David Siegel – Behind the Proscenium

February 7, 2014May 23, 2014

The LEGO Movie [REVIEW]

The LEGO Movie

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

This is the time of my exploding brain lobes.

How many times, in the living life, do we see our childhood dancing on the screen?

I want to believe that life is better than life is, but often it is not.

Then I go to the cinema.

Crap shoots in to my eye holes.

Not this time.

The movie light rushed over my body like a warm Kossu flowing from the mouth of Freyja (her chariot is pulled by two cats! Yowza!).

As I sucked the life out of many bon-bons while theater sitting, I was certain of one fact:

The LEGO Movie is the greatest story ever told.

And I wasn’t even high.

Can I begin? I will try.

First, the plot.

Emmit (Chis Pratt) follows the rules better than any LEGO person or people person has ever followed. His favorite song (“Everything Is Awesome”) rocks just enough so that it may not rock.

That’s O.K.

He works. Watches a show about lost pants (better than anything J.J. Abrams has pooped out – I’m look at you, “Lost”).

Then comes the “Piece of Resistance” followed by Wyldstyle (Elizabeth Banks – hottest LEGO ever!) and war with Lord Business (Will Ferrell).

The animation is better than my sleep brain movies after having eaten my medicinal brownie!

Colorful and alive.

Then even more colorful.

Then come the almost hallucination cool-ness of almost everything to come.

My eyeballs actually said “what the hell?” I couldn’t answer them.

Everything was too awesome.

Then I thought that “whoa, this movie is saying “hey, 99 percent, wake up and take back the world” and also ‘be yourself and screw the powerful'”.

These things I, Kimmo, would do – but I’m a pussy.

LEGOS are not pussies.

This is how LEGOS are not pussies.

Suck it, Peyton Manning. http://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/02/super-bowl-lego/

Oh, and the movie has Batman (Will Arnett) and a white Morgan Freeman (Morgan Freeman).

Damn! What more is there to ask for?

Except for maybe a naked Jennifer Lawrence (not made of LEGOS, but in human flesh form).

That would have made a happy place in my pants.

So, two thumbs aching to the highest atmosphere.

I will even say, with full truth, that The LEGO Movie will be good to you EVEN IF YOU AREN’T DRUNK OR HIGH!

Just like Shark Night 3D!

See this movie many, many times.

Then again.

You will say “Kimmo, you are awesome for making me see The LEGO Movie many, many times, and then again.”

I will say “You are welcome, dude man!!!”

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. The Olympics are here! Please, Finland, destroy the hated butt-faced Swedes.That is the only game that I worry for with hardness.

But not my brother Olli.

Olli wants Finland to win every Olympic game of hockey by 7 goals. He isn’t wanting for another heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack (he oughta know by now). HA! Near death can be funny, too!

HEAR/SEE KIMMO’S REVIEWS RIGHT HERE:

March 2, 2012

Project X [REVIEW]

Project X

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Thanks to Odin. Much thanks.

Why?

Tuesday, with the fact that Tuesday must happen, happens.

Tuesday?

Reviewing assignments for Friday.

My mind is sweating mind thoughts: “Please Odin, if I am to review that damn “Lorax” movie, drop me first with a face stretching stroke. Explode my eyeballs. Make me never to see the whoring out of a great man by his money grubbing widow (because I already am still in the stink of “Cat In The Hat”. Mike Meyers, you make Canada sad with this.).

Then the God of Cargo came through – assignment “Project X.”

The “YES” I screamed was like that of Ron Jeremy in the day of hay.

“Project X.”

Teenagers in heat.

Crazy crap of the happening.

The party is bigger than big – or than the big it should have been (“Risky Business”, but funny).

First, I, Kimmo place a major hit in the bong. I say you, the viewer, must do the same.

Then another.

Then one more.

“Project X” is now the adolescent party gone out of bounds “Citizen Kane.” Without stupid sleds. Or story.

Movies with plot are over the rated. Serious.

Plot? Really?

You are to the reading of a critic think write of “Project X” and you are really thinking the plot is a thing of mattering? Plot is replaced by:

1) Boobs

2) Butt

3) Tight female bellies (which must be under the age – High School, right? HOT!!!)

4) Booze

5) Midgets

6) Boobs

7) Drugs (not just me)

8) Car in pool

9) Fat kids to fun out on

10) Boobs

11) Hand held camera!

Is this “Cloverfield”? Better.

“The Blair Witch Project” (more boobs than the witch here)? Better.

“Paranormal Activity 1-15”? Better.

The “why” is answered by boobs. And crazy teen hi-jinks. Virgins deflowered. Window broken. Then another broken. And hymens (see the deflowering before, but also with the broken part. YES!).

Do you feel that I am in love with this film? I am.

It pretends to be nothing more than it is. Party out of bounds (thanks, B-52’s). I laughed. I coughed (after another pull on the dugout I recently purchased off of internet sales).

Conclusion: If when the seeing of the trailer for this film makes you say “Hells yeah, if I miss this, my life is lesser than that it was” you will love it.

If when you see the trailer you feel the stick crawl up your butt telling you that “fun is only for the young?” Stay home and watch “Matlock.”

This is no “Shark Night 3-D.”

And, thanks to Odin, this isn’t the crap licking “Lorax.” I can thank more than one God for that.

So, one thumb asleep. The other thumb erect, because that thumb likes on the boobs. Who doesn’t?

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. “Glee?” WTF?!? Ryan Murphy, although before I never let the suspect for my boner on Dianna Agron, you have gone too much far. Our feud is to for the public. I call you out. Why is my mind your mess? There will be blood.

May 27, 2011July 14, 2011

The Hangover Part II [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Todd Phillips, The Hangover Part 2, Craig Mazin, Scot Armstrong, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Ken Jeong, Paul Giamatti, Mike Tyson, Jeffrey Tambor, mason Lee, Jamie Chung, Sasha Barrese, Gillian Vigman, Aroon Seeboonruang, Nirut Sirichanya, Yasmin Lee, Nick Cassavetes, Sondra Currie, Schnitrnunt Busarakamwong, Bryan Callen, Brody Stevens, Nimit Luksameepong, Michael Berry, Andrew Howard, Danai Thiengdham, Thana Srisuke, Pairot Noiply, Penpak Sirikul, Sanita Jai-Ua, Chanicha Shindejanichakul, Vithaya Pansringarm, Kim Lee, Palakorn Chaiklang, Palakorn Gunjina, Pongsatorn Sawadchatchawan, Kaweeit Chaikaew, Pure Watanabe, Rattana Janprasit, Jetsada Yuktabutra, Tanner Maguire, William A. Johnson, Aedin Mincks, Dylan Boyack, William Jiang, Lynne Kidder, Fred North, Crystal, Christina Ebert, Karen Jean Wu, Steve Bing, Scott Budnick, Joseph Garner, Daniel Goldberg, Jon Jashni, Chris Lowenstein, David Siegel, Thomas Tull, Vineet, Jeffrey Wetzel, Christophe Beck, Lawrence Sher, Debra Neil-Fisher, Mike Sale, Oliver Ackermann, Jennifer Corey, David Clark, Lloyd Bunnak, Jeanne Byrd, Fred Fein, Tim Williams

The Hangover Part II

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

The new adventures of Phil, Alan and Doug, who embark on a journey in the exotic Thailand for the wedding of Stu. Obviously the stag night you will lose another “piece” (dirty!).

As usual, be faced with the need/desire to make a second chapter of a successful film is always a challenge (see “Kung Fu Panda 2″ – or don’t!). Especially when it is a comedy that does not include any serial, but that simply was lucky enough to guess a cast and a history of working well together.

The case of Hangover is a prime example: the same four rogues can repeat the success of stellar first episode?

Empirical evidence shows that the answer is yes! Huzzah!

Of course, Todd Phillips is the first to realize that one of the four is quite pointless, Doug/Justin Bartha, and in fact had already left on the roof of the hotel throughout the first film.

This time it leaves his hotel in favor of his brother’s betrothed to Stu. Teddy, by the way, is the son of Ang Lee. What?

Freed of the character who does not laugh is the trio “base” that embodies the classic stereotypes: the embarrassing Alan, who, besides being awkward all over the threshold of acceptability, it is always over the top; the clumsy Stu, that under the surface of respectability hides the nature of a beast of war; and the ever-staid Phil, who besides being the “beautiful” is also consciousness (this is my longest sentence).

To catch the public and raise the bar even further, the director, increasing the coefficient of action of the film and makes it even more surreal situations already at the limit.

The first move: to move to Bangkok’s after Las Vegas in America there would be nothing at then – Alan to zero and place a tattoo-also identical to that of Tyson in the face-to Stu. Really.

Obviously this time someone will disappear, but will leave a finger as a souvenir!

No babies, but mostly monkeys and nothing she blonde with blue eyes, but a transvestite Thai and if not enough here is the return of Mr. Chow’s more chilling than ever. Yes.

Needless to say, “reel” final photo is from censure (and probably will, not in Europe).

At the end of the second episode is a more Eastern and more adrenaline than the first, but any coach will confirm that: Never change a winning team, though we doubt it can get to third with the same form.

P.S. Game of Thrones is good! Get out and watch some T.V.!

Kimmo Mustonenen – Behind The Proscenium
Follow @KimmoMustonenen