Coriolanus With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen What? Not 100% CGI? No robot alien things? Am I high (yes, I am)? Then soldiers. My brain screams – You are within the stuck times of “Battle: Los Angeles!” The worst of fates that mine could be……
The Iron Lady With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen WTF?!? My mind is a stream of mud. Confusion. Weed. Not reading the press kit. “The Iron Lady” is not a sequel to “The Iron Giant”. The excitement made my area hurt. Meryl Streep vs. Vin…
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Sweden. Bastards. While us, the Finns, fought Soviet Russia the Swedes ate butter, fish, and those damn crap meatballs. In same war (World War II, retards) we fight and fight. Sweden? Neutral (sissy…
Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Okay, Hollywood, I give. It is FUN to see great literary figure turned into 19th century James Bond. There must always be explosions. CGI must be in every movie ever made. See, Hollywood?…
New Year’s Eve With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen New Year’s Eve. Really? A painless romantic comedy with 20 big stars about 10 different stories twisted together with a background in New York (New York). Beyond the site (New York, dumb ass), time is the…
The Descendants With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen I begged for a savior. A savior from the sameness of the same that is bad. A savior from having to drink “Twilight” out of my brain thoughts until I had beach ball liver and bloody stool….
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen First – the coming of the clean. Yes. I’m jealous. Robert Pattinson has the hair of a god. A messy hipster god, but god hair is god hair. I want some. Now…
“The Immortals” With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen “The Immortals” is crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. That is my review. But the editor says I must write more words than “crap.” O.K. – it is also turd sandwich in… 3D! Story? We have in…
Tower Heist With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen I don’t understand. My mind is flowing with the fire. Kyrle, I want to see the revels inside the “Anonymous”. Or, to make me give a dolphin smile, “Harold and Kumar’s 3D Christmas” with the pot and…
Puss In Boots With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen So “Shrek” is released on us, at one time. Then more and more “Shreks” for the counting. I was sickened… until the “Shrek” comes along and I became gay for a cat. This cat I love…
The Three Musketeers With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen No! NO!!! Bad Hollywood! Bad! It is no longer summer. You cannot, now in the fall, return like a dog to your own vomit. This movie was made before – and once good! Oliver Reed, Michael…
I normally attack theater from the review flank. I use my insight to take you, the possible audience member, into the “reality” of what a theatrical event may be like – without you having to actually be part of the reality. I try to express…
Footloose With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen There was many times ago an original idea in Hollywood. D.W. Griffith was that guy who had it. Since then, maybe Blake Edwards or Eli Roth. Now we can go to a cinema knowing that we will see…
An Apology: I was away in Finland for a tragic family. My own. To say, without too much, a cousin lost a fight with a cod boat. He was torn. But unlike The Humpty Egg, there was no putting him back from pieces. Plus, there…
“Warrior” With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Things are getting heavy. Summer is at an almost end. If not for 3D Sharks, I would be singing the award movie song – like internet Karaoke. Not just yet! Ass kicking flies from the screen – and…