Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Okay, Hollywood, I give. It is FUN to see great literary figure turned into 19th century James Bond. There must always be explosions. CGI must be in every movie ever made. See, Hollywood?…
New Year’s Eve With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen New Year’s Eve. Really? A painless romantic comedy with 20 big stars about 10 different stories twisted together with a background in New York (New York). Beyond the site (New York, dumb ass), time is the…
The Descendants With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen I begged for a savior. A savior from the sameness of the same that is bad. A savior from having to drink “Twilight” out of my brain thoughts until I had beach ball liver and bloody stool….
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen First – the coming of the clean. Yes. I’m jealous. Robert Pattinson has the hair of a god. A messy hipster god, but god hair is god hair. I want some. Now…
“The Immortals” With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen “The Immortals” is crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. That is my review. But the editor says I must write more words than “crap.” O.K. – it is also turd sandwich in… 3D! Story? We have in…
Tower Heist With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen I don’t understand. My mind is flowing with the fire. Kyrle, I want to see the revels inside the “Anonymous”. Or, to make me give a dolphin smile, “Harold and Kumar’s 3D Christmas” with the pot and…
Puss In Boots With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen So “Shrek” is released on us, at one time. Then more and more “Shreks” for the counting. I was sickened… until the “Shrek” comes along and I became gay for a cat. This cat I love…
The Three Musketeers With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen No! NO!!! Bad Hollywood! Bad! It is no longer summer. You cannot, now in the fall, return like a dog to your own vomit. This movie was made before – and once good! Oliver Reed, Michael…
Footloose With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen There was many times ago an original idea in Hollywood. D.W. Griffith was that guy who had it. Since then, maybe Blake Edwards or Eli Roth. Now we can go to a cinema knowing that we will see…
“Warrior” With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Things are getting heavy. Summer is at an almost end. If not for 3D Sharks, I would be singing the award movie song – like internet Karaoke. Not just yet! Ass kicking flies from the screen – and…
“Contagion” – Catch It! With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Boy, the future becomes to suck more and more. Even sucking in the now time happens in “Contagion”. It is not a cinema suck – but a suck as to the matters at hand. Or…
“Shark Night 3D” With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen 3D is the suck. Roger Ebert knows. You (the smart “you” people) know. I know. But, holy crap, it is “Shark Night 3D”! Confession – I’ve been saving a fat green bud all summer for this…
“Colombiana” With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen 1992. Colombia (cocaine, not District of). The little nine-year Cataleya witnessed the murder of her parents. She manages to escape the slaughter with difficulty and takes refuge in the United States with Emilio, her mobster uncle. (My mobster…
“The Help” With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen “The Help” is funny and touching (right in the heart chamber) adaptation of the novel of the same title published in 2009 by Kathryn Stockett. How come it took so long to hang the book on the…
The Smurfs With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen What the Smurf?!? Another Smurfing CGI poopfest of the summer of pooping Smurfed-up films? The movie studios have Smurfed us again – right up the Smurfhole. If animated characters take on real actors, then alarm bells should…