Disney – Page 2

February 8, 2013February 12, 2013

NBC Is Saved!

OK – I know NBC has been on a really bad run lately – but things are definitely looking up!

I just received an email alert from the Hollywood Reporter announcing that Christina Ricci has agreed to star in…

wait for it…

GIRLFRIEND IN A COMA

After 87 years, NBC finally has a show to be proud of.

Bob Greenblatt has proven his brilliance and I can’t to hear what’s next:

Could it be – “My Boyfriend’s Got A Nail In His Head”?

“Dad’s Bleeding From The Ass… Again”

“What’s That Thing On Molly’s Face?”

The possibilities are endless.

All joking aside… Here’s who is really in a coma:

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

December 18, 2012December 23, 2012

2013: Endgame For Moguls

Allen & Company retreat, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Carol Bartz, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Gina Bianchini, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, Khan Manka, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media Company, Chase Carey, James Murdoch, Elisabeth Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Jim Gianopulos, Joel Klein, Jon Miller, Steve Burke, Michael Angelakis, Leslie Moonves, Philippe Dauman, Jeff Bewkes, John Martin, Howard Stringer, Rob Wiesenthal, Michael Lynton, John Malone, Greg Maffei, Haim Saban, David Zaslav, John Hendricks, Mike White, Edgar Bronfman, Len Blavatnik, Tim Armstrong, Peter Chernin, Tom Freston, Carol Bartz, Jerry Yang, Mark Pincus, Owen Van Natta, Brian Roberts, Jason Kilar, Wayne Willich, Reid Hoffman, Harvey Weinstein, Diane Von Furstenberg, Andrew Mason, Jason Kilar, Ben Horowitz, Gina Bianchini, Mark Pincus, Ali Pincus, Robert Wiesenthal, Tom Freston, Bing Gordon, Bill Gates, Chris Christie, Martin Sorrell, Eric Lefkofsky, Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Bezos, Tim Cook, Cory Booker, Michael Bloomberg, Joel Klein, Lachlan Murdoch, James Murdoch, Bobby Kotick, Marc Andreessen, Peter Thiel, Dick Costolo, Ross Levinsoh, Paul Sagan, Leslie Moonves, Tim Armstrong, Glenn Britt, Donald Graham, Kazuo Hirai, Howard Stringer, Jae-Yong Lee, Bryan Lourd, Ron Meyer, Brad Grey, Edmund Lee, Anthony Palazzo, John Malone, Chris Silbermann, Jim Berkus, Roger Goodell, David Stern, Chris Christie, Julius Genachowski, Erin Burnett, Charlie Rose, Becky Quick, Todd Davidson, Reed Hastings, Terry Semel, Jerry Yang, Ken Allen, Laurene Powell Jobs, Jean-Bernard Levy, Lucian Grainge, Jonathan Boyar, Mark Pincus, Michael Lynton, Mandy Tavakol, Mario Monti, Dave DeVoe, John Martin, Brian Roberts, David Zaslav, Mel Karmazin, Carol Bartz, Scott Thompson, Jason Kilar, King Abdullah II, Queen Rania, Queen Noor, #sv12, #Sunvalley2012, #allenco, Robert Johnson, Anne Sweeney, Brian Grazer, Michael Ovitz, Hiroshi Mikitani, Owen Van Natta, Don Mattrick

Old Hollywood just got another year older and closer to death.

In fact, it’s getting harder and harder for Old Hollywood to get out of bed in the morning.

Food doesn’t taste as good. Hangovers are a daily occurrence.

In short, Old Hollywood is not well.

And with each passing year, as movie studios and broadcast networks become increasingly irrelevant, my thoughts are about real estate.

What is going to happen to all those soundstages and sprawling campuses scattered around Los Angeles and the world when no one needs them anymore?

Soundstages built in the early 20th century by visionaries from Poland, Hungary, New York and Kansas City.

Clearly they won’t be used as much in the future as production costs for high quality content continue to drop and new visionary kids from everywhere else in the world are able to compete head-to-head with the best Hollywood writers and directors.

Perhaps they will be torn down and apartments built. But apartments in those areas are for young writers and actors who move to L.A. to chase that Hollywood dream.

They don’t have to move here anymore.

Perhaps one studio will be turned into a museum of what Hollywood used to look like.

It’s a lot of land, man, and the shopping mall business isn’t so good these days either.

It’s going to be a real problem one day.

As I said earlier this year, YouTube’s Original Content Strategy Is Working and that should put every remaining media mogul on high alert.

The 1975 when millions of families crowded the television on a SATURDAY NIGHT to watch one of the three networks is over.

Now, in all likelihood, a family of five is watching or doing five different things on a Saturday night (and the rest of the week for that matter).

And this has been true for a few years.

In 2013, another profound and symbolic pillar will crumble in the epic story of the Decline and Fall of the Hollywood Empire.

The Mogul.

2013 will see most of the remaining media moguls pathetically fade away from relevance with little fanfare. And that’s sad.

WHO IS LEAVING?

1. Sumner Redstone – Many would say he has already left (despite his attempt to look youthful with that shocking sprayed on orange hair). Sumner has desperately clung to power just as he clung to the side of the hotel ledge years ago to survive a fire. Sumner will be the first to leave in 2013 either by death or senility (though many would argue he has been dead and senile for the past 25 years).

2. Rupert Murdoch – Enough with this guy and his phone tapping and continued interest in buying newspapers. He’s done. There is an outside chance the family empire could continue if Rupert appointed his daughter Elisabeth to the top job (I would buy the stock if that happened). But his continue insistence on giving his idiot sons top jobs will, no doubt, destroy all that he spent his entire life building.

3. Barry Diller – Barry Diller is just tired of it all. Does anyone really think he is excited about owning Ben Silverman’s ridiculous company or CollegeHumor or The Daily Beast or Zwinky or Sports Pickle? Sail away, Barry. The media world no longer needs you. You had a good run. Now go get drunk.

4. Jeffrey Katzenberg – The last mogul standing of DreamWorks SKG (one of the last valiant attempts made to build a true media empire like the old days), Katzenberg will sell DreamWorks Animation for a few billion less than he would have hoped and leave the Hollywood scene. He will go on to become equally annoying in the Art Collection scene.

CLINGING TO POWER

1. The Weinstein Brothers (Harvey and Bob) – Despite several high profile movies (Silver Linings Playbook, The Master, Django Unchained) that will probably win quite a few awards this season, the Weinsteins are working with a business model from 1985. Attempted diversification into TV, publishing and interactive nearly cost them everything a few years ago. What they know is how to buy, market and get Awards for small to medium sized movies. And we know where that business is headed.

2. Ryan Kavanaugh – Calling him a mogul is generous (to say the least). Attempted mogul more like it. For some reason people keep giving him money. Hopefully, that stops soon and he is forced to land his helicopter not in Beverly Hills but somewhere out in Palmdale where he can live out his existence with a few other characters from “Day of the Locust.”

WHO IS STAYING?

Khan Manka, Jr. – Despite horrible performances year-over-year in both film and television (and publishing and music, etc.), Khan Manka, Jr. remains firmly at the top of the world’s largest media company. Even though he publicly states how much he hates the job and would rather be at his house in the Seychelles, he continues to stay year-after-year and I don’t see that changing anytime in the near or far future.

2. Thomas Tull (Legendary) – Even though Legendary is more of a high-end financing and production outfit than a media empire, Tull is eyeing much larger things and has the money to do it. How far he actually takes the media empire concept is the question. Is Legendary a new DreamWorks or actually something that will be successful?

3. Hed family of Rovio (Angry Birds) is the closest thing we have these days to a new generation media mogul (and I wish Raj, Mikael and Niklas Hed nothing but the best. DON’T SELL – BUILD!). Like Walt Disney and George Lucas before them, the Heds have a real chance to build an empire from a single group of characters. Their passion and ambition is infectious and they see enormous potential while others laugh in their face. The perfect scenario for global conquest.

—————–

So, 2013, endgame for moguls.

The big ones will fall.

Some smaller ones may rise (on a lower scale).

It will never be the same.

Where is Ted Turner when you really need him?

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – John Malone and Brian Roberts may be considered moguls in today’s terms. I just find them too boring to write about.

October 15, 2012October 15, 2012

NICKMOM – R.I.P.

Adam Townsend, Alan Ruck, Amy Baer, Angeline Straka, Anthony Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Brendan Fraser, Bruce S. Gordon, Bruce Tobey, Carl Folta, Carla Santos Shamberg, CBS Films, Charlie Gifford, Chase Carey, David Andelman, David Poltrack, Debbie Miller, DebManka Bros., Diego Velazquez, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Geeta Anand, Gil Schwartz, Harrison Ford, Harvey Weinstein, Jared Harris, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Jordana Glick-Franzheim, Joseph A. Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Rothstein, Jr., Keri Russell, Khan Manka, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Meredith Droeger, Michael Shamberg, Nan Morales, News Corporation, OnMedea, Patrick Bauchau, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Sullivan, Richard Jones, Rik Toulon, Rob Friedman, Robert Nelson Jacobs, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Hall, Shari Redstone, Stacey Sher, Steven Friedlander, Summit Entertainment, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Weinstein Company, Thomas Dooley, Tom Vaughan, Viacom, Wade Davis, William S. Cohen, CBS Films is dead

It’s very possible Nickmom will set the record for the world’s shortest running network.

There is no other option for this laughable disgrace than a total cancellation.

In fact, there are only three absolute certainties in this life:

1) The sun will rise in the east;

2) July 4th will occur every year on… July 4th; and

3) Nickmom will be shut down.

Such a complete creative and business abomination cannot possibly survive.

The tombstone graphic here may be a bit premature but it’s guaranteed to be accurate.

So, for the readers who have no idea what I’m talking about – what is this Nickmom that is almost universally hated by parents (mostly Moms)?

Nickmom is a primetime adult-skewing programming block (airing on the same channel as Nick Junior) designed for exhausted moms looking for a laugh or some edgier entertainment after the kids go to bed.

What’s wrong with that, Jill?

What do you have against exhausted moms looking for a laugh?

Absolutely nothing. I’m a proud exhausted mom myself who loves HBO.

But when you make a corporate decision to put on a programming block of comedians talking about sex and cocktails, shows called “Moms Night Out,” etc. etc. right after “Dora The Explorer” signs off, you clearly do not understand how the media landscape works.

Nickmom starts airing at 4pm in Hawaii for God’s sake! And 7PM in California (which is definitely before my daughter’s bedtime).

The biggest problem I have with Nickmom is not a content issue (though it’s really awful – painful to watch). The biggest problem I have with Nickmom is that it is a stupid idea badly executed.

And the ratings are bearing that out as noted by the Wall Street Journal (this is becoming a national story) – 74% decline in two weeks.

There is also a website that has been launched by angry parents – CancelNickMom.com.

Hey Viacom – are you hearing any of this?

People hate it. Drop it. Bring back “Bubble Guppies!”

I always wonder how these epic fails in business happen. This one is stunning.

Nickmom is an idea obviously hatched by out-of-touch corporate executives who think whatever they throw up on the screen (‘throw up’ being key words) will be gobbled up by the masses. They probably imagined their in-boxs filling up with “Thank yous” from weary, under-entertained moms from around the country.

They probably sat there at lunchtime brain-storming sessions falling off their seats with laughter when the suggestion for a tagline came up… “What about ‘Motherfunny’?” “‘Motherfunny’? Oh, my God, that is fucking hilarious! It sounds like “mother fucker” but it’s actually “motherfunny!”

The room cannot stop laughing for several minutes. The coldcuts, fruit plates and cookie platters just sit there as middle-aged men (and a lucky female or two including the female VP in charge of Nickmom) howl with laughter at how awesome they are.

And then a branding exec chimes in: “But it’s perfect for what we’re trying to accomplish. We’re making mothers laugh.”

Another exec: “And no one needs laughs more than mothers!”

A marketing exec chimes in to make it all relevant: “And ‘motherfunny’ gives it that edge we’re looking for. These aren’t your father’s mothers anymore. Advertisers are going to eat this shit up!”

I’m not going to pound the point anymore and this isn’t a cry from a concerned parent who is worried about the moral fabric of our country – I know how to keep bad stuff away from my daughter, thank you.

But, face it, this is a horrible idea and it needs to killed.

And… it will be. Soon. Guaranteed.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

August 1, 2012August 1, 2012

AMPAS Looks To The Future

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Producers Guild of America, 2011 nominations, Steven Spielberg, Mark Gordon, Hawk Koch, Gary Lucchesi, Hayma "Screech" Washington, Shuler Donner, Gale Anne Hurd, John Hadity, Marshall Herskovitz, Jeffrey Lerner, Chris Thomes, Amy Jacobson Kurokawa, Darla K. Anderson, Fred Baron, Jerome Calimeri, Bruce Cohen, Kathleen Courtney, Maureen Dooling, Tracey Edmonds, Shoshanna R. Ezra, James Fino, Tim Gibbons, Richard Gladstein, Gary Goetzman, Brian Grazer, Sarah Green, Vanessa Hayes, Rachel Klein, Christina Lee Storm, Megan Mascena-Gaspar, Chris Pfaff, David Picker, Lydia Dean Pilcher, Judy Race, Alison Savitch, Paula Wagner, Stephen C. Grossman, George A. Sunga, Dana Kuznetzkoff, Mark Marabella, David Fox, Jeff Gomez, John Hoffman, Nelle Nugent, Amy Robinson, Peter Saraf, Roger Birnbaum, Ian Bryce, Donald DeLine, David Friendly, Ali LeRoi, Lori McCreary, Erin O'Malley, David Picker, Lydia Dean Pilcher, Cathy Schulman, Josh Schwartz, Karen Spiegel, Mike Tollin, Paula Weinstein, James Fino, Kendall Allen, Michael Bellavia, Dina Benadon, Laurent Bouzereau, Mariana Danilovic, Jeanette DePatie, Shawn Gold, John Heinsen, Derek Hildebrandt, Charlotte Huggins, Sophia Kim, Cindy Pound, Marc Scarpa, Deborah Todd, Chris Williams, Felicia Wong, Susan Zwerman, Jeff Lerner, Kimberly Austin, Christina Lee Storm, Suzette Brown, Jerome Calimeri, Carrie Certa, David Hartle, Susan Sherayko, Rebecca Graham Forde, Terra Abroms, Derek Bartholomaus, Wendy Wallace, Maureen Dooling, Jen Haire, RJ Hume, John Peterman, Mitchell Ferm, Allen Maris, Vance Van Petten, Chris Green, Nikki Livolsi, Kyle Katz, Jo-Ann West, Bryce Averitt, Diane Salerno, Erik Bogh, Will Bryan, Scott Bengston, Mitzie Rothzeid, Patrick Gerety, Ben Silverman, Colin Firth, Harrison Ford, Jake Gyllenhaal, Laura Linney, James McAvoy, Mo'Nique, Julianne Moore, Christoph Waltz, Colleen Atwood, Milena Canonero, Betsy Heimann, Judianna Mokovsky, Ha Nguyen, Ken Adam, Rick Carter, Lilly Kilvert, Rusty Smith, George DeTitta, K.C. Fox, nancy Haigh, Leslie Pope, Sandy Reynolds Wasco, Russ Alsobrook, Robbie Greenberg, Julio Macat, Hiro Narita, Amelia Vincent, Wes Anderson, Roger Corman, Lasse Hallstrom, Mike Leigh, Errol Morris, Lone Scherfig, Joe Berlinger, Liz Garbus, Alex Gibney, Mark Lewis, Julia Reichert, Michael Barker, Peter Chernin, Camela Galano, Brad Grey, Lisa Henson, Bill Mechanic, Robert Shaye, Patrick Wachsberger, David Brenner, Lisa Zeno Churgin, Lynzee Klingman, Michael Tronick, Billy Weber, Lois Burwell, David Marti, Montse Ribe, Ve Neill, Aldo Signoretti, Kazuhiro Tsuji, Bryan Adams, Eric Clapton, The Edge, Michael Giacchino, Suzana Peric, Dean Pitchford, Arthur Cohn, Eric Fellner, Samuel Goldwyn, Charles Roven, Jennifer Todd, Suzanne Todd, Duncan Clark, Therese Curtin, Rob Friedman, Nancy Utley, Jochen Alexander Freydank, Martin McDonagh, Dean Parisot, Signe Baumane, Sharon Calahan, Pete Docter, Chris Landreth, Bill Plympton, Wendy Tilby, Chris Wedge, Karen Baker Landers, Willie Burton, Benjamin Burtt, Anthony Ciccolini, Mary Jo Lang, Virginia Cook-McGown, Dean Zupancic, Eric Brevig, John Frazier, Michele Moen, Mark Stetson, Hoyt Yeatman, Hossein Amini, Judd Apatow, Guillermo Arriaga, Diablo Cody, Geoffrey Fletcher, Christopher Hampton, Robin Swicord, Grover Crisp, Ray Dolby, Sarah Halley Finn, Ron Stein, Beverly Joanna Wood, Peter Dinklage, Jennifer Hudson, Wes Studi, Michelle Williams, Pedro Almodovar, Lisa Cholodenko, Christopher Nolan, John Singleton, Kathleen Bennett, Bono, T Bone Burnett, Pablo Helman, Van Ling, Helena Packer, Lynzee Klingman, Demian Bichir, George Clooney, Jean Dujardin, Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt, Kenneth Branagh, Jonah Hill, Nick Nolte, Christopher Plummer, Max Von Sydow, Glenn Close, Viola Davis, Rooney Mara, Meryl Streep, Michelle Williams, Berenice Bejo, Jessica Chastain, Melissa McCarthy, Janet McTeer, Octavia Spencer, Alain Gognol, Jean-Loup Felicioli, Fernando Trueba, Javier Mariscal, Jennifer Yuh Nelson, Chris Miller, Gore Verbinski, Robert Gould, Stuart Craig, Stephenie McMillan, Dante Ferretti, Francesca Lo Schiavo, Anne Seibel, Helene Dubreuil, Rick Carter, Lee Sandales, Guillaume Schiffman, Jeff Cronenweth, Robert Richardson, Emmanuel Lubezki, Janusz Kaminski, Lisy Christl, Mark Bridges, Sandy Powell, Michael O'Connor, Arianne Phillips, Michel Hazanavicius, Alexander Payne, Martin Scorsese, Woody Allen, Terrence Malick, Danfung Dennis, Mike Lerner, Marhsal Curry, Sam Cullman, Joe Berlinger, Bruce Sinofsky, Wim Wenders, Gian-Piero Ringel, TJ Martin, Dan Lindsay, Richard Middlemas, Robin Fryday, Gail Dolgin, Rebecca Cammisa, Julie Anderson, James Spione, Daniel Junge, Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy, Lucy Walker, Kira Carstensen, Anne-Sophie Bion, Kevin Tent, Kirk Baxter, Angus Wall, Thelma Schoonmaker, Christopher Tellefesn, Martial Corneville, Lynn Johnston, Matthew Mungle, Nick Dudman, Amanda Knight, Lisa Tomblin, Mark Coulier, J. Roy Helland, John Williams, Ludovic Bource, Howard Shore, Alberto Iglesias, Bret McKenzie, Sergio Mendes, Carlinhos Brown, Siedah Garrett, Thomas Langmann, Jim Burke, Jim Taylor, Scott Rudin, Brunson Green, Chris Columbus, Michael Barnathan, Graham King, Letty Aronson, Stephen Tenenbaum, Michael De Luca, Rachael Horovitz, Kathleen Kennedy, Patrick Doyon, William Joyce, Brandon Oldenburg, Enrico Casarosa, Grant Orchard, Sue Goffe, Amanda Forbis, Wendy Tilby, Peter McDonald, Eimear O'Kane, Max Zahle, Stefan Gieren, Terry George, Oorlagh George, Andrew Bowler, Gigi Causey, Hallvar Witzo, Lon Bender, Victor Ray Ennis, Ren Kylce, Philip Stockton, Eugene Gearty, Ethan Van der Ryn, Erik Aadahl, Richard Hymns, Gary Rydstrom, David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce, Bo Persson, Tom Fleischman, John Midgley, Deb Adair, Ron Bochar, David Giammarco, Ed Novick, Greg Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey Haboush, Peter Devlin, Gary Rydstrom, Andy Nelson, Tom Johnson, Stuart Wilson, Tim Burke, David Vickery, Greg Butler, John Richardson, Rob Legato, Joss Williams, Ben Grossman, Alex Henning, Erik Nash, John Rosengrant, Dan Taylor, Swen Gillberg, Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, R. Christopher White, Daniel Barrett, Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Matthew Butler, John Frazier, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash, John Logan, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon, Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin, Stan Chervin, Bridget O'Connor, Peter Straughan, Annie Mumolo, Kristin Wiig, J.C. Chandor, Asghar Farhadi

Hawk Koch was named President of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences today.

Like his aggressive name suggests, this is a bold choice from an extremely bold organization.

To have the balls to choose the old media film producer son of an old media Hollywood mogul is the kind of cutting edge change necessary to keep AMPAS relevant.

I have a feeling this is going to be one of the greatest years in the history of the Academy.

Here’s what we can expect:

There will be a double-digit increase in cocktail parties under Mr. Koch’s reign.

The words “digital transition” and “Netflix” will be officially banned from Academy headquarters.

$100 million will be raised for the AMPAS Museum (from various cocktail parties and galas to honor other old media executives) which will be a great gathering place for old media types to have cocktails and watch newly-restored prints of “Citizen Kane.”

Don Rickles (because Henny Youngman is dead) will be approached to host the Oscars. “Hey, he’s still funny! And the 18-49s love him!”

… and on and on.

Very exciting stuff.

Glad to see the giant vacuum bubble that was put in place over Beverly Hills in order to keep fresh ideas out is still secure.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Now I can see why my boss, Khan Manka, Jr., has such a problem with the organization.

July 6, 2012October 17, 2012

YouTube’s Original Content Strategy Is Working

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, YouTube Original Channels, Google, Larry Page, Eric E. Schmidt, Sergey Brin, Nikesh Arora, David Drummond, Patrick Pichette, Alan Eustace, Amit Singhal, Andy Rubin, Dennis Woodside, Jeff Huber, Kent Walker, Laszlo Bock, Rachel Whetstone, Salar Kamangar, Shona Brown, Sridhar Ramaswamy, Sundar Pichai, Susan Wojcicki, Urs Hoelzle, Vic Gundotra, L. John Doerr, Diane B. Greene, John L. Hennessy, Ann Mather, Paul S. Otellini, K. Ram Shriram, Shirley M. Tilghman, Hank Green, Kim Rosen, Alex Gibney, Gilbert Gottfried, Richard Belzer, Robert Kyncl, John Green, Felicia Day, Jennifer Garner, America Ferrera, Gotham Chopra, Deepak Chopra, Jon Avnet, Amy Poehler, Rainn Wilson, Jay-Z, Rodrigo Garcia, Virginia Madsen, Julia Stiles, ClevverStyle, Fawn, HelloStyle, Look TV, The Stylish, u look haute, my damn channel, the onion, danceon, ds2dio, american hipster, awesomeness, bammo, blackbox tv, geek & sundry, mymusic, the nerdish channel, cartoon hangover, yomyomf, young hollywood network

That’s a frightening headline for the Hollywood studios.

It wasn’t supposed to work.

It was an ill-planned experiment that was supposed to fail.

Seriously, who would watch that crap?

Well… give one point to Silicon Valley in the Great Content Wars of 2012.

(This doesn’t mean I’m giving any sort of credit to that jerk Paul Graham – who issued a war on Hollywood. Graham and Y Combinator, in my opinion, represent all that is bad in Silicon Valley.)

When YouTube announced last year that they would put up $100 million dollars to fund original content channels, no one in Hollywood gave it much notice.

What most people expected was something like Paul Rudd walking around, eating Doritos and throwing out non-sequitors.

Basically, that no one would give a shit or watch – and if they did, big companies certainly wouldn’t throw any advertising money at it.

“We’re saving our big dollars for high-quality, professional Hollywood content, goddamnit!” (Imagine them saying it with big cigars in their mouths for greater effect.)

Cut to one year later and there is something real going on at YouTube – and they are just getting started (see all the “Coming Soon” labels on the left graphic of the channels yet to launch).

Channels are launching with the buzz normally generated for broadcast TV or feature film premieres – and for a lot less money.

Here’s a snapshot of the numbers (July 4, 2012). These are significant numbers.

Granted, this new “premium” content on YouTube is NOTHING EVEN CLOSE to the quality of a major studio feature film or TV series. Everything about it screams “slapped together.”

So if that’s true, then why should Hollywood be scared?

Because the generation growing up with YouTube does not distinguish between NBC, ESPN, Hulu, iPhone Apps, etc.

Eyeballs can only look so many places at one time and Broadcast Networks are asking you to keep them locked for three hours at a time (and watch the ads).

That’s fine for my mom (and, frankly, fine for me, too – though my iPhone is in my hand while I watch) but not fine for my daughter.

No chance does she one day turn to me and say “You know what, mom? I’ve become a Broadcast Network junkie. Those shows are what I love to watch the most.”

And this is true all around the world.

The kids who are playing online games, watching videos and surfing around the various social networks are not suddenly going to watch Broadcast Networks when they turn 30.

“Now that I’m older and finished with my wandering gadgets, I’m ready to settle in my easy chair and watch quality programming and check out some of the interesting advertising that happens during those shows.”

Never going to happen.

And, of course, duh, the big media companies know this is never going to happen.

But here’s the kicker: Most who grew up with the Internet really don’t care about quality. If they did, Zynga would have never become popular and MP3s would have been shunned immediately for their lack of decent fidelity.

The youth of the world have been raised not to care about such things (of course, I realize there are exceptions).

A couple of years ago, I wrote a piece called “Broadcast Networks: On Death and Dying” and regardless of the few breakout hits that do exist on Broadcast (which results in big profits from International markets and off-net syndication), it’s really expensive content to produce and it’s just not a long-term strategy.

But don’t get me wrong – studios would be foolish to give up this extremely profitable business model while the market is still there. (“Two Broke Girls” just got $1.5 million an episode from TBS – who could give that up?!)

It’s a real conundrum.

Hollywood studios can’t abandon a dying business when it’s still so profitable. But they can’t plan for the future – because the future is the death of their current business model.

And attempting to replicate what YouTube is doing would be a downright embarrassment for studios used to creating such high-priced, high-quality content.

It would be quite a step down.

Next year is crucial for content business. Trends may become irreversible and the next ten years could become crystal clear.

It is possible that both worlds can exist and make a lot of money (one with super high margins, the other with less).

The ratings for this year’s crop of Broadcast fall premieres will be heavily scrutinized. (October 17 update: Ratings have started off terrible with all networks except NBC experiencing double-digit declines without much hope for improvement.)

New shows need to emerge more than they ever have in the history of television (no platitudes here, man). Syndication pipelines need to remain full with bidding wars from multiple channels and station groups.

If that happens, old media and the current way of operating survives for another five years or so.

If not, there’s only so many more spring upfronts that advertisers will show up for.

Next year, I guarantee, the YouTube upfront presentation will get as much press as CBS’ upfront – regardless of how many more stars CBS pulls onto the stage.

Why is that?

Because it’s new. It’s exciting. And new and exciting always wins.

And, remember, this is a reality TV world (created by Hollywood) where everyone can be a star.

And now those stars don’t need Hollywood anymore.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

May 3, 2012May 3, 2012

Is Hollywood Funding Chinese Propaganda?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, OnMedea, Jill Kennedy, Hollywood in China, China, Mao Zedong, Tiananmen Square, Chinese Propaganda, Jeffrety Katzenberg, Bob Iger, Disney, Legendary East, Ang Lee, Zhang Ziyi, Rich Gelfond, Silicon Valley, Paul Graham, Oriental Dreamworks, China Film Group, China Mainstream Media National Film Capital Group Hollywood Group, The Long March, The Great Proletariat Cultural Revolution

Hollywood is so desperate to grow their businesses in China they would almost do anything.

Look the other way while the Chinese government continues to abuse the basic human rights of its citizens? Check.

Alter the content or severely edit a movie in order to pass Chinese censors? Check. (Reminder – theater owners in Utah often want to edit the content of a movie and movie studios tell them to go F themselves.)

There are even allegations (but we know it’s true) that Hollywood pays bribes to Chinese officials in return for preferential treatment when it comes to filming in China and getting their films into China.

Is 1.3 billion people and their growing disposable income really that important to major media companies around the world?

Unfortunately, yes. And it has always been this way.

Hollywood didn’t even criticize China after the Tiananmen Square massacre in which thousands of innocent protesters were mowed down by PLA tanks and guns.

That was 23 years ago and they’re still trying to crack that horribly corrupt market. (At right: Imagine the lone protester symbolizes Hollywood – the tanks are China.)

Reality check: It’s never going to happen in the way that you would like, Hollywood.

China can sign whatever contracts you want signed – but, in the end, they will not honor them and you will leave, beaten, with your tails between your legs.

Chinese officials know this and are laughing at you as you put so much pride and resources on the line time after time.

Now there is a new disturbing trend that has popped up recently. The co-funding of Chinese local language films by U.S. companies.

Does this mean, as all Chinese-made films and scripts must be approved by the Chinese Central government, that Hollywood is funding Chinese propaganda?

Of course. This is truly an amazing, laughable coup by China.

I can just imagine some of the conversations with producers about story ideas:

New film about Chairman Mao and his glorious early days on The Long March? (Hollywood: “No problem. We’ll fund half of that if you let us shoot our next superhero blockbuster in the middle of Shanghai.”)

New film about how The Great Proletariat Cultural Revolution was actually a tremendous success? (Hollywood: “Um… weren’t millions killed or persecuted? Wasn’t that a horrific–“) China: “Do you want to shoot on the Great Wall or not?” (Hollywood: “Uh… OK, I guess a few revisions to your script are fine by us but legal would like our logo taken off the finished product.”) China: Deal – can we get that check now?

Granted, it’s not quite that simplistic – but it’s not that far off either.

I worry that Hollywood is getting taken advantage of by their dumber and less savvy “partners” across the Pacific.

It’s similar to the way Silicon Valley is attempting to undermine Hollywood by just grabbing whatever high-end premium content they need (without much payment) to make their devices cooler.

The bottom line is this: Let’s take human rights and actual motives involved out of the equation and look at it from a purely business standpoint. No matter what percentages are negotiated and no matter how many movies Hollywood gets into China – China is not going to pay what they owe and contracts mean nothing.

But, in the end, it’s 1.3 billion people with growing disposable income. And an attempt must be made, I suppose. In theory, there is A LOT of money there.

So… here’s how it plays out… China is going to build the world’s largest film industry off of the creative and technical knowledge of Hollywood and then… they’re going to send Hollywood home… without a check.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

January 19, 2012January 19, 2012

American Idol – Dead Show Walking

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Teleblog With Vidar, Vidar, Norse God of Silence, American Idol, Bruce Gowers, Ken Warwick, Gregg Gelfand, John Pritchett, Nigel Lythgoe, Shane Drake, Simon Fuller, Ryan Seacrest, Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Kara DioGuardi, Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler, Ellen DeGeneres, Taylor Hicks, Elliott Yamin, Jordin Sparks, David Cook, Fantasia Barrino, Crystal Bowersox, Katharine McPhee, Blake Lewis, Lee DeWyze, Chris Daughtry, David Archuleta, Adam Lambert, Casey James, Kellie Pickler, Michael Lynche, Vonzell Solomon, Melinda Doolittle, Kimberly Locke, Syesha Mercado, Danny Gokey, Aaron Kelly, Kris Allen, Ruben Studdard, Paris Bennett, Diana DeGarmo, Lakisha Jones, Brooke White, jason Castro, Matt Giraud, Jimmy Iovine, Jasmine Trias, Chris Richardson, Phil Stacey, Carly Smithson, Siobhan Magnus, Haley Reinhart, Kelly Clarkson, Lauren Alaina, Scotty McCreery, Justin Guarini, Ace Young, La Toya London, George Huff, Allison Iraheta, Anoop Desai, Katie Stevens, Brian Dunkleman, John Stevens, Sanjaya Malakar, Tim Urban, James Durbin, Anwar Robinson, Kristy Lee Cook, Lil Rounds, Andrew Garcia, Bucky Covington, Clay Aiken, Jennifer Hudson, Nadia Turner, Casey Abrams, Tamyra Gray, Mandisa Hundley, Haley Scarnato, Michael Johns, Jacob Lusk, Nikki McKibbin, Lisa Tucker, Nikko Smith, Ramiele Malubay, Scott MacIntyre, Gina Glocksen, Didi Benami, Stefano Langone, Paul McDonald, Carrie Underwood, Jon Peter Lewis, Mikalah Gordon, Jessica Sierra, Kevin Covais, Chris Sligh, Chikezie Eze, Megan Joy, Christina Christian, Lindsey Cardinale, Michael Sarver, Pia Toscano, R.J. Helton, Amanda Overmyer, Lacey Brown, Paige Miles, Naima Adedapo, Melissa McGhee, Matthew Rogers, Amy Adams, Camile Velasco, Stephanie Edwards, Tatiana Nicole Del Toro, Jasmine Murray, Thia Megia, Joshua Gracin, Will makar, Brandon Rogers, David Hernandez, A.J. Gil, Ayla Brown, Gedeon McKinney, Alexis Grace, Jorge Nunez, Todrick Hall, Ryan Starr, Bo Bice, Trenyce, Amanda Avila, Kinnik Sky, Jared Cotter, Sundance Head, Katelyn Epperly, Leah LaBelle, Heather Cox, David Radford, Alaina Alexander, Antonella Barba, Kady Malloy, Luke Menard, Nick Mitchell, Alex Lambert, Lilly Scott, Haeley Vaughn, Karen Rodrigguez, Jim Verraros, EJay Day, Matthew Metzger, Constantine Maroulis, Brenna Gethers, Jose Penala, Leslie Hunt, Sabrina Sloan, AJ Tabaldo, Asia'h Epperson, Danny Noriega, Ann Marie Boskovich, John Park, Jermaine Sellers, Ashthon Jones, Elizabeth Letendre, Lisa Leuschner, Marque Lynch, Tiara Purifoy, Susie Vulaca, Katie Webber, Eric Yoder, Edward Boddington, Janay Castine, Travis Tucker, Mario Vazquez, Patrick Hall, Becky O'Donohue, Rickey Minor, Nicholas Pedro, Matt Breitzke, Jesse Langseth, Nathaniel Marshall, Jackie Tohn, Michelle Delamor, Jannell Wheeler, Mark Thompson, Kimberly Caldwell, Clive Davis, Carmen Rasmusen, Rickey Smith, Anthony Fedorov, Scott Savol, Alexis Lopez, Ryan Nikole Parker, Bobby Bennett, Stevie Scott, Stacy Ferguson, Miley Cyrus, Junot Joyner, Robbie Carrico, Alexandrea Lushington, Alaina Whitaker, Jason Yeager, Casey Carlson, Stephen Fowler, Kai Kalama, Kristen McNamara, Joanna Pacitti, Jamar Rogers, Von Smith, Alexander Wagner-Trugman, Tyler Grady, Ashley Rodriguez, Jessica Cunningham, Gwen Stefani, Katy Perry, Julia DeMato, Olivia Newton-John, Barry Manilow, Corey Clark, Alexandra Bachelier, Adriel Herrera, Jamar, Tenia Taylor, Smokey Robinson, Marisa Joy, Charly Lowry, Kara Master, Jonah Moananu, Heather Piccinini, John Preator, Briana Ramirez-Rial, Jesus Roman, Noel Roman, Ashley Thomas, Erskine Walcott, Lisa Wilson, Antonio Wheeler, David Brown, Aloha Mischeaux, Joseph Murena, Celena Rae, Annie Lennox, Ben Stiller, Teri Hatcher, Rudy Cardenas, Amanda Coluccio, Paul Kim, Amy Krebs, Nicole Tranquillo, Amy Jean Davis, Arianna Afsar, Felicia Barton, Kendall Beard, Ricky Braddy, Katrina Darrell, Misha Henson, Brent Keith, Taylor Vaifanua, Stevie Wright, Victoria Beckham, Barry Gibb, Tony Bennett, Neil Patrick Harris, Joe Jones, Shania Twain, Mary J Blige, Will Young, Jules Sanchez, Christopher Aaron, Kelli Glover, Angela Peel, Quentin Tarantino, Gladys Knight, Ashley Hartman, William Hung, Donna Summer, Nigel Lythgoe, Guy Sebastian, Nicole Tieri, Ben Hausbach, Rachel Zevita, Joely Fisher, Bono, Maroon 5, Camryn Manheim, Jennette McCurdy, Daughtry, Renaldo Lapuz, Alexis Cohen, Colton David Berry, Joanne Borgella, Mariah Carey, Garrett Haley, Natashia Williams, Jamie Foxx, Jessica Furney, Alicia Keys, Slash, Will i Am, Rose Flack, David Osmond, Jeanine Vailes, Joe Munoz, Kimberly Kerbow, Jovany Barreto, Jordan Dorsey, Clint Jun Gamboa, Erika Schiff, Kristin Chenoweth, Jon Bon Jovi, Martina McBride, Peter Noone, Lulu, Avril Lavigne, Jewel Kilcher, Gene Simmons, Rod Stewart, Stevie Wonder, Carole Bayer Sager, Michael Buble, Shakira, David Foster, Ray Romano, Chris Bandano, Natalie Burge, Khaleef Chiles, Rodesia Eaves, Brad Estrin, Kristin Holt, Jazmin Lowery, Emmy Robbin, Tanesha Ross, Melanie Sanders, Mark Scott, Gil Sinuet, Justinn Waddell, Robin Gibb, Lionel Richie, Diane Warren, Paul Anka, Neil Sedaka, J.D. Adams, Rebecca Bond, Samantha Cohen, Equoia Coleman, Frenchie Davis, Meosha Denton, Patrick Forton, Jennifer Fuentes, Louis Gazzara, Charles Grigsby, Hadas, Kimberly Kelsey, Vanessa Olivarez, Bettis Richardson, Jack John Smalley, George Trice, Elton John, Gloria Estefan, Jae Tracie, Judd Harris, Melinda LIra, Sarah Mather, Jared Yates, Antonio Banderas, Jeff Beck, Anthony Fitzgerald, jack Black, Michael Chiklis, Celine Dion, Eric McCormack, Phil Bredesen, Dan Castellaneta, Jarrod Fowler, Denise Jackson, Rachel Jenkins, Sarah Krueger, Perla Meneses, Matt Sato, Jim Carrey, Dane Cook, Rascal Flatts, Sons of Sylvia, Janice Dickinson, Paul Stanley, Kobe Bryant, James Denton, Neil Diamond, Snoop Dogg, Fawn, Jimmy Kimmel, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Dolly Parton, Brad Pitt, Ashley Tisdale, Forest Whitaker, Robin Williams, Apl de ap, Lady Gaga, Queen Latifah, Taboo, Frankie Jordan, March Raducci, Randy Travis, Julissa Veloz, Leneshe Young, Rihanna, Josh Sussman, Justin Bieber, Harry Connick Jr, Amanda DeSimone, Bernadette DeSimone, Amedea DiRocco, Cornelius Edwards, Justin Gaston, Orianthi, Larry Platt, Mary Powers, Erica Rhodes, Charity Vance, Vanessa Wolfe, Marc Anthony, kendra Chantelle, Tim Halperin, Brett Loewenstern, Robbie Rosen, Lauren Turner, Stephen Werner, Tatynisa Wilson, Julie Zorrilla, Cecile Frot-Coutaz, Ken Warwick, Patrick Lynn, Megan Michaels, Nigel Lythgoe, Katie Fennelly, Ron De Shay, Charles Boyd, Norm Betts, Brian Robinson, Simon Jones, Theo Dimitrious, Simon Lythgoe, Melanie Oberman, David Goffin, Jessica Kelly Toby Gorman, Sam Brenzel, Beth McNamara, Camilla Rahaman, Steven Schillaci, James Breen, Mike Yurchuk, Sarah Kane, Rebecca Dobkowitz, Kathleen Sheets, Clay Wolflick, Tom Brunell, Esther Frank, Jill Schwartz, Robert Gustafson, Charles Boyd, Cambrietta Frierson, Beth Van Dyke, Jerry D'Alessandro, Priya Balachandran, Matthew Watkins, Nikki Boella, Jennifer Bresnan, Billy Cooper, Brian Gadinsky, Mona Grenier, Tarvenia Jones, Andy Meyer, Tim Roddy, Hope Wilson, Jessica Jones, John Eritz, Aaron Weiner, James Wright, Chris Wagner, Tisha Fein, Nisa Ahmad, Suzie Weis, Dan Sacks, Nicola Gaha, Brent Wilson, Mark Gamsey, Jensen Oliver Moon, Ben Dolenc, Matt Cavanagh, Adam Cooper, Jonathan Hay, Ben Idorn, Pam Niedzwiadek, Nicole Slamer, Stephanie Lydecker, Marc Ambrose, John Bard Manulis, Colby Cote, Cam Frierson, Dean landon, Shawn Clement, Jack Elliot, Matt Vowles, Wes Hambright, Jeremy Sweet, Sean Peden, Jack Messitt, David Rutherford, Narumi Inatsugu, Andy Walmsley, James Yarnell, Steve Bass, Craig Gooder, Wylleen May, Alessandro Fadin, Christine Klages Staley, Chris Wagner, Michelle Baker, Mike Hofferth, Tyson Janisch, Reilly Oliver, Paul Cozzi, Barry Ward, Justin Healy, susana Santiago, Michelle LeTarte, Paula Frank, Melissa Wong, Michael Briggs, Brian Farguharson, Timothy Hamilton, Jenny Stanley, Tina Cannizzaro DeBone, Vicki Ariamal-Preto, Gregg Galfand, Tent Girl, Amy Brumfield, Phillip Phillips, David Leathers

I actually watched last night’s “American Idol” Season 11 premiere.

Yes, I’m the one.

Just kidding. There were actually quite a few people who watched last night. But 23% fewer than watched last year.

This show is dead.

It may limp along and have an occasional really good ratings night – but it’s all over. We all know it.

A couple of years ago, I said the show was dead as soon as Simon Cowell announced he was leaving.

I suppose I was wrong only because the show did continue – and actually had some nice moments last year – but creatively it was dead.

Last night, it was painful to watch Randy Jackson try to be the “tough” Simon-type judge. He just doesn’t have the verbal chops to pull it off.

“It was awful.” “That was really bad, dude.” “Just terrible.”

And you could see him trying to be the one with authority because Jennifer Lopez is too nice (but seems to be the only one trying to be constructive) and Steven Tyler too clueless to take on that role (though I actually like Steven Tyler and think he would have been a great addition instead of Kara DioGuardi in the year they thought they needed four judges).

Simon is desperately needed for this show to work. And, what’s really crazy is he DOESN’T work on his own show. I think “The X Factor” is terrible – just awful, dude (to quote Randy).

So Simon leaving “American Idol” basically made two shows suck.

Another problem, last night I realized the talent in this country is all the same (either that or the “AI” producers want the same talent).

We had Tent Girl (Amy Brumfield) – who was basically Crystal Bowersox – (hopefully she can stay out of jail)
We had Phillip Phillips – who is David Cook (among many others)
We had a teenage Michael Jackson (who annoyingly fancies himself a lady’s man)
We had some awkward Lee DeWyzes (more awkward than Lee DeWyze)
We had a few Daughtrys
We had some hot chicks who could barely carry a tune but made it through to Hollywood (because it’s a singing competition – you HAVE to have good looking people on the show)
We had numerous Jennifer Hudsons
We had a lot of country music types (can country music absorb another failed pop star?)

It’s just enough with these singing talent shows. The ratings drop-off year-over-year should be proving that America is getting tired of it and Hollywood is refusing to offer us something new.

But I understand how hard it is for Fox to give it up. It’s produced at a minimum cost (relative) and still gets double the ratings of any new scripted show they launch – so why not keep it going no matter how lame?

But that doesn’t mean I have to like it… or watch it.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

December 15, 2011December 15, 2011

The Hollywood Foreign Press Has Done It Again!

Ahmed Lateef, Aida Takla-O'Reilly, Alena Prime, Alessandra Venezia, Alexander Nevsky, Ali Sar, Ana Maria Bahiana, Andre Guimond, Aniko Navai, Anita Baum, Anke Hofmann, Ari Emanuel, Armando Gallo, Aud Berggren Morisse, Avik Gilboa, Ben Silverman, Cameron Diaz, Cher, Dagmar Dunlevy, Dierk Sindermann, Edmund Brettschneider, Elisa Leonelli, Elisabeth Sereda, Elmar Biebl, Emanuel Levy, Erkki "Erik" Kanto, Ersi Danou, Frances Schoenberger, Frank Rousseau, Gabriel Lerman, Gabrielle Donnelly, George Doss, Gilda Baum-Lappe, Golden Globes, H.J. Park, Hans J. Spurkel, Harvey Weinstein, Helen Hoehne, Helena Mar-Elia, Helmut Voss, Herve Tropea, Hollywood Foreign Press members, Howard Lucraft, Isabelle Caron, Jack Tewksbury, Janet R. Nepales, Jean E. Cummings, Jean-Paul Chaillet, Jenny Cooney Carrillo, Jerry Watson, Jill Kennedy, John Hiscock, Jorge Camara, Judy Solomon, Juliette Michaud, Karen Martin, Khan Manka, Kleo Lee, Lawrie Masterson, Lilly Lui, Lisa Lu, Lorenzo Soria, Luca Celada, Lynn M. Tso, Magnus Sundholm, Mahfouz Doss, Manka Bros., Margaret Gardiner, Maria Snoeys-Lagler, Mario Amaya, Marlene von Arx, Maureen Dragone, Max B. Miller, Meher Tatna, Mike Goodridge, Mira Panajotovic, Mohammed Rouda, Munawar Hosain, Nellee A. Holmes, Noel de Souza, Noemia Young, OnMedea, Paolua Abou-Jaoude, Patrica Danaher, Patrick Roth, Paz Mata, Philip Berk, Ramzi Malouki, Ray Arco, Ricky Gervais, Ricky van Veen, Rocio Ayuso, Ruben V. Nepales, Rui Henriques Coimbra, Scarlett Johansson, Scott Orlin, Serge Rakhlin, Silvia Bizio, The Tourist, Theo Kingma, Vera Anderson, Yenny Nun-Katz, Yoko Narita, Yola Czaderska-Hayek, Yoram Kahana, Yukiko Nakajima

OK, just admit it guys, you love movie stars and only nominate hot people you would like to ‘go to disco’ with.

I mean, I sort of know where you’re coming from – “The Ides Of March” sucked but, of course, I would rather sit at “The Ides Of March” table with George Clooney than the “Like Crazy” table with the ‘no names’ who would have sat at that table – but come on!

The Hollywood Foreign Press has become more and more of a joke every year (OK, maybe not the Pia Zadora year).

You must LIKE to be hated otherwise you wouldn’t have invited Ricky Gervais back to (hopefully) rip you to shreds again.

Please Ricky – go for a lifetime ban!

You must realize you have zero credibility in the industry. Stars, agents and executives laugh at you. Stars only go to the ceremony because stars like to go out and have free drinks and stars like to win awards. That’s just the nature of the beast – those people need to feel loved. And you’re always more than happy to oblige.

The problem is, it’s just way too obvious that you don’t want any ugly people to be invited to The Golden Globes.

You just have a mental block – like the inability to quit smoking. You just can’t do it.

If a hot chick or guy can sort of speak (and even that may not be a prerequisite – look at “The Artist”), they have a chance to get nominated for a Golden Globe.

And, once again, not one film or television show from Manka Bros. Studios gets a nod. Ever since Khan Manka, Jr. vowed to destroy your little group (and refused to pay your shake-down bribes – sorry, ten cartons of cigarettes and a case of Diddy’s vodka was just too much to pay), you have had it in for the world’s largest media company – and have never been able to see past that and judge the work on its own merit.

It’s truly disgraceful.

But there is a slight positive here – both Cameron Diaz and Scarlett Johansson were in movies this year, but you made the very difficult (I’m sure) decision not to nominate them (especially now that Scarlett is single and you all probably think you have a chance).

I’m sure there were fights and discussions to expand the categories when you couldn’t squeeze them in (but that’s why we have presenters, right?).

Deep down, I love you guys. I mean, who can resist all that hair and horrible perfume? I just wish you made more of an effort to try and fool us into believing your were a legitimate organization.

But that takes away some of the fun, doesn’t it?

Hopefully, the Academy doesn’t pay too much attention.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

November 8, 2011November 8, 2011

The X Factor Is Terrible

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company, Rupert Murdoch, Jose Maria Aznar, natalie Bancroft, Peter Barnes, Chase Carey, Kenneth Cowley, David DeVoe, Viet Dinh, Rod Eddington, Joel Klein, Andrew S.B. Knight, James Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Thomas Perkins, Arthur Siskind, John Thornton, Stanley Shuman, Rebekah Brooks, Les Hinton, Teri Everett, jack Horner, Julie Henderson, Reed Nolte, Roger Ailes, Janet Nova, John Nallen, Beryl Cook, Michael Regan, Genie Gavenchak, Brian Lewis, Irena Briganti, Dan Berger, Rosabel Tao, Steven Rubenstein, Suzanne Halpin, Elisabeth Murdoch, Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, L.A. Reid, Nicole Scherzinger, Steve Jones, Drew, Melanie Amaro, Rachel Crow, Lakoda Rayne, The Stereo Hogzz, inTENsity, Josh Krajcik, LeRoy Bell, Stacy Francis, Astro, Brian Bradley, Chris Rene, Marcus Canty, Ben Thursby, Jason Sands, Andrew Kimmel, Cecile Frot-Coutaz, Siobhan Greene, Richard Holloway, Andrew Llinares, Jason Sands, Rob Wade, Autumn DeVitry, Heath Luman, Steve Bae, Kari Killion, Robin Koethcke, Karla LeCroix, Shelby Wagner, Caroline Abaecheta, Maggie Brockmann, Tim Byrne, Vira Chhay, Jessica Devlin, Paul Fishman, Ryan Goble, Mike Hofferth, Dan Keats, Pete Ogden, Yasmin Rawii, Marla Roberts, David Silberman, Jacqui Denker, Elaina Fish, Drew Fontes, Brian Friedman Henri Hebert, Ben Idom, Michelle Kirschner, Ian Mallahan, Tyree McLyn, Sara Sanders, Greg Matthews, Florian Wieder, Louis Borreli, Chad Cohen, Tiffany Hoss, Vanessa Rose Ioppolo, Reilly Oliver, Zach Jarosz, Jen Muccia, Stephanie Cieplinski, Abigail Doyle, Katie Franzeo, Maxwell Harris, William Lacey, Michael Boeder, Tammy Raab, Donald Hudson, Tom Riles, Natalie Threlkel

First of all, I am not a television critic. I am a critic of the television industry – but not really on the content itself.

That said, last week, while at a Manka Bros. corporate retreat, I actually sat and watched a full episode of “The X Factor” – and it was terrible.

Seriously, this is a really bad, over-produced mess.

A massive train wreck.

I can see now why the ratings have been just “okay” (considering the enormous pre-season expectations).

I thought this was going to be a huge show and even killed “American Idol” last year after it was announced that Simon Cowell was leaving (to ultimately start “The X Factor”).

I will admit now, my killing of “American Idol” was wrong. That show is alive and surprisingly well after more than a decade.

That’s more than I can say for “The X Factor”.

From what I saw (to be fair – on my one viewing), this show is complete disaster and won’t be alive two years from now (much less a decade). I know it was renewed for next year but I have a feeling that was part of the original deal (though they made a press announcement like it was a big surprise). Maybe there’s a chance this show could improve and grow into something – but I doubt it. There are too many problems.

The main advice I have for this show: Calm the fuck down.

Here are the key problems as I see it:

1) SIMON COWELL. The man who single-handedly turned “American Idol” into a must see phenomenon, is the biggest hindrance of his own show.

Why?

Because he has to DO stuff on this one. Not just sit in the chair, look disinterested, and throw out barbs that make America scream at the television. That was the biggest strength of “American Idol” – his laziness.

Now, he’s pitching products, reading off cue cards – it’s a disaster. He is so far out of his comfort zone that he has destroyed the one thing “The X Factor” has going for it – himself.

He needs to fire himself – simple as that.

2) THE OTHER JUDGES. No chemistry and embarrassing to watch – especially when they try to stir up some sort of controversy or generate angry banter.

The carefully choreographed verbal jabs between the judges is as convincing as a 6th Grade production of “Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?”.

Why is that?

Because we all know Simon hired all the judges (in almost a reality show of its own) and we know that Paula was sort desperate for this gig – so any little “fights” she has with Simon ring false.

On “American Idol” it worked a little better because they were all hired guns that negotiated separate deals. Simon negotiated all of “The X Factor” judges deals. He owns them which is why it doesn’t work.

3) THE TALENT. Is it just me, or does nearly every act in the Final 12 suck?

As I was watching them all perform, there were so many moments that took me out of the music – bad notes, awkward stage presence – so many moments that I yelled at the television: “These people are singing for $5 million bucks?!”

Maybe because there are so many singing competitions on TV these days the talent pool is getting shallow – but, to me, this is a pretty pathetic crop of finalists. Especially the children!

4) THE PRODUCT PLACEMENT. Good God, the product placement is completely out of control. Seriously. The Verizon X Factor App (or whatever)? And Simon introduces the Verizon App while drinking a Pepsi. It’s comical.

They are probably looking for ways to sponsor the sponsorships: “The Verizon App brought to you by Pepsi and Depends disposable adult diapers (so you don’t have to miss one second of “The X Factor” – just go in your pants!).”

5) THE PRODUCTION VALUES. What in the Hell is up with that set design? These crappy singers are singing in a pinball machine from 1986. The lights and the moving panels and the smoke and mirrors and lasers.

What the fuck?

We all know whoever wins is going to be singing at County Fairs with Kellie Pickler this summer. The sets there will be bales of hay and deep-fried bacon machines. Just calm the fuck down.

Plus, there are those power “X Factor” dancers that gyrate around these poor contestants as they try to make it through “Moon River” without their voice cracking.

On “American Idol”, Simon always used to emphasize that it was a “singing competition”.

He could obviously care less about that now.

Other than that, it’s a pretty awesome show. Fox has done it again!

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

July 21, 2011July 21, 2011

Don’t Blame Superman

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Amanda Seyfried, Andrew Chang, Angela Bromstad, Anil Ambani, Ann Daly, Anne Globe, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Beastly, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Brothers Grimm, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Clark Hallren, Comic-Con, Craig Ring, Craig Smith, Dan Satterthwaite, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Dreamworks Animation, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Gemma Arterton, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Guillermo Del Toro, Hans Woolley, Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters, Harry Brittenham, Harry Sloan, Heather O'Conner, Hey Diddle Diddle, Holly Bario, Jack the Giant Killer, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Small, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jeremy Renner, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John Batter, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Judson Green, Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Lew Coleman, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Sourian, Mark Stein, Melody Hobson, Michael Eisner, Michael J. Montgomery, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nathan Myhrvold, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Allen, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Pinnochio, Red Riding Hood, Reliance ADA Group, Rich Sullivan, Richard F. Zannino, Richard Sherman, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Roger Enrico, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Snow White and the Seven, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Strauss Zelnick, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas Freston, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman, Walt Disney

Today, I read an analyst report written by Vasily Karasyov of Susquehanna Financial Group titled “The Death of Superheroes”.

Salacious title? Certainly.

A title that would get the attention of every media executive around the world? Absolutely.

A title that’s total bullshit? Definitely.

According to this report, over the past ten years movie studios have plucked 16 superheroes (or super groups) from the obscurity of the basements of geeks and put them smack dab in the global spotlight for everyone to see.

Some have been really good, made lots of money and spawned sequels, rebirths and regurgitations (e.g., “Spider-Man”, “Batman”, “Iron Man”, “X-Men”).

Others were shit and lost a lot of money (basically the rest of them).

For the most part, that’s the way it’s supposed to work. Good = success. Bad = no success.

Over that same time, about 2,000 other movies were released to varying degrees of success. These included huge non-comic book movies like “Harry Potter”, “Lord of the Rings”, “Pirates of the Caribbean”, “The Hangover”, and, sure, even Woody Allen’s biggest hit ever “Midnight In Paris”.

So while it seems every other movie that comes out is a comic book movie, nothing could be further from the truth. But that’s not the point I want to make.

Here’s the point: People are not tired of Superheroes. You cannot blame the superhero for the failure of corporate mortals.

If every comic book/superhero movie were unbelievably great, audiences would flock to them and they would all be huge hits.

Seriously, if the studios would have put out 16 awesome, well-made, true to the source comic book movies, they would have had, guaranteed, 16 big hit, profitable movies.

But this didn’t happen and it never will happen. Why? Because movie studios always try to make good movies. Regardless of what some people think, the executives at movie studios are not trying to suck.

Every movie that is made (with all those millions of dollars at stake) start off with a single dream – to be really good and to make money (maybe not in that order). Everyone, at every level, works very hard to make these films as good as humanly possible.

But somewhere along the chain – from concept to the day of release – something happens to make them suck.

And in most cases, lots of things happen to make them suck.

The movie-making process is subjective. One person’s gold is another person’s shit.

What Hollywood IS GUILTY OF is genre rape.

Once one high-concept or genre film hits it really big (i.e., “Alice In Wonderland”) suddenly every studio in town needs to have that high-concept or genre type film in the pipeline ASAP.

Because of “Alice In Wonderland”, over the past year every studio had to have as many fairy tale scripts as they get their hands on including THREE FREAKIN’ “SNOW WHITES”!

My God, even Manka Bros. – my studio – bought the rights to “Hey Diddle Diddle” and plans to spend well over $150 million to produce something we know will fail. Sorry, boss.

Go down any list of genre and you’ll see one movie that started the entire feeding frenzy. “Scream” spawned hundreds of crappy horror movies. “Harry Potter” got everyone out there trying to find the next great children’s fantasy series. Vampires, zombies… it’s just a case of mass brainlessness.

But here’s the shocker. What do I think needs to be changed? Nothing.

Movies should continue to be made and they should be made as well as possible.

Some should be based on comic books because it’s really great source material.

Others should be based on the Bible, or Dickens or Broadway . Because it’s really great source material.

And yet others should be based on ideas people think up on their own (imagine that!) – because the brain is capable of coming up with a really great source material.

“Hollywood” isn’t broken and the Superhero isn’t dead (Christopher Nolan could turn any deep catalog comic book character into a franchise – even something like “Gerbil Girl”) – everyone involved in the process just needs to concentrate more on entertaining the audience and less on just filling a summer slot.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – Why the hell is “Glee” at Comic-Con? If you want to talk about something that’s dead… it’s Comic-Con. And IT WAS killed by the movie studios. If you want a good laugh, read the transcript from Khan Manka, Jr.’s keynote address to last year’s Comic-Con.