With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen
Damn.
Sometimes, a guy, with a drunk mind wants to see a movie.
This is all right.
Why not?
Then comes a movie with before a course in the college of your choice you must have been all night using Adderall because this movie is the final of the second semester.
Damn.
Here we go.
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Magneto (Ian McKellen) was boss. His strong was not so strong. He messed up Mrs. Liberty, but with effort that makes one short.
There is no worrying, because Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) is hot.
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X2: X-Men United (2003). Now Magneto can lift tons of shit, with mind thoughts.
He must be having brain push-ups, for his brain moving can now win in the MMA.
This is okey dokey, because of Jean Grey.
She is hot.
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X-Men: The Last Stand (2006). Magneto lifts really big stuff, from far, far away (bridges, submarines).
He is somehow badder, bigger, yet with mad wrinkle-age.
I’m all “eh”, because Phoenix (Famke Janssen) is still for hot.
Except for the dying.
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X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009).
Really?
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X-Men: First Class (2011). Back in time, Magneto (Michael Fassbender – not naked) has more powers than old-time Magneto in the future.
There is no sense in this to be made. Mystique (Rebecca Romijn) is now Raven (Jennifer Lawrence).
This a trade up.
My man parts approve. Boing!!!
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Stinky poop, with everything Japanese except no Godzilla.
Avoid, unless you cannot.
Then see it while retching.
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X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014).
Finally!
We are at the time of the movie for me and the reviewing!
But, sadness, I am almost out of words.
Plot? Shit-tons of plot.
I will sum up in as less words than I can hope to type.
First is the future.
Asshole robots are killing all for just breathing air.
So bad is it all that mutants go to China for figuring out of the crap.
Here, the writers are all “Hey, Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page), we have no original ideas, so, in bad science fiction writer fashion, back in time you send Wolverine’s (Hugh Jackman) thought-essence to.”
It is like J.J. Abrams took a squat on this film from his butt.
The past has wide collars and wider pants legs. It is disturbing.
Mystique turns in to Foxy Brown – this makes my eyes wide, and brings the bottle to my mouth hole.
There is Vietnam, and Magneto (Fassbender again, and still no dangling parts dangling). He killed Kennedy and is now under the Pentagon being punished, very sad.
Now, things are more crazier.
Many things happen.
My brain goes, “slow down X-Men movie, for I have no clues as to what the hell!”
Then there is a Nixon.
Past Magneto can lift an entire stadium! In 1973 – yet in 2000 he cannot. So more brain “what the hell.”
Then I remember!
Ah, there is no sense in comic book movies.
This is not science fiction.
Comic books!
I now forgive.
If infant Magneto can lift planet Earth, do it son! Nothing must be of sense making.
Whew!
No more pressure to care who is who, and who is doing what with super powers.
So I do not harsh my high and enjoy all that is.
What is the meaning, to you, the viewing person, from me, of the writing?
This – two thumbs up.
A lot happens.
If you did not get an A in X-Men 206 (sophomore level, “who the hell are these characters” course) all is OK.
Drink your drink.
Smoke your smoke.
Stare at Jennifer Lawrence.
Then stare at her some more (I did).
It is worth the $12 ($47 if in 3D).
Take it to the bank.
In the past!
I say this in the present.
Kimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium
P.S. I realize that a Transformer turd movie is sitting on the horizon, looking at my soul. Odin, kill me with fire before I have to look on it to write on it. Please.
Summer is coming…
HEAR/SEE KIMMO’S REVIEW RIGHT HERE!
I liked it much better than my movie. In my movie Monarch was such a secret organization, they painted the name on all their helicopters and the children were possessed and stress-free.
Great page. Thanks.
I mean what are we supposed to do. 20 movies about XMen and we really don’t know about the universe. It’s like when Disney said all those books that supposedly furthered the story after Return of the Jedi are now not valid. What are we supposed to do? What is the story? Huck Finn isn’t in space or there isn’t a new origin story for Huck where he came from space or some such shit.
What are we supposed to do?
Great review, we kindly share your opinion.
Awesome Movie, Wonderful Cast! Best XMEN Movie so far! Congratulations to all the cast, director and producers!
By the way, Did you notice our FABULOUS BACKPACK #PANGOLIN?
It’s featured right at the beginning of the movie! If you didn’t realize watch it again and you will see. It’s worth watching it all over again! Learn more at http://www.pangolin.com.co
Could you review The Amazing Spider Man Two? The podcast reviews are hilarious. I wish I had a bunch of them on disc so I can listen while I drive. Great reviews.
thank you that was fun. and Kimmo is right. What has always gotten me is how with any film and TV shows the powers are never quit the same. Some get better with age and others just fall apart. How do you not infringe on copyright you have to change it up some.
Ich schätze wirklich die Mühe, die Sie unternommen haben, um das Wissen zu teilen. Das Thema, das ich hier gefunden habe, war wirklich effektiv für das Thema, zu dem ich lange recherchiert habe
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