Gustaff Hinter:

KL: Translations?

GH: Yes.  We first took The Mahabharata and translated it from Sanskrit to German.

KL: Yes, it was shocking to see the great Indian gods talking in German.  Why the change?

GH: Both Jackson and I though that the guttural sound of the German language gives anything more emotional weight.  More weight than if you could actually understand the play.

Jackson Nitrate then entered the room, and the conversation.

Jackson Nitrate: But then the fucking producers demanded that the play be in English.  I said “no”… that I would walk off of the production if it were in English.  But then I had an epiphany.  The theater would be filled with smoke.  And then laser lights would shoot through the fog and the audience could read what each character is saying in English.

KL: You mean like Lazerium?

GH: No!  That’s so 1979…

JN: LaserFloyd was cool.  That was 1979.

GH: Well, of course, but this is 16th century India colliding with 2010.  That is not LaserFloyd.  Not even LaserZeppelin.  Anyway, I’ve now got to try to take everything that was translated from Sanskrit to German and now take it from German to English but then have the English version still be consistent with the Sanskrit.  It isn’t easy.

KL: Sounds like a labor of Hercules.  But back to The Mahabharata.  The epic poem itself is a collection of over 100,000 verses.  How long do you think this particular production will last?

JN: According to the producers, they don’t want it to be any longer than my award-winning production of The Bhagavad Gita which last five hours.  I then told the producers that that hack Peter Brook’s version lasted nine hours.  If Peter Brook was allowed that much time, then I should have a play that would run over the course of three days… some 36 hours.

KL: But 36 hours of brilliance.

JN: That’s what I said.  But you know the suits.  All they care about is that the play and the theater make money.  I say “fuck money!”  Theater is about art.  And if art has to be 36 hours long, then so be it!

KL: My sentiments exactly.  Who is playing the lead?

JN: Emerson Lightlander.

KL: Does he speak German?

GH: Uh, no.

JN: No, he doesn’t speak German NOW, but he will.  Right now he’s learning all of his lines phonetically.

GH: Our Germany technical advisor says that he sounds like a German retard.  And right now he does.

JN: Gustaff, do you have to bring that up in front of Mr. Lendhoffer?

GH: Uh, Emerson Lightlander will not sound retarded for very much longer, I can assure you of that.  Better, Jackson?

KL: No quarreling you two!  I must ask this final question – how hard is it for the two of you to be in each other’s presence, to bathe in the light of each other’s greatness, to be making history with every breath that you take?

GH: Uh…

JN: I’m the great one, Gustaff is just a writer.  Kidding, Gustaff, just kidding.

And with that gem of humor, Jackson Nitrate and Gustaff Hinter began to “bicker” comically for the next half hour or so.  My skin is redder from basking in the light of their combined greatness.

I am convinced when the world sees The Mahabharata it could quite possibly change the course of human history.  In a good way.

Make a date to be at The Manka Black Box Experience.  You will want to say that you were there the day the world changed for the better.

As I said, no hyperbole.  No hyperbole whatsoever!

Kyrle Lendhoffer – Behind The Proscenium