Good morning.
At Manka Bros. Studios, we have a suggestion box placed near the Fountain of Wisdom next to the 12-foot statue of my uncle – the great Khan Manka, Sr.
Normally, I don’t pay too much attention to the suggestions as they are mostly about the small portions served at the cafeteria; why isn’t gym membership free; and why we don’t give away more free stuff (like DVDs of our movies), etc.
But yesterday, I was made aware of a suggestion that I felt I should take head on:
“If Manka Bros. is currently going through a cost-cutting program which includes pretty severe headcount cuts, why wouldn’t you consider selling the Manka Bros. corporate jet in order to save a few of those jobs?”
This is a very thoughtful, but, I hate to say, very stupid and short-sighted question.
The jet stays.
Period.
I have never considered selling the jet for one very special reason – I need it. And I am the Chairman & CEO. Capische?
Without the jet, I would never have been able to take a call from COO Lloyd Grohl informing me we had won the movie rights to Cormac McCarthy’s “Rampage of the Stegosaur.”Â
Sure, I could have learned about it when I touched down in New York like a normal schlub at JFK or some such shit (if I was flying commercial like an idiot) – but I think it was important that I got that news an hour earlier so that I could think about what it meant for the company.
“But that movie lost $200 million,” you say.
And I say, shut the fuck up. We’re not done with that property, moron.
We have a musical coming out on Broadway that could end up making $1 billion. Nobody knows the future (though the music and lyrics need lots of work. Oy, those songs).
Without the jet, I wouldn’t have been able to fly to the Olympics in Sochi without going through security. Those lines were really long!
And do you know how hard it is to get to your house in the Seychelles when you’re flying commercial?!
Or Sun Valley? That would look pathetic to the other moguls.
So don’t tell me to sell the jet that I earned!
I’m a “MANKA,” goddamnit! Asking me to sell my plane is like me asking you to sell your child.
Go ahead, sell your child. I bet you could save a couple jobs with the money you make in the black-market-child-selling-ring.
Who looks foolish now, Ray Adler in Home Video? Oh, I mean, “Anonymous.”
Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company
I am worried – where will the necessary cuts be made? Surely not the 12 foot statue? Where else can you have the perfect demonstration of pointless wealth? After all, even poor people can enjoy the statue at no cost to themselves…
Is this a send up of corporate greed or what
Basically you like having a private jet because it helps your ego and it’s fun. Lets not pretend it’s about numbers to you.
Happy flying 🙂
You sir, are a narcissistic asshole that needs to be put in a third world country stripped off of all your luxury to see how you cope.
Andres, if you took one ride in this baby – you wouldn’t give it up either. Do you realize a limo picks you up on the tarmac and takes you home and there is no security?
LOL….I bet you have to pay for sex, especially since you have a teeny tiny johnson like all indian men.
Keep the jet…it’s the only way you’ll get any from an actual woman without directly paying for it. What a buffoon.
Thank you. I needed that.
You are a total asshole.
Total asshole… like a fox!
Ha-ha awesome…… this is satire right?
Oh no, it’s not. I’m currently piloting one of Mr Manka’s drones to your house. This one is an ARdrone because of the AR 15 rifle Mr Lanka had Lockheed mount on it. Mr Lanka was outraged you wouldn’t feel empathy for his sadness at someone daring to challenge his birthright to a private jet. Can you hear that buzzing noise in the sky yet?
Kindly,
Dwight Dimwad.
Society today seems to think that being wealthy is a crime. I say wealthy people worked their way to get to where they are today. As for the complainers sitting on their chair at home complaining, maybe you guys should do something about your own situation.
lol this Khan Manka, Jr. guy is funny. Hire me so I can get a ride in that jet!