Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Ted, Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild, Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Joel McHale, Giovanni Ribisi, Patrick Warburton, Matt Walsh, Jessica Barth, Aedin Mincks, Bill Smitrovich, Patrick Stewart, Norah Jones, Sam J. Jones, Tom Skerritt, Bretton Manley, Ralph Garman, Alex Borstein, John Viener, Laura Vandervport, Robert Wu, Ginger Gonzaga, Jessica Stroup, Melissa Ordway, Max Harris, Zane Cowans, T.J. Hourigan, Owen Clarke, Kristina Ellery, Katelyn Lorren, Chanty Sok, Sarah Fischer, Cassie Dierf, Joe Sirani, Pat Shea, Paul Campbell, Josh Duvendeck, Chris Cox, Henry Penzi, Talia Cabrera, Colton Shires, Viera Andrea Moya, Haejee Kim, Lydia Hannibal, Shawn Thornton, Eric Weinstein, Danny Smith, Mike Nikitas, Robin Hamilton, Mike Henry, Johnny Lee Davenport, Christina Everett, Kilo Alexander, Emmalyn Anderson, Alecia Batson, Ellen Becker-Gray, Marshall Berenson, Ronald Boone, Paul Bronk, Jeff T. Buco, Ryan Butcher, Jeffrey Corazzini, Richard DeAgazio, Aaron Dorsey, Alexandra East, Jquelyn Fabian, Shawn Fogarty, Evan Fonseca, John Franchi, Sophia Gilberto, Enku Gubaie, Rosemary Howard, Frankie Imbergamo, Mike Jablon, Olivia Jordan, Kahdiak, J. Parker Kent, Seamus Knight, Ren Knopf, Mark Kubr, Kathy Lashay Berenson, James L. Leite, Daniel Lowney, Phyllis Lynn, Tom Mariano, Rob Marin, Jeff Martineau, Sara Murphy, Ken Murray, Allan Oliveira, Ted Oyama, Richard Pacheco, Chris Palermo, Joseph Paolo, Laura Pizzuti, David Pulson, Stacey Queripel, Donna Glee Reim, Kayla Ruhl, Megan Sacco, Nicole Signore, Matthew Spinale, Sean Daniel Stentiford, Stream, Shannon Elaine Sweeney, John Talalas, Ally Tully, Jamie Christopher White, Luke Young, Jason Clark, John Jacobs, Mark Kamine, Joseph J. Micucci, Scott Stuber, Wellesley Wild, Walter Murphy, Michael Barrett, Jeff Freeman, Sheila Jaffe, Stephen J. Lineweaver, Kyra Friedman, Carla Antonino, Liz Berstrom, Carol Dantuono, Mark Kamine, Holly Rymon, Eric Heffron, Dylan Hopkins, Elizabeth MacSwan, Mike McGuirk, Richard Oswald, Brad Robinson, Scott Rogers, Christopher Sadler, Alison Troy, Jason Allard, Beth Anderson, Bobby Anderson, Shadya H. Balluq, Alix Belleville, Justin Bliss, Doug Cluff, Bryan Felty, Tom Williams, Mark Norby, Dana Reed, Kirk Bloom, Mark Vargo, David Adkins, Alyssa Barnes, John Burke, Amiee Clark, Ryan Cook, Jeff Crandell, Kelly Cronin, Sean Patrick Doherty, Kathryn Farino, Ethan Fox, Donna Glasser-Hancock, Timothy J. Gorman, Anna Gossman, Tim Haber, Chase Hall, Michael Harker, Jacob Head, Matthew Herman, Henry Humphreys, Elliot Kahan, Shea Kammer, Kate Kelly, Brady Kephart, Katie Kramer, Ashley Kravitz, Tim LaDue, Scott Levine, Jeff Maclean, Ruben Malaret, Jeffery Mannarini, Matthew Mayer, Joseph J. Micucci, Bryson Mooso, Cameron Morton, Julia Nemerow, Nick Noyes, Michael Oxton, Maria Palazon, Kevin Pasdon, Michael Peavey, Sean Perry, Michelle Poole, Brendan Potter, Jaydi Samuels, Cory Scott, Claire Severance, Shannon Shea, Missy Simms, James Slater, Cyndal Todd, Neil Tuli, Stephen Turro, Michael Twombly, Lorenzo Vigil, Alex Wayne, Peter Wentzel, Kit Wiltanen, Steve York, Dawn Bardan, Ryan Spenser

Ted [REVIEW]

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Ted, Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild, Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Joel McHale, Giovanni Ribisi, Patrick Warburton, Matt Walsh, Jessica Barth, Aedin Mincks, Bill Smitrovich, Patrick Stewart, Norah Jones, Sam J. Jones, Tom Skerritt, Bretton Manley, Ralph Garman, Alex Borstein, John Viener, Laura Vandervport, Robert Wu, Ginger Gonzaga, Jessica Stroup, Melissa Ordway, Max Harris, Zane Cowans, T.J. Hourigan, Owen Clarke, Kristina Ellery, Katelyn Lorren, Chanty Sok, Sarah Fischer, Cassie Dierf, Joe Sirani, Pat Shea, Paul Campbell, Josh Duvendeck, Chris Cox, Henry Penzi, Talia Cabrera, Colton Shires, Viera Andrea Moya, Haejee Kim, Lydia Hannibal, Shawn Thornton, Eric Weinstein, Danny Smith, Mike Nikitas, Robin Hamilton, Mike Henry, Johnny Lee Davenport, Christina Everett, Kilo Alexander, Emmalyn Anderson, Alecia Batson, Ellen Becker-Gray, Marshall Berenson, Ronald Boone, Paul Bronk, Jeff T. Buco, Ryan Butcher, Jeffrey Corazzini, Richard DeAgazio, Aaron Dorsey, Alexandra East, Jquelyn Fabian, Shawn Fogarty, Evan Fonseca, John Franchi, Sophia Gilberto, Enku Gubaie, Rosemary Howard, Frankie Imbergamo, Mike Jablon, Olivia Jordan, Kahdiak, J. Parker Kent, Seamus Knight, Ren Knopf, Mark Kubr, Kathy Lashay Berenson, James L. Leite, Daniel Lowney, Phyllis Lynn, Tom Mariano, Rob Marin, Jeff Martineau, Sara Murphy, Ken Murray, Allan Oliveira, Ted Oyama, Richard Pacheco, Chris Palermo, Joseph Paolo, Laura Pizzuti, David Pulson, Stacey Queripel, Donna Glee Reim, Kayla Ruhl, Megan Sacco, Nicole Signore, Matthew Spinale, Sean Daniel Stentiford, Stream, Shannon Elaine Sweeney, John Talalas, Ally Tully, Jamie Christopher White, Luke Young, Jason Clark, John Jacobs, Mark Kamine, Joseph J. Micucci, Scott Stuber, Wellesley Wild, Walter Murphy, Michael Barrett, Jeff Freeman, Sheila Jaffe, Stephen J. Lineweaver, Kyra Friedman, Carla Antonino, Liz Berstrom, Carol Dantuono, Mark Kamine, Holly Rymon, Eric Heffron, Dylan Hopkins, Elizabeth MacSwan, Mike McGuirk, Richard Oswald, Brad Robinson, Scott Rogers, Christopher Sadler, Alison Troy, Jason Allard, Beth Anderson, Bobby Anderson, Shadya H. Balluq, Alix Belleville, Justin Bliss, Doug Cluff, Bryan Felty, Tom Williams, Mark Norby, Dana Reed, Kirk Bloom, Mark Vargo, David Adkins, Alyssa Barnes, John Burke, Amiee Clark, Ryan Cook, Jeff Crandell, Kelly Cronin, Sean Patrick Doherty, Kathryn Farino, Ethan Fox, Donna Glasser-Hancock, Timothy J. Gorman, Anna Gossman, Tim Haber, Chase Hall, Michael Harker, Jacob Head, Matthew Herman, Henry Humphreys, Elliot Kahan, Shea Kammer, Kate Kelly, Brady Kephart, Katie Kramer, Ashley Kravitz, Tim LaDue, Scott Levine, Jeff Maclean, Ruben Malaret, Jeffery Mannarini, Matthew Mayer, Joseph J. Micucci, Bryson Mooso, Cameron Morton, Julia Nemerow, Nick Noyes, Michael Oxton, Maria Palazon, Kevin Pasdon, Michael Peavey, Sean Perry, Michelle Poole, Brendan Potter, Jaydi Samuels, Cory Scott, Claire Severance, Shannon Shea, Missy Simms, James Slater, Cyndal Todd, Neil Tuli, Stephen Turro, Michael Twombly, Lorenzo Vigil, Alex Wayne, Peter Wentzel, Kit Wiltanen, Steve York, Dawn Bardan, Ryan SpenserTed

With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen

This week is a suck week.

There is the movie that I wanted to write all over, and the other I see in my smoke heightened brain daily.

Why should I see something that I all the time see?

Things make talking on me all the time.

That is life.

I wanted the writing for “Magic Mike.”

Stripper movie!

Maybe a “Showgirls 2” thing.  Hot, slutty, and dumb chicks – the best.

With boobs.  Better.

But no.  There are no tears cried, just the disappointment lump in my stomach place.

So.

“Ted.”

Talking bears are all the time in Finland.

For two days, after a rage week of drinking, everything talks, talks too much.

Trees.

Fish.

Bears.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Ted, Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild, Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Joel McHale, Giovanni Ribisi, Patrick Warburton, Matt Walsh, Jessica Barth, Aedin Mincks, Bill Smitrovich, Patrick Stewart, Norah Jones, Sam J. Jones, Tom Skerritt, Bretton Manley, Ralph Garman, Alex Borstein, John Viener, Laura Vandervport, Robert Wu, Ginger Gonzaga, Jessica Stroup, Melissa Ordway, Max Harris, Zane Cowans, T.J. Hourigan, Owen Clarke, Kristina Ellery, Katelyn Lorren, Chanty Sok, Sarah Fischer, Cassie Dierf, Joe Sirani, Pat Shea, Paul Campbell, Josh Duvendeck, Chris Cox, Henry Penzi, Talia Cabrera, Colton Shires, Viera Andrea Moya, Haejee Kim, Lydia Hannibal, Shawn Thornton, Eric Weinstein, Danny Smith, Mike Nikitas, Robin Hamilton, Mike Henry, Johnny Lee Davenport, Christina Everett, Kilo Alexander, Emmalyn Anderson, Alecia Batson, Ellen Becker-Gray, Marshall Berenson, Ronald Boone, Paul Bronk, Jeff T. Buco, Ryan Butcher, Jeffrey Corazzini, Richard DeAgazio, Aaron Dorsey, Alexandra East, Jquelyn Fabian, Shawn Fogarty, Evan Fonseca, John Franchi, Sophia Gilberto, Enku Gubaie, Rosemary Howard, Frankie Imbergamo, Mike Jablon, Olivia Jordan, Kahdiak, J. Parker Kent, Seamus Knight, Ren Knopf, Mark Kubr, Kathy Lashay Berenson, James L. Leite, Daniel Lowney, Phyllis Lynn, Tom Mariano, Rob Marin, Jeff Martineau, Sara Murphy, Ken Murray, Allan Oliveira, Ted Oyama, Richard Pacheco, Chris Palermo, Joseph Paolo, Laura Pizzuti, David Pulson, Stacey Queripel, Donna Glee Reim, Kayla Ruhl, Megan Sacco, Nicole Signore, Matthew Spinale, Sean Daniel Stentiford, Stream, Shannon Elaine Sweeney, John Talalas, Ally Tully, Jamie Christopher White, Luke Young, Jason Clark, John Jacobs, Mark Kamine, Joseph J. Micucci, Scott Stuber, Wellesley Wild, Walter Murphy, Michael Barrett, Jeff Freeman, Sheila Jaffe, Stephen J. Lineweaver, Kyra Friedman, Carla Antonino, Liz Berstrom, Carol Dantuono, Mark Kamine, Holly Rymon, Eric Heffron, Dylan Hopkins, Elizabeth MacSwan, Mike McGuirk, Richard Oswald, Brad Robinson, Scott Rogers, Christopher Sadler, Alison Troy, Jason Allard, Beth Anderson, Bobby Anderson, Shadya H. Balluq, Alix Belleville, Justin Bliss, Doug Cluff, Bryan Felty, Tom Williams, Mark Norby, Dana Reed, Kirk Bloom, Mark Vargo, David Adkins, Alyssa Barnes, John Burke, Amiee Clark, Ryan Cook, Jeff Crandell, Kelly Cronin, Sean Patrick Doherty, Kathryn Farino, Ethan Fox, Donna Glasser-Hancock, Timothy J. Gorman, Anna Gossman, Tim Haber, Chase Hall, Michael Harker, Jacob Head, Matthew Herman, Henry Humphreys, Elliot Kahan, Shea Kammer, Kate Kelly, Brady Kephart, Katie Kramer, Ashley Kravitz, Tim LaDue, Scott Levine, Jeff Maclean, Ruben Malaret, Jeffery Mannarini, Matthew Mayer, Joseph J. Micucci, Bryson Mooso, Cameron Morton, Julia Nemerow, Nick Noyes, Michael Oxton, Maria Palazon, Kevin Pasdon, Michael Peavey, Sean Perry, Michelle Poole, Brendan Potter, Jaydi Samuels, Cory Scott, Claire Severance, Shannon Shea, Missy Simms, James Slater, Cyndal Todd, Neil Tuli, Stephen Turro, Michael Twombly, Lorenzo Vigil, Alex Wayne, Peter Wentzel, Kit Wiltanen, Steve York, Dawn Bardan, Ryan SpenserIn America, they are called hallucinations.

In Finland, a hangover.

“Ted” is about a kid who am had a 35-year hangover?

O.K.,Hollywood – I’m ready.

Plot?  Crazy, crazy plot!

Young John has and only friend – a cuddly teddy bear, a Christmas present – through an accidental magic, the bear arises to life, talk, and have feelings such as its new owner.

Since he’s a kid and not on the sweet, sweet smoke, shock happens – then goes away.

Ted of a media sensation will appear even with Johnny Carson as guest on the Tonight Show – Ed McMahon (probably drunk on the whiskey) thought Ted was ALF.

Funny!  80’s joke, for the win!

As the years go on, John (Mark Wahlberg, almost as funny as in “The Happening”) and Ted (Seth MacFarlane – as Peter Griffin as a Teddy Bear, with better taste in the woman-whores) to remain roommates, that’s it.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Kimmo Mustonenen, Behind the Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Ted, Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild, Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Joel McHale, Giovanni Ribisi, Patrick Warburton, Matt Walsh, Jessica Barth, Aedin Mincks, Bill Smitrovich, Patrick Stewart, Norah Jones, Sam J. Jones, Tom Skerritt, Bretton Manley, Ralph Garman, Alex Borstein, John Viener, Laura Vandervport, Robert Wu, Ginger Gonzaga, Jessica Stroup, Melissa Ordway, Max Harris, Zane Cowans, T.J. Hourigan, Owen Clarke, Kristina Ellery, Katelyn Lorren, Chanty Sok, Sarah Fischer, Cassie Dierf, Joe Sirani, Pat Shea, Paul Campbell, Josh Duvendeck, Chris Cox, Henry Penzi, Talia Cabrera, Colton Shires, Viera Andrea Moya, Haejee Kim, Lydia Hannibal, Shawn Thornton, Eric Weinstein, Danny Smith, Mike Nikitas, Robin Hamilton, Mike Henry, Johnny Lee Davenport, Christina Everett, Kilo Alexander, Emmalyn Anderson, Alecia Batson, Ellen Becker-Gray, Marshall Berenson, Ronald Boone, Paul Bronk, Jeff T. Buco, Ryan Butcher, Jeffrey Corazzini, Richard DeAgazio, Aaron Dorsey, Alexandra East, Jquelyn Fabian, Shawn Fogarty, Evan Fonseca, John Franchi, Sophia Gilberto, Enku Gubaie, Rosemary Howard, Frankie Imbergamo, Mike Jablon, Olivia Jordan, Kahdiak, J. Parker Kent, Seamus Knight, Ren Knopf, Mark Kubr, Kathy Lashay Berenson, James L. Leite, Daniel Lowney, Phyllis Lynn, Tom Mariano, Rob Marin, Jeff Martineau, Sara Murphy, Ken Murray, Allan Oliveira, Ted Oyama, Richard Pacheco, Chris Palermo, Joseph Paolo, Laura Pizzuti, David Pulson, Stacey Queripel, Donna Glee Reim, Kayla Ruhl, Megan Sacco, Nicole Signore, Matthew Spinale, Sean Daniel Stentiford, Stream, Shannon Elaine Sweeney, John Talalas, Ally Tully, Jamie Christopher White, Luke Young, Jason Clark, John Jacobs, Mark Kamine, Joseph J. Micucci, Scott Stuber, Wellesley Wild, Walter Murphy, Michael Barrett, Jeff Freeman, Sheila Jaffe, Stephen J. Lineweaver, Kyra Friedman, Carla Antonino, Liz Berstrom, Carol Dantuono, Mark Kamine, Holly Rymon, Eric Heffron, Dylan Hopkins, Elizabeth MacSwan, Mike McGuirk, Richard Oswald, Brad Robinson, Scott Rogers, Christopher Sadler, Alison Troy, Jason Allard, Beth Anderson, Bobby Anderson, Shadya H. Balluq, Alix Belleville, Justin Bliss, Doug Cluff, Bryan Felty, Tom Williams, Mark Norby, Dana Reed, Kirk Bloom, Mark Vargo, David Adkins, Alyssa Barnes, John Burke, Amiee Clark, Ryan Cook, Jeff Crandell, Kelly Cronin, Sean Patrick Doherty, Kathryn Farino, Ethan Fox, Donna Glasser-Hancock, Timothy J. Gorman, Anna Gossman, Tim Haber, Chase Hall, Michael Harker, Jacob Head, Matthew Herman, Henry Humphreys, Elliot Kahan, Shea Kammer, Kate Kelly, Brady Kephart, Katie Kramer, Ashley Kravitz, Tim LaDue, Scott Levine, Jeff Maclean, Ruben Malaret, Jeffery Mannarini, Matthew Mayer, Joseph J. Micucci, Bryson Mooso, Cameron Morton, Julia Nemerow, Nick Noyes, Michael Oxton, Maria Palazon, Kevin Pasdon, Michael Peavey, Sean Perry, Michelle Poole, Brendan Potter, Jaydi Samuels, Cory Scott, Claire Severance, Shannon Shea, Missy Simms, James Slater, Cyndal Todd, Neil Tuli, Stephen Turro, Michael Twombly, Lorenzo Vigil, Alex Wayne, Peter Wentzel, Kit Wiltanen, Steve York, Dawn Bardan, Ryan SpenserHowever, the troubles arise when Ted is in the way of the present, with John of the romance with his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis – she made a stiffening in my area) interfere on the search for something more serious and bear-free.

As for Ted, he writes letters to the Hasbro over his tiny little pecker thingy.

I have just accepted mine.

Although Extenze may be in the future used. Kimmo’s women must be happy!  They are always happy.

Really.

Much man on bear comedy follows.

Funny.

Vulgar.

Funny again.

More of the vulgar.

The just the damn funny.

So, two thumbs as straight in the air as my man-ness when Mila Kunis appears on the film.

That’s pretty damn straight!

See this movie.

Although my “Magic Mike” disappointment still leaves a discomfort, I am happy.

Now for kossu shots and weed.  “Ted” was a success!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Behind The Proscenium, Kyrle Lendhoffer, Reese Witherspoon, Water For Elephants, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Richard Brake, Stephen Monroe Taylor, Ken Foree, Scott MacDonald, James Frain, Sam Anderson, John Aylward, Brad Greenquist, Tim Guinee, Donna W. Scott, E.E. Bell, Kyle Jordan, Aleksandra Kaniak, Ilia Volok, Bruce Gray, Jim Jansen, James Keane, Ivo Nandi, Karynn Moore, Andrew Connolly, Doug McDougal, Tracy Phillips Rowan O'Hara, Water for Elephants, Tai, Uggie, Ice, Sita Acevedo, Danny Castle, Michael Coronas, Aloysia Gavre, Francis Lawrence, Andrew R. Tennenbaum, Erwin Stoff, Gil Netter, Kevin Halloran, Alan Edward Bell, Ana Maria Quintana, Chad Holmes, David Crank, Denise Chamian, Molly Allen, Sasha Veneziano, Kimmo MustonenenKimmo Mustonenen – (Kimmo On Kino) – Behind The Proscenium

P.S.  I have just learned that “Magic Mike” was about the man strippers.  Avoided!  WTF!?!  Maybe the lucky Kimmo is returning…

P.P.S.  “The Glee Project.”  Charlie kid is defining assholishness.  First, he blabs about himself like he is another of him (Editors note:  We believe he means Charlie was talking about himself in the third person).  Only one word for Charlie, in any language blabbed:  douche-bag.  Nina was cute.  Blind guy and fat chick were not so much for irritation.  But Charlie must be slapped.  In the face.  Hard.

10 comments

  1. Mr. Cranium · June 29, 2012

    Yeah, I’ll pass.

    Ted sounds like he would have owned slaves, voted against ObamaCare and voted against equal rights for women. He ain’t cute and he ain’t cuddly. And I can see this ‘character’ on Faux News 365-24-7 without dropping a dime into McFarlane’s Cayman account.

  2. Megan R. · June 29, 2012

    How does Mark Wahlberg keep getting roles in movies? Unfair!

  3. Pixel Doll · June 29, 2012

    This is such a terrific summer for kid movies. Madagascar 3, Brave, Ice Age: Continental Drift, and now this cute movie with a talking teddy bear in it. My 8 & 6 year old are sure to enjoy!

    • Heavy G · June 29, 2012

      Ted is perfect for children!

  4. Dave · June 29, 2012

    Great review Kimmo! I’m not even a Family Guy fan or a Seth McFarlane fan for that matter, but this movie looks freaking great!! I’m very stoked to see it in about 7 hours from now. Any movie that has a bong-hitting stuffed animal AND Mila Kunis has my vote!!

  5. puhleez · June 29, 2012

    thanks for the review
    but I won’t waste my money on this crap

  6. gooch · June 29, 2012

    I despise Seth McFarlane and his brand of humor, (insert rant here*) so I doubt I would see this even with those thumbs in the air. He is a Simpsons thief and a asshole opportunist. And now he’s rich. So I guess I lose.

  7. Dr. Cooper · June 29, 2012

    Glad you avoided Magic Mike. Ted looks terrible also. Spider-man is coming. That should make you happy.

  8. Plan B · June 29, 2012

    Saw the movie last night! The whole audience laughed a lot. I haven’t heard that much laughter in a theatre for a long time. Good times had by all.

  9. dallas daniel hessler junior · June 29, 2012

    i am goin’ 2 c it after camp next thurs