ROAD HOUSE (PRIME VIDEO) – [REVIEW] Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal Director: Doug Liman Okay, so I watch this remake on Amazon Prime. First, let me say, it is like hot sauna on a cold winter night. You know, makes you sweat, but in a good way,…
THE FIRST OMEN [REVIEW] Say, pals, gather ’round and lend an ear to the tale of “The First Omen.” A flick that’s got more twists and turns than a back alley in the Bronx. Directed by none other than that cinematic maestro, Arkasha Stevenson, this…
Independence Day: Resurgence With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen “Kimmo, you were gone again. W in TF, crazy Finn?” You asked this of me. My fingers now answer. I could not write from the jail house. We were too busy a singin’ that rock. Baby!…
Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen What a returning for me. Back to the cinema. Back to finger thoughts on computers. Back to Kossu (thank you Odin). Time to write. “Where was the Kimmo?” you may all have asked –…
It Follows With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen I am still thinking diseases. First Disney Measles. And now, something more worse – Shtup Monsters. One is infecting you in the Disneyland, the other jumps the weenie (or Fort Cootchie if a woman-type) in the back…
Cinderella With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen I have for a while, been away. Not for purpose, but because damn dumb bad. I had measles. Not any measles. Disneyland Measles. Some disease child left his funk on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride and then I was…
Lucy With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Things that I, Kimmo, only use 10% of: 1) Muscles. Hard to be massive Super-Finn when keyboard is stuck to finger ends and I must drink Kossu and smoke for you people for the movies to know of…
The Purge: Anarchy With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen There was the time. Russians. Staring at border places. “We are cool, with big meat,” was the Russian brain. Then to war they went. “Fuck you, Stalin Bitches” said Finland. We were the winners. 1940? Finland…
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes With Wit, Reviewed by Kimmo Mustonenen Times are things that make men weep. Most men. Not Finns. We are not the weeping types for being told “no” to World Cupping. They let the Swedes (bastards) World Cup. More…
X-Men: Days of Future Past With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Damn. Sometimes, a guy, with a drunk mind wants to see a movie. This is all right. Why not? Then comes a movie with before a course in the college of your choice you…
Godzilla With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Godzilla. GodZIRRA. Big em-effin’ lizard. I am so with the exciting. As a baby Finn, in Finland, I saw him. “T.V. Scary So That You Pee Pants and Poop Young Children” horror Night Theater was on the television…
Draft Day With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen It is almost the time when fretting must be done. Worry. Fret. The time of “cinema suck.” Summer movie blitz. Damn… but what is to happen must be happening – it is the way of the world….
Son Of God With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen There are things beyond our seeing. Understanding is the impossible. But they are real. Really. Some are good (Casper The Friendly Ghost, Caspar in Finland). Some are not (Magneto). Some are old (Dracula). Some are new…
Pompeii With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen This did not happen – yet the reality would make a fool of he who ignored what did not happen, yet happened… in reality. In the cinema. With the greatest comedy ever being made – the soon to…
RoboCop With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen I don’t want to sound like a bitch bitching. Yet things are forever the same. Scene: Interior: Hollywood. Oldsters with the graying heads talk. Oldster One: I have no idea of anything. Oldster Two: I have to poop. Oldster Three: Back in…