples-to-apples – but it’s still bullshit.

I started to wonder why John Ferriter would take such a bold stand and why does he really care? Then I found the above picture of Mr. Ferriter with my old friend Ben Silverman in Vegas and it all made sense.

Seems to me Mr. Ferriter is just defending his friends’ crazy business model. Ben has dated quite a few crazy business models in the past – but none so bold and insane as the one that makes $300 million for 1.5 rating. Now that’s one hot model!

Why would NBC let such a genius get away?

So, according to my math, a 4.5/8 share should “make” NBC around $900 million.

Jesus Christ! The Broadcast Network business is a great business!

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 21, 2009May 2, 2011

It’s Time To Kill The Emmys

61st Annual Emmy Awards, ABC, Angela Bromstad, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Ben Silverman, CBS, Chris O'Donnell, Dawn Ostroff, Deadline Hollywood, Don Mischer, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog, Family Guy, Fox, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Khan Manka, Les Moonves, LL Cool J, Manka Bros., NBC, NCIS: Los Angeles, Neil Patrick Harris, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Sandy Grushow, Seth McFarlane, Sharon Waxman, Terry Semel, The CW, The Simpsons, thewrap.com

Frankly, no one gives a shit anymore. Last night’s show was painful.

A tour of the set? Seriously? Matthew Weiner, creator of Mad Men, is unable to give an acceptance speech for winning Best Drama because there was a five minute TOUR OF THE SET at the beginning of the show? “Where we will all be spending the next three plus hours!”

The opening number from the Academy Awards winning for Best Musical Number? Best Musical Number?

That painfully long Family Guy bit with the baby killing the dog (full disclosure – I’m a Simpson’s girl and think Family Guy sucks so I probably wouldn’t have liked even if it were short and funny).

There there was bit-after-painful-bit about the demise of television. Television, the way it was in 1979 is dead – TELEVISION ISN’T DEAD! What else are we supposed to do to pass the time on this miserable planet? We like the internet, we like television, we like movies, we like going out to dinner, we like talking on the phone, we like working out, we like going to the park with our kids, we like going to Disneyland… just because we spend a few hours less watching TV doesn’t make it the end of the world!

I know there is a lot of insecurity in this town and a very strong need to give each other awards. But would the programming change if there wasn’t Emmy Awards? Are the actors from NCIS: Los Angeles relevant in any way? Was an appearance by the Gossip Girls a way to reach out to 15 year olds? As an experiment, Television Academy, why don’t you put next year’s awards on the Disney Channel and see how many young girls you get to watch… But that would never happen because the Emmys are much too prestigious for that.

I know the old white executives want it to be 1979 again when the television audience apparently actually cared if M*A*S*H would win or lose – but those days are gone.

It’s over. Kill it already. Every year it sucks and every year we watch. Over half that crowd (i.e., the late night comedy show writers), wanted to be watching the Giants/Cowboys game on NBC. Myself included.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 17, 2009April 29, 2011

The Beautiful Life: TBL – R.I.P.

With a 1.1/2 rating for its PREMIERE, this show is done.

Sorry Dawn. One out of three ain’t terrible. If it weren’t for The Vampire Diaries… well, you know the rest.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

August 5, 2009April 28, 2011

Dawn Ostroff Compares Picking TV Shows To “Sophie’s Choice”

[From The Hollywood Reporter: “It was really a ‘Sophie’s Choice,’ Ostroff said of trying to choose projects for next season with only 10 hours to fill.]

Ms. Ostroff made this horrific comparison yesterday in Pasadena at the Television Critics Association Press Tour.

Seriously, Dawn? There was no other phrase you could use.

“Sophie’s Choice” was a decision Holocaust survivor Sophie Zawistowski had to make on which of her children would live and which would die in a Nazi concentration camp.

Sure, it was a work of fiction by William Styron – but he has even said that it was based on a real story (fyi, Meryl Streep won the Academy Award for her portrayal in the movie).

The decision on which child a parent would choose to live and which to die is the same as which TV show on The CW makes the schedule and which doesn’t?

The Gossip Girl spin-off or The Vampire Diaries?

Supernatural or One Tree Hill?

I know it was said on the fly and was meant to convey that it was a difficult choice – but come on.

Imagine what the Right Wing Pundits would say if President Obama, during the recent Beer Summit, said “It’s really a ‘Sophie’s Choice’ in deciding which beer to drink.”

I started OnMedea with the intention of having a positive tone in regards to the world of media (with the exception of anything concerning Ben Silverman) – but that’s been really difficult based on what I’m discovering out there.

I certainly hope Ms. Ostroff made the right decision and the new “Melrose Place” lives up to her expectations.

For the record, Sophie chose the boy.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

(I understand the slight irony that I write these things under the blog title OnMedea – a fictional woman who slaughtered her kids after finding out her man had an affair.)