Walt Disney – Behind the Proscenium

The Year In Films Of The Year – 2012

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Busy?

Damn, yes.

Why is life, so with amaze, such, at times, a bitchy bitch?

More tragedies making small of my family even smaller in Finland.

American girlfriend who I find with beauty then find with STD after she is of the unfaithful type (I hate you, Sakko, for your disease and your butt face – forever).

My time in hospital for “stress therapy reduction” yet there is no Kossu or the sweet, sweet smoke.

This was the most stressful.

And more important in my thoughts, my missing of you cool readers who I have missed with an ache in my heart muscle.

Really.

So now, the films that in 2012 gave a big stiffy to myself.

Django Unchained

Django (unchained) goes on a personal war with a dentist friend (and former Nazi) to find Black Broomhilde (the comic book witch) who is being held by Gilbert Grape’s retardo brother.

And Samuel L. Jackson (“I have had it with these motherfucking slaves on this motherfucking plantation!”) is much awesome, too.

Django’s ass is so bad that Lincoln is forced to free the slaves.

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Lincoln

America’s tallest American (until Yao Ming) has become President because he is tall.

But he is tired and weary from fighting The Confederation.

Lincoln (read my review HERE) has learned (from Django) that all are equal – but Django is more equal than others.

So politics happen.

Tommy Lee Jones has crazy hair and then does not hair at all.

James Spader is fat.

And then there is, from House of Animals, Bruce McGill.

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FDR: American Badass!

With Bruce McGill! Most times, history gives me the sleepy bores. Not 2012 (see above so far).

Best of all film history is this film.

History comes alive – with a machine gun wheelchair and Werewolf Hitler (Jesse Merlin). In Finland the “Nazi = Werewolf” knowledge was always a fact.

To see it on screen as truth?

I had a case of leaky eye. Battles, Italians, naked women, brilliant quotes (“Shut the fuck up, Einstein!”) this film had it all.

Suck the bong – see this film. In that order.

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Silver Linings Playbook

Jennifer Lawrence has the most awesome boobies in the world.

She wears tight dance clothes.

She has too much talk at award shows.

What more can I say?

Oh, and Bradley Cooper does not play a dick.

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Skyfall

Boom!

Kablooey!

Gay Javier Bardem!

Daniel Craig shot (that’s what you get for stealing Rachel Weisz from me, asshole)!

Death!

Hot Bond chick!

And Oscar winner Dame Judi Dench. She does not get the excited exclamation. Because she (SPOILER ALERT) dies.

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Wreck-It Ralph

Film of the year!!!

No shit.

Ziggy and I went to the screening fully loaded on the smoke.

Fully.

Loaded.

Then came popcorn, washed down with Kossu.

Then came the movie.

Son of a bitch.

I was in the 80s and a video game ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

My life was a treat – I never wanted for me to leave this heaven.

And Sarah Silverman was there but little-girl style – creepy.

Pac Man. Dig Dug. Forbert.

I was completed. I could no more have the wanting of anything.

Then the thing damn ended.

I wept.

Ziggy wept.

We smoked more of the smoke, shot more of Kossu, and into the next screening we were snuck.

And again.

Then one more time.

FILM OF THE YEAR!

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I have only been scratching my surface. There are more. I will add as real reviews pop back to the internet space and to my friends – you – weekly.

I am running out of family in Finland for so to die, so this promise I may keep. The weekly writing. But you knew that.

Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. I cannot find Jalapeno Cheddar Cheetos anywhere. WTF?!? Together, for Cheeto freedom, we must together band, like a twin, or a litter of puppies (really vicious puppies)! Make the tastiest of the tasty be available everywhere! Are you with me?

Winnie the Pooh

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Of more than 35 years since his last major movie appearance he is finally back: Winnie the Pooh, the honey-loving, always good-natured bear from the woods (where Pooh the bear goes – well… – The Pope is Catholic, right?).

In many places is the question – where the Heffalump has the Pooh been?

Forgotten, ignored, displaced?

This theatrical release alone is enough to run under the great banner of Walt Disney (and his frozen head – article later).

For this had been entirely based on old traditions and even if the marketing was on the safe side, and a post-modern piece of animation a la “Shrek” purported to end – it was a classical fairy tale and a good one at that.

With Winnie the Pooh, Disney goes a step further (or back, in both space and time), but here is a very old-fashioned, even to two-dimensional cartoon (not 3D, much thanks to God).

Is that nice?

Heffalump yes it is!!!

For content, one has taken three original stories of Winnie the Pooh inventor A.A. Milne.

Everything is as usual, feels familiar and exudes the nostalgic charm of the original and would smell like a cookie.

Childhood memories, surprises remain out completely (and we know that surprised children can be calamitous). It is just what you expect.

Pooh has in search of fresh honey, Eeyore lost his tail and then disappears (but not like in Hostel – that would freak me out!).

The story is really Heffalumping slow going, but in this case is not a disadvantage, because the film is primarily designed for a very young audience, and for many it will be the first cinema experience (Playskool’s “My First Cinema!” Send me a check, Playskool).

It will be taken for all time, faster, more exciting passages are interspersed with quiet moments at the pause (I think). Which is for the drooling old and much for the drooling young. And both go in their pants.

By a narrator who is voiced by John Cleese, opens up a playful connection between audience and film world.

Among the hand-drawn pictures in watercolor style are also found numerous pages of a book whose words are the story and interact with Pooh as well as with his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood.

Especially at this point it is interesting for older viewers, since in Winnie the Pooh are many word games and gimmicks with the fourth wall (thanks for that one, theater school!).

Also emphasize the positive, was very successful finale, in which provides an involuntary seizing of the characters in a self-dug pit for jokes – like a “Saturday Night Live”.

Winnie the Pooh is no more, no less, no up, no down. Is a great movie for kids, a nostalgia for the grown and enjoy a short (in the beginning) – namely “The Ballad of Nessie”.

So, as like Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (what a good weekend for movies!) – two more vigorous thumb wavings – old fashioned and refreshing (lemonade!).

If you don’t go, you are Heffalumping crazy! I stand by this statement.

Kimmo Mustonenen (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S. If you have a hatred for my English – go Heffalump yourself! In the pore!

Tag: Walt Disney

The Year In Films Of The Year 2012

Winnie the Pooh [REVIEW]