Jeff Weiner – Page 3

November 9, 2012November 9, 2012

Did David Petraeus Have An Affair or “An Affair”?

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Manka Bros. Studios, The World's Largest Media Company, Newt Gingrich, Callista Gingrich, Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther, Jeff Weiner, Ben Silverman, Rob Johnson, Sonny Perdue, Rick Tyler, Hermain Cain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Joseph Smith, Thomas S. Monson, Elder Cook, Elder Nelson, Elder Holland, Elder Perry, Elder Bednar, George Romney, Ann Romney, Brigham Young, Sean Hannity, Bob Dole, Ann Coulter, James Grisham, Eric Stanger, Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company, Rupert Murdoch, Jose Maria Aznar, natalie Bancroft, Peter Barnes, Chase Carey, Kenneth Cowley, David DeVoe, Viet Dinh, Rod Eddington, Joel Klein, Andrew S.B. Knight, James Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Thomas Perkins, Arthur Siskind, John Thornton, Stanley Shuman, Rebekah Brooks, Les Hinton, Teri Everett, jack Horner, Julie Henderson, Reed Nolte, Roger Ailes, Janet Nova, John Nallen, Beryl Cook, Michael Regan, Genie Gavenchak, Brian Lewis, Irena Briganti, Dan Berger, Rosabel Tao, Steven Rubenstein, Suzanne Halpin, Elisabeth Murdoch , David Petraeus, CIA Director quits after affair

Seriously, Drudge Report (see headline below)?

Seriously, Rupert Murdoch (Tweeted: Petraeus resignation. Timing, everything suspicious)

So General Petraeus had “an affair” (meaning you don’t believe he had an affair) which caused him to leave the CIA in disgrace?

As much as you would like it to happen, something does not become a scandal before the facts are known – not that that has ever stopped you before.

What IS a scandal is that Fox News and Drudge Report keep trying to create scandals that bring down the President.

I’m sorry but using quote marks to illustrate your non-belief of the story before the facts come out is journalism at its crappiest.

Newsflash to Fox News and company – Your Polls Were Wrong, Barack Obama Is President – suck it up, stop whining and move on.

Here are some of the headlines from high profile news sources after today’s surprising announcement that David Petraeus has resigned as CIA Director following an admission to an extramarital affair:

Yes, Fox News, you might be onto something – David Petraeus is obviously saying he cheated on his wife of 37 years and is throwing his long career and future down the toilet just to cover up for the President’s mistakes in Benghazi.

Get Mitt Romney and Karl Rove on the phone – tell them there is still chance! Ohio is back in play!

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 15, 2012October 15, 2012

NICKMOM – R.I.P.

Adam Townsend, Alan Ruck, Amy Baer, Angeline Straka, Anthony Ambrosio, Ari Emanuel, Arnold Kopelson, Brendan Fraser, Bruce S. Gordon, Bruce Tobey, Carl Folta, Carla Santos Shamberg, CBS Films, Charlie Gifford, Chase Carey, David Andelman, David Poltrack, Debbie Miller, DebManka Bros., Diego Velazquez, Doug Morris, Fred Salerno, Gary Countryman, Geeta Anand, Gil Schwartz, Harrison Ford, Harvey Weinstein, Jared Harris, Jeff Weiner, Jill Kennedy, Jordana Glick-Franzheim, Joseph A. Califano, Joseph Ianniello, Josh Rothstein, Jr., Keri Russell, Khan Manka, Leonard Goldberg, Les Moonves, Linda Griego, Louis Briskman, Manka Bros., Martin Franks, Meredith Droeger, Michael Shamberg, Nan Morales, News Corporation, OnMedea, Patrick Bauchau, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Sullivan, Richard Jones, Rik Toulon, Rob Friedman, Robert Nelson Jacobs, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Hall, Shari Redstone, Stacey Sher, Steven Friedlander, Summit Entertainment, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, The Weinstein Company, Thomas Dooley, Tom Vaughan, Viacom, Wade Davis, William S. Cohen, CBS Films is dead

It’s very possible Nickmom will set the record for the world’s shortest running network.

There is no other option for this laughable disgrace than a total cancellation.

In fact, there are only three absolute certainties in this life:

1) The sun will rise in the east;

2) July 4th will occur every year on… July 4th; and

3) Nickmom will be shut down.

Such a complete creative and business abomination cannot possibly survive.

The tombstone graphic here may be a bit premature but it’s guaranteed to be accurate.

So, for the readers who have no idea what I’m talking about – what is this Nickmom that is almost universally hated by parents (mostly Moms)?

Nickmom is a primetime adult-skewing programming block (airing on the same channel as Nick Junior) designed for exhausted moms looking for a laugh or some edgier entertainment after the kids go to bed.

What’s wrong with that, Jill?

What do you have against exhausted moms looking for a laugh?

Absolutely nothing. I’m a proud exhausted mom myself who loves HBO.

But when you make a corporate decision to put on a programming block of comedians talking about sex and cocktails, shows called “Moms Night Out,” etc. etc. right after “Dora The Explorer” signs off, you clearly do not understand how the media landscape works.

Nickmom starts airing at 4pm in Hawaii for God’s sake! And 7PM in California (which is definitely before my daughter’s bedtime).

The biggest problem I have with Nickmom is not a content issue (though it’s really awful – painful to watch). The biggest problem I have with Nickmom is that it is a stupid idea badly executed.

And the ratings are bearing that out as noted by the Wall Street Journal (this is becoming a national story) – 74% decline in two weeks.

There is also a website that has been launched by angry parents – CancelNickMom.com.

Hey Viacom – are you hearing any of this?

People hate it. Drop it. Bring back “Bubble Guppies!”

I always wonder how these epic fails in business happen. This one is stunning.

Nickmom is an idea obviously hatched by out-of-touch corporate executives who think whatever they throw up on the screen (‘throw up’ being key words) will be gobbled up by the masses. They probably imagined their in-boxs filling up with “Thank yous” from weary, under-entertained moms from around the country.

They probably sat there at lunchtime brain-storming sessions falling off their seats with laughter when the suggestion for a tagline came up… “What about ‘Motherfunny’?” “‘Motherfunny’? Oh, my God, that is fucking hilarious! It sounds like “mother fucker” but it’s actually “motherfunny!”

The room cannot stop laughing for several minutes. The coldcuts, fruit plates and cookie platters just sit there as middle-aged men (and a lucky female or two including the female VP in charge of Nickmom) howl with laughter at how awesome they are.

And then a branding exec chimes in: “But it’s perfect for what we’re trying to accomplish. We’re making mothers laugh.”

Another exec: “And no one needs laughs more than mothers!”

A marketing exec chimes in to make it all relevant: “And ‘motherfunny’ gives it that edge we’re looking for. These aren’t your father’s mothers anymore. Advertisers are going to eat this shit up!”

I’m not going to pound the point anymore and this isn’t a cry from a concerned parent who is worried about the moral fabric of our country – I know how to keep bad stuff away from my daughter, thank you.

But, face it, this is a horrible idea and it needs to killed.

And… it will be. Soon. Guaranteed.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

October 4, 2012October 4, 2012

Facebook Is Irrelevant

1000Memories, Accel Partners, Amish Jani, Andrew Hyde, Andrew Mason, Andy Sack, Ashton Kutcher, Aydin Senkut, Ben Silverman, Bin 38, Bob Davis, Bob Iger, Brad Feld, Brian Kempner, Chris Hughes, Christopher Steiner, Dan Nova, Daniel Gaisin, Danielle Hootnick, Dave McClure, David Brown, David Cohen, David Kirkpatrick, Demi Moore, Demo Day, Diego Gutierrez, Dustin Moskovitz, Edmond Yue, Eduardo Saverin, Emmett Shear, Eric Lefkofsky, Fergal Mullen, FirstMark Capital, Founders At Work, Francis Duong, Gaurav Tewari, Gerald Levin, Gerald Poch, Greg McAdoo, Greylock Partners, Harjeet Taggar, HBO, Highland Capital Partners, Irena Goldenberg, Jared Polis, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jessica Livingston, Jessica Mah, Jill Kennedy, Joanna Shields, John Hsin, John Palfrey, Jon Miller, Jr., Justin Kan, Justin.tv, Khan Manka, Larry Wilson, Laurence Albukerk, Lawrence Lenihan, Li Ka-shing, Loopt, Manish Patel, Manka Bros., Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Cohler, Matt Nichols, Michael Arrington, Michael Gaiss, MySpace, Nick Marsh, Nicolas Carlson, OnMedea, Owen Van Natta, Paul Buchheit, Paul Cianciolo, Paul Graham, Peter Bell, Peter Thiel, Reddit, Richard de Silva, Richard Heitzman, Rick Heitzmann, Robert Morris, Ron Conway, Rudy Adler, Rupert Murdoch, Sand Hill Road, Scott Shane, Scott Switzer, Sequoia Capital, Sergey Nazarov, Shabbir Dahod, Shawn Broderick, Sheryl Sandberg, Sterling Phillips, Sumner Redstone, Tapzilla, TechCrunch, TechStars, TextPayMe, Toy Story 3, Trevor Blackwell, Y Combinator, google, Eric Schmidt, Tina Brown, The Daily Beast, Barry Diller, Dan Lyons, Google Smear campaign, Burson-Marsteller, Chris Soghoian, Jim Goldman, John Mercurio, Mark Pincus, Zynga, Spotify

So… Facebook has announced it has passed ONE BILLION USERS.

Sounds like a reason for a huge celebration. What an amazingly awesome global community!

We should all rejoice together because we built it… together!

But unlike the supermarket that rewards its one millionth customer with balloons, gifts and plaques and everyone is so happy for the store, the only reaction to Facebook’s announcement is people commenting “Facebook sucks!” “Are they counting all 10 of my accounts including my dogs?” “I quit Facebook months ago.” etc. etc. etc.

Facebook has a problem and it’s one that it will not overcome.

Facebook is irrelevant.

Nobody cares about it anymore. There are no balloons, no cheers, no tears, just… meh.

Sure, people use it to post photos of drinking, of babies and bike riding for charity but we, the connected world, have moved past that boring old shit that used to be slightly cool.

I’m sure to that comment Facebook would say – “No, no, wait, you’re wrong, Jill – people also post funny sayings and signs that they find amusing.”

Indeed, they’re right. How am I supposed to know I should “have an awesome day” if I didn’t see it posted in the morning by one of my “friends”?

In the past, I have written that Facebook Is Worthless, Overvalued, and Must Be Stopped – but now, I just don’t care about it anymore.

I have become Facebook indifferent – it means absolutely nothing to me.

That’s not the way it was supposed to be.

The swagger and smirking of the executives and investors before the IPO made it seem like this was a company like no other on the planet – a truly game changing experience that would actually… change the world.

The world did not change because of Facebook.

We all have the same problems that generations before us had. Politicians still use the same rhetoric. American flags are still burned at overseas Embassies. Famine and hurricanes still occur.

The only positive thing Facebook ever did was allow us to see what our high school and college friends look like today. It doesn’t mean we’re going to have dinner with them or have an actual conversation. But we do get to see if they got fat. That’s it and I suppose that’s worth something.

During the first Presidential Debate between President Obama and Mitt Romney the social media winner of the night was… Twitter.

Nearly all the media outlets and pundits were talking about what happened on Twitter during the debates. Not Facebook. Not LinkedIn. Not Google Plus.

To be serious, I have no idea how they add their numbers to conclude that one billion people are on Facebook.

Perhaps they should say one billion accounts have been set by about 200 million people? We all know people who have multiple accounts (almost everyone) – accounts for dogs, literary characters and just plain fake names that we all use to hide from our “friends” and supposedly Facebook is cracking down on this practice. (By the way, you can “friend” me here.)

And that’s another reason the site sucks – who wants to be completely real on Facebook?

We’re not trying to get a job. We’re not running for office. We’re just trying to spend a few minutes out of our day looking at drunken babies and trying not to be monetized.

So congratulations, Facebook on one billion users – one billion bored, indifferent, and dissatisfied users.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – I just thought of a way Facebook could be relevant… they could buy Twitter.

October 2, 2012October 2, 2012

Dueling Fanatics

Two very popular websites and what they posted at exactly 3:00 PM Pacific time today (October 2nd).

The real question going into the debates tomorrow isn’t who will win – Obama or Romney? (FYI, Fox News has already declared Mitt Romney the winner.)

The real question is which website will be able to bring down the candidate they hate before November 6th?

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

September 27, 2012September 27, 2012

Fox News Declares Mitt Romney the Winner of the First Presidential Debate

Also declaring Mitt Romney a winner are Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter.

How is that possible? The debate doesn’t even happen until October 3rd.

Here’s how: Fox News is really pushing a specific storyline about the upcoming debate. They are calling it “Do or Die” for Mitt Romney.

If that’s true, do you really expect the Fox News election team to sit there after the debate and say “Mitt Romney lost the Presidency tonight”? “Boy did he lose that one.” “I’ve never seen such a horrible performance.” “Barack Obama got my vote tonight.”

Of course not.

They will say, guaran-freakin-teed, that Mitt Romney easily defeated President Barack Obama in the debate. They’ll say “Romney was up against the wall and he came out fighting.” “It was ‘Do or Die’ and Romney is still very much alive!” etc. etc. etc.

Romney could come out, stare into the camera and complete freeze up – never saying a word and Sean Hannity would say “Frankly, he was just speechless over how bad the Obama presidency has been.”

Romney could come out and throw up all over the stage and Limbaugh would say “It was a very real moment. I wish more of our Presidential candidates would have the courage to throw up on national television.”

Romney could come out and punch Obama right in the mouth and Hannity would say “It was great. He was just expressing how so many Americans feel about President Obama’s job performance.”

He could do that bit about holding a gun to a puppy’s head and say “Vote for me or the dog gets it” and Ann Coulter would say “See, he likes animals. He didn’t actual shoot that dog.”

There is absolutely no question about. I’m sure they already writing the script for Wednesday night’s broadcast. They don’t need to see the debate to decide what they are going to say. That’s for the losers in the real news business.

According to Fox News (and many others on the Right), Mitt Romney has won a debate that hasn’t even happened.

And that’s some seriously fucked up shit.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

P.S. – And spare me the “But NBC News has already decided Barack Obama is the winner of the debate…” argument – nobody is as predictable or as harmful to the country as Fox News.

July 24, 2012July 26, 2012

Should We Believe Facebook’s Earnings?

Today is a big day for FB:NASDAQ.

The first earnings release after a pretty crappy IPO.

Needless to say, earnings and guidance must destroy expectations.

This is important for everyone who has a stake in the company – from those who had blind faith in the IPO and bought whatever meager shares they could, to the early investor billionaires and millionaires who were counting on a lot more than they’ve received thus far (greed’s a real pisser), to all the Facebook employees that have lost a bit of their swagger (and future riches) over the last couple of months.

In fact, Silicon Valley as a whole has lost its swagger a bit because of this IPO flop.

A blow-out earnings report would allow all those who were doubted and shunned to say “nah nah nah nah naaaah – told you so – we rock you suck, etc.”

Which makes me wonder, if, indeed, this is a blow-out earnings report despite what many analysts are predicting (consensus: not a blow-out), should the numbers be believed?

Is there a temptation by management and the number crunchers to goose things a bit for this very important first earnings report? Juggle some things. Move stuff around – make it up later. I’m sure they feel they’re smart enough to get around that little “random regulatory audit thing.”

They’ve got millions of made-up users – why not millions of made-up dollars?

There must be that temptation, right? I mean, how much could the SEC fine be in the scheme of things?

I’m sure the immediate reaction to such a wild, speculative (and probably fictional) premise is – “I’m shocked! How dare you presume that Facebook – with its long history of supreme ethics and outstanding morals would even dream of such a thing?”

Maybe it’s just me.

But if we hear on Thursday that there are now over 1 billion users – I’m just not going to believe it (especially when you take out the 200-300 million users that are either animals, aliases or fictional characters).

If they say that people are spending more time than ever on Facebook – I’m just not going to believe it.

If we hear on Thursday that advertising on Facebook has never been better and will continue to grow into 2013 – I’m just not going to believe it.

It is Mark Zuckerberg and Sheryl Sandberg’s job on Thursday is to convince us that things are awesome and getting ‘awesomer’ every day. And when they say that, I am not going to believe it.

But, truth be told, I am not the most bullish person when it comes to Facebook.

After all, I did write “Facebook And The Disappearing Valuation (A Fairy Tale),” and “Facebook Is Worthless,” and “Facebook Must Be Stopped,” and “All The Facebook’s Men,” and “Advertise On Facebook And Reach More People Than 10 Super Bowls,” and “Facebook To Reach 7.3 Billion Users By 2015,” and “Y Combinator Is a Stupid Idea” (I just threw in that last one for fun).

But you do have to wonder – it is soooooo important NOT to disappoint and pressure is coming from everywhere to make sure that they don’t.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

July 16, 2012July 16, 2012

Yahoo! Finally Does Something Right

Allen & Company retreat, Anne Mulcahy, Ari Emanuel, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick, Carol Bartz, Charlie Rose, Cory Booker, DumbDumb, Electus, Eric Schmidt, Erin Burnett, Gina Bianchini, Harvey Weinstein, Herb Allen, Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference, Herbert Allen, Jean-Bernard Levy, Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jerry Yang, John Donahue, Ken Auletta, Khan Manka, Lachlan Murdoch, Lady Gaga, Leslie Moonves, Lionel Barber, Lloyd Grohl, Manka Bros., Marc Andreessen, Marissa Mayer, Mark Pincus, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Sorrell, Mathias Dopfner, Mike Bloomberg, Niall FitzGerald, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Reid Hoffman, Richard Parsons, Ricky Van Veen, Rob Wiesenthal, Robert L. Johnson, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Sergey Brin, Sheryl Sandberg, Steve Jobs, Sun Valley Retreat, Sun Valley Retreat 2010, Terry Semel, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Ursula Burns, Vivi Nevo, Warren Buffett, World's Largest Media Company, Rupert Murdoch, Jose Maria Aznar, natalie Bancroft, Peter Barnes, Chase Carey, Kenneth Cowley, David DeVoe, Viet Dinh, Rod Eddington, Joel Klein, Andrew S.B. Knight, James Murdoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Thomas Perkins, Arthur Siskind, John Thornton, Stanley Shuman, Rebekah Brooks, Les Hinton, Teri Everett, jack Horner, Julie Henderson, Reed Nolte, Roger Ailes, Janet Nova, John Nallen, Beryl Cook, Michael Regan, Genie Gavenchak, Brian Lewis, Irena Briganti, Dan Berger, Rosabel Tao, Steven Rubenstein, Suzanne Halpin, Elisabeth Murdoch, Carol Bartz, Roy Bostock, Patti Hart, Sue James, Vyomesh Joshi, David Kenny, Arthur Kern, Brad Smith, Gary Wilson, Jerry Yang, Blake Irving, Ross Levinsohn, Rose Tsou, Rich Riley, Tim Morse, Michael J. Callahan, David Dibble, David Filo, Dr. Prabhakar Roghavan, Jeff Russakow, Elisa Steele, David Windley, Scott Thompson

SCREAMING BUY!

YHOO is headed for $50/share.

Marissa Mayer is a perfect choice.

Great for Yahoo!

Great for Silicon Valley.

It’s a stunning move – completely shocking and unexpected.

If you’re worried about her pregnancy – then shame on you.

Her pregnancy makes me even more bullish on the stock.

Marissa is going to make this work and no one should question it (especially the loser stock holders who, for some reason, were holding Yahoo! stock before this announcement).

I, frankly, didn’t think the Yahoo! Board had the cojones to make such a choice.

Well done.

And next year, at Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference crap-fest for moguls, there will be a new Woman of Sun Valley (sorry Sheryl Sandberg).

And if, for whatever reason, things don’t work out (very small chance), Ms. Mayer can take comfort that like her predecessors Scott Thompson, Jerry Yang and Carol Bartz, Manka Bros. will offer her a job.

Good luck, Marissa (don’t read too many blog comments).

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

March 1, 2012March 1, 2012

Andrew Breitbart – Dead And Already Forgotten

Andrew Breitbart died just after midnight last night.

He was 43 years old.

I offer my deepest condolences to his family and friends. A sudden death like this is incredibly tragic.

Yes, he was an asshole (at least in my mind) and a much hated Right Wing Conservative political bomb thrower. He rarely cared who he verbally stepped on, attacked or ruined.

To be fair, he was also much loved (I suppose) by the Far Right.

But politics is not the point here.

The point is – the man died last night.

The media has already flashed the “Breaking News” alert, flooded social media, analyzed his impact on society, put forward ideas on who will replace him on the bomb throwing Right, etc.

The man has been dead for less than 9 hours!

It immediately reminded me of CNN’s 9/11 coverage. I distinctly remember Jeff Greenfield standing on CNN’s roof with the World Trade Center still standing far in the background with smoke pouring out after the planes hit (and minutes before the collapse) and he’s basically summing up what it will all mean historically and what can we learn from this tragedy.

News coverage today is a complete joke and further proof that the world’s attention span is completely shot. With one final TWEET, Andrew was gone – forever.

What kind of a world are we living in when Davy Jones’ death (yesterday) is old news?

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

February 13, 2012February 22, 2012

Because of Sean Hannity, Republicans May Never Win Again

And that’s fine with me.

In 2010, when the Tea Party won quite a few House seats and a couple of Senate seats , many people were wrongly tricked into believing that a serious political movement had begun and a rise of the Far Right was imminent.

(Frankly, I believe these were ‘protest candidate’ candidates that were elected mostly because the country was at the height of the Great Recession and there was a lot of misery and demand for change out there.)

Well, the call for change is coming to an end, the country is on the mend and the Republicans that want to keep their jobs are drifting back to the center.

And if they don’t drift to the center they will, most likely, be voted out of office because the wacko Right is no longer a viable alternative.

And, I believe, much of this rejection of change is because of a Sean Hannity EPIC FAIL.

It turns out, the majority of Americans do not want to live in Sean Hannity’s world.

His is a world of constant conflict for the sake of ratings. A world of hammering a message over and over and over again turning his audience into something similar to school children in North Korea.

And it’s a message that never wavers: “Anyone but Obama…” (The Republican pundit establishment has apparently changed that slightly – “Anyone but Obama or Romney…”)

Well, because of this message – and the millions who follow Mr. Hannity – the Republicans may well be stuck with Rick ‘The Stick’ Santorum (just as they nearly got stuck with Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry).

I can now confirm, with 0% of the vote counted, Rick Santorum has LOST the 2012 general election to President Obama.

There is no question Santorum has already lost without one vote being counted. Bob Dole’s loss to Bill Clinton in 1996 will be considered a close race compared to an Obama vs. Santorum election.

Santorum will, most likely, get the lowest number of female votes in the history of Presidential elections (unless you count the Presidential races in which women did not have the right to vote).

However, Santorum will, most likely, win the Fascist vote as he is the candidate with the most images on the internet with a Hitler mustache Photoshopped onto his face.

Now, what’s crazy about all this is I firmly believe Sean Hannity, deep down, doesn’t care how people live their lives. I firmly believe that if the ratings dictated a different point of view, Mr. Hannity would shift on a dime to the Left and still claim that his moral compass has never wavered.

He would refute this claim vehemently. And, to be fair, he has never had to face that problem because there are millions of Americans that he has focused on that love the bomb throwing, the red meat and any other political metaphor you can think of.

But because of this extremism and, yes, short-sighted view of the world, Sean Hannity is costing his political party the chance to win against a vulnerable incumbent.

It is obvious we are living in a crazy time when Ann Coulter is the voice of reason at CPAC. Say what you want about her, she is not a stupid person. She knows there is only one candidate that has a slight chance against President Obama and that is Mitt Romney.

Why the Republican establishment hasn’t thrown everything behind Mitt is beyond me. Perhaps it’s because there is also a feeling Mitt Romney cannot win either. (I am one of those people.)

But he’s really the only choice there is to even get close to the lofty John McCain numbers of 2008.

Of course, Sean Hannity (and Rush and all the others) could swing things by full on endorsing Mr. Romney. But if he did, he would lose half his audience and his street cred as a bomb throwing ‘lover of freedom’ (though most people would consider ‘love’ and ‘freedom’ two things that are lacking in his political philosophy).

Mr. Hannity really doesn’t care who is President. It is probably more fun for him to criticize President Obama than it was to defend President Bush. And it certainly won’t be fun for him to have to defend President Santorum (who, remember, has 0% chance to win).

Like I said – it’s completely fine with me. The implosion of the Grand Old Party is actually quite amusing.

God speed, Sean Hannity – you are President Obama’s best friend these days.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea

January 27, 2012May 15, 2012

Facebook And The Disappearing Valuation (A Fairy Tale)

Once upon a time, in the tiny hamlet of Menlo Park, California, there was a company called Facebook.

This company was unlike any other (sorry, make that ‘like MANY others’) in that it connected people from around world through a magical and glorious technical achievement called the Internet.

Everyone loved Facebook:

“Oh my God, it is so easy to upload pictures of my baby!”

“I can’t believe I found all my old high school and college friends so easily!”

“Hey everyone, I’m off to get a coffee – can’t start my day without coffee!”

People from around the world chatted, and shared, and reconnected. There was something really exciting going on in the tiny hamlet of Menlo Park.

But then, one day, because Facebook was growing so so so very large – and its bills were growing so so so much – it needed to somehow make money.

Facebook was so kind that they didn’t want to charge people for the privilege of using its service – so it added advertising. Advertising so tiny that the people of the world didn’t even noticed the ads were there.

“There are ads on Facebook? You know, I’ve never seen one – and I certainly have never clicked on one! Good for them.”

Perhaps Mean Old Mr. Advertiser started to realize that no one was clicking or even noticing his ads.

But little Facebook still needed to get paid – I mean, even a whore has to eat – so they decided to work something out with Mean Old Mr. Advertiser.

Maybe they could somehow leverage their size and sell the personal information of their 900 million users. Would that keep Mean Old Mr. Advertiser off their backs so they could resume their happy life of connecting the world and bringing nothing but joy?

Facebook was so kind to its users that they even added a “Like” button (because “Like” is much nicer than “Dislike” and Coca-Cola doesn’t want to see how many people “Dislike” Coke Zero).

It was so simple, users could either “Like” something or choose not to hit the “Like” button. It was up to the user.

That worked for awhile until the users of the world started to realize what was happening. Many users got angry and felt their privacy was being invaded.

About 15 people actually quit Facebook (while another 100 million signed up).

After a few months, things calmed in the tiny hamlet of Menlo Park and the people on Facebook – to a lesser degree – felt fairly happy again.

But then, one day, Facebook decided that the users of the world needed to share every bit of information about their lives – from birth to even death – and put it all into a very conforming and dizzying glop of data called Timeline.

Mean Old Mr. Advertiser LOVED the idea of Timeline.

Finally, Facebook was thinking like him. Now they got the idea. Mean Old Mr. Advertiser could scour the lives of the people of the world and target them with goods and services that they may or may not enjoy.

And somehow, in just a brief eight years of existence – little Facebook grew and grew and grew and became worth $100 BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS! Oh, goodness, pardon me. (An IPO last year would been insane! What a missed opportunity!… but I digress.)

Well, from here the story gets a little tragic.

The beaten down people of the world and users of Facebook grew so exhausted from the daily overhauls of the site (which were necessary to maximize revenue) that they actually stopped spending time on Facebook – instead reading real books to their children and enjoying the outside world.

Comments started to appear on other websites (yes, there are actually other websites) saying they hate Facebook, are never going back and are quitting.

Poor little Facebook. They just wanted to HELP the world – not FUCK OVER the world.

How could a crappy redesign and a selling of their soul piss people off so much?

It’s just a website after all (one that is on its way to becoming WORTHLESS and must be STOPPED for the good of the world!… one more digression).

I mean, why do the people of the world care so much?

Well, we all know how the story ends.

Disgruntled engineers (and let’s assume an MBA or two) who helped create the chaos from the direction of Uncle Mark and Aunt Sheryl, began grumbling about their need to become millionaires and billionaires like so many of their friends.

The only way to stop them from leaving the tiny hamlet of Menlo Park – and going to, oh, say, the dangerous crack alleys of Mountain View and Cupertino to seek their fortune – was to take the company public.

By selling $5 or $10 billion dollars in stock to the ‘public’ (at a BULLSHIT valuation of $100 billion!) everyone could become rich and (yes) happy.

So at least the employees of Facebook will now be happy. The people of the world, who are seriously beginning to hate Facebook and are either leaving or staying away in droves, are less and less happy every day.

But Mean Old Mr. Facebook couldn’t care less – the users can go fuck themselves.

“Just put your freakin’ family photos in the template we have provided, “Like” the new Coke Zero, play the stupid Zynga games, pay for a movie rental, pay for a music subscription, and keep your stupid mouth shut. We’re not getting to a trillion dollar valuation from pictures of your goddamned baby!”

Mean Old Mr. Facebook is right. The User is wrong.

The moral of the story: Don’t screw your users. They’re the ones that built you up and they’re the ones that will bring you down.

Jill Kennedy – OnMedea