Manka Bros. Bets The Farm On “Hey Diddle Diddle”

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanGood morning.

Following an all night film strategy brainstorming session, I am pleased to announce Manka Bros. has committed to produce a $250 million reimagining of the classic children’s fairy tale “Hey Diddle Diddle”.

This is a mighty big bet for the studio and a decision I don’t make lightly.

And while it seems that every studio in town is doing a fairy tale remake right now (Red Riding Hood and Jack the Giant Killer at Warners, Hansel & Gretel at Paramount and there are THREE Snow White movies in various stages of development, etc.), I think we have hit on a concept that will definitely help “Hey Diddle Diddle” break through the clutter.

In the story’s current form, you have a Cat playing a Fiddle, a Cow jumping over the Moon, a Dog laughing and Dish running away with a Spoon… silly stuff that doesn’t translate to a long form feature film – much less the elements of a movie anyone over four would want to see.

Problem solved.

We’re going to take the same classic characters and set the story in a Soviet gulag work camp in the 1930s.  This will allow us to dig deep into the psyches of these characters.

What makes the cow jump over the moon?  Freedom.

Why does the dish run away with the spoon?  Forbidden love.

Why is the cat playing the fiddle?  Because Stalin likes music and if the cat doesn’t play, he dies.

Stuff like that.  Very powerful.

And while we don’t have a screenwriter, director or cast set, we do have a release date:  July 4, 2012.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

The Future Is Last Year – CES 2011 Keynote – Khan Manka, Jr.

Accel Partners, Alan Eustace, Allen & Company retreat, Allen Blue, Ann Mather, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Arvind Rajan, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Bret Taylor, Carol Bartz, CES 2011, Chamath Palihapitiya, Charlie Rose, Chris Hughes, Christopher Cox, Cory Booker, Dan Rose, David Drummond, David Ebersman, David Fischer, David Henke, David Kirkpatrick, David Sze, Deep Nishar, DumbDumb, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Electus, Ellen Levy, Elliot Schrage, Emilie Choi, Eric Schmidt, Erika Rottenberg, Erin Burnett, Gerald Levin, Gina Bianchini, Greylock Partners, Harvey Weinstein, HBO, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jean-Luc Vaillant, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jill Kennedy, Jim Breyer, Joanna Shields, John Doerr, John Donahue, John Hennessy, Jon Miller, Jonathan Heiliger, Jonathan Rosenberg, Justin Aselage, Katrina Hau, Ken Auletta, Kevin Eyres, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Li Ka-shing, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Lori Goler, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Cuban, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Matt Cohler, Mike Bloomberg, Mike Gamson, Mike Murphy, Mike Schroepfer, MySpace, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Carlson, Nikesh Arora, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Patrick Crane, Patrick Pichette, Paul Buchheit, Paul Madera, Paul Otellini, Peter Chernin, Peter Thiel, Phillippe Dauman, Ram Shriram, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robby Kwok, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Shirley Tilghman, Shona Brown, Steve Cadigan, Steve Jobs, Steve Patrizi, Steve Sordello, Sumner Redstone, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Ted Ullyot, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tony DiSanto, Toy Story 3, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, Warren Lieberfarb, World's Largest Media CompanyGood morning.

First off, to all of my friends who are badly hungover this morning – I’m told the Circus Circus Buffet will clean out your system pretty well.

And to all my friends who are still drunk from last night [there are some claps and hoots from the audience] – well done – but pace yourselves, gentlemen and ladies, there are three more drunken days yet to go.

Especially you, Bob Iger[Bob Iger, in the front row, howls like a wolf.]

Last night, we were at Caesar’s drinking on Cleopatra’s Barge and Bob said he was going to close the place down.  I had to remind him it was a casino in Vegas and they don’t close!

Anyway, let’s get started.

How about a joke?  What do you call someone who was a nerd in high school but went on to makes billions in technology and basically changed the way we live our lives?  A nerd.

I’m not here today as an ally to the consumer electronics industry.  Frankly, you can all F yourselves.  I’m here to say to all you geeks and computer dorks who think you can tell Hollywood how to entertain the world that today HOLLYWOOD FIGHTS BACK!

I don’t give a shit about your new phone.  I don’t give a shit about the “digital cloud” you built to hold all my media files – if you guys really want to be useful, develop a killer App that will clean and organize my garage.  And I don’t give a shit about being able to perfectly simulate a Vietnam jungle battle in my family room.

Seriously, why do I need a new phone and new television every fucking year?

When I was a growing up in the 1960s we had one innovation – color television.  That lasted us 20 years until we had a VCR that could play tapes of movies.  That lasted us 20 years until we had DVD players that could play DVDs of movies.

If you freakin’ tech idiots would have left well and good alone, we Hollywood studios would still be raking in billions from DVD sales and my friend Sumner Redstone wouldn’t have to sell his blood and plasma just to pay the rent.  That’s a joke, he actually has other people sell their blood and plasma to pay his rent.

Accel Partners, Alan Eustace, Allen & Company retreat, Allen Blue, Ann Mather, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Arvind Rajan, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Bret Taylor, Carol Bartz, CES 2011, Chamath Palihapitiya, Charlie Rose, Chris Hughes, Christopher Cox, Cory Booker, Dan Rose, David Drummond, David Ebersman, David Fischer, David Henke, David Kirkpatrick, David Sze, Deep Nishar, DumbDumb, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Electus, Ellen Levy, Elliot Schrage, Emilie Choi, Eric Schmidt, Erika Rottenberg, Erin Burnett, Gerald Levin, Gina Bianchini, Greylock Partners, Harvey Weinstein, HBO, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jean-Luc Vaillant, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jill Kennedy, Jim Breyer, Joanna Shields, John Doerr, John Donahue, John Hennessy, Jon Miller, Jonathan Heiliger, Jonathan Rosenberg, Justin Aselage, Katrina Hau, Ken Auletta, Kevin Eyres, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Li Ka-shing, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Lori Goler, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Cuban, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Matt Cohler, Mike Bloomberg, Mike Gamson, Mike Murphy, Mike Schroepfer, MySpace, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Carlson, Nikesh Arora, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Patrick Crane, Patrick Pichette, Paul Buchheit, Paul Madera, Paul Otellini, Peter Chernin, Peter Thiel, Phillippe Dauman, Ram Shriram, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robby Kwok, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Shirley Tilghman, Shona Brown, Steve Cadigan, Steve Jobs, Steve Patrizi, Steve Sordello, Sumner Redstone, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Ted Ullyot, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tony DiSanto, Toy Story 3, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, Warren Lieberfarb, World's Largest Media CompanySo today, on behalf of Manka Bros.The World’s Largest Media Company – and my studio mogul brethren, I ask the consumer electronics industry to STOP THE INNOVATION.

Stop making my toaster check the traffic before I leave home.

Stop telling the world which bars and prostitutes I have visited.

Stop having these pointless trade shows that only exist so that media executives can act like they’re working but are actually just partying in Vegas [many ‘boos’ from the crowd].

Imagine the turnout CES would have if it were held in Akron every year.

Stop everything you’re doing and let us premium content creators go back to doing what we do best –  entertaining the world.

Don’t you morons understand we just want to make movies and television shows?  It’s killing us to constantly spend our time reconfiguring formats to fit the new phone in our hand or the chip in the back of our brains.

We just want it to be 2003 again. So either join us or get the fuck out of our way because we are going backwards and will do everything it takes to do things the way we have always done them.  Capisce?

Google, Microsoft and Facebook are not the studios of the future.  Audiences can only watch so many movies about computer nerds who save the world and date robot women.

Questions?

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Manka Bros. Would Like To Offer Jeff Zucker A Job

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Bradley, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Brian Grazer, Brian Roberts, Candice Bergen, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chase Carey, Chris Silbermann, Cory Booker, Diane Von Furstenberg, Don Graham, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Eisner, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, George Bodenheimer, Gina Bianchini, Gordon Crawford, Haim Saban, Hank Vigil, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Berg, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jim Berkus, Jim Gianopulos, Jim Robinson, John Donahue, Jon Miller, Jonathan Dolgen, Ken Auletta, Ken Chenault, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Larry Page, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Michael Ovitz, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Owen Van Natta, Patt Morrison, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Rachael Ray, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robbie Bach, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tim Armstrong, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tom Glocer, Tom Rothman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Bradley, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Brian Grazer, Brian Roberts, Candice Bergen, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chase Carey, Chris Silbermann, Cory Booker, Diane Von Furstenberg, Don Graham, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Eisner, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, George Bodenheimer, Gina Bianchini, Gordon Crawford, Haim Saban, Hank Vigil, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Berg, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jim Berkus, Jim Gianopulos, Jim Robinson, John Donahue, Jon Miller, Jonathan Dolgen, Ken Auletta, Ken Chenault, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Larry Page, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Michael Ovitz, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Owen Van Natta, Patt Morrison, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Rachael Ray, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robbie Bach, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tim Armstrong, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tom Glocer, Tom Rothman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media CompanyI have sold my Comcast stock.

Frankly, I am stunned at today’s announcement that Jeff Zucker has been fired by Steve Burke at ComcastLittle Stevie Burke (who was a Manka Bros. intern years ago in our Publishing Group) has some balls on him.  He’s not even Jeff Zucker’s boss yet and he pulled the trigger on the firing.

My great old friend Brian Roberts doesn’t know what a treasure he has lost today.  It’s a crazy world when someone like Jeff Zucker doesn’t have a media empire to run.  I would call Brian on Jeff’s behalf to urge him to overrule Steve Burke, but I’m just too busy.

Well, JZ, even though Comcast Universal (which will still be smaller than Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company) doesn’t have a place for you after the merger, Manka Bros. DOES have a place for you.  I would like to offer you a job anywhere you want in the organization.  Check our Senior Management roster and pick the job you would like.

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Bradley, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Brian Grazer, Brian Roberts, Candice Bergen, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chase Carey, Chris Silbermann, Cory Booker, Diane Von Furstenberg, Don Graham, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Eisner, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, George Bodenheimer, Gina Bianchini, Gordon Crawford, Haim Saban, Hank Vigil, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Berg, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jim Berkus, Jim Gianopulos, Jim Robinson, John Donahue, Jon Miller, Jonathan Dolgen, Ken Auletta, Ken Chenault, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Larry Page, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Michael Ovitz, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Owen Van Natta, Patt Morrison, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Rachael Ray, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robbie Bach, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tim Armstrong, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tom Glocer, Tom Rothman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media CompanyManka Bros. has so underperformed this year, nearly every job is up for grabs (with the exception of Lloyd Grohl).  Just give me a 24 hour heads up and I’ll fire whomever you wish to replace.

Though based on your track record, personally, I would prefer you stayed away from our television group – but, really, beggars can’t be choosers, right?

I know you’re hurting right now and probably inconsolable and crying but just remember all the good times we’ve had from Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Retreat, to the lobster boil with Peter Chernin – lots of great times.

The party would continue and never stop if you joined our organization.  The whole thing just breaks my heart and I only wish to God Manka Bros. would have acquired NBC Universal when we had the chance just so that you would still have a job.

I know everyone thinks you’re an asshole (welcome to the club!) but your accomplishments at NBC cannot be ignored – from the hiring of Ben Silverman to the way you handled the Jay Leno/Conan situationNBC is in great shape and will only get stronger after you leave.  You can hold your head up!

So, think about it.  Take a couple of years, climb a mountain, backpack around Europe.  Hopefully, at least, GE will cash out your vacation time.  If not, and you need a low interest loan until you get back on your feet, just let me know.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Leaving For My House In The Seychelles

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, MIchelle Caruso-Cabrera, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company, Comic-Con, Leann Womack, Captain Stoppo, Lloyd Grohl

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Anne Sweeney, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, MIchelle Caruso-Cabrera, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media CompanyAs I said last year (and every year), this town is dead until after Labor Day and it’s pointless for someone like me to still be here working.

So… I’m leaving this afternoon for my house in the Seychelles and will return on September 7th.

Please don’t contact me unless there is some type of explosion or fire at the studio… or if something crazier happens – like one of our movies DOESN’T fail!

My plane will be making a short stop at Teterboro in New Jersey to pick up Michelle Caruso-Cabrera.  After that, my various cellphones and gadgets will be turned off until I return to Burbank.

Anyone who tries to reach me will be fired.  Anyone who does (somehow) reach me will be killed.

Keep working.  We’ve had another terrible year and everyone is to blame!

See you in September!

[REMEMBER:  Labor Day is NOT holiday at Manka Bros.  Just because I’m off doesn’t mean everyone is!]

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Book Club Meeting On Rupert Murdoch’s Boat

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company

Good morning from the Canary Islands!

I’m on the Manka Bros. Employee Yacht (The King Khan) which was paid for by all your hard work!

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company

As a reminder, because it is the “Employee Yacht” (paid for by a slight deduction from your weekly paychecks), one of you will be eligible to host your very own party for your friends or colleagues on this very yacht. The date set for this party is, I believe, a Tuesday in February – so be sure and sign up for the drawing.

Because we’re deep in the dog days of August, I am out of Hollywood and off the coast of Africa.

I was finally able to arrange for my Monthly Mogul Book Club Meeting which took place yesterday.  Unfortunately, it was Rupert Murdoch’s time to host the meeting which meant it was either going to be in Rupert’s crappy North Hollywood apartment or his ridiculous excuse for a yacht.

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company

Since we’re all out of town, we decided to meet on his “yacht” – actually a shitty old rickety sea trawler in desperate need of a paint job. He has named it “The Chase Carey.” It was once called “The Peter Chernin” but those letters appear to have been violently scratched out.

But Rupert didn’t get to be Rupert by buying fancy mansions and yachts. He got where he is today by eating mac & cheese and drinking water from the tap in his $750 / month North Hollywood apartment.

Rupert’s boat was anchored near the run-down port city of Naples, Italy. Since he didn’t have a helipad on his boat, we all had to deal with the inconvenience of getting there by either jetski or motorboat.

In attendance was Rupert Murdoch, Barry Diller, Jeff Zucker, Ben Silverman (replacing Harvey Weinstein – who officially lost his mogul status), Bob Iger, Sumner Redstone (by phone), Les Moonves and myself. (We really wanted to try and get some female moguls involved in the group but those are really hard to come by these days.  The only person close to mogul status is what’s her name from Facebook – that chick from the Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference.)

Anyway, because I had such a hard time remembering what happened at the last book club meeting once we started doing Slivovitz shots, this time I brought a little recorder to document the event.  My assistant, Vicky, was kind enough to transcribe it and post it here:

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Mogul Book Club Meeting – August 9, 2010 – Rupert Murdoch’s Boat “The Chase Carey”

Rupert: Murdoch: Thanks for coming. Thanks Khan for pulling this all together. I don’t have anything other than Keystone Beer on the boat, so hopefully you all got my note about bringing your own drinks. I do have a cheese plate and few leftover crackers from our TV Upfront Presentation in May.

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media CompanyOur book this month is “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.” I would like to thank Sumner Redstone for providing us all with a new iPad with the book preloaded onto it.

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): I didn’t provide any such thing! What the fuck? Who sent you all iPads? I’m not in the iPad giving business! Who sent it?  I’m not gonna kill that person – I just want to talk to him.

Bob Iger: I got it from Philippe Dauman. He signed both your names and said “Sorry he couldn’t make it.”

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): Dauman? I’ll kill him.

Jeff Zucker: Can we fucking talk about the stupid book?  I’ve got a meeting on Brian Roberts’ yacht off Capri in two hours.

Les Moonves: Do you still work for him or has he fired you? Nikki Finke hasn’t been clear about this.

Jeff Zucker: Look, Leslie… I fire – I don’t get fired. Capisce?

Barry Diller: I thought you said you had a cheese plate?

Rupert Murdoch: Maybe Lachlan didn’t set it out. There’s a cooler there on floor with ice in it.  It may be there.

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): Are we going to talk about the book? This “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” is a fiery bitch. I think I could do a show with her of some kind.

Bob Iger: Stop trying to make me throw up, Sumner.

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): I’ll ‘throw up’ you – right up your ass.

Barry Diller: There’s no cheese in this cooler, Rupert. The ice is all frosted together. Did you have fish in here?

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media CompanyKhan Manka, Jr.: The guy who wrote the book is from Finland or something, I think. He’s pretty hot right now.  We may go after his next book.

Jeff Zucker: He’s dead, you moron.

Khan Manka, Jr.:
Weren’t you fired yet, Fucker?

[Lots of laughs in the room.]

Barry Diller:
Rupert! Did you have fish in this cooler?  Fuck it. Ben go back to Naples and pick up some cheese. This is bullshit.

Jeff Zucker: This IS bullshit. I have to go.

Bob Iger:
So we’re not talking about the book?

Les Moonves: Fine with me. I didn’t read it.

Ben Silverman:
I had the coverage faxed to Diddy’s yacht last night but I haven’t perused it.

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): I’ll ‘peruse’ you – right up your ass!

Rupert Murdoch:
There’s a movie coming out.  I’ll just watch that. What studio’s got that?

Les Moonves:
Sony.

Rupert Murdoch: Fuckers ain’t got “Avatar” though, do they? Maybe we should invite Michael Lynton to the next meeting.

Jeff Zucker: Is he really a mogul? You never hear about him in the press.

Rupert Murdoch: Still not fired yet, huh? I give it another five minutes. Gentlemen, please leave your booze behind, I’m having people over tonight.

[Everyone leaves the boat.]

Sumner Redstone (over speaker phone): Hello? Are we talking about the book? Hello? What the fuck is this?  I can wait longer than you. I’m gonna live forever…

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Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Manka Bros.’ Gay Marriage Policy

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Clinton, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chelsea Clinton, Cory Booker, Danny kaye, DumbDumb, Electus, Ellen Degeneres, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harry Manka, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jay McBee, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Lance Bass, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Mort Zuckerman, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Portia De rossi, Proposition 8, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Ted Danson, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vaughn Walker, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Clinton, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chelsea Clinton, Cory Booker, Danny kaye, DumbDumb, Electus, Ellen Degeneres, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harry Manka, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jay McBee, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Lance Bass, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Mort Zuckerman, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Portia De rossi, Proposition 8, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Ted Danson, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vaughn Walker, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media CompanyYes, even though I am still at my Montauk house on vacation (recovering from Chelsea Clinton’s wedding) people still think it’s okay to bother me.

So last night, I received an urgent call from Natalie Kim – the head of Manka Bros. Human Resources.  She says she has received hundreds of emails from employees who wanted a clarification of Manka Bros.’ Gay Marriage Policy.

Even though I am heading out the door to play squash with Mort Zuckerman, I will take a couple of moments to address this issue.

Yes, Manka Bros. supports gay marriage.

Married employees (gay or straight) all receive the same benefits and perks (i.e., health coverage, 401K, 10% off Studio Store merchandise, free yogurt Fridays, etc.).

In fact, Manka Bros. has supported gay marriage for over 50 years – ever since my father, the asshole Harry Manka, signed a talent contract with Danny Kaye.  Part of the deal was that he would be allowed to be gay inside the studio and actually have a husband and a house on the lot.

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Clinton, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chelsea Clinton, Cory Booker, Danny kaye, DumbDumb, Electus, Ellen Degeneres, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harry Manka, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jay McBee, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Lance Bass, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Mort Zuckerman, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Portia De rossi, Proposition 8, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Ted Danson, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vaughn Walker, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company[Manka Bros. Corporate Legal Disclaimer: There is no proof that Danny Kaye was gay – he was just “allowed to be gay”.]

Because that experiment worked so well and kept Mr. Kaye so happy, it soon became Manka Bros.’ company policy – anyone who wanted to be gay and be married while at work was allowed to be.  There were some strict guidelines though:

  • No sex on Midwest Street (only in certain alleyways of the Greenwich Village backlot set would sex be tolerated);
  • And no showtunes or cabaret music of any kind to played during company events (this remains in effect and will never be repealed as long as I draw a breath).  Headphones are okay, I just don’t want to hear about it.

So, while many of you may be rejoicing in the overturning of Prop. 8, take comfort in the fact that it was always okay to be gay (and married) at Manka Bros.

In fact, I think this is a great opportunity for some of you in a loveless sham of a heterosexual marriage (i.e., Jay McBee) to come out and try to find the same-sex man or woman of your dreams.

Frankly, why anyone would want to be married is beyond me.  (My three ex-wives wanted to be married to me so they could all get rich in the divorce… gold digging bitches.)  But at Manka Bros., everyone is at least given that right.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company