Bryan Lourd – Page 2

December 18, 2012December 23, 2012

2013: Endgame For Moguls

Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Bezos, Tim Cook, Cory Booker, Michael Bloomberg, Joel Klein, Lachlan Murdoch, James Murdoch, Bobby Kotick, Marc Andreessen, Peter Thiel, Dick Costolo, Ross Levinsoh, Paul Sagan, Leslie Moonves, Tim Armstrong, Glenn Britt, Donald Graham, Kazuo Hirai, Howard Stringer, Jae-Yong Lee, Bryan Lourd, Ron Meyer, Brad Grey, Edmund Lee, Anthony Palazzo, John Malone, Chris Silbermann, Jim Berkus, Roger Goodell, David Stern, Chris Christie, Julius Genachowski, Erin Burnett, Charlie Rose, Becky Quick, Todd Davidson, Reed Hastings, Terry Semel, Jerry Yang, Ken Allen, Laurene Powell Jobs, Jean-Bernard Levy, Lucian Grainge, Jonathan Boyar, Mark Pincus, Michael Lynton, Mandy Tavakol, Mario Monti, Dave DeVoe, John Martin, Brian Roberts, David Zaslav, Mel Karmazin, Carol Bartz, Scott Thompson, Jason Kilar, King Abdullah II, Queen Rania, Queen Noor, #sv12, #Sunvalley2012, #allenco, Robert Johnson, Anne Sweeney, Brian Grazer, Michael Ovitz, Hiroshi Mikitani, Owen Van Natta, Don Mattrick

Old Hollywood just got another year older and closer to death.

In fact, it’s getting harder and harder for Old Hollywood to get out of bed in the morning.

Food doesn’t taste as good. Hangovers are a daily occurrence.

In short, Old Hollywood is not well.

And with each passing year, as movie studios and broadcast networks become increasingly irrelevant, my thoughts are about real estate.

What is going to happen to all those soundstages and sprawling campuses scattered around Los Angeles and the world when no one needs them anymore?

Soundstages built in the early 20th century by visionaries from Poland, Hungary, New York and Kansas City.

Clearly they won’t be used as much in the future as production costs for high quality content continue to drop and new visionary kids from everywhere else in the world are able to compete head-to-head with the best Hollywood writers and directors.

Perhaps they will be torn down and apartments built. But apartments in those areas are for young writers and actors who move to L.A. to chase that Hollywood dream.

They don’t have to move here anymore.

Perhaps one studio will be turned into a museum of what Hollywood used to look like.

It’s a lot of land, man, and the shopping mall business isn’t so good these days either.

It’s going to be a real problem one day.

As I said earlier this year, YouTube’s Original Content Strategy Is Working and that should put every remaining media mogul on high alert.

The 1975 when millions of families crowded the television on a SATURDAY NIGHT to watch one of the three networks is over.

Now, in all likelihood, a family of five is watching or doing five different things on a Saturday night (and the rest of the week for that matter).

And this has been true for a few years.

In 2013, another profound and symbolic pillar will crumble in the epic story of the Decline and Fall of the Hollywood Empire.

The Mogul.

2013 will see most of the remaining media moguls pathetically fade away from relevance with little fanfare. And that’s sad.

WHO IS LEAVING?

1. Sumner Redstone – Many would say he has already left (despite his attempt to look youthful with that shocking sprayed on orange hair). Sumner has desperately clung to power just as he clung to the side of the hotel ledge years ago to survive a fire. Sumner will be the first to leave in 2013 either by death or senility (though many would argue he has been dead and senile for the past 25 years).

2. Rupert Murdoch – Enough with this guy and his phone tapping and continued interest in buying newspapers. He’s done. There is an outside chance the family empire could continue if Rupert appointed his daughter Elisabeth to the top job (I would buy the stock if that happened). But his continue insistence on giving his idiot sons top jobs will, no doubt, destroy all that he spent his entire life building.

3. Barry Diller – Barry Diller is just tired of it all. Does anyone really think he is excited about owning Ben Silverman’s ridiculous company or CollegeHumor or The Daily Beast or Zwinky or Sports Pickle? Sail away, Barry. The media world no longer needs you. You had a good run. Now go get drunk.

4. Jeffrey Katzenberg – The last mogul standing of DreamWorks SKG (one of the last valiant attempts made to build a true media empire like the old days), Katzenberg will sell DreamWorks Animation for a few billion less than he would have hoped and leave the Hollywood scene. He will go on to become equally annoying in the Art Collection scene.

CLINGING TO POWER

1. The Weinstein Brothers (Harvey and Bob) – Despite several high profile movies (Silver Linings Playbook, The Master, Django Unchained) that will probably win quite a few awards this season, the Weinsteins are working with a business model from 1985. Attempted diversification into TV, publishing and interactive nearly cost them everything a few years ago. What they know is how to buy, market and get Awards for small to medium sized movies. And we know where that business is headed.

2. Ryan Kavanaugh – Calling him a mogul is generous (to say the least). Attempted mogul more like it. For some reason people keep giving him money. Hopefully, that stops soon and he is forced to land his helicopter not in Beverly Hills but somewhere out in Palmdale where he can live out his existence with a few other characters from “Day of the Locust.”

WHO IS STAYING?

Khan Manka, Jr. – Despite horrible performances year-over-year in both film and television (and publishing and music, etc.), Khan Manka, Jr. remains firmly at the top of the world’s largest media company. Even though he publicly states how much he hates the job and would rather be at his house in the Seychelles, he continues to stay year-after-year and I don’t see that changing anytime in the near or far future.

2. Thomas Tull (Legendary) – Even though Legendary is more of a high-end financing and production outfit than a media empire, Tull is eyeing much larger things and has the money to do it. How far he actually takes the media empire concept is the question. Is Legendary a new DreamWorks or actually something that will be successful?

3. Hed family of Rovio (Angry Birds) is the closest thing we have these days to a new generation media mogul (and I wish Raj, Mikael and Niklas Hed nothing but the best. DON’T SELL – BUILD!). Like Walt Disney and George Lucas before them, the Heds have a real chance to build an empire from a single group of characters. Their passion and ambition is infectious and they see enormous potential while others laugh in their face. The perfect scenario for global conquest.

—————–

So, 2013, endgame for moguls.

The big ones will fall.

Some smaller ones may rise (on a lower scale).

It will never be the same.

Where is Ted Turner when you really need him?

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – John Malone and Brian Roberts may be considered moguls in today’s terms. I just find them too boring to write about.

August 5, 2011August 5, 2011

Wall Street Reminder: Nobody Knows Anything

OK – so the U.S. got downgraded by S&P (AA+) for the first time in its history. Whatever. It’s all just a game anyway.

Most talking heads throughout the weekend will say Monday will be a bloodbath on Wall Street and that many investors will be clamoring to yank out their cash.

But I must remind anyone who has money in the market (me!), out of the market and all those on the fence that “nobody knows anything.”

This phrase, coined by William Goldman in “Adventures In The Screen Trade” (worth a read even for non-screenwriters), is absolutely true in almost all industries and in almost all cases where someone is trying to predict the future.

In the movie business, the phrase was basically referring to the major studios’ inability to know what movies would work at the box office and what movies would fail. As it turns out, with all the historical data at our fingertips… nobody knows anything.

And the same goes for Wall Street:

Meredith Whitney, hotsy-totsy Queen of the Double-Dip, has no clue where the markets are going (though she seems to be praying for a downturn – probably more out of concern for her reputation than for the country).

That whack job Ray Dalio – founder of Bridgewater Associates (subject of a brilliant piece by John Cassidy in the New Yorker) – has no clue where the markets are going (though, to be fair, the whack job has been more successful than most in guessing lately).

The government, your parents, your children, Warren Buffett, CNBC, Fox News, Bloomberg, TechCrunch, your friends on social networks – nobody knows anything.

If they did, then Wednesday night I would have received a text or seen a tweet or a Facebook status update that said “The Dow will fall 512 points tomorrow – you may want to make a couple of portfolio moves.”

I didn’t get that message from any of those people who “know so much”. Just like I won’t get any correct message this weekend about what will happen on Monday. Because nobody knows anything about what will happen on Monday!

So this weekend, as we all think about our personal finances, don’t make knee-jerk decisions based on something someone says on television or an internet blog.

This may sound overly simplistic, but just go with your gut and calm the freak down. There are a lot great healthy American companies out there and they deserve your confidence.

But, then again, I don’t know anything either – and I certainly don’t know how “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” is going to perform this weekend – perhaps $35 million, perhaps $65 million. It’s a crap shoot.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

July 21, 2011July 21, 2011

Don’t Blame Superman

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Amanda Seyfried, Andrew Chang, Angela Bromstad, Anil Ambani, Ann Daly, Anne Globe, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Beastly, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Brothers Grimm, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Clark Hallren, Comic-Con, Craig Ring, Craig Smith, Dan Satterthwaite, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Dreamworks Animation, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Gemma Arterton, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Guillermo Del Toro, Hans Woolley, Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters, Harry Brittenham, Harry Sloan, Heather O'Conner, Hey Diddle Diddle, Holly Bario, Jack the Giant Killer, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Small, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jeremy Renner, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John Batter, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Judson Green, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lew Coleman, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Sourian, Mark Stein, Melody Hobson, Michael Eisner, Michael J. Montgomery, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nathan Myhrvold, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Allen, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Pinnochio, Red Riding Hood, Reliance ADA Group, Rich Sullivan, Richard F. Zannino, Richard Sherman, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Roger Enrico, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Snow White and the Seven, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Strauss Zelnick, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas Freston, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman, Walt Disney

Today, I read an analyst report written by Vasily Karasyov of Susquehanna Financial Group titled “The Death of Superheroes”.

Salacious title? Certainly.

A title that would get the attention of every media executive around the world? Absolutely.

A title that’s total bullshit? Definitely.

According to this report, over the past ten years movie studios have plucked 16 superheroes (or super groups) from the obscurity of the basements of geeks and put them smack dab in the global spotlight for everyone to see.

Some have been really good, made lots of money and spawned sequels, rebirths and regurgitations (e.g., “Spider-Man”, “Batman”, “Iron Man”, “X-Men”).

Others were shit and lost a lot of money (basically the rest of them).

For the most part, that’s the way it’s supposed to work. Good = success. Bad = no success.

Over that same time, about 2,000 other movies were released to varying degrees of success. These included huge non-comic book movies like “Harry Potter”, “Lord of the Rings”, “Pirates of the Caribbean”, “The Hangover”, and, sure, even Woody Allen’s biggest hit ever “Midnight In Paris”.

So while it seems every other movie that comes out is a comic book movie, nothing could be further from the truth. But that’s not the point I want to make.

Here’s the point: People are not tired of Superheroes. You cannot blame the superhero for the failure of corporate mortals.

If every comic book/superhero movie were unbelievably great, audiences would flock to them and they would all be huge hits.

Seriously, if the studios would have put out 16 awesome, well-made, true to the source comic book movies, they would have had, guaranteed, 16 big hit, profitable movies.

But this didn’t happen and it never will happen. Why? Because movie studios always try to make good movies. Regardless of what some people think, the executives at movie studios are not trying to suck.

Every movie that is made (with all those millions of dollars at stake) start off with a single dream – to be really good and to make money (maybe not in that order). Everyone, at every level, works very hard to make these films as good as humanly possible.

But somewhere along the chain – from concept to the day of release – something happens to make them suck.

And in most cases, lots of things happen to make them suck.

The movie-making process is subjective. One person’s gold is another person’s shit.

What Hollywood IS GUILTY OF is genre rape.

Once one high-concept or genre film hits it really big (i.e., “Alice In Wonderland”) suddenly every studio in town needs to have that high-concept or genre type film in the pipeline ASAP.

Because of “Alice In Wonderland”, over the past year every studio had to have as many fairy tale scripts as they get their hands on including THREE FREAKIN’ “SNOW WHITES”!

My God, even Manka Bros. – my studio – bought the rights to “Hey Diddle Diddle” and plans to spend well over $150 million to produce something we know will fail. Sorry, boss.

Go down any list of genre and you’ll see one movie that started the entire feeding frenzy. “Scream” spawned hundreds of crappy horror movies. “Harry Potter” got everyone out there trying to find the next great children’s fantasy series. Vampires, zombies… it’s just a case of mass brainlessness.

But here’s the shocker. What do I think needs to be changed? Nothing.

Movies should continue to be made and they should be made as well as possible.

Some should be based on comic books because it’s really great source material.

Others should be based on the Bible, or Dickens or Broadway . Because it’s really great source material.

And yet others should be based on ideas people think up on their own (imagine that!) – because the brain is capable of coming up with a really great source material.

“Hollywood” isn’t broken and the Superhero isn’t dead (Christopher Nolan could turn any deep catalog comic book character into a franchise – even something like “Gerbil Girl”) – everyone involved in the process just needs to concentrate more on entertaining the audience and less on just filling a summer slot.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Why the hell is “Glee” at Comic-Con? If you want to talk about something that’s dead… it’s Comic-Con. And IT WAS killed by the movie studios. If you want a good laugh, read the transcript from Khan Manka, Jr.’s keynote address to last year’s Comic-Con.

April 1, 2011July 19, 2012

Broadcast Networks – On Death And Dying

For Broadcast Networks, the end is coming and it’s time for them to Accept their fate. (The 2012 Emmy Nominations only strengthen this point.)

This isn’t to say ABC, CBS, FOX, MBS, NBC, Univision and The CW (and similar Broadcast Networks around the world) are going away. They’ll just have to transform into one of the million other “Channels” out there – high profile Channels with good programming and production values – but still just another button on the Great Media Grid like ESPN, TNT, USA, Oxygen, Justin.tv (indeed), YouTube, etc.

According to a model developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying”, there are Five Stages of Grief.

Over the past 20 years or so, Broadcast Networks have bounced around the First Four Stages in an effort to fight off the inevitable:

1. Denial: Broadcast Networks will always be the only place to reach a large audience. We don’t see that ever going away. No one is going to watch the shit they make on Cable. It’s nothing but George Foreman Grill infomercials and drunken Jackass teenagers riding their bikes into traffic.

2. Anger: It’s just not right! They make such crap on Basic Cable (again – see Emmy Nominations). How are they pulling in more advertising than us?! I don’t give a shit about the ratings of “Jersey Shore”, the content on Broadcast Networks is far superior and always will be. Goddamnit! And don’t you dare mention that fucking “Mad Men” to me again! And Hell will freeze over before we ever produce a series for that inferior platform. There’s no syndication value. It’s bullshit!

3. Bargaining: The playing field is not level. It’s not fair. We really need you cable and satellite operators to pay us to retransmit our signal. Don’t forget – we’re the Broadcast Networks. If you give us two revenue streams, we’ll give you really great programming with high ratings and advertising rates that are healthy for everyone. Don’t you realize there is only one place to reach a large audience?

4. Depression: Remember when Saturday night was the greatest night on television – when three networks (and three network Presidents) controlled every household? Everyone had incredible line-ups. It will never be that good again. Thursday night used to be a place where advertisers needed us to launch a new movie or car or department store sales. Those were the days. Oh well, at least we still have our beach houses and court side basketball seats.

5. Acceptance: It’s going to be okay. It’s not so bad to be equated with TBS. I mean, they have Conan O’Brien now. They are sort of like a Broadcast Network. And we’re still bigger than most of the other Channels. And we’ll get the Super Bowl back one day (after ESPN and The Food Network have their turns). It’s all good.

——————————–

The death of Broadcast Networks may not happen in the next five years but it IS going to happen and the sooner we put them out of their misery and end that painful decline, the faster the industry can heal and begin to grow again.

And even though every year in May, the upfronts always seem to break new records (and the Broadcasters will shout that fact from the rooftops in the Trades), make no mistake, nothing can be done to save Broadcast Networks.

It’s an old concept in a new world.

For old school TV executives and their Madison Avenue chronies who are accustomed to lavish Upfront Presentations at Carnegie Hall, Madison Square Garden and the International Space Station, it’s time to just let it go. The Days of Wine and Roses and Fine Dining and Muffin Baskets are over.

Broadcast Network defenders (yes, Les Moonves, this means you) are finding fewer and fewer allies in their argument. Face the facts, ESPN and Google are more valuable than CBS. It may not seem fair – but there are many new Sheriffs in town. Remember, if you’re in a business where single-digit drops in viewers is the New Growth, your business sucks.

So what are the Broadcast Networks supposed to do next? Very simple. Just accept equal footing (two revenue streams – subscription and advertising – enough with this silly Retrans business that no one can understand) and continue to run your business as just another Channel on the Grid.

In the future (and it’s coming), with a channel lineup grid that will be sorted Alphabetically and not by “importance” or “size” (and will include TV channels, websites and whatever else comes up) programming is, as it always has been, King .

And may the best programmer win.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

March 31, 2011October 13, 2011

Mob Wives – The Future Of Media Is Here!

UPDATE: Lynda Milito, the widow of murdered Gambino capo Louie Milito and author of the Cosa Nostra tell-all “Mafia Wife: My Story of Love, Murder and Madness,” has hit producers of the all-in-the-crime-family reality series with a cease-and-desist letter.

————————————————

Finally, thanks to Ben Silverman and Harvey Weinstein, the future of media is clear.

I believe “Mob Wives” has proven to be their finest hour and is, most likely, their legacy. Congratulations guys.

(UPDATE SIDE NOTE: Don’t worry about that little ‘cease-and-desist’ thing – I think there are quite a few people on “Mob Wives” that can take care of that problem… if you know what I mean.)

I certainly hope as the show goes on you guys will order a step up in the violence. We all want more real life Mafia Hits and a lot of gratuitous violence (to accompany all that built in product placement that Electus will bring to the project).

I think I know why Ben was brought in by Harvey to help produce. If, for whatever crazy reason, this show gets canceled, I can imagine how the conversation between Harvey and Ben will go:

Harvey (on the phone): Hey Ben!

Ben (Eurotrash music thumps in the background): Huh?!

Harvey: I got a call from VH1, “Mob Wives” is canceled – I would like you to tell the “Mob Wives” in person.

Ben: We can’t cancel “Mob Wives” – their husbands are violent criminals, they’ll come after us. They need that $20,000 a week we pay them for money laundering.

Harvey: It’s over, Ben. This was your dumb idea. You tell them.

Ben: It wasn’t my–

Harvey: Shut up, Ben. Do it! And give me Barry Diller’s number, I need to pay the light bill.

Five minutes later, Ben makes a call:

Ricky Van Veen: Hee hee heeee!! Ah-oo-gah! You’ve got Rickaaaiiiee–!!

Ben: Cut the shit, Ricky. I need you to do me a favor. You know that show “Mob Wives” – it’s canceled. There’s a meat locker downtown where we have our production meetings, go down and tell them the show is toast.

Ricky Van Veen: No problema, hip master B!
—————————————–
At least, I THINK that’s how it would go.

I look forward to a further expansion of the “Mob Wives” brand and would love to see more wives of violent people. It’s just great television.

Maybe “Serial Killer Wives”, “Terrorist Wives”, “Dentist Wives” – it’s just an endless brand and really plays into Ben Silverman’s vision of the future of media.

Ben, dude, you are hitting on all cylinders.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

February 18, 2011April 11, 2011

Not ANOTHER Fairy Tale Ending

Once upon a time, Hollywood was creatively bankrupt… again. The year was 2011 and poor little Hollywood didn’t know what kind of movies to make.

The heads of the major studios (including Manka Bros. – the owner of OnMedea) knew that a film adaptation of the fairy tale “Alice In Wonderland” made over $1 billion at the box office in 2010 and said “That’s a lot of money.”

So after much thought (or not), Hollywood decided to make EVERY FREAKING FAIRY TALE EVER WRITTEN INTO A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE!

Come on, really?

Every day, I read about another studio doing another fairy tale adaption. And all of them are a DARK, GRITTY version that the “19th century authors originally had in mind”.

Not a fluffy Hollywood squeaky clean version that doesn’t scare our whimpy modern day kids – but a frightening and bloody tale like children used to experience when kids were tough and enjoyed waking up screaming from a horrifying nightmare because of the bedtime story they were read.

To be fair, I think it was a great idea to reimagine Red Riding Hood with a darker tone – which is certainly fitting of the story. And while the trailer looks like a cross between a perfume ad and Twilight, I still believe it’s a solid original concept and should result in strong box office. (I’ll certainly be there opening weekend.)

But then came a fairy tale adaptation tsunami (which includes 3 SNOW WHITES!) that has now completely flooded the town.

Here’s a sampling of what’s coming up:

Jack the Giant Killer (Warner Bros.) – a gritty modern day reimagining of the classic tale.

The Brothers Grimm: Snow White (Relativity) – gritty reimagining starring Julia Roberts as the Wicked Queen.

Snow White and The Huntsman (Universal) – gritty reimagining starring Charlize Theron as the Wicked Queen.

Snow White and The Seven (Disney) – sweet, no gritty, set in 19th century China.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (Paramount) – Starring Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton (and, no doubt, various star cameos), H&G are now accomplished bounty hunters out to get the witches who nearly killed them years before.

Beastly (CBS Films) – Beauty & The Beast set in high school. I don’t expect much from this one as I’ve already predicted the death of CBS Films in a previous blog.

Pinnochio 3D – a stop motion reimagining of the classic fairy tale. Expect a very dark and disturbing retake on this one as it comes from the genius mind of Guillermo Del Toro. I can already imagine losing sleep after I witness the stop motion, painful transformation of the children into donkeys sequence.

Hey Diddle Diddle (Manka Bros.) – a grim reimagining of the classic bedtime ditty set during the 1930s in a Soviet Union gulag. Why does the cow jump over the moon? Freedom.

Grimm (NBC) – Gritty TV cop drama set in a world where the characters of Grimm’s Fairy Tales actually exist.

———————————————————-

And that’s just in the next couple of years. Just think if these projects make money what we’ll see next:

Pat the Bunny – set in a post-apocalyptic cannibalistic world.

Rumpelstiltskin – featuring the beloved garden Gnomes from Gnomeo & Juliet in their first R-rated turn.

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie – rewritten with darker twists and turns so that it ends in murder.

Etc. etc. etc.

And the sad reality is, I won’t be able to take my five year old daughter to one of them because, if I did, she would wake up screaming in the middle of the night after witnessing Snow White disembowel one of the dwarfs (or something).

But I guess these movies aren’t made for her. They’re Fairy Tales – they’re not made for children for Christ’s sake. They’re made for the guys who go to Comic-Con. And THEY lived happily ever after.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 15, 2010August 10, 2011

TBS – Go Get Your Shinebox

What is it going to take for TBS (or any other Basic Cable channel) to get a little respect?

I watched the premiere week of Conan and thought it was fine and exactly what I expected (which is a slight disappointment, right?). (Also, why was it on at 10pm on DirecTV when every advertisement in the world says 11pm?… but I digress.)

The one thing that did stand out was the constant bashing of TBS and Basic Cable in general (I know it is a joke, I get it – I also got it in 1985 when the Basic Cable jokes started). But times have changed.

I was a proponent of Conan leaving NBC and for Jeff Zucker to be fired for many MANY reasons (including the handling of the Jay/Conan affair and for having anything to do with Ben Silverman. Please, someone wash everything Ben touched, it’s filthy!).

But, I must say, I’m disappointed with the way Conan has handled the transition to TBS. It was a very difficult decision, I’m sure, but why bash your new home?

Why is Basic Cable still struggling for any sort of respect?

It’s all very reminiscent of the scene from “Goodfellas” with Billy Batts (Frank Vincent) and Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) in the bar. Imagine Billy Batts is the “Broadcast Networks” and Tommy DeVito is “Basic Cable”:

Basic Cable: No more shines, Broadcast Networks.

Broadcast Networks: What?

Basic Cable: I said, no more shines. Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time. I don’t shine shoes anymore.

Broadcast Networks: Relax, will ya? Ya flip out, what’s got into you? I’m breaking your balls a little bit, that’s all. I’m only kidding with ya…

Basic Cable: Sometimes you don’t sound like you’re kidding, you know, there’s a lotta people around…

Broadcast Networks: I’m only kidding with you. I’m breaking your balls, and you’re getting fucking fresh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.

Basic Cable: I’m sorry, too. It’s okay. No problem.

Broadcast Networks: Now go home and get your fuckin’ shinebox!

Basic Cable: Mother fuckin’ mutt! You fucking piece of shit!

If you remember the movie, Tommy then kicked and stabbed Billy about a thousand times, threw him in the trunk of his car and buried him in some disgusting pit. I’m not saying Basic Cable will completely bury the Broadcast Networks – but it seems to be headed that general direction – so Broadcast Networks had better cut it out with the “shinebox attitude”.

And seriously, to watch Conan, you would think the year is 1985 and the only programming on TBS was really bad VHS copies of really bad 1970s movies and a few Body By Jake infommercials.

This is 2010 and Basic Cable Channels are a key driver and profit center helping to keep the Hollywood machine afloat.

So how about a little respect, Conan? I know you’re only getting $10 million from that suckass TBS that gives you “no budget” (other than a very large one) but come on!

And are you taping this show from some local station in Palmdale or in a very nice soundstage on a very nice Burbank studio lot? And do you have one blimp to promote your show or zero blimps?

And the last I checked, Mad Men on AMC (Basic Cable) won the Emmy for Best Drama; TBS just paid upwards of $2 million/episode for Big Bang Theory (among others); and the ACE Awards (which was a popular punchline for comedians about FIFTEEN YEARS AGO) haven’t been on the air for FIFTEEN YEARS!

I would also argue that with its scripted reruns and movies, TBS and the other top Basic Cable Channels have better daytime programming than any of the Broadcast Station Groups (unless you like Judge shows) and the primetime lineups are equally as creative and catching up in the ratings.

In fact, Broadcast Networks are deep into the 5 Stages of Grief from “On Death and Dying” – and they have been in denial about Basic Cable for years. Retrans is one final pathetic attempt to stay competitive.

So, Conan, I’m sorry you are stuck on lowly TBS when all your life you dreamed of being on NBC (now worth negative $690 million on NBC Universal’s balance sheet) – but the truth is, in today’s media environment, it’s not which channel you are on but the programming you produce.

Remember, even a show shot in a shack in Palmdale can be relevant (and widely seen) today.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Why doesn’t anyone ever bash MTV for being “Basic Cable”? Just wondering.

October 1, 2010April 21, 2011

Say It Ain’t So, Tony DiSanto

Seriously? Is this the guy you want to work for? Ugh.

Oh, well… It’s just a shame.

Tony, you have a reputation for being one of the good guys in Hollywood and you’re going to work for Ben Silverman?

Come on, man!

I’m on-board with you wanting to leave MTV and get back to your real passion – being a content producer.

I’m on-board with the company name – DiGa. Di (Santo) and Ga (for partner Liz Gately). DiGa. I’m sure there is also some foreign word that it translates to that gives it another dimension.

What I’m not on-board with is you partnering with Electus.

Every studio in town would most likely want to make a deal with you guys and now you’re stuck going to Holiday parties with Ben Silverman and Ricky Van Veen?

You’re better than that, Tony!

Now, most people who read this blog regularly know that I haven’t been too kind to Mr. Silverman over the past year or so (several examples are listed below)…

Example A; Example B; Example C; Example D; Example E; Example F; Example G; Example H; Example I; Example J; Example K; Example L; Example M; Example N

… but, Tony, you’re being way too nice here. You’re actually giving Ben a hint of credibility. Credibility that he doesn’t deserve.

However, maybe it’s not over.

Perhaps something can be done to stop it… something like Howard Beale in “Network” screaming to “Stop the CCA Deal now!” (fyi, the fictional Saudi Arabian deal with CCA – the parent company of fictional TV network UBS).

If enough people actually care, we could mobilize and march on Electus Headquarters (which I believe is the Wynn Resort Las Vegas) screaming over and over: STOP THE DIGA / ELECTUS DEAL NOW! STOP THE DIGA / ELECTUS DEAL NOW!

Ah, nevermind. Good luck, Tony.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 23, 2010April 12, 2011

More BS (I Mean Wisdom) From Ben Silverman

Ben Silverman needs to eat. Wild eyed and gulag skinny, Ben took the stage at Sharon Waxman’s “The Grill” (can’t wait to blog about that some day) and continued to tell people he is changing the world.

“I’m not 21 and still in my dorm room, but I think this company has an opportunity to be an enormous company in terms of its profitability. I’ll measure success in terms of impacting the audience, empowering storytelling and making dough.”

That must be so encouraging to Barry Diller. I’m sure he’s licking his chops anticipating those Electus profits. Seriously, where do I sign up? How can I invest? Ben is so focused on making money it doesn’t look like he’s slept a wink or ate a meal in months. I mean, look at him – all disheveled and greasy – that’s the face of success.

The Hollywood lifestyle has really done wonders for him. I need to find out what multivitamin he takes.

From what I gather, here’s what we can look forward to from Ben Silverman and Electus:

“Pedro & Maria” (MTV) brought to you by Proctor & Gamble. Because nothing says Hispanic like Proctor & Gamble. The show is basically a Romeo & Juliet remake (but waaaay cooler than Shakespeare with much better music). I’ll be looking out for a scene in a laundromat where Pedro or Maria are washing clothes with P&G’s All-New Gain detergent with Stain Buster 4X. Or worse, one will text the other “Can U p/u some PROCTOR & GAMBLE GAIN DETERGENT 4 me?”

“Master of the Mix” (MTV) brought to you by Smirnoff Vodka. A reality show DJ competition. Because only the best DJs drink Smirnoff. And, remember, it takes a lot of Smirnoff to become a great DJ.

Shows unlike any we’ve ever seen. Great stuff, Ben.

And these series perfectly embody the Electus manifesto: “Allowing Content Creators and Branding Partners To Reach Audiences Like Never Before”. Because how else is MTV going to reach an audience? Through its massive global reach and international marketing organization? Unlikely.

And there is obviously a lot more to come from Electus. Ben continued: “We have relationships on a profound level with the A-list storytelling matrix in Hollywood and NYC. Our goal is to win Golden Globes.”

Lofty goals indeed, Ben. But, why the fuck not?! Greatness like this only comes around once every million years or so.

So shoot for the moon, Ben, and even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

August 1, 2010April 12, 2011

Electus – Starring Ben Silverman

Apparently there is a new movie coming out called “Electus” and it looks like it stars Ben Silverman.

This afternoon, I thought I would do a little checking up on Ben’s $100 million dollar company and discovered that, unlike the way the website looked a month ago, there is actually some content now.

Content starring Ben Silverman.

The content is a $100 million dollar sizzle reel with flying headlines glorifying the accomplishments of… Ben Silverman.

I stared at the video, with its horrible techno-pop / Eurotrash soundtrack (though fitting), in amazement. Is this what revolution looks like?

I then went to the other page (yes, there is one other page on the site, you can’t expect too much in one year) and discovered a chart.

A chart that even a freakin’ moron can understand.

How can something that looks so simple (so elegant) and so “old media” change the world in such a profound way?

I’m still trying to process how great it all is.

I’m seriously at a loss for words.

There is only one person on the planet that knows what the future of media looks like. His name is Ben Silverman but he can’t talk right now – he has an early morning call on the set of another sizzle reel he is starring in titled “Managing Expectations”.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea