Normally I don’t use this space to write about politics (except when Newt Gingrich was a front runner and I felt if he became President America would be seriously f-cked), but now that it’s a two man race (Obama vs. Romney), I thought I would offer Mr. Romney some strategic advice to seriously put him over the top.
Mitt, it’s time to play the Mormon card.
As many of you know, Mitt Romney is a Mormon but you never hear him talk about it on the campaign trail. What the fuck is up with that?
He doesn’t talk about taxes. Though if it’s true and he has paid at least 13% every year for the past 10 years, then he is truly a dumbass. If you are very wealthy in this country, and I count myself as one, you would have to be a total moron to pay 13% or more. I paid a little less than 2% last year, I think (off the record).
It’s disturbing all the things he can’t talk about. Dude is hiding a whole bunch of shit while talking on the stump about more transparency in government.
But back to religion. What Republican presidential candidate has ever gone through the process without getting into the whole Jesus thing?
Is he embarrassed for some reason?
Don’t the Tea Party freaks and people on the Right want their candidate to talk openly about religion and their love of God?
It seems like a real missed opportunity on Mr. Romney’s part.
I have a very simple solution for him… just show the world this video.
It’s a song called “I Believe” from the Broadway smash hit “The Book of Mormon”.
This show is so huge right now that it’s just plain stupid for Mitt not to leverage it to his advantage.
If enough people watch this video it could really put Mitt and the Mormon church in the White House and go a long way toward cutting into that huge Protestant/Catholic market share advantage.
Sure, Mormonism isn’t just about Broadway shows, no coffee and helping the poor (I threw that last one in – maybe it’s true), it’s also about the World’s Tallest Polished Granite Shaft (in Vermont – at Joseph Smith’s birth place).
It’s also about… other things, I would imagine (I’m Jewish – so I’m not that versed on what goes on in the Mormon church – though Salt Lake City is very clean – and I’ve heard that choir is pretty good).
Most of my Hollywood liberal friends (except Rupert but he’s a serial phone tapper so who cares who he votes for) will be supporting President Obama (and, yes, I attended Jeffrey Katzenberg’s fund raiser last spring).
I, for one, have not made up my mind – but if Mitt Romney had the courage to stand up at the Republican convention and say: ”I am a Mormon – and this is what I believe!” – it just might get me to vote for him (unless he goes all batshit Mormon and his eyes start to bug out).
It’s worth a shot, right? It’s either that or go down as a elitist prick who is not concerned about any of the crappy shit that is going on in the world.
Don’t hide from your religion, Mitt.
Use it to your advantage.
And I love that you’re stashing money in hidden bank accounts all around the world… ME, TOO!