The Green Lantern
With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen
Ryan Reynolds is the man. But no longer today.
This Northman famous film star – once with Scarlett Johansson (followed drunkenly by leathery Sean Penn, yowza!) – is now expected to hold a straight face above with propping a spirit-sucking expensive superhero film.
The great collapse of Green Lantern will cause most to jump on Reynolds to be blamed… but the wrong-headed doing has its origin in a lamest of the television set-trained scriptwriters and mega stone cold producer honchos.
Yes, that is what I said.
A consequence is that the new Warner Brothers flick with the load of explaining (who the Green Lantern is, for instance) is out there for all to see at megaplexes until the next super hero comes to call and kicks Green Lantern to piracy bin.
What?
In one overcalculated effort to cover all surfaces into a whole film tonally – which doesn’t work and is all over the place. Confusion is not for summer cinema!
Greatly and with greatly bombast, he seizes points of Star Wars, Top Gun and from the Superman, in a kind of superhero stew (only less meat – we need meat!).
Four authors convert the film script (each working from separate story) which spreads nerd-speak like written for baby, followed from the cosmic heavenly drilling carriage credited (you know, not understandable).
Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is a ass-kicker pilot, who sets egos over brothers.
One day, after an expensive combat aircraft during a war game is inadvertently destroyed, this creates an improbable discovery for Hal: a dying magenta-red foreigner (Temeura Morrison) gives Hal a green lantern fulfilled with cosmic energies and his connected ring.
He puts on the ring and promising allegiance to the lantern, Hal transports to another world (not ours!), in which he experiences stuff that makes him now a member of the Green Lantern Corps: a volume of green intergalactic warriors, who use the energy of the power to fight against the forces of the evil and of fear.
Additionally, to receiving a fast course up to learning, and dress down receiving from Sinestro (Mark Strong), experiences the leader of the Green Lanterns, Hal is educated that an old enemy was freed – the Parallax – from his prison and by the galaxy and goes wild (naturally) to earth with all get out.
Carrying a unruffled new costume, Hal drives back to his main planet, around the Parallax’s minion to confront Dr. Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard).
He must also examine his own worth to ex-girlfriend, Carol Ferris (Blake Lively – who isn’t Ginnifer Goodwin – summer movies are suckage) and defeat that ne’er-do-well.
Warner Brothers would like that we enjoy all the big tent pole things with our wallets – Green Lantern for sure.
Sadly, but this is more like which one expects from a independent superhero film (of which is nothing, right?). Non-geeks will not enjoy the production because of non-exciting production. It’s passable, but not much more than an two-hour digression.
Green Lantern is generic – it has an imitative approach that arranges this motion picture film to fall into whichever hell circle Dante envisioned for.
No fear to say it here!
As a man, I only can dream the upcoming Captain Stoppo movie from MC Comics is less a waste of my and yours time.
Kimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium
Great review, Kimmo. Did you mean ‘soul-sucking’ in a good way?
Not in a good way.
The Green Lantern saves the world and you just sit there eating your haggis and complaining all that shit. What planet have you ever saved asshole?
Hopefully He’s saving people from seeing that god awful movie.
Green Lantern is a Homo.
So is Dave in San Diego’s father. Have fun buying him his lube Dave.
This reviewer is terrible. If you’re gonna try to reach English-only readers, find a better translator! This guy clearly had no grasp of the main character or the plot, which was not really hard to follow, but hard to follow for him it was, nevertheless. And then he complains that it’s low-brow and trite. He comes off like a guy who just wants to be provactive, and say every contradictory thing that comes to mind, and expect his readers to be as dumb as him, and like what they read. Yeccchhhhh! What a complete waste of a perfectly good minute of my life, now forever ruined.
I find it funny that you complain about wasting a minute here, but not the 2 hours watching that crappy movie. Oh look Hal knows the bald guy all the sudden, oh look the bald guys dad is a senator that looks younger than him. I can stand this guys broken English….but not a movie that looks to be put together from three different scripts.
I was told provacative to be a good thing. Especially when reviewing a movie that does not have too many important points.
Learn English before you try to write it. It will make you not sound like a fucking idiot in the future.
Hey. Google translation is considered a viable expert on movies. It doesn’t get better than this. If I want a comprehensible review I’ll go read the New York Times.
😉
It’s not the flop everyone was hoping. $24 million on Friday – $60+ million weekend.
Hello—I is Kimmo Mustonenen! I does not like new Green Lantern summer popcorn moviefilm! Is not NIIIICCCE!!! It make no comparison with glorious moviefilms made in mine homecountryland of Kazakhstan!
Your movie reviews are starting to make sense to me…I think I’m learning a new language…or something! Keep good work up!!
There is a fine line between a good movie and a great one – and this film flirted with that line but didn’t quite cross it. It couldn’t decide if it wanted to be story driven or a summer blockbuster. And while trying to be a blend of both, became neither and left me feeling like there should have been more. It was a good time that had all the potential to be a great time…
See my full review…http://theboxedoffice.blogspot.com/
Wow. That’s some bad English.
Oh, I don’t know. What do you think? 70% dropoff this weekend?
Kimmo is an excellent critic. His reviews are spot on. He is the only critic I read.