December 2013 – Chairman's Blog

What a ridiculous list of nominations!

Another farce.

Another embarrassment.

And the Hollywood Foreign Press can F themselves. Right in the A.

Really, HFPA, you couldn’t find ONE Manka Bros. movie or TV show to nominate this year?

Did you see the Manka Bros. Films slate or the Manka Highbrow slate?

After last year’s snub, I said I was done with the Golden Globes – that they shouldn’t even think about nominating a Manka Bros. movie or TV show.

Well – and I’m serious this time like the heart attacks you’re all going to have soon – next year there will be no more cases of Slivovitz sent to your homes, no more Camel Turkish Blend cigarettes, no more vats of that God-awful perfume you always wear when you “go to disco.”

I’m done.

Just remember this, no matter how many times you nominate Jennifer Lawrence, she’s never going to “party with you.”

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

Good afternoon.

For the second straight year, because it was a horrible year for the studio, I have cancelled the planned Holiday Party Extravaganza at the Downtown L.A. Live complex. Please inform your children that Santa Claus has been canned and will not be there.

Because not one of the business divisions stepped up and even made the slightest attempt to improve the numbers, there will be no ice skating, no drunking, no gift bags full of amazing shit – no holiday cheer.

If you’re looking for fun this holiday season, try crashing a Disney or Warner Bros. party. They had much better years. Maybe Santa will be there.

If anyone needs me, I will be at my house in The Seychelles attempting to figure out how we survive another year with the crappy bunch of employees I have working for me.

I realize that morale is a delicate thing – but I’ve been coddling you sons and daughters of bitches for too long!

2014 will be the Year of the Hammer (if you know what I mean).

Over the two days I am giving you off (December 25 and January 1), take some time to review your failures of the past year(s) and be prepared to convince me why I should still employ you after I return to the studio in January.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. Studios – The World’s Largest Media Company

[dictated but not read]

Month: December 2013

Again, The Hollywood Foreign Press Association Can F Themselves

The Manka Bros. Holiday Party Is Cancelled