Manka Bros. Bets The Farm On “Hey Diddle Diddle”

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanGood morning.

Following an all night film strategy brainstorming session, I am pleased to announce Manka Bros. has committed to produce a $250 million reimagining of the classic children’s fairy tale “Hey Diddle Diddle”.

This is a mighty big bet for the studio and a decision I don’t make lightly.

And while it seems that every studio in town is doing a fairy tale remake right now (Red Riding Hood and Jack the Giant Killer at Warners, Hansel & Gretel at Paramount and there are THREE Snow White movies in various stages of development, etc.), I think we have hit on a concept that will definitely help “Hey Diddle Diddle” break through the clutter.

In the story’s current form, you have a Cat playing a Fiddle, a Cow jumping over the Moon, a Dog laughing and Dish running away with a Spoon… silly stuff that doesn’t translate to a long form feature film – much less the elements of a movie anyone over four would want to see.

Problem solved.

We’re going to take the same classic characters and set the story in a Soviet gulag work camp in the 1930s.  This will allow us to dig deep into the psyches of these characters.

What makes the cow jump over the moon?  Freedom.

Why does the dish run away with the spoon?  Forbidden love.

Why is the cat playing the fiddle?  Because Stalin likes music and if the cat doesn’t play, he dies.

Stuff like that.  Very powerful.

And while we don’t have a screenwriter, director or cast set, we do have a release date:  July 4, 2012.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Manka Bros. Triathlon Team Finishes Last… Again

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Apple iPad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Avatar, Bacara, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bryan Lourd, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Ezra Kucharz, Fortune's 40 under 40, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Jack Nicholson, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Keynote address, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, media analyst, Michael Eisner, Michael Jackson, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, Nautica Malibu Triathlon, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Pyramid Lake, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club, Roman Polanski, Ryan Seacrest, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Southern Fried Rock, Steve Jobs, Super Bowl 44, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, twitter, Victor KaufmanUnbe-fucking-lievable!

If I didn’t know better, I would think that my employees only live to embarrass me.

I was just informed that the Manka Bros. Triathlon Team (led by the freakishly pathetic Jay McBee – nice swim trunks, Jay) finished last at this year’s Nautica Malibu Triathlon.

Last for the fifth straight year!

The Nautica Malibu Triathlon is an annual competition also known as the Entertainment Industry Challenge (EIC) and pits all the major studios (Manka Bros., Warner Bros., Disney, Sony, NBC Universal, Paramount, Fox, etc.) against one another.

Each year I think, well, if we can’t beat them at the box office or on television or in music sales or in theme park attendance or in publishing… we can beat them in a triathlon.

Boy, am I fucking stupid.

Manka Bros. has become a joke.  We are the flabbiest and most out of shape of all the studios.  Freaking embarrassing.

Maybe we need to start a morning calisthenics program much like they do every year at the Herb Allen Sun Valley Retreat.

I don’t know what it’s going to take, but as a person who owns a home in Malibu, I never want to see pictures of people like this on that beach ever again!

And that includes you, too, David Geffen!

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

The Future Is Last Year – CES 2011 Keynote – Khan Manka, Jr.

Accel Partners, Alan Eustace, Allen & Company retreat, Allen Blue, Ann Mather, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Arvind Rajan, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Bret Taylor, Carol Bartz, CES 2011, Chamath Palihapitiya, Charlie Rose, Chris Hughes, Christopher Cox, Cory Booker, Dan Rose, David Drummond, David Ebersman, David Fischer, David Henke, David Kirkpatrick, David Sze, Deep Nishar, DumbDumb, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Electus, Ellen Levy, Elliot Schrage, Emilie Choi, Eric Schmidt, Erika Rottenberg, Erin Burnett, Gerald Levin, Gina Bianchini, Greylock Partners, Harvey Weinstein, HBO, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jean-Luc Vaillant, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jill Kennedy, Jim Breyer, Joanna Shields, John Doerr, John Donahue, John Hennessy, Jon Miller, Jonathan Heiliger, Jonathan Rosenberg, Justin Aselage, Katrina Hau, Ken Auletta, Kevin Eyres, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Li Ka-shing, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Lori Goler, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Cuban, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Matt Cohler, Mike Bloomberg, Mike Gamson, Mike Murphy, Mike Schroepfer, MySpace, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Carlson, Nikesh Arora, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Patrick Crane, Patrick Pichette, Paul Buchheit, Paul Madera, Paul Otellini, Peter Chernin, Peter Thiel, Phillippe Dauman, Ram Shriram, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robby Kwok, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Shirley Tilghman, Shona Brown, Steve Cadigan, Steve Jobs, Steve Patrizi, Steve Sordello, Sumner Redstone, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Ted Ullyot, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tony DiSanto, Toy Story 3, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, Warren Lieberfarb, World's Largest Media CompanyGood morning.

First off, to all of my friends who are badly hungover this morning – I’m told the Circus Circus Buffet will clean out your system pretty well.

And to all my friends who are still drunk from last night [there are some claps and hoots from the audience] – well done – but pace yourselves, gentlemen and ladies, there are three more drunken days yet to go.

Especially you, Bob Iger[Bob Iger, in the front row, howls like a wolf.]

Last night, we were at Caesar’s drinking on Cleopatra’s Barge and Bob said he was going to close the place down.  I had to remind him it was a casino in Vegas and they don’t close!

Anyway, let’s get started.

How about a joke?  What do you call someone who was a nerd in high school but went on to makes billions in technology and basically changed the way we live our lives?  A nerd.

I’m not here today as an ally to the consumer electronics industry.  Frankly, you can all F yourselves.  I’m here to say to all you geeks and computer dorks who think you can tell Hollywood how to entertain the world that today HOLLYWOOD FIGHTS BACK!

I don’t give a shit about your new phone.  I don’t give a shit about the “digital cloud” you built to hold all my media files – if you guys really want to be useful, develop a killer App that will clean and organize my garage.  And I don’t give a shit about being able to perfectly simulate a Vietnam jungle battle in my family room.

Seriously, why do I need a new phone and new television every fucking year?

When I was a growing up in the 1960s we had one innovation – color television.  That lasted us 20 years until we had a VCR that could play tapes of movies.  That lasted us 20 years until we had DVD players that could play DVDs of movies.

If you freakin’ tech idiots would have left well and good alone, we Hollywood studios would still be raking in billions from DVD sales and my friend Sumner Redstone wouldn’t have to sell his blood and plasma just to pay the rent.  That’s a joke, he actually has other people sell their blood and plasma to pay his rent.

Accel Partners, Alan Eustace, Allen & Company retreat, Allen Blue, Ann Mather, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Arvind Rajan, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Bret Taylor, Carol Bartz, CES 2011, Chamath Palihapitiya, Charlie Rose, Chris Hughes, Christopher Cox, Cory Booker, Dan Rose, David Drummond, David Ebersman, David Fischer, David Henke, David Kirkpatrick, David Sze, Deep Nishar, DumbDumb, Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin, Electus, Ellen Levy, Elliot Schrage, Emilie Choi, Eric Schmidt, Erika Rottenberg, Erin Burnett, Gerald Levin, Gina Bianchini, Greylock Partners, Harvey Weinstein, HBO, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jean-Luc Vaillant, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jill Kennedy, Jim Breyer, Joanna Shields, John Doerr, John Donahue, John Hennessy, Jon Miller, Jonathan Heiliger, Jonathan Rosenberg, Justin Aselage, Katrina Hau, Ken Auletta, Kevin Eyres, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Li Ka-shing, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Lori Goler, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Cuban, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Matt Cohler, Mike Bloomberg, Mike Gamson, Mike Murphy, Mike Schroepfer, MySpace, Niall FitzGerald, Nicolas Carlson, Nikesh Arora, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Patrick Crane, Patrick Pichette, Paul Buchheit, Paul Madera, Paul Otellini, Peter Chernin, Peter Thiel, Phillippe Dauman, Ram Shriram, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robby Kwok, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Shirley Tilghman, Shona Brown, Steve Cadigan, Steve Jobs, Steve Patrizi, Steve Sordello, Sumner Redstone, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Ted Ullyot, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tony DiSanto, Toy Story 3, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, Warren Lieberfarb, World's Largest Media CompanySo today, on behalf of Manka Bros.The World’s Largest Media Company – and my studio mogul brethren, I ask the consumer electronics industry to STOP THE INNOVATION.

Stop making my toaster check the traffic before I leave home.

Stop telling the world which bars and prostitutes I have visited.

Stop having these pointless trade shows that only exist so that media executives can act like they’re working but are actually just partying in Vegas [many ‘boos’ from the crowd].

Imagine the turnout CES would have if it were held in Akron every year.

Stop everything you’re doing and let us premium content creators go back to doing what we do best –  entertaining the world.

Don’t you morons understand we just want to make movies and television shows?  It’s killing us to constantly spend our time reconfiguring formats to fit the new phone in our hand or the chip in the back of our brains.

We just want it to be 2003 again. So either join us or get the fuck out of our way because we are going backwards and will do everything it takes to do things the way we have always done them.  Capisce?

Google, Microsoft and Facebook are not the studios of the future.  Audiences can only watch so many movies about computer nerds who save the world and date robot women.

Questions?

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

World’s Largest Media Companies – 2010

Abby Barba, Ada Guerin, Alex Ben Block, Andrew Wallenstein, Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Borys Kit, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Carl DiOrio, Chadwick Ho, Charley Daniels, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, David Morgan, Deborah Young, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Elizabeth Guider, Emily Johnson, Eric Feng, Eric Mika, Erik Pedersen, Etan Vlessing, Fabio Periera, Fancast, Georg Szalai, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Gregg Kilday, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jackie Vuong, James Hibberd, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jay A. Fernandez, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jenna Bordelon, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Karen Nicoletti, Kenneth Bacon, Kevin Cassidy, Khan Manka, Kimberly Nordyke, Kirk Honeycutt, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Lesley Goldberg, Manka Bros., Matthew Belloni, Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, Mike Barnes, Mimi Turner, NBC Universal, Nellie Andreeva, New York Times, News Corp., Noela Hueso, OnMedea, Patrick Frater, Paul Bond, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralf Ludemann, Ralph Roberts, Ray Bennett, Robert Iger, Roger Friedman, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Stephen Galloway, Steve Case, Steven Zeitchik, Stuart Kemp, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, The Hollywood Reporter, Time Warner, Todd Cunningham, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media Company

Abby Barba, Ada Guerin, Alex Ben Block, Andrew Wallenstein, Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Borys Kit, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Carl DiOrio, Chadwick Ho, Charley Daniels, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, David Morgan, Deborah Young, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Elizabeth Guider, Emily Johnson, Eric Feng, Eric Mika, Erik Pedersen, Etan Vlessing, Fabio Periera, Fancast, Georg Szalai, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Gregg Kilday, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jackie Vuong, James Hibberd, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jay A. Fernandez, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jenna Bordelon, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Karen Nicoletti, Kenneth Bacon, Kevin Cassidy, Khan Manka, Kimberly Nordyke, Kirk Honeycutt, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Lesley Goldberg, Manka Bros., Matthew Belloni, Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, Mike Barnes, Mimi Turner, NBC Universal, Nellie Andreeva, New York Times, News Corp., Noela Hueso, OnMedea, Patrick Frater, Paul Bond, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralf Ludemann, Ralph Roberts, Ray Bennett, Robert Iger, Roger Friedman, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Stephen Galloway, Steve Case, Steven Zeitchik, Stuart Kemp, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, The Hollywood Reporter, Time Warner, Todd Cunningham, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media CompanyGood morning.

The brain trust of The Hollywood Reporter has come out with what they say will be the World’s Largest Media Companies after the Comcast NBC Universal deal goes through.  BULLSHIT, I SAY!

THR
has had it in for me ever since I threatened to buy them and shut them down after a scathing and hurtful review of the Manka Bros. film “Freak Accident” appeared in their ‘paper’ a couple of years ago.  So I’m not totally surprised they left Manka Bros. off their chart.  But I am, frankly, shocked that they would throw truth out the window so carelessly over a personal vendetta.  (Maybe that’s naive of me – especially in this town.)

I suppose this is the price I pay for not buying those bullshit, complete waste of money “For Your Consideration” ads.

Fine, Eric Mika (Publisher – The Hollywood Reporter).  You live by your ethical standards and I’ll live by mine.

Abby Barba, Ada Guerin, Alex Ben Block, Andrew Wallenstein, Andy Forssell, Angela Bromstad, AOL Time Warner, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Block, Ava Seave, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Daly, Bob Iger, Borys Kit, Brian Roberts, Bruce C. Greenwald, Carl DiOrio, Chadwick Ho, Charley Daniels, Comcast, David Carr, David Cohen, David Morgan, Deborah Young, Disney, Dr. Judith Rodin, DreamWorks, Edward Breen, Elizabeth Guider, Emily Johnson, Eric Feng, Eric Mika, Erik Pedersen, Etan Vlessing, Fabio Periera, Fancast, Georg Szalai, Gerald Hassell, Gerry Levin, Gregg Kilday, Hulu, IAC, J. Michael Cook, Jace Hall, Jackie Vuong, James Hibberd, Jason Hall, Jason Kilar, Jay A. Fernandez, Jean-Marie Messier, Jean-Paul Colaco, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Katzenberg, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Honickman, Jeffrey Immelt, Jenna Bordelon, Jill Kennedy, Joe Collins, Johannes Larcher, Jonathan A. Knee, Julian Brodsky, Karen Nicoletti, Kenneth Bacon, Kevin Cassidy, Khan Manka, Kimberly Nordyke, Kirk Honeycutt, Lawrence Salva, Les Moonves, Lesley Goldberg, Manka Bros., Matthew Belloni, Michael Angelakis, Michael Eisner, Michael Sovern, Mike Barnes, Mimi Turner, NBC Universal, Nellie Andreeva, New York Times, News Corp., Noela Hueso, OnMedea, Patrick Frater, Paul Bond, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Ralf Ludemann, Ralph Roberts, Ray Bennett, Robert Iger, Roger Friedman, Rupert Murdoch, S. Decker Anstrom, Sheldon M. Bonovitz, Stephen Burke, Stephen Galloway, Steve Case, Steven Zeitchik, Stuart Kemp, Sumner Redstone, Ted Turner, Terry Semel, The Curse of the Mogul, The Hollywood Reporter, Time Warner, Todd Cunningham, Tom Fuelling, Viacom, World's Largest Media Company

The chart shown on this page (and here), which my senior executive team at Manka Bros. put together over the weekend, clearly shows the correct ranking of World’s Largest Media Companies.

This chart was additionally reviewed by several leading independent external auditors in New York, Los Angeles, Hong Kong and Instanbul and is the most current and accurate World’s Largest Media Company chart available.

And… as you can see by the size of the dark blue bar in the chart, MANKA BROS. REMAINS THE WORLD’S LARGEST MEDIA COMPANY!

Please reflect this fact in any future reporting you do on this subject.  Failure to report the truth may cost you dearly.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Yemen Theme Park – November Update

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Ali Abdullah Saleh, Angela Bromstad, Apple iPad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Avatar, Bacara, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bryan Lourd, Craig Smith, David Rosenblatt, Disney, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Ezra Kucharz, Fortune's 40 under 40, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Jack Nicholson, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Jordan, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kanye West, Kara Swisher, Keynote address, Khan Manka, King Abdulah, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Manka Fun Parks, Mark Stein, media analyst, Michael Eisner, Michael Jackson, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Pyramid Lake, Rahm Emanuel, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club, Roman Polanski, Ryan Seacrest, Saana Nights Hotel, San'a, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Slivovitz, Southern Fried Rock, Steve Jobs, Sumner Redstone, Super Bowl 44, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, Theme Parks, thewrap.com, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, twitter, Universal Studios, Vicky Adler-Modry, Victor Kaufman, Warner Bros., Yemen

Good morning.

Because of the recent news that mail bombs were sent from Yemen in an attempt to blow up two Chicago-area synagogues, several people have inquired about Manka Bros.’ plans to build a billion dollar Manka Fun Park in Yemen.

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Ali Abdullah Saleh, Angela Bromstad, Apple iPad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Avatar, Bacara, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bryan Lourd, Craig Smith, David Rosenblatt, Disney, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Ezra Kucharz, Fortune's 40 under 40, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Jack Nicholson, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Jordan, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kanye West, Kara Swisher, Keynote address, Khan Manka, King Abdulah, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Manka Fun Parks, Mark Stein, media analyst, Michael Eisner, Michael Jackson, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Pyramid Lake, Rahm Emanuel, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club, Roman Polanski, Ryan Seacrest, Saana Nights Hotel, San'a, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Slivovitz, Southern Fried Rock, Steve Jobs, Sumner Redstone, Super Bowl 44, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, Theme Parks, thewrap.com, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, twitter, Universal Studios, Vicky Adler-Modry, Victor Kaufman, Warner Bros., YemenAfter much thought and despite the imploring of other studio moguls, I have made my decision:  THE THEME PARK CONSTRUCTION WILL CONTINUE.

Just because there are a few terrorists trying to blow up everything in the United States doesn’t mean that the rest of the people of Yemen don’t deserve roller coasters and the All-New Broadway Re-Zoo starring Joey Levitch!

While it has been a long slog through the bureaucratic muck and construction of the park has been slow due to increased terror threats, political turmoil and badly handled wire transfers, things are moving along.

Because of all those hurdles, I thought the opening would have to be pushed back a few months (or years), but I was reassured yesterday by the Yemeni leader Ali Abdullah Saleh that since labor costs in that country are non-existent and there are no overtime rules (are you listening America?), the scheduled opening will easily be met.

That’s the beauty of a dictatorship!

This is great news for Manka Bros. because Yemen is a completely untapped market for Western-style entertainment.  Bob Iger at Disney has been too busy concentrating on China to realize where the real money is.  Loser.  We will have the Yemen market to ourselves.

Now if we can only get a fucking movie that makes money we’ll really be on a roll.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Manka Bros. Would Like To Offer Jeff Zucker A Job

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Bradley, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Brian Grazer, Brian Roberts, Candice Bergen, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chase Carey, Chris Silbermann, Cory Booker, Diane Von Furstenberg, Don Graham, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Eisner, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, George Bodenheimer, Gina Bianchini, Gordon Crawford, Haim Saban, Hank Vigil, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Berg, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jim Berkus, Jim Gianopulos, Jim Robinson, John Donahue, Jon Miller, Jonathan Dolgen, Ken Auletta, Ken Chenault, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Larry Page, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Michael Ovitz, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Owen Van Natta, Patt Morrison, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Rachael Ray, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robbie Bach, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tim Armstrong, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tom Glocer, Tom Rothman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Bradley, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Brian Grazer, Brian Roberts, Candice Bergen, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chase Carey, Chris Silbermann, Cory Booker, Diane Von Furstenberg, Don Graham, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Eisner, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, George Bodenheimer, Gina Bianchini, Gordon Crawford, Haim Saban, Hank Vigil, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Berg, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jim Berkus, Jim Gianopulos, Jim Robinson, John Donahue, Jon Miller, Jonathan Dolgen, Ken Auletta, Ken Chenault, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Larry Page, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Michael Ovitz, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Owen Van Natta, Patt Morrison, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Rachael Ray, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robbie Bach, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tim Armstrong, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tom Glocer, Tom Rothman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media CompanyI have sold my Comcast stock.

Frankly, I am stunned at today’s announcement that Jeff Zucker has been fired by Steve Burke at ComcastLittle Stevie Burke (who was a Manka Bros. intern years ago in our Publishing Group) has some balls on him.  He’s not even Jeff Zucker’s boss yet and he pulled the trigger on the firing.

My great old friend Brian Roberts doesn’t know what a treasure he has lost today.  It’s a crazy world when someone like Jeff Zucker doesn’t have a media empire to run.  I would call Brian on Jeff’s behalf to urge him to overrule Steve Burke, but I’m just too busy.

Well, JZ, even though Comcast Universal (which will still be smaller than Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company) doesn’t have a place for you after the merger, Manka Bros. DOES have a place for you.  I would like to offer you a job anywhere you want in the organization.  Check our Senior Management roster and pick the job you would like.

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bill Bradley, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Brian Grazer, Brian Roberts, Candice Bergen, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Chase Carey, Chris Silbermann, Cory Booker, Diane Von Furstenberg, Don Graham, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Eisner, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, George Bodenheimer, Gina Bianchini, Gordon Crawford, Haim Saban, Hank Vigil, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Berg, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Jim Berkus, Jim Gianopulos, Jim Robinson, John Donahue, Jon Miller, Jonathan Dolgen, Ken Auletta, Ken Chenault, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Larry Page, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Michael Ovitz, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Owen Van Natta, Patt Morrison, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Rachael Ray, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robbie Bach, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tim Armstrong, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Tom Glocer, Tom Rothman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media CompanyManka Bros. has so underperformed this year, nearly every job is up for grabs (with the exception of Lloyd Grohl).  Just give me a 24 hour heads up and I’ll fire whomever you wish to replace.

Though based on your track record, personally, I would prefer you stayed away from our television group – but, really, beggars can’t be choosers, right?

I know you’re hurting right now and probably inconsolable and crying but just remember all the good times we’ve had from Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Retreat, to the lobster boil with Peter Chernin – lots of great times.

The party would continue and never stop if you joined our organization.  The whole thing just breaks my heart and I only wish to God Manka Bros. would have acquired NBC Universal when we had the chance just so that you would still have a job.

I know everyone thinks you’re an asshole (welcome to the club!) but your accomplishments at NBC cannot be ignored – from the hiring of Ben Silverman to the way you handled the Jay Leno/Conan situationNBC is in great shape and will only get stronger after you leave.  You can hold your head up!

So, think about it.  Take a couple of years, climb a mountain, backpack around Europe.  Hopefully, at least, GE will cash out your vacation time.  If not, and you need a low interest loan until you get back on your feet, just let me know.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company