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Fox News Declares Mitt Romney the Winner of the First Presidential Debate

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How is that possible? The debate doesn’t even happen until October 3rd. 

Here’s how: Fox News is really pushing a specific storyline about the upcoming debate. They are calling it “Do or Die” for Mitt Romney.

If that’s true, do you really expect the Fox News election team to sit there after the debate and say “Mitt Romney lost the Presidency tonight”?  “Boy did he lose that one.”  “I’ve never seen such a horrible performance.”  “Barack Obama got my vote tonight.”

Of course not.

They will say, guaran-freakin-teed, that Mitt Romney easily defeated President Barack Obama in the debate. They’ll say “Romney was up against the wall and he came out fighting.”  “It was ‘Do or Die’ and Romney is still very much alive!” etc. etc. etc.

Romney could come out, stare into the camera and complete freeze up – never saying a word and Sean Hannity would say “Frankly, he was just speechless over how bad the Obama presidency has been.”

Romney could come out and throw up all over the stage and Limbaugh would say “It was a very real moment.  I wish more of our Presidential candidates would have the courage to throw up on national television.”

Romney could come out and punch Obama right in the mouth and Hannity would say “It was great. He was just expressing how so many Americans feel about President Obama’s job performance.”

He could do that bit about holding a gun to a puppy’s head and say “Vote for me or the dog gets it” and Ann Coulter would say “See, he likes animals. He didn’t actual shoot that dog.”

There is absolutely no question about. I’m sure they already writing the script for Wednesday night’s broadcast. They don’t need to see the debate to decide what they are going to say. That’s for the losers in the real news business.

According to Fox News (and many others on the Right), Mitt Romney has won a debate that hasn’t even happened.

And that’s some seriously fucked up shit.

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P.S. – And spare me the “But NBC News has already decided Barack Obama is the winner of the debate…” argument – nobody is as predictable or as harmful to the country as Fox News.

 

58 comments

  1. Dougie · September 27, 2012

    I think the lady pretty darn much nailed this one! Sounds exactly how they are going to play it. And for that fact is why I block Fox News (Fox News is Fair and balanced, as Pravda is to Truth) on my receiver. I also block MSNBC, so I’m being fair.

  2. Shane · September 27, 2012

    Mitt doesn’t appear to be a zinger type of guy to me.

  3. Forty Seven Percent · September 27, 2012

    Romney will have a hard time winning any debates since, by his own words, 47% are always against him.

  4. Megan Lova · September 27, 2012

    As Megan Kelly said in 2008, polls don’t tell you anything, don’t trust them. This is only if Obama is ahead in the polls. Otherwise, the people have spoken.

  5. Rambo · September 27, 2012

    To tell the truth, I don’t really care for either one; however, I have to go with Romney because I think he will defend our country and if Obama gets it I don’t think there will be an America as we know it in 4 years. So, all I’ve got to say is: be careful what you wish for because you might get it and find out too late that you don’t want it.

    • Rumbo · September 27, 2012

      Unless you don’t wish for what you really want and then you won’t get what you don’t wish for. Except in the case where you really did want what you wished for and then it happens and you’re hoping that what you didn’t wish for doesn’t come true. How awful would that be?

  6. Alice Smith · September 27, 2012

    Oh please, lets ease up on Gov Romney a bit, he ran for president, it didnt work out, now lets concentrate and work alongside our real president. OBAMA 2012.

  7. Mallory · September 27, 2012

    Each voter who believes Romney and Ryan will help the middle class exists in a 1% of his or her own making.

    And that’s still not the 1% that Mitt actually favors.

  8. Fritz 40 · September 27, 2012

    I am a small business owner, would likely see a tax increase under Obama and here is why I’d vote for Obama:
    – Mitt Romney wants to cut my taxes and my small business’ taxes, at which point I’d say thank you, put the money in my IRA and move on. I am not hiring now because I do not need any more employees, there is no demand from my target market which is middle class Americans.
    Giving me and my business a tax cut is by no means going to make me hire more employees because there is no demand to justify hiring additional employees.
    I’d much rather see the tax cuts go to the middle class because putting more money in these people’s pockets could spar some demand, and if there is more demand for my business I will NEED to hire more employees at good salaries to meet that demand.

    Romney’s idea of giving me and my small business a tax cut and then I’ll magically just go out and hire people is incredibly wrong. There needs to be demand for me to hire employees, and unless the middle and lower income segments of the market have more money in their pockets there will not be further demand, which means I will not need to hire new employees. This is what Romney simply does not understand.

    • stic.man · September 27, 2012

      It’s nice to hear this from an actual business owner who can see past the initial windfall for the problems he would face down the line potentially. Thanks for this.

    • Jerry Z · September 27, 2012

      I can see why you’re a small business owner and not a large business owner. You have no sense of what drives the market. As a small business owner, you ARE the middle class. That’s the group that will benefit from Romney’s tax cuts. if your business gets a break, you might by additional supplies from other businesses too (don’t know what business you’re in…), etc. His idea of giving you a tax cut is NOT incredibly wrong – it’s the way capital markets work, and Romney is the only candidate who really understands this.

      Obama will still get a lot of votes, and might even win the election, but it won’t be because of his knowledge of economics. It will be because half of the country is content to sit on their asses and be dependent on the government for handouts, and they know that BO is the candidate who wants to take the money from those who work for it and give it to them.

  9. Lies · September 27, 2012

    Whatever Jill Kennedy. MSNBC is much worse than Fox. Do you seriously think they will say Mitt Romney won the debate?

    • Annie · September 27, 2012

      In what way is MSNBC much worse than Fox?

  10. Todd in DC · September 27, 2012

    Great, now I’m craving a Zingers snack cake.

  11. Historian · September 27, 2012

    George Bush threw up (on an Ambassadorial trip to Japan) and still won a second term, so maybe there’s hope for Romney 😀

  12. judas_priest · September 27, 2012

    Romney’s inept campaign so far is part of a sneaky strategy. People will now have such low expectations for him that a decent performance will be treated as a victory which could propel him into making a contest of this race,

    More seriously, a candidate whose “presidentialness” is at issue can “win” by not self-destructing in the first debate. The fact of the two appearing side by side and doing OK is a boost for the candidate who is perceived as not quite ready for prime time. This set of perceptions helped Kennedy against Nixon (“I guess he’s not so wet behind the ears after all”) and Reagan against Carter (“He doesn’t look or act like a madman with no idea about what he’s doing.”

    • steven chinn · September 27, 2012

      good point-judas (and some good music over the years). however that does need a “new” romney.

  13. steven chinn · September 27, 2012

    tomorrow night reps. will say their guy won, dems will say their guy prevailed, and in all likelihood many of us will bne awakened asking “what happened”. frankly these two guys will have been trained to within an inch of their lives (over-trained) knowing all the likely questions, and there will be a minimum of spontaneity, with prepared “Zingers’ randomly thrown in, probably with little comedic skill.
    in my mind i do not see any KO, nor any “gaffes” (though if there are, i’d rate romney the more likely to produce them) . romney will try to appear likeable, obama less professorial and we will be where we were before.
    that’s my prediction (which is probably a tad more likely than fox’s).

  14. Pingback: Dueling Fanatics » OnMedea
  15. Concerned Citizen · September 27, 2012

    Mr. Romney has an enormous problem that is going to last far beyond Election Day. His “47%” remarks at the Boca Raton fundraiser are, unfortunately for him, the only genuinely from the heart utterance he has made since he began running again for president on November 5, 2008, the day after Barack Obama became President-elect.

    All the nonsense he’s spouted about American exceptionalism, and taking America back, and singing God Bless America (including multiple stanzas that few have ever heard) are just pre-canned campaign boilerplate. It was all focus group tested, and he knew it was just something he had to say.

    But when he was behind closed doors with people just like him, he let his carefully tinted hair down, and said what he’d been holding back for so long, and dismissed as parasites nearly half of Americans.

    Even before the video was made public, not many voters genuinely liked Mr. Romney. But the lasting effect of his words is that voters now realize that he doesn’t really like them.