Tom Mockridge – OnMedea

February 8, 2013February 12, 2013

NBC Is Saved!

OK – I know NBC has been on a really bad run lately – but things are definitely looking up!

I just received an email alert from the Hollywood Reporter announcing that Christina Ricci has agreed to star in…

wait for it…

GIRLFRIEND IN A COMA

After 87 years, NBC finally has a show to be proud of.

Bob Greenblatt has proven his brilliance and I can’t to hear what’s next:

Could it be – “My Boyfriend’s Got A Nail In His Head”?

“Dad’s Bleeding From The Ass… Again”

“What’s That Thing On Molly’s Face?”

The possibilities are endless.

All joking aside… Here’s who is really in a coma:

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

April 1, 2011July 19, 2012

Broadcast Networks – On Death And Dying

For Broadcast Networks, the end is coming and it’s time for them to Accept their fate. (The 2012 Emmy Nominations only strengthen this point.)

This isn’t to say ABC, CBS, FOX, MBS, NBC, Univision and The CW (and similar Broadcast Networks around the world) are going away. They’ll just have to transform into one of the million other “Channels” out there – high profile Channels with good programming and production values – but still just another button on the Great Media Grid like ESPN, TNT, USA, Oxygen, Justin.tv (indeed), YouTube, etc.

According to a model developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying”, there are Five Stages of Grief.

Over the past 20 years or so, Broadcast Networks have bounced around the First Four Stages in an effort to fight off the inevitable:

1. Denial: Broadcast Networks will always be the only place to reach a large audience. We don’t see that ever going away. No one is going to watch the shit they make on Cable. It’s nothing but George Foreman Grill infomercials and drunken Jackass teenagers riding their bikes into traffic.

2. Anger: It’s just not right! They make such crap on Basic Cable (again – see Emmy Nominations). How are they pulling in more advertising than us?! I don’t give a shit about the ratings of “Jersey Shore”, the content on Broadcast Networks is far superior and always will be. Goddamnit! And don’t you dare mention that fucking “Mad Men” to me again! And Hell will freeze over before we ever produce a series for that inferior platform. There’s no syndication value. It’s bullshit!

3. Bargaining: The playing field is not level. It’s not fair. We really need you cable and satellite operators to pay us to retransmit our signal. Don’t forget – we’re the Broadcast Networks. If you give us two revenue streams, we’ll give you really great programming with high ratings and advertising rates that are healthy for everyone. Don’t you realize there is only one place to reach a large audience?

4. Depression: Remember when Saturday night was the greatest night on television – when three networks (and three network Presidents) controlled every household? Everyone had incredible line-ups. It will never be that good again. Thursday night used to be a place where advertisers needed us to launch a new movie or car or department store sales. Those were the days. Oh well, at least we still have our beach houses and court side basketball seats.

5. Acceptance: It’s going to be okay. It’s not so bad to be equated with TBS. I mean, they have Conan O’Brien now. They are sort of like a Broadcast Network. And we’re still bigger than most of the other Channels. And we’ll get the Super Bowl back one day (after ESPN and The Food Network have their turns). It’s all good.

——————————–

The death of Broadcast Networks may not happen in the next five years but it IS going to happen and the sooner we put them out of their misery and end that painful decline, the faster the industry can heal and begin to grow again.

And even though every year in May, the upfronts always seem to break new records (and the Broadcasters will shout that fact from the rooftops in the Trades), make no mistake, nothing can be done to save Broadcast Networks.

It’s an old concept in a new world.

For old school TV executives and their Madison Avenue chronies who are accustomed to lavish Upfront Presentations at Carnegie Hall, Madison Square Garden and the International Space Station, it’s time to just let it go. The Days of Wine and Roses and Fine Dining and Muffin Baskets are over.

Broadcast Network defenders (yes, Les Moonves, this means you) are finding fewer and fewer allies in their argument. Face the facts, ESPN and Google are more valuable than CBS. It may not seem fair – but there are many new Sheriffs in town. Remember, if you’re in a business where single-digit drops in viewers is the New Growth, your business sucks.

So what are the Broadcast Networks supposed to do next? Very simple. Just accept equal footing (two revenue streams – subscription and advertising – enough with this silly Retrans business that no one can understand) and continue to run your business as just another Channel on the Grid.

In the future (and it’s coming), with a channel lineup grid that will be sorted Alphabetically and not by “importance” or “size” (and will include TV channels, websites and whatever else comes up) programming is, as it always has been, King .

And may the best programmer win.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 15, 2010August 10, 2011

TBS – Go Get Your Shinebox

What is it going to take for TBS (or any other Basic Cable channel) to get a little respect?

I watched the premiere week of Conan and thought it was fine and exactly what I expected (which is a slight disappointment, right?). (Also, why was it on at 10pm on DirecTV when every advertisement in the world says 11pm?… but I digress.)

The one thing that did stand out was the constant bashing of TBS and Basic Cable in general (I know it is a joke, I get it – I also got it in 1985 when the Basic Cable jokes started). But times have changed.

I was a proponent of Conan leaving NBC and for Jeff Zucker to be fired for many MANY reasons (including the handling of the Jay/Conan affair and for having anything to do with Ben Silverman. Please, someone wash everything Ben touched, it’s filthy!).

But, I must say, I’m disappointed with the way Conan has handled the transition to TBS. It was a very difficult decision, I’m sure, but why bash your new home?

Why is Basic Cable still struggling for any sort of respect?

It’s all very reminiscent of the scene from “Goodfellas” with Billy Batts (Frank Vincent) and Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) in the bar. Imagine Billy Batts is the “Broadcast Networks” and Tommy DeVito is “Basic Cable”:

Basic Cable: No more shines, Broadcast Networks.

Broadcast Networks: What?

Basic Cable: I said, no more shines. Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time. I don’t shine shoes anymore.

Broadcast Networks: Relax, will ya? Ya flip out, what’s got into you? I’m breaking your balls a little bit, that’s all. I’m only kidding with ya…

Basic Cable: Sometimes you don’t sound like you’re kidding, you know, there’s a lotta people around…

Broadcast Networks: I’m only kidding with you. I’m breaking your balls, and you’re getting fucking fresh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.

Basic Cable: I’m sorry, too. It’s okay. No problem.

Broadcast Networks: Now go home and get your fuckin’ shinebox!

Basic Cable: Mother fuckin’ mutt! You fucking piece of shit!

If you remember the movie, Tommy then kicked and stabbed Billy about a thousand times, threw him in the trunk of his car and buried him in some disgusting pit. I’m not saying Basic Cable will completely bury the Broadcast Networks – but it seems to be headed that general direction – so Broadcast Networks had better cut it out with the “shinebox attitude”.

And seriously, to watch Conan, you would think the year is 1985 and the only programming on TBS was really bad VHS copies of really bad 1970s movies and a few Body By Jake infommercials.

This is 2010 and Basic Cable Channels are a key driver and profit center helping to keep the Hollywood machine afloat.

So how about a little respect, Conan? I know you’re only getting $10 million from that suckass TBS that gives you “no budget” (other than a very large one) but come on!

And are you taping this show from some local station in Palmdale or in a very nice soundstage on a very nice Burbank studio lot? And do you have one blimp to promote your show or zero blimps?

And the last I checked, Mad Men on AMC (Basic Cable) won the Emmy for Best Drama; TBS just paid upwards of $2 million/episode for Big Bang Theory (among others); and the ACE Awards (which was a popular punchline for comedians about FIFTEEN YEARS AGO) haven’t been on the air for FIFTEEN YEARS!

I would also argue that with its scripted reruns and movies, TBS and the other top Basic Cable Channels have better daytime programming than any of the Broadcast Station Groups (unless you like Judge shows) and the primetime lineups are equally as creative and catching up in the ratings.

In fact, Broadcast Networks are deep into the 5 Stages of Grief from “On Death and Dying” – and they have been in denial about Basic Cable for years. Retrans is one final pathetic attempt to stay competitive.

So, Conan, I’m sorry you are stuck on lowly TBS when all your life you dreamed of being on NBC (now worth negative $690 million on NBC Universal’s balance sheet) – but the truth is, in today’s media environment, it’s not which channel you are on but the programming you produce.

Remember, even a show shot in a shack in Palmdale can be relevant (and widely seen) today.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Why doesn’t anyone ever bash MTV for being “Basic Cable”? Just wondering.

December 10, 2009April 19, 2011

Should News Corp Buy Viacom

Adam Townsend, Alan Greenberg, Angeline Straka, Anthea Disney, Anthony G. Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Beryl Cook, Blythe McGarvie, Brad Grey, Bruce Gordon, Carl Folta, Charles Gifford, Charles Phillips, Chase Carey, David Devoe, David Poltrack, David R. Angelman, Debra Lee, DeDe Lea, Denise White, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Gary Ginsberg, Genie Gavenchak, George Abrams, Gil Schwartz, Jack Horner, James Barge, James Bombassei, James Murdoch, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, John Nallen, Joseph Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Jr., Jr. Frederic Salerno, Judy McGrath, Julie Henderson, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lawrence Jacobs, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Michael Fricklas, Michael Regan, Nikki Finke, OnMedea, Philippe Dauman, Reed Nolte, Richard M. Jones, Robert Kraft, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Shari Redstone, Sharon Waxman, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, thewrap.com, Thomas Dooley, Tom Mockridge, Tony Santabarbara, Wade Davis, William Cohen, William Schwartz

YES!

But only Viacom’s cable networks and digital assets. CBS (not wanting to leave the cocoon of Old Media) should buy Viacom’s Paramount Pictures.

Is there any chance in hell this could actually happen? Could Rupert Murdoch pull off an acquisition of that magnitude?

No fucking way. Not while old man Redstone continues to draw a breath.

So, yes, it’s most likely a non-starter. But even in a fantasy scenario, wouldn’t it be great to finally get rid of Viacom and Redstone? Both are simply a mess and completely unnecessary.

[Note: I realize Sumner Redstone is Chairman of the Board and majority stockholder of CBS, but Les Moonves is the much more appealing face of that company, not Sumner. Sumner is the face of Viacom… and the media world has had enough.]

Imagine News Corp (which has the weakest portfolio of cable assets save Fox News, FX and those regional sports thingies) with Viacom’s cable channels: MTV, Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, TV Land, VH1, etc. etc.

This would immediately fill all News Corp’s demographic needs and, in the digital channel universe, put them on par with Time Warner, Disney and, in late 2010, Comcast.

Viacom was never going to be on par with anyone as long as Sumner is around (even with those assets)… so it’s time to shut it down.

As for CBS and their acquisition of Paramount Pictures… they, obviously, just want to be an old media company and ride that peaceful, easy feeling all the way into the grave. Buying Paramount Pictures (and, hey, why not MGM while they’re at it!) would help realize that mid-1990s-vertical-alignment-synergy-world they are striving for. And based on Comcast’s purchase of NBCU (which valued Universal Studios at less than $3 billion), Paramount, with its much smaller film and television library, can be picked up at quite a fire sale bargain. (Wait two years and it will be even more of a bargain!)

Also, this would give CBS the opportunity to shut down the ridiculous CBS Films vanity project before it becomes a further embarrassment.

So, think about it people. A deal like this would really be a win-win-win for everyone… and help us to get rid of (at least a part of) Sumner Redstone once and for all.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 9, 2009April 22, 2011

Attention FoxPop and All Other Home Entertainment Groups

STOP DOING SHIT! Just stop it. People have already lost their ability to focus on any one particular thing and you want to “FoxPopize” your movies?

Let me explain. 20th Century Fox (that name is truly fitting in this case) is debuting a new service called FoxPop on the upcoming Blu-ray and DVD release of “Night At The Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian”. While a viewer is watching this horrible film, FoxPop will send out “a constant barrage of facts, photos, games and trivia questions related to the movie” to the user’s Mac, PC or iPhone.

Who gives a fucking shit?!

Do the execs at Fox Home Entertainment really think the consumer’s viewing experience will be enhanced and they will, in turn, embrace and save the dying DVD business by buzzing someone’s iPhone when T.rex appears on screen and asking “how many bones does this dino have?” Most people barely have time to watch one movie a month and you’re trying to waste more of their time!

It’s obvious Fox has quite a bit of extra money lying around to be able to attempt this lame exercise. But I beg you… please stop with all the bullshit and put your money where it really needs to go: Digital downloading technology, consumer education about digital downloading and digital downloading implementation.

That’s the future – not a zapping an iPhone to tell us how many hair follicles Ben Stiller has on his head.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea