Manka Bros. Would Like To Offer Mary Parent A Job

Ari Emanuel, Bedi A. Singh, Ben Silverman, Bruce Tuchman, Chairman's Blog, Charles Cohen, Cypress Entertainment Group, Erik Lomis, Garoge, Gary Barber, Gary Marenzi, Gary S. Weinstein, Gerald Ament, Glenn M. Creamer, Harry E. Sloan, Inc., Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jim Packer, Jonathan Glickman, Jonathan M. Nelson, Jose Gutierrez, Julie A. Fisher, Ken Schapiro, Ken Shapiro, Khan Manka, Manka Bros., Mary Parent, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, MGM, MGM sale, Michael Vollman, Patrick Corso, Paul J. Salem, Peter Oillataguerre, Providence Equity Partners, Qualia Capital, Rebekah Rudd, Roger Birnbaum, Scott Packman, Spyglass, Stephen F. Cooper, Steve Hendry, Terry Semel, World's Largest Media CompanyGood afternoon.  Moments ago, I was made aware that Gary Barber and Roger Birnbaum have become the heads of MGMGary, Roger and I go way back and I wish them nothing but the best (word of advice – just produce The Hobbit and James Bond movies and everything will be okay.  Let the other studios produce the crap movies that don’t make money).

As a casualty of this announcement, I would imagine Mary Parent will no longer be handling the production duties at the studio.

Because of this, Mary, I would like to offer you a job at Manka Bros. Much like my offer to Jeff Zucker last week and mostly because of Manka Bros.’ recent horrible run at the box office and on television, you can pick whatever job at the studio you would like (with the exception of Lloyd Grohl’s – which is not to be touched).

I would gladly fire Robin Rafe (head of the Manka Bros. Theatrical Group) or Jay McBee (head of the Manka Bros. Television Group) immediately if you showed the slightest interest.

Just let me know.  We may not be able to offer you “The Hobbit” but we are producing the 13th century Icelandic sagas The Prose Edda and The Poetic Edda by Snorri Sturluson.  These epics are so much cooler than “The Hobbit” it’s not even funny.

We’re also doing a $300 million adaptation of The Book of Habakkuk (for my money, the BEST book of the Bible – Old or New Testament).

So, as you can see, there are some big things on our plate… we just someone that’s competent to shepherd these projects home.

Come home to Manka Bros. We’ve got all-you-can-eat yogurt every Friday!

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company