Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, American Reunion, American Pie, Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg, Adam Herz, Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Seann William Scott, Mena Suvari, Eddie Kaye Thomas, John Cho, Jennifer Coolidge, Eugene Levy, Natasha Lyonne, Dania Ramirez, Katrina Bowden, Jay Harrington, Chuck Hittinger, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Owen, Justin Isfeld, Charlene Amoia, Jesse Malinowski, Robert Hayes, Vik Sahay, Stevie Ray Dallimore, Kim Wall, Neil Patrick Harris, George Christopher Bianchi, Jennifer Sun Bell, Autumn Dial, Rebecca Field, Vince Pisani, Terri James, Jen Kober, Raheem Babalola, Valarie Kobrovsky, Benjamin Arthur, Hart Turner, Molly Cheek, Brian Mahoney, Chad Johnson, Matt Mangum, Zane Wind, Helena Santos Lew, Michael Beasley, Pam Green, Joseph Kaiser, Michael May, Logan Van Sickle, Chase Krepp, Max Wissinger, John Bailey, Elizabeth Shea Hurwitz, Rod rich, Jenna Willis, Ali Cobrin, Louis G. Friedman, Adam Herz, Chris Moore, Craig Perry, Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz, Warren Zide, Lyle Workman, Daryn Okada, Jeff Betancourt, Jay Scully, William Arnold, Elliott Glick, David Smith, Mona May, Kathleen Keller, Steve Apicella, Bill Barnes, Steve Adcock, jamie Lynn Catrett, Julian Andraus, Allyse Manoff, Tom Hardisty, Joseph Amaral, Paul Bednarz, Stephanie Beman, Justin Campbell, Stephen Cook, Michelle Coppins, Luke Crawford, Anthony Davis, Wes Dorough, Lea Enslin, Katie Ferguson, Pam Fuller, Ari Joseph, Kathleen Keller, Andrew Kim, Wendi Laski, Heidi Brook Myers, Wendy Price, Sommer Oliver, Brent Ogburn, Joshua Reid-Davis, Bruce Robert, Drew Ritson, Liz Smallwood, Robin Spears, Michael Swafford, Melanie Tolbert, Natalie Tyler, Christoph Vogt

American Reunion [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, American Reunion, American Pie, Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg, Adam Herz, Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Seann William Scott, Mena Suvari, Eddie Kaye Thomas, John Cho, Jennifer Coolidge, Eugene Levy, Natasha Lyonne, Dania Ramirez, Katrina Bowden, Jay Harrington, Chuck Hittinger, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Owen, Justin Isfeld, Charlene Amoia, Jesse Malinowski, Robert Hayes, Vik Sahay, Stevie Ray Dallimore, Kim Wall, Neil Patrick Harris, George Christopher Bianchi, Jennifer Sun Bell, Autumn Dial, Rebecca Field, Vince Pisani, Terri James, Jen Kober, Raheem Babalola, Valarie Kobrovsky, Benjamin Arthur, Hart Turner, Molly Cheek, Brian Mahoney, Chad Johnson, Matt Mangum, Zane Wind, Helena Santos Lew, Michael Beasley, Pam Green, Joseph Kaiser, Michael May, Logan Van Sickle, Chase Krepp, Max Wissinger, John Bailey, Elizabeth Shea Hurwitz, Rod rich, Jenna Willis, Ali Cobrin, Louis G. Friedman, Adam Herz, Chris Moore, Craig Perry, Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz, Warren Zide, Lyle Workman, Daryn Okada, Jeff Betancourt, Jay Scully, William Arnold, Elliott Glick, David Smith, Mona May, Kathleen Keller, Steve Apicella, Bill Barnes, Steve Adcock, jamie Lynn Catrett, Julian Andraus, Allyse Manoff, Tom Hardisty, Joseph Amaral, Paul Bednarz, Stephanie Beman, Justin Campbell, Stephen Cook, Michelle Coppins, Luke Crawford, Anthony Davis, Wes Dorough, Lea Enslin, Katie Ferguson, Pam Fuller, Ari Joseph, Kathleen Keller, Andrew Kim, Wendi Laski, Heidi Brook Myers, Wendy Price, Sommer Oliver, Brent Ogburn, Joshua Reid-Davis, Bruce Robert, Drew Ritson, Liz Smallwood, Robin Spears, Michael Swafford, Melanie Tolbert, Natalie Tyler, Christoph VogtAmerican Reunion

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

Kimmo was in trouble.

Big trouble.

Last week I had super cool “Wrath of the Titans” review that I made.

Then the dumbness strikes.

I e-mail copy of review to my Uncle Tukka who is in living outside of the Helsinki – not to Kyrle, who is the editor that manages these things.

I have screwed Straight Up (like Paula Abdul!).  Kyrle has made a rule that is new:  Kossu shots OR bong loads, not Kossu shots AND bong loads.

This is fair, in my heart and in my head thoughts.  I know that booze is good.  So is the sweet, sweet smoke.

Together?  I begin to be a Greeter Man at WalMart.

Sorry to my 15 loyal readers.  I feel shame.

Now – for a movie!

And what a goddamn good time for a movie to have!  I was very worrisome.

Every time Hollywood touches my past it is “the wrong touch.”

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, American Reunion, American Pie, Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg, Adam Herz, Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Seann William Scott, Mena Suvari, Eddie Kaye Thomas, John Cho, Jennifer Coolidge, Eugene Levy, Natasha Lyonne, Dania Ramirez, Katrina Bowden, Jay Harrington, Chuck Hittinger, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Owen, Justin Isfeld, Charlene Amoia, Jesse Malinowski, Robert Hayes, Vik Sahay, Stevie Ray Dallimore, Kim Wall, Neil Patrick Harris, George Christopher Bianchi, Jennifer Sun Bell, Autumn Dial, Rebecca Field, Vince Pisani, Terri James, Jen Kober, Raheem Babalola, Valarie Kobrovsky, Benjamin Arthur, Hart Turner, Molly Cheek, Brian Mahoney, Chad Johnson, Matt Mangum, Zane Wind, Helena Santos Lew, Michael Beasley, Pam Green, Joseph Kaiser, Michael May, Logan Van Sickle, Chase Krepp, Max Wissinger, John Bailey, Elizabeth Shea Hurwitz, Rod rich, Jenna Willis, Ali Cobrin, Louis G. Friedman, Adam Herz, Chris Moore, Craig Perry, Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz, Warren Zide, Lyle Workman, Daryn Okada, Jeff Betancourt, Jay Scully, William Arnold, Elliott Glick, David Smith, Mona May, Kathleen Keller, Steve Apicella, Bill Barnes, Steve Adcock, jamie Lynn Catrett, Julian Andraus, Allyse Manoff, Tom Hardisty, Joseph Amaral, Paul Bednarz, Stephanie Beman, Justin Campbell, Stephen Cook, Michelle Coppins, Luke Crawford, Anthony Davis, Wes Dorough, Lea Enslin, Katie Ferguson, Pam Fuller, Ari Joseph, Kathleen Keller, Andrew Kim, Wendi Laski, Heidi Brook Myers, Wendy Price, Sommer Oliver, Brent Ogburn, Joshua Reid-Davis, Bruce Robert, Drew Ritson, Liz Smallwood, Robin Spears, Michael Swafford, Melanie Tolbert, Natalie Tyler, Christoph VogtBut “American Reunion?”  I am sporting a Stifler!

Really.  I am not kidding.

Plot?  Sure!

All of our “American Pie” friends come back – 13 year reunions are important in America.

So, like locusts on Egypt they return.  Jim (Jason Biggs) and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) are married with kid attached.  Oz (Chris Klein) works at crap ESPN channel.  Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) is worldly in many ways.  Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) is whipped by Gossip Girls.  Stifler (Seann William Scott) is… you will see as moments come by.

All are older, some are bigger in the wise area, some are better now as people than as high school students.

We see a penis.

Craps are taken in places where craps have never been before (so I hope).

Chicks that were once to be sat on as babies are now so hot for drooling.

Lies are lied.

Love is kindled (from the past) then rekindled – like fire!

Life is tested… some pass, others think they are taking another test (true story – remember old joke about Norwegian who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?  NEVER GETS OLD!!!).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, American Reunion, American Pie, Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg, Adam Herz, Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Seann William Scott, Mena Suvari, Eddie Kaye Thomas, John Cho, Jennifer Coolidge, Eugene Levy, Natasha Lyonne, Dania Ramirez, Katrina Bowden, Jay Harrington, Chuck Hittinger, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Owen, Justin Isfeld, Charlene Amoia, Jesse Malinowski, Robert Hayes, Vik Sahay, Stevie Ray Dallimore, Kim Wall, Neil Patrick Harris, George Christopher Bianchi, Jennifer Sun Bell, Autumn Dial, Rebecca Field, Vince Pisani, Terri James, Jen Kober, Raheem Babalola, Valarie Kobrovsky, Benjamin Arthur, Hart Turner, Molly Cheek, Brian Mahoney, Chad Johnson, Matt Mangum, Zane Wind, Helena Santos Lew, Michael Beasley, Pam Green, Joseph Kaiser, Michael May, Logan Van Sickle, Chase Krepp, Max Wissinger, John Bailey, Elizabeth Shea Hurwitz, Rod rich, Jenna Willis, Ali Cobrin, Louis G. Friedman, Adam Herz, Chris Moore, Craig Perry, Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz, Warren Zide, Lyle Workman, Daryn Okada, Jeff Betancourt, Jay Scully, William Arnold, Elliott Glick, David Smith, Mona May, Kathleen Keller, Steve Apicella, Bill Barnes, Steve Adcock, jamie Lynn Catrett, Julian Andraus, Allyse Manoff, Tom Hardisty, Joseph Amaral, Paul Bednarz, Stephanie Beman, Justin Campbell, Stephen Cook, Michelle Coppins, Luke Crawford, Anthony Davis, Wes Dorough, Lea Enslin, Katie Ferguson, Pam Fuller, Ari Joseph, Kathleen Keller, Andrew Kim, Wendi Laski, Heidi Brook Myers, Wendy Price, Sommer Oliver, Brent Ogburn, Joshua Reid-Davis, Bruce Robert, Drew Ritson, Liz Smallwood, Robin Spears, Michael Swafford, Melanie Tolbert, Natalie Tyler, Christoph VogtMany happy faces from the past float on the screen.  We (I) smile.

I missed my “American Franchise” friends.

But sometimes, expectations are face rubbed in gravel.

The surprise that surprised me was too surprising.  This is a movie about a Stifler.

I will now, out of my mouth (computer mouth) say – “Seann William Scott is the most funny comic actor of the last 20 years.”  His eyeballs tell stories.

He makes sounds that my heart go a kind of “chugga-chugga”, in that straight “chugga-chugga” way. He is the man (boy) that my aspirations were looking at when I was the young.

Now he is complete.  I feel, now, to be complete, too.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Kimmo Mustonenen, Kimmo On Kino, American Reunion, American Pie, Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg, Adam Herz, Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Seann William Scott, Mena Suvari, Eddie Kaye Thomas, John Cho, Jennifer Coolidge, Eugene Levy, Natasha Lyonne, Dania Ramirez, Katrina Bowden, Jay Harrington, Chuck Hittinger, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Owen, Justin Isfeld, Charlene Amoia, Jesse Malinowski, Robert Hayes, Vik Sahay, Stevie Ray Dallimore, Kim Wall, Neil Patrick Harris, George Christopher Bianchi, Jennifer Sun Bell, Autumn Dial, Rebecca Field, Vince Pisani, Terri James, Jen Kober, Raheem Babalola, Valarie Kobrovsky, Benjamin Arthur, Hart Turner, Molly Cheek, Brian Mahoney, Chad Johnson, Matt Mangum, Zane Wind, Helena Santos Lew, Michael Beasley, Pam Green, Joseph Kaiser, Michael May, Logan Van Sickle, Chase Krepp, Max Wissinger, John Bailey, Elizabeth Shea Hurwitz, Rod rich, Jenna Willis, Ali Cobrin, Louis G. Friedman, Adam Herz, Chris Moore, Craig Perry, Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz, Warren Zide, Lyle Workman, Daryn Okada, Jeff Betancourt, Jay Scully, William Arnold, Elliott Glick, David Smith, Mona May, Kathleen Keller, Steve Apicella, Bill Barnes, Steve Adcock, jamie Lynn Catrett, Julian Andraus, Allyse Manoff, Tom Hardisty, Joseph Amaral, Paul Bednarz, Stephanie Beman, Justin Campbell, Stephen Cook, Michelle Coppins, Luke Crawford, Anthony Davis, Wes Dorough, Lea Enslin, Katie Ferguson, Pam Fuller, Ari Joseph, Kathleen Keller, Andrew Kim, Wendi Laski, Heidi Brook Myers, Wendy Price, Sommer Oliver, Brent Ogburn, Joshua Reid-Davis, Bruce Robert, Drew Ritson, Liz Smallwood, Robin Spears, Michael Swafford, Melanie Tolbert, Natalie Tyler, Christoph VogtJim’s father (Eugene Levy) deserves some kind of outing.  He, now widowed, is still the father we wanted (without the Pie fucking advice – that was a metaphor anyhow – Jim was kind of a dumbness).

Stifler’s Mom (Jennifer Coolidge) has many more lines (on face and on script).

She must still be done.  And done again.

Vicky (Tara Reid) is now a zombie – but hotter than any zombie on “The Walking Dead”.  It was good to see her.  But not for too long.

And Heather (Mena Suvari) has learned to cover her forehead (or 8-head, if we’re going by the thing’s size) with bangs.  She is now to be whacked to – in a pinch.

So, two thumbs straining to heaven – which is warm pie!

I am in love with “American Reunion.”  Laughs were barked out of my mouth and Dr. Pepper flew through my nose and on the critic to my front place (sorry, Peter Travers).

But never in the life that I live would I thought that I would be in Stifler love.

And I am.  Like an American!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  “American Idol” is the suck.  I will now only watch “The Voice”.  Or anything.  Please comment on things that I may watch without Kosso AND bong loads.  In advance – thank you!!!

2 comments

  1. Teemu Selane · April 6, 2012

    To prepare for to see American Reunion film, go eat Outback Steakhouse and drink the shots of Jack Daniels. Kimmo is film review genius and must be given the catering to. Anything Kimmo wants, Kimmo gets! He must review the show Sherlock on the PBS while smoking the curly pipe and drinking brandy from large glass.

  2. Nora Charles · April 6, 2012

    Forgive me for not commenting more, Kimmo… make that 16.