Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Project X, Nima Nourizadeh, Matt Drake, Michael Bacall, Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Dax Flame, Kirby Bliss Blanton, Brady Hender, Nick Nervies, Alexis Knapp, Miles Teller, Peter Mackenzie, Caitlin Dulany, Rob Evors, Rick Shapiro, Martin Klebba, Pete Gardner, Nichole Bloom, Sam Lant, Henry Michaelson, Brendan Miller, Brent Tamol, Kyle Kwasnick, David Sanchez, Ayyde Vargas, Chelsea Carbaugh-Rutland, Zach Lasry, Micahel C. Stretton, Andrew Harbour, Allan Chanes, Holden Morse, Rax Mataz, Briana Mari Wilde, Jarod Einsohn, Chet Hanks, Julian Evens, Jesse Marco, Chic Daniels, Kevin Dunigan, Colleen Flynn, Sophia Santi, Jodi Harris, Frank Buckley, Serene Branson, Robb Reesman, Kevin Ryder, Gene 'Bean' Baxter, Big Boy, Jimmy Kimmel, Jillian Barberie, Scott Budnick, Marty Ewing, Alex Heineman, Todd Phillips, Steve Richards, Andrew Rona, Joel Silver, Ken Seng, Jeff Groth, Juel Bestrop, Seth Yanklewitz, Bill Brzeski, Desma Murphy, Alison McCosh, Jennifer Corey, David Jacobson, Mark Scoon, David Siegel, Imhotep Coleman, Allan Graf, Michael Neumann, Paul Byme Prenderville, Katey Wheelhouse, Micahel A. Casey, Steve Coover, Kiel Gookin, Eddie Grisco, Damon Hight, David Lee Fein, Marla McGuire, Coleman Metts, Rick Owens, Trevor Sperry, Ryan Andersen, Michael Sean Foley, Casey Adams, jeffrey Barnett, Michael Barnett, Todd Bryant, Wayne Dalglish, Tara Deadrick, Justin Gant, Allan Graf, Zac Henry, Sara HOlden, Tim James, Jim Stephan, Jake Swallow, David Woodruff, Scott Workman, Joseph Aguirre, Beth Dubber, Pete Johnson, George Maxwell, Eric Tramp, John Trunk, Bill Dance, Adam Ohi, Afnahn Khan, Gene Hilfer, Dave Lawrence, Jacob Nathan, Jason Ruder, Matthew Ackerson, Susan Bliss, Bettina Browne, Jeanne Byrd, Florence Chung, Chris Cortez, Jeanie Daniels, Alyssa Feener, Alaina Filo, Toby Gallo, Elliot Gannon, Jeremy Gilbreath, Aaron Hammersley, Hans Hernke, Josie Hines, Michael E. Jacobson, Alice S. Kim, Caroline Livengood, Christopher J. Maldonado, Dylan Matlock, Justin Mickelson, Carolina Maria Mora, Eric Petersen, Amy Poncher, Lara Ravdjee, Ryan Robertson, Maxwell Salbert, Emma Siegel, Karl Sonnenberg, Kirk Sullivan, Coleman Trapp, Carrie Tyson, Chris Winn

Project X [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Project X, Nima Nourizadeh, Matt Drake, Michael Bacall, Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Dax Flame, Kirby Bliss Blanton, Brady Hender, Nick Nervies, Alexis Knapp, Miles Teller, Peter Mackenzie, Caitlin Dulany, Rob Evors, Rick Shapiro, Martin Klebba, Pete Gardner, Nichole Bloom, Sam Lant, Henry Michaelson, Brendan Miller, Brent Tamol, Kyle Kwasnick, David Sanchez, Ayyde Vargas, Chelsea Carbaugh-Rutland, Zach Lasry, Micahel C. Stretton, Andrew Harbour, Allan Chanes, Holden Morse, Rax Mataz, Briana Mari Wilde, Jarod Einsohn, Chet Hanks, Julian Evens, Jesse Marco, Chic Daniels, Kevin Dunigan, Colleen Flynn, Sophia Santi, Jodi Harris, Frank Buckley, Serene Branson, Robb Reesman, Kevin Ryder, Gene 'Bean' Baxter, Big Boy, Jimmy Kimmel, Jillian Barberie, Scott Budnick, Marty Ewing, Alex Heineman, Todd Phillips, Steve Richards, Andrew Rona, Joel Silver, Ken Seng, Jeff Groth, Juel Bestrop, Seth Yanklewitz, Bill Brzeski, Desma Murphy, Alison McCosh, Jennifer Corey, David Jacobson, Mark Scoon, David Siegel, Imhotep Coleman, Allan Graf, Michael Neumann, Paul Byme Prenderville, Katey Wheelhouse, Micahel A. Casey, Steve Coover, Kiel Gookin, Eddie Grisco, Damon Hight, David Lee Fein, Marla McGuire, Coleman Metts, Rick Owens, Trevor Sperry, Ryan Andersen, Michael Sean Foley, Casey Adams, jeffrey Barnett, Michael Barnett, Todd Bryant, Wayne Dalglish, Tara Deadrick, Justin Gant, Allan Graf, Zac Henry, Sara HOlden, Tim James, Jim Stephan, Jake Swallow, David Woodruff, Scott Workman, Joseph Aguirre, Beth Dubber, Pete Johnson, George Maxwell, Eric Tramp, John Trunk, Bill Dance, Adam Ohi, Afnahn Khan, Gene Hilfer, Dave Lawrence, Jacob Nathan, Jason Ruder, Matthew Ackerson, Susan Bliss, Bettina Browne, Jeanne Byrd, Florence Chung, Chris Cortez, Jeanie Daniels, Alyssa Feener, Alaina Filo, Toby Gallo, Elliot Gannon, Jeremy Gilbreath, Aaron Hammersley, Hans Hernke, Josie Hines, Michael E. Jacobson, Alice S. Kim, Caroline Livengood, Christopher J. Maldonado, Dylan Matlock, Justin Mickelson, Carolina Maria Mora, Eric Petersen, Amy Poncher, Lara Ravdjee, Ryan Robertson, Maxwell Salbert, Emma Siegel, Karl Sonnenberg, Kirk Sullivan, Coleman Trapp, Carrie Tyson, Chris WinnProject X

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Thanks to Odin.  Much thanks.

Why?

Tuesday, with the fact that Tuesday must happen, happens.

Tuesday?

Reviewing assignments for Friday.

My mind is sweating mind thoughts:  “Please Odin, if I am to review that damn “Lorax” movie, drop me first with a face stretching stroke.  Explode my eyeballs.  Make me never to see the whoring out of a great man by his money grubbing widow (because I already am still in the stink of “Cat In The Hat”Mike Meyers, you make Canada sad with this.).

Then the God of Cargo came through – assignment “Project X.”

The “YES” I screamed was like that of Ron Jeremy in the day of hay.

“Project X.”

Teenagers in heat.

Crazy crap of the happening.

The party is bigger than big – or than the big it should have been (“Risky Business”, but funny).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Project X, Nima Nourizadeh, Matt Drake, Michael Bacall, Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Dax Flame, Kirby Bliss Blanton, Brady Hender, Nick Nervies, Alexis Knapp, Miles Teller, Peter Mackenzie, Caitlin Dulany, Rob Evors, Rick Shapiro, Martin Klebba, Pete Gardner, Nichole Bloom, Sam Lant, Henry Michaelson, Brendan Miller, Brent Tamol, Kyle Kwasnick, David Sanchez, Ayyde Vargas, Chelsea Carbaugh-Rutland, Zach Lasry, Micahel C. Stretton, Andrew Harbour, Allan Chanes, Holden Morse, Rax Mataz, Briana Mari Wilde, Jarod Einsohn, Chet Hanks, Julian Evens, Jesse Marco, Chic Daniels, Kevin Dunigan, Colleen Flynn, Sophia Santi, Jodi Harris, Frank Buckley, Serene Branson, Robb Reesman, Kevin Ryder, Gene 'Bean' Baxter, Big Boy, Jimmy Kimmel, Jillian Barberie, Scott Budnick, Marty Ewing, Alex Heineman, Todd Phillips, Steve Richards, Andrew Rona, Joel Silver, Ken Seng, Jeff Groth, Juel Bestrop, Seth Yanklewitz, Bill Brzeski, Desma Murphy, Alison McCosh, Jennifer Corey, David Jacobson, Mark Scoon, David Siegel, Imhotep Coleman, Allan Graf, Michael Neumann, Paul Byme Prenderville, Katey Wheelhouse, Micahel A. Casey, Steve Coover, Kiel Gookin, Eddie Grisco, Damon Hight, David Lee Fein, Marla McGuire, Coleman Metts, Rick Owens, Trevor Sperry, Ryan Andersen, Michael Sean Foley, Casey Adams, jeffrey Barnett, Michael Barnett, Todd Bryant, Wayne Dalglish, Tara Deadrick, Justin Gant, Allan Graf, Zac Henry, Sara HOlden, Tim James, Jim Stephan, Jake Swallow, David Woodruff, Scott Workman, Joseph Aguirre, Beth Dubber, Pete Johnson, George Maxwell, Eric Tramp, John Trunk, Bill Dance, Adam Ohi, Afnahn Khan, Gene Hilfer, Dave Lawrence, Jacob Nathan, Jason Ruder, Matthew Ackerson, Susan Bliss, Bettina Browne, Jeanne Byrd, Florence Chung, Chris Cortez, Jeanie Daniels, Alyssa Feener, Alaina Filo, Toby Gallo, Elliot Gannon, Jeremy Gilbreath, Aaron Hammersley, Hans Hernke, Josie Hines, Michael E. Jacobson, Alice S. Kim, Caroline Livengood, Christopher J. Maldonado, Dylan Matlock, Justin Mickelson, Carolina Maria Mora, Eric Petersen, Amy Poncher, Lara Ravdjee, Ryan Robertson, Maxwell Salbert, Emma Siegel, Karl Sonnenberg, Kirk Sullivan, Coleman Trapp, Carrie Tyson, Chris WinnFirst, I, Kimmo place a major hit in the bong.  I say you, the viewer, must do the same.

Then another.

Then one more.

“Project X” is now the adolescent party gone out of bounds “Citizen Kane.”  Without stupid sleds.  Or story.

Movies with plot are over the rated.  Serious.

Plot?  Really?

You are to the reading of a critic think write of “Project X” and you are really thinking the plot is a thing of mattering?  Plot is replaced by:

1)    Boobs

2)    Butt

3)    Tight female bellies (which must be under the age – High School, right?  HOT!!!)

4)    Booze

5)    Midgets

6)    Boobs

7)    Drugs (not just me)

8)    Car in pool

9)    Fat kids to fun out on

10)  Boobs

11)  Hand held camera!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Project X, Nima Nourizadeh, Matt Drake, Michael Bacall, Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Dax Flame, Kirby Bliss Blanton, Brady Hender, Nick Nervies, Alexis Knapp, Miles Teller, Peter Mackenzie, Caitlin Dulany, Rob Evors, Rick Shapiro, Martin Klebba, Pete Gardner, Nichole Bloom, Sam Lant, Henry Michaelson, Brendan Miller, Brent Tamol, Kyle Kwasnick, David Sanchez, Ayyde Vargas, Chelsea Carbaugh-Rutland, Zach Lasry, Micahel C. Stretton, Andrew Harbour, Allan Chanes, Holden Morse, Rax Mataz, Briana Mari Wilde, Jarod Einsohn, Chet Hanks, Julian Evens, Jesse Marco, Chic Daniels, Kevin Dunigan, Colleen Flynn, Sophia Santi, Jodi Harris, Frank Buckley, Serene Branson, Robb Reesman, Kevin Ryder, Gene 'Bean' Baxter, Big Boy, Jimmy Kimmel, Jillian Barberie, Scott Budnick, Marty Ewing, Alex Heineman, Todd Phillips, Steve Richards, Andrew Rona, Joel Silver, Ken Seng, Jeff Groth, Juel Bestrop, Seth Yanklewitz, Bill Brzeski, Desma Murphy, Alison McCosh, Jennifer Corey, David Jacobson, Mark Scoon, David Siegel, Imhotep Coleman, Allan Graf, Michael Neumann, Paul Byme Prenderville, Katey Wheelhouse, Micahel A. Casey, Steve Coover, Kiel Gookin, Eddie Grisco, Damon Hight, David Lee Fein, Marla McGuire, Coleman Metts, Rick Owens, Trevor Sperry, Ryan Andersen, Michael Sean Foley, Casey Adams, jeffrey Barnett, Michael Barnett, Todd Bryant, Wayne Dalglish, Tara Deadrick, Justin Gant, Allan Graf, Zac Henry, Sara HOlden, Tim James, Jim Stephan, Jake Swallow, David Woodruff, Scott Workman, Joseph Aguirre, Beth Dubber, Pete Johnson, George Maxwell, Eric Tramp, John Trunk, Bill Dance, Adam Ohi, Afnahn Khan, Gene Hilfer, Dave Lawrence, Jacob Nathan, Jason Ruder, Matthew Ackerson, Susan Bliss, Bettina Browne, Jeanne Byrd, Florence Chung, Chris Cortez, Jeanie Daniels, Alyssa Feener, Alaina Filo, Toby Gallo, Elliot Gannon, Jeremy Gilbreath, Aaron Hammersley, Hans Hernke, Josie Hines, Michael E. Jacobson, Alice S. Kim, Caroline Livengood, Christopher J. Maldonado, Dylan Matlock, Justin Mickelson, Carolina Maria Mora, Eric Petersen, Amy Poncher, Lara Ravdjee, Ryan Robertson, Maxwell Salbert, Emma Siegel, Karl Sonnenberg, Kirk Sullivan, Coleman Trapp, Carrie Tyson, Chris WinnIs this “Cloverfield”?  Better.

“The Blair Witch Project” (more boobs than the witch here)?  Better.

“Paranormal Activity 1-15”?  Better.

The “why” is answered by boobs.  And crazy teen hi-jinks.  Virgins deflowered.  Window broken.  Then another broken.  And hymens (see the deflowering before, but also with the broken part.  YES!).

Do you feel that I am in love with this film?  I am.

It pretends to be nothing more than it is.  Party out of bounds (thanks, B-52’s).  I laughed.  I coughed (after another pull on the dugout I recently purchased off of internet sales).

Conclusion:  If when the seeing of the trailer for this film makes you say “Hells yeah, if I miss this, my life is lesser than that it was” you will love it.

If when you see the trailer you feel the stick crawl up your butt telling you that “fun is only for the young?”  Stay home and watch “Matlock.”

This is no “Shark Night 3-D.”

And, thanks to Odin, this isn’t the crap licking “Lorax.”  I can thank more than one God for that.

So, one thumb asleep.  The other thumb erect, because that thumb likes on the boobs.  Who doesn’t?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “Glee?”  WTF?!?  Ryan Murphy, although before I never let the suspect for my boner on Dianna Agron, you have gone too much far.  Our feud is to for the public.  I call you out.  Why is my mind your mess?  There will be blood.

3 comments

  1. Hollywood Producer · March 2, 2012

    Big opening last night at midnight. $1.5 million. Could beat that “Lorax”.

  2. Heavy G · March 2, 2012

    I’ll save my money for The Hunger Games.

  3. sinbad · March 2, 2012

    I’m sold. I just hope it doesn’t give the high school kids across the street any ideas (not that they need a movie to learn how to throw an out of control party).