The Purge
With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen
I lost at betting.
Son of a bitch.
“The Purge” was in my thinking mind in the past a game on video.
I ran in the night, a gun as my hand-end, blood lust making me lust –yes, LUST, to kill Ethan Hawke.
I had only one night, and my violence, like Taco Bell, would give me “The Purge,” but with less mess.
No. I was thinking Unreal Tournament 2004 (never gets the olds!).
In my “sweet, sweet smoke life” (high, who haven’t read past Kimmo) I enter the arena and all I am to kill is Ethan Hawke.
Everyone or thing that runs in my perfect mind is Ethan Hawke.
“Head Shot!”
Ethan.
“Multi-Kill!”
A shit-ton of Ethans.
“Rampage!”
The entire Republic of Ethan Hawke… Dead.
But “The Purge” is a movie, but not even real. The greatest disappointment.
Review? If I must.
Plot? Sure. In ten years, America is back in the 1750s. Morality is cool because everyone has the job to just live.
Remember “Rollerball”? The good one? 1975?
“In the not too distant future, wars will no longer exist – but there will be… ROLLERBALL!”
Cue Bach.
In the not too distant future, crime will no longer exist – but there will be… a low budget movie trying to make my mind believe that those on the crack will not rob suburban people except on gang-banger Christmas – or “The Purge.”
Ethan Hawke is a rich guy. He is married to Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey). The Purge is a yearly festival where there is corn dogs and candy – plus the unlimited killing and illegal parking.
Ethan’s children let a man with no home (sad) into the house during the fun. Pants-around-the-knees-people and others who should be schooling want the homeless man to end up “Head Shot!”
I start to run with my RPG and look for Ethan Hawke!
Dammit!
Movie, not game.
Only Kossu can sooth my mind now. What in Hell’s name is happening to the thoughts that normally roost with ease on the stick that is my mind perch?
Game. Movie. Game. Movie.
Nothing and everything is so real that my reality wants nothing more than Cheetos. And a large coke. The smoke is talking.
Thank you, sweet smoke!
Okay. Two thumbs right on up there. Any thought from my brain stem that remembers me on the “Rollerball” (the good one) gets everything up in my book. Yes, everything – remember Ella?
No? And your mouth tells me you are a movie fan… Disappoint. See “Rollerball.”
Now, as my bet was for losing, I must watch “Moulin Rouge” again. Sober.
Ethan Hawke – please kill me with your RPG. Fair is fair.
Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium
P.S. Heidi Klum on “America’s Got Talent”? How about Heidi Klum on Kimmo Mustonenen? Please Odin! I would take that over Tuukka Rask (Finnish brother!) winning the Stanley Cup. I am ashamed of this –yet I stand with it.
Heidi, my Kossu, my smoke, and little Kimmo wait for you…
“Gang-banger Christmas.” Good one. I may actually see this.
This was an exception film, it took me by surprise and had a profound effect on my afterwards
Kimmo. Please. Let us drink this Kossu together and watch Game of Thrones. The Red Wedding will give you the Red Purge.
If there was a real Purge, I would park illegally, crack open ATM machines and face punch parking enforcement workers. And Ethan Hawke. I’d punch him twice.
Although I’m not usually a fan of Ethan Hawke, this movie does spark my interest a bit. The posters for The Purge seem cool. I might have to see this one!
This is taken from an original Star Trek series episode. Nothing new to see here folks.
This movie actually looks interesting to me when I saw the preview, as it just seems so bizarre. Obviously it’s not going to win any awards, but this might have to make the list of the handful of “bad” movies I see this year.
this review is a bit too off-topic from the movie… or is it just me?
It is just you.
I hate the premise of this film and have no intention of ever seeing it. Also, I don’t understand the appeal of the “home invasion” movie. It’s 90 minutes of watching innocent people tortured with little to no payoff. I thought The Strangers was one of the worst films I have ever seen.
This stinkeroozie had Manka Brothers written all over it. But nope, the distributor is Universal. Looks like with a $3 mm budget it will defeat the $65 mm Intern. Now maybe if the lead was Vince Vaughn, the mob would have come out on top