21 Jump Street With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen First, a truth. In a second week – I was having the déjà vu, right in my face. Something else from my happy child times is under attack. From Hollywood. The greatest showing in television that…
John Carter With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen This week starts with a happiness explosion from my head mind (but not in the pants, dirty people). “Kimmo, you are the man with a bag of lucky!” say I, Kimmo, to the self inside. You see,…
Project X With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Thanks to Odin. Much thanks. Why? Tuesday, with the fact that Tuesday must happen, happens. Tuesday? Reviewing assignments for Friday. My mind is sweating mind thoughts: “Please Odin, if I am to review that damn “Lorax” movie,…
Wanderlust With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Sad writing times still sad. To you, one less ferret. To me, one less heart string by rodent warmed (Ed. Note – see last week. Sad.). Movies? Films? Cinema? Do now I even care? Well. Yes. I am…
Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Many apologies for the writing lack for two weeks. Fluffy the Wonder Ferret, greatest animal in history, crossed the Rainbow Bridgeand now feasts on ferret food with Jesus – and other ferrets who also…
Man On A Ledge With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Action and adventure in January? What is this film “Man on a Ledge”? Is Hollywood sucking more smoky bong openings than film reviewers (ME!)? Oh, my mind anticipates with wet quivering smart action fun. Also…
The Artist With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Confusion. In the cinema. Topped off with Kossu shots. Warm. Now for the reviewing the movie I see. Then sick joke! 4:3 picture. Black and white. No talking. WTF?!? Elaborate joke on Kimmo? Alcohol time travelling? Heaven?…
Coriolanus With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen What? Not 100% CGI? No robot alien things? Am I high (yes, I am)? Then soldiers. My brain screams – You are within the stuck times of “Battle: Los Angeles!” The worst of fates that mine could be……
The Iron Lady With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen WTF?!? My mind is a stream of mud. Confusion. Weed. Not reading the press kit. “The Iron Lady” is not a sequel to “The Iron Giant”. The excitement made my area hurt. Meryl Streep vs. Vin…
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Sweden. Bastards. While us, the Finns, fought Soviet Russia the Swedes ate butter, fish, and those damn crap meatballs. In same war (World War II, retards) we fight and fight. Sweden? Neutral (sissy…
Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen Okay, Hollywood, I give. It is FUN to see great literary figure turned into 19th century James Bond. There must always be explosions. CGI must be in every movie ever made. See, Hollywood?…
New Year’s Eve With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen New Year’s Eve. Really? A painless romantic comedy with 20 big stars about 10 different stories twisted together with a background in New York (New York). Beyond the site (New York, dumb ass), time is the…
The Descendants With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen I begged for a savior. A savior from the sameness of the same that is bad. A savior from having to drink “Twilight” out of my brain thoughts until I had beach ball liver and bloody stool….
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen First – the coming of the clean. Yes. I’m jealous. Robert Pattinson has the hair of a god. A messy hipster god, but god hair is god hair. I want some. Now…
“The Immortals” With Wit, Reviewed By Kimmo Mustonenen “The Immortals” is crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. That is my review. But the editor says I must write more words than “crap.” O.K. – it is also turd sandwich in… 3D! Story? We have in…