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Feb
07

Mitt Romney: It’s Time To Play The Mormon Card

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Joseph Smith, Thomas S. Monson, Elder Cook, Elder Nelson, Elder Holland, Elder Perry, Elder Bednar, George Romney, Ann Romney, Brigham YoungGood morning.

Normally I don’t use this space to write about politics (except when Newt Gingrich was a front runner and I felt if he became President America would be seriously f-cked), but now that it’s a two man race (Obama vs. Romney), I thought I would offer Mr. Romney some strategic advice to seriously put him over the top.

Mitt, it’s time to play the Mormon card.

As many of you know, Mitt Romney is a Mormon but you never hear him talk about it on the campaign trail. What the fuck is up with that?

He doesn’t talk about taxes. Though if it’s true and he has paid at least 13% every year for the past 10 years, then he is truly a dumbass. If you are very wealthy in this country, and I count myself as one, you would have to be a total moron to pay 13% or more. I paid a little less than 2% last year, I think (off the record).

It’s disturbing all the things he can’t talk about. Dude is hiding a whole bunch of shit while talking on the stump about more transparency in government.

But back to religion. What Republican presidential candidate has ever gone through the process without getting into the whole Jesus thing?

And it’s not even mentioned in his Bio on his own Presidential Campaign website.

Why?

Is he embarrassed for some reason?

Don’t the Tea Party freaks and people on the Right want their candidate to talk openly about religion and their love of God?

It seems like a real missed opportunity on Mr. Romney’s part.

I have a very simple solution for him… just show the world this video.

It’s a song called “I Believe” from the Broadway smash hit “The Book of Mormon”.

This show is so huge right now that it’s just plain stupid for Mitt not to leverage it to his advantage.

 

httpv://youtu.be/PHEqCXY2B-w

 

If enough people watch this video it could really put Mitt and the Mormon church in the White House and go a long way toward cutting into that huge Protestant/Catholic market share advantage.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Joseph Smith, Thomas S. Monson, Elder Cook, Elder Nelson, Elder Holland, Elder Perry, Elder Bednar, George Romney, Ann Romney, Brigham YoungSure, Mormonism isn’t just about Broadway shows, no coffee and helping the poor (I threw that last one in – maybe it’s true), it’s also about the World’s Tallest Polished Granite Shaft (in Vermont – at Joseph Smith’s birth place).

It’s also about… other things, I would imagine (I’m Jewish – so I’m not that versed on what goes on in the Mormon church – though Salt Lake City is very clean – and I’ve heard that choir is pretty good).

Most of my Hollywood liberal friends¬†(except Rupert but he’s a serial phone tapper so who cares who he votes for) will be supporting President Obama (and, yes, I attended¬†Jeffrey Katzenberg’s fund raiser last spring).

I, for one, have not made up my mind – but if Mitt Romney had the courage to stand up at the Republican convention and say: ¬†”I am a Mormon – and this is what I believe!” – it just might get me to vote for him (unless he goes all batshit Mormon and his eyes start to bug out).

It’s worth a shot, right? It’s either that or go down as a elitist prick who is not concerned about any of the crappy shit that is going on in the world.

Don’t hide from your religion, Mitt.

Use it to your advantage.

And I love that you’re stashing money in hidden bank accounts all around the world… ME, TOO!

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Permanent link to this article: http://mankabros.com/blogs/chairman/2012/02/07/mitt-romney-its-time-to-play-the-mormon-card/

18 comments

1 ping

  1. Elder Goldberg says:

    I am a Jewish man who converted to Mormonism. I really hate myself. And my Mormon brothers don’t like me much either. My Mormon sisters really don’t want to be around me. What a world. GO NEWT!

  2. Chris says:

    Willard himself is his largest liability. He opens his mouth and out comes the book of moron. (not to be confused as the book of mormon it is not a typo)

    Just watched a clip of him in Colorado. No warmnth, no feeling just some antimated pre recorded goog comming out of his mouth. When he runds out of recordings he “mispokes”.

    If he winds up being the GOP nominmie, the independents and the real conservatives will either run to Obama or Rosanne Barr.

  3. Ratatouille says:

    God I love that show!

  4. Mitt has no chance says:

    Let’s be serious here on this very unserious blog. Mitt Romney has no chance to become President. Zero chance. Republics won’t vote Obama instead of Romney. They just won’t vote. They are no inspired. Happy to wait another 4 years until a truly strong candidate can emerge. I just hope to God it’s not Sarah Palin.

  5. NMOF says:

    No need to air negative ads against Romney, he attacks himself from the left and from the right every other day.

    He is the serious republican candidate the republican establishment considers to be electable?

    Crazy!!

  6. Bill says:

    Remember – Gingrinch accused Romney of being able to speak French! he will be able to say of the poor “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche”

    I quite like the rainbow behind the world’s tallest Polished Granite Shaft. Nice.

    http://matteringsofmind.wordpress.com/

  7. Julia Peppers says:

    Ooooh – tough night for Mitt. And Prop 8 was deemed unconstitutional. What a day for poor little Mitt. Buck up there cowboy. The sun may rise tomorrow.

  8. WHAT? says:

    Mitt Romney lost Colorado? He may have lost the nomination.

  9. DMon707 says:

    Do you honestly think Romney can gain votes singing hits from the Book of Mormon? What planet did God give you for your own? He’d do better converting to Islam!

    1. Ralph says:

      It’s a joke, man. That’s how he loses the race. Though I don’t Mitt needs any help now.

  10. Kelly Mayfield says:

    Your article sounded interesting based on it’s title. I stopped reading when you used “f#*@ed” in the first sentence. Get some class and a larger vocabulary.

    1. Hans says:

      Well, fuck you. Do you like my vocabulary, you prudish cunt?

  11. Joe says:

    “I believe the Garden of Eden is in Jackson County, Missouri!”

    LOL!

    1. Harry Governick says:

      You misspelled the name of the state:

      “Missouri” should be “Misery”

  12. Oliver says:

    Mitt is already one step ahead. He has all those Mormon worker-bees strategically placed in major cities around the Globe (Tokyo, Mumbai, Beijing, etc) randomly approaching people on the street ( in their quaint black and white costumes) and saying “What You Talkin’ Bout, Willard?”.

  13. Harry Governick says:

    The video has apparently been blocked on “copyright grounds”. Try this YouTube link:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuMI2R79U7c

  14. Robbin Peter says:

    Awesome.

  15. Omar says:

    The video made LMFAO. You just gained a new follower to your awesome blog

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