Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 2 – Shit Storm

This is Day 2 of what the press now regularly call “Herb Allen’s Summer Camp For Moguls.”

I’ve been thinking all day about the term “Shit Storm” (mostly because the all day panels about supply chain and how to lead in a crisis have been… shit.)

We say that term a lot in society but I’ve never really thought about it… literally.

Imagine you’re in a thunder storm – raining, thunder, lightning – but instead of rain… it’s SHIT that’s coming down on you from the sky and it just keeps coming. You are being pounded with shit.

This is what a SHIT STORM is.

And, I imagine, it’s not a pleasant experience.

That’s kind of where we are on Day 2 in Sun Valley.

This week in July on the mogul calendar is meant to be a week where we feel we are all so fucking important that we actually feel good about ourselves and what we have chosen to do with our lives.

The truth is, in Hollywood (as I mentioned in my drunken Day 1 commentary), the moguls in Hollywood are getting older and the moguls in tech seem to be getting younger (sounds like a Matthew McConaughey line from ‘Dazed & Confused’).

This is a problem.

And, as I mentioned last night, the  young executives at Manka Bros. keep leaving for “better jobs” at “better companies.”

Fuck them.

I have to stay to keep the lights on. We’ve been in business for over 100 years and we sure the fuck aren’t shutting down just because… [Manka Bros. lawyer note: “Rest of sentence has been purged from the blog.”]

My daughter, Connie (but on the Board of Directors), is only 14 and probably too young to take over the family firm and my CFO (currently my #2) Barb Gonzalez is a machine in which we use A.I. technology to do her job.

Hollywood is in trouble.

And to top it off, we can’t even make this a decent vacation – free from the worries of the shit storm outside of the shit storm. This was the breakfast this morning – which they called the “Warren Buffett.”

Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 2 – The Warren Buffett

After breakfast, a few moguls ran, a few moguls road bikes, a few moguls played golf, many were walking fast past reporters acting like they were on the phone.

Oh, think twice, it’s just another day for you and me in mogul-dice.

What was lacking… was substance. And if you look at the Manka Bros. Film Library from the past 100 years – you would know Manka Bros. has always been about about substance.

The biggest problem with this conference I’ve seen over the years is that the Hollywood people hang out with Hollywood people, the nerds hang out with nerds, the dorks hang out with dorks. There doesn’t seem to be a brotherhood or sisterhood of billionaires. We’re all in different clubs.

Which brings me back to Trivia Night on Day 1. I teased that if nothing exciting happened on Day 2 – I would write about Day 1 trivia at Tha Drankin’ Hole.

Herb Allen’s Trivia Night – Sun Valley Conference 2022

It did not disappoint (on a shit storm scale):

Barry Diller thought the capital of Arkansas was “Bum Fuck.”

Mark Zuckerberg thought a quart of orange juice cost $50.

Rupert Murdoch thought the current Australian prime minister’s name was “my bitch.”

Jeffrey Katzenberg opined that the battle for freedom in America starts with the Malibu City Council.

On the plus side, almost everyone knew the latest Gulfstream was the Gulfstream 800.

But it all came down to one question and Peter Thiel could have won the whole thing for the “Tech” side when asked the question: “Who won the 2020 U.S. Presidential Election?” Thiel – without pause – said “Donald Trump.”

With that answer, Tech lost to “liberal” Hollywood.

Who knows what Day 3 will bring – but I promise you this, it will be another SHIT STORM.

 

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 1 – The New Guard… Not!

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2021

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Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2009

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2008

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 1 – The New Guard… Not!

Yes, I did make it here.

And, yes, it sucks again – and it’s just the first night. I am dictating this to my assistant, Vicky Adler-Modry at 1:30am on July 6th.

There was drunkening tonight at Tha Drankin’ Hole (thanks to the fucking greatest bartender on the planet – Vin Tran – read the past posts at the bottom to prove his legendary status) and this may not come out as coherent – but Vicky has learned over the years how to translate from drunk to English so we’ll see how it goes.

That said, it was an epic night of old white men drinking heavily and continuing to be out-of-touch with everyone, basically, the world. (And I include myself in that description – and I’m not an out-of-touch hypocrite – I’m in an in-touch hypocrite.)

I arrived at Tha Drankin’ Hole with two twenties and a ten burning a hole in my pocket (movie nerds will get that reference) and excited to see my great friend Vin.

Vin Tran: Mr. Khan – so great to see you again!

I then checked my wallet and, turns out, I was a little light on cash.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Vin, how’s my credit here? I seem to be a little light.

Vin Tran: Your credit is fine, Mr. Khan. And, not to worry, Herb Allen is picking up the tab.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Normally, I would appreciate that, Vin, but Herbie Allen has stiffed me so often on poker bets, golf bets, personal loans… if you ever give him a dollar, he will try to pay you back in expired South African Kougarands.

Vin Tran: Well, this one is on the house.

I barely got one sip of my perfect dirty martini from Vin when Bob Chapek came into the bar and sat next to me – even though there were several empty barstools further away from me available.

Bob Chapek: Is it safe?

Khan Manka, Jr.: The fuck.

Bob Chapek: Just kidding, I know it’s not safe. Can I buy you a drink, Khan?

Khan Manka, Jr.: Supposedly, Herb Allen is picking up the tab.

Bob Chapek: (laughs) – Have you ever played poker with that prick?

Khan Manka, Jr.: I was just saying that! He has always been a dine and dash kind of guy.

Bob Chapek: Bartender, Johnny Walker Blue – double.

Vin Tran stares at Bob Chapek, confused.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Bob, you didn’t say the magic word.

Bob Chapek: Magic word.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Gay.

Bob Chapek: Ha ha, ha. This is Idaho, Khan, you can’t say “gay” here either but where’s the media pointing that out?

Khan Manka, Jr.: Touche.

Bob Chapek: So how’s your year looking… oh, fuck.

Bob Iger entered – seemingly on a cloud – not really touching the floor and approached the bar.

Bob Iger: Vin Tran, you son of a bitch, so great to see you!

They embraced.

Vin Tran: Mr. Iger–

Bob Iger: ‘Bob,’ you know that.

Vin Tran: Bob, my favorite – what will it be.

Bob Iger: When in Sun Valley, and my favorite bartender from Vietnam is here – bring on the Mekong River Eel Wine.

Vin Tran: We keep it in stock just for you, Mr. Bob.

Bob Iger put several hundred dollar bills on the bar.

Bob Iger: Keep the change.

Vin Tran: Mr. Herb Allen is covering the bill this week.

Bob Iger: Herb Allen, what a guy! He always picks up the check! Hi Khan… Bob… Chapek.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Hi Bob. How’s retirement treating you?

Bob Iger: Retirement?! I’ve never been more busy. All those charities aren’t going to philanthropize themselves!.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Still hanging from that bar?

Bob Iger: Four hours a day. Keeps me young.

Bob Chapek: Are you just here for the hikes and golf? I can’t imagine you have any business interest here.

Bob Iger: That’s the problem with you, Bob. You can’t IMAGINE. How’s the happiest place on earth?

Bob Chapek: Vin, I’ll have another.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Guys, come on, we’re all moguls. Enjoy it. I hear Herbie is planning a trivia night tonight. That could be fun.

Bob Iger: Vin, keep the river eel shit coming.

I had both Bobs from Disney on either side of me and needed a distraction before this became a full man-on-man pathetic slap fight. And… thank God, I got one in spades.

Rupert Murdoch entered the bar.

Rupert Murdoch is 91 but appeared no older than 90. He is newly-single from his fourth wife, Jerry Hall, and, it appeared, he was ready to mingle.

Rupert Murdoch: Motherfucking, Bob and Bob… and Khan!

Khan Manka, Jr.: Mick Jagger called. He wants his ex-wife back.

Rupert Murdoch: No, he doesn’t. That’s the fucking problem. Are we drinking?

Khan Manka, Jr.: Yeah.

Rupert Murdoch: Are you my wingman tonight?

Khan Manka, Jr.: For who? Sheryl Sandberg. There aren’t many women who come to this conference.

Rupert Murdoch: I mean a waitress, a valet – anything that moves.

Khan Manka, Jr.: No, not your wingman.

Over the next two hours, the Bobs, Rupert and I drank heavily. I didn’t learn much about what was happening at their businesses other than they truly think they are on top of it – so no need for new blood.

Manka Bros. has always looked to the future and have lead the way with every new innovation that the other studios either stole or copied exactly. We’re even starting a podcast division!

But I look at the Bobs and Rupert and his kids and all the other Hollywood moguls and fear we’re leaving generations of fans behind.

I can’t retire because my CFO is an Artificial Intelligence machine – Barb (innovation!) – and all my number twos keep leaving for “better jobs” (their words).

So, I’m managing this shit down until I live out my days in my house in the Seychelles.

Herb Allen (speaking of out of touch) came into the bar and made a brief painful speech about the future of some sort of bullshit.

Herb Allen: We are on the precipice of… blah blah blah…

Preach on, 84-year-visionary.

The tech CEOs, who are destroying the world’s mental health, entered a few minutes later – as robots… OK, just Zuckerberg – not drinking and really only there to try to destroy the boomer moguls in trivia.

Good luck, jack fuck!

A local actor in a regional production of ‘Ragtime’ – Jerome Todd – was the one tasked with running the trivia night to a group of drunken billionaires. Being one of the only actors of color to have a theater job in Idaho was an impressive feat – not that it meant anything to Rupert or Barry Diller who were just hoping to guess the name of the dog in ‘Wizard of Oz’ before the tech nerds.

If nothing happens tomorrow that is interesting (future of streaming, theatrical and television), I will recount the disaster tonight that was Trivia at Tha Drankin’ Hole.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2022 – Day 2 – Shit Storm

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2021

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2018

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2017

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2016

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2015

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2013

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2012

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2011

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2010

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2009

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2008

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2021 – Vlad The Impaler

It has been a long time since I’ve interacted with people.

I’ve been at my house in the Seychelles for 16 months. I was terrified to leave my house because the locals there were hoping to get Covid and die because of their miserable lives working in the service of billionaires living on their islands.

My life is not miserable. So I wasn’t ready to die.

Herb Allen reached out to me in May and said he was having the Sun Valley Mogul conference and knew that if I came, so would Bezos, and Gates, and Zaslav and Iger, etc.

So it was up to me if this conference as going happen. So I, reluctantly, said yes. Even though my mind is not right. My mind is fucked up because of Covid. I live in a world where the ‘paranormal’ seems ‘normal’ these days.

I’m starting to believe that there are vampires walking among us and many of them are media moguls.

While many will say this is a paranoid fantasy concocted in my own brain, I know, for a fact, this is the truth. It sounds like the babbling of a crazy man – but it’s not.

(While I did call this blog ‘Vlad The Impaler’ there is really onto one mogul who would actually impale the heads of his fellow moguls on a pike outside of his castle – and that is Barry Diller.)

$100 million start up fund, Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Apple iPad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Avatar, Bacara, Barry Diller, Ben Hur, Ben Hur Silverman, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Bryan Lourd, Craig Smith, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Electus Logo, Ezra Kucharz, Fortune's 40 under 40, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, IAC, Jack Nicholson, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jay Leno, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Keynote address, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, media analyst, Michael Eisner, Michael Jackson, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, MIPTV Conference 2010, NBC Universal, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Pyramid Lake, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club, Roman Polanski, Ryan Seacrest, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Southern Fried Rock, Steve Jobs, Super Bowl 44, Terry Semel, The Biggest Loser, the Jay Leno Show, The Restaurant, The Tonight Show, thewrap.com, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, twitter, Victor Kaufman

But I digress.

Last night, at the Drankin’ Hole, I actually saw Bill Gates drink blood from a glass and it wasn’t a Bloody Mary. While that is not normal, I get it. I’ve been through a horrible divorce and once contemplated drinking blood (though I didn’t actually do it).

But Gates is an actual vampire.

He drank the blood of a start-up founder he helped to fund (because what start-up founder wouldn’t donate their own blood to Bill Gates for a check?!) and it had nothing to do with his divorce situation.

And my great friend, the greatest bartender the world has ever seen – Bin Tran, has confirmed this fact.

Under a promise that I wouldn’t blog about it (fuck that), he confirmed that he had a gallon of human blood behind the bar just for Bill Gates and a quart of human blood just for Charlie Munger (he’s not a vampire – it’s just to keep his heart pumping with new blood that actually works).

Things are not right here. It’s all fucked up. And it may just be my own mental state right now, but I actually believe that people’s lives are in danger here.

In my history and life in Hollywood, I have never seen the level of murder-lust than I have this year. So many moguls want to kill other moguls.

I mean, I understood it in the 1970s when people wanted to kill Jack Warner – but now, everyone wants to kill everyone. And mostly just because their TV show didn’t win an award.

And now the only thing that seems to keep media moguls happy is the chance to go into space. What the fuck kind of middle age crisis is happening. I’m past middle age and have no desire to die in space (or even live in space). I want to go to Cannes, drink cocktails and watch fucking movies.

Jeff Bezos told me that he was terrified of going into space and has arranged for a blue screen film production to make it look like he actually does go to space without having to sit on top of a rocket that could explode. This was, also, confidential information that I could give a shit whether it comes out.

This is my current mental state.

I give no fucks.

I think I’ll leave Sun Valley tomorrow – not wanting to participate in the ‘Life After Covid In Media’ panel which promises to suck.

To really suck.

You want to know what ‘Live After Covid In Media’ is?

It’s media. It’s film. It’s television. It’s games. It’s the fucking same!

I’m tired and worried that Bill Gates wants to suck my blood. Hopefully he goes after others first.

Good night. Worst Allen & Co. event ever!

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

 

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019

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Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2013

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2012

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2011

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2010

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2009

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2008

Manka Bros. To Produce Over 400 TV Series And Movies For Its OTT Service In 2021

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

Good afternoon.

This is THE BIG ONE.

Manka Bros. – the World’s Largest Media Company (and getting bigger every day!) is planting the biggest fucking content flag in Hollywood… suck on that!

As you all know, Manka Bros. announced we are going over-the-top with a new SVOD service MankaGoNow. We made the announcement over a year ago and we’re finally getting close to launch.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg

AND WHAT A LAUNCH IT WILL BE!

In 2020, Manka Bros. will be producing OVER 400(!) new multi-year series, event series, mini-series, animated series, feature films, documentaries, reality shows, talk shows… every goddamned format on the planet – and it’s ONLY available on MankaGoNowthe soon to be world’s largest (and, therefore, best) OTT service.

That’s not a platitude – that’s a motherf-ing fact!

[MB Lawyer note: Whether that’s a fact or not is TBD.]

We read everyday the exorbitant numbers being spent on new content: Netflix spending $12 billion a year; Amazon spending $8 billion a year… Disney, HBO Max, Peacock, etc. Every day it’s some new crazy number.

But from what we’ve seen so far, they are all producing bull shit and WE are produce good shit. So suck that again, Hollywood!

And don’t get me started on Jeffrey Katzenberg’s silly little streaming folly that will lose investors at least $2 billion!

At Manka Bros., we are taking an opposite (read: smarter) approach – MORE CONTENT FOR LESS MONEY!

We must have heard over a seven hundred pitches – but only four hundred or so made the cut and got a greenlight!

It’s a long… long… long list – more content produced in one year that any studio ever!

So get yourself comfortable, grab a glass of wine or do a line of coke (whatever your thing might be) and get ready to SUBSCRIBE!

[MB Lawyer note: We don’t recommend any of the above behavior. Alcohol and drugs are bad. Also, some shows below are still under contract negotiation and are only being announced under a mutual agreement between the parties involved.]

  1. MankaGoNow Awards (live event): Annual award show honoring the best shows on MankaGoNow.
  2. Burbank’s Thursday Afternoon Book Club For The Fucking Unmotivated (multi-year series, comedy): A group of losers who can’t seem to accomplish anything they talk about live in a shitty Burbank apartment, read a book every week and then podcast about it.
  3. Trouble Clef (movie, drama): Someone is killing the great 12-tone composers of the world. Probably someone who had to listen to that shit.
  4. Mac McCord – Double Down (live event, music): Country superstar Mac McCord puts a pause on his world tour to go LIVE for MankaGoNow subscribers this Arbor Day from the fabulous Tonga Hut in North Hollywood, California, to regale fans with some of his most beloved plantinum hits including “A Crazy Kind Of Love,” “It’s The Super Bowl, Bitch,” “She Put The ‘C’ In Country,” and “The Lord IS My Jesus.” #CMA
  5. Portland PodiFiles (multi-year series, drama/romance): What happens in those woods? Bigfoot erotica. “We’ve all imagined.” A “Beauty and the Beast” story that actually gets it right – out of the sewer and real! #bigfoot, #bigfooterotica
  6. The A.I. Blockchain Virtual Reality Variety Hour (multi-year series, variety): Comedy skits, magic tricks, songs and bits all produced and performed by artificial intelligence.
  7. Dearly Departed (multi-year series, comedy): Old cantankerous couple goes to random funerals every day and reviews / podcasts about the funeral and, in particular, the eulogy. They become a hit and when they have to explain to friends and family why they do this, they always respond with a shrug and say “It’s a living.”
  8. Chou Vindication (movie, drama): A baker takes his controversial cake to the Supreme Court. Directed by Ganache D’Souza.
  9. Married Alive (multi-year series, comedy): Carla and Sonny were matched to be married since they were in pre-school on Staten Island. They hated each other until high school. Then had sex. Then had to get married. And now, they’re married, and it’s a total disaster.
  10. MiddleApril (limited series, drama): Manka Bros.’ 11-part sequel to George Eliot’s classic novel “Middlemarch.” 
  11. Craptastic! (reality series, talk): Two theater reviewers seek out America’s worst Community Theater and mercilessly rip apart a new production every week.
  12. Justinian’s Jugheads (animated series, kids): Manka Kids presents The Original Coder! The hilarious life of this sixth century upstart coder and his voracious band of sidekicks! Justinian writes killer (but civil) code, and together with his crazy tribe, break all the rules as they eat and pillage their way across the globe – in the good sense.
  13. Lowering the Barre (multi-series, comedy): Mockumentary-style comedy series set inside the world’s shittiest ballet company. Directed by Christopher Guest. [MB Lawyer: Mr. Guest is not officially attached as he hasn’t read the script… yet.]
  14. You Call That Brain Surgery? (reality series, competition): World-class brain surgeons compete against each other in front of a panel of judges, with one winner to be crowned “World Greatest Brain Surgeon.”
  15. Giiiihad!!! (musical, live theater): Starring Gigi Hadid with music and lyrics by [MB Lawyer – composers have requested names be redacted and are terrified for their lives]. Jihad – Broadway-style. Gigi’s dad, Mohammed Hadid, fights the Malibu HOA to get his hideous McMansion built.
  16. 2nd Act Black Friend (movie, comedy): In a normal romantic comedy, the 2nd Act Black Friend has a scene or two with the white male lead and delivers a poignant line or two to get him back on track. We’re giving the 2nd Act Black Friend his own movie – and his 2nd Act Friend will be gay.
  17. The Incubator (movie, horror): A reclusive billionaire serial killer is funding start-ups just so he can kill the founders, one by one.
  18. Rampage Of The Stegosaur – The Musical (live event): Direct from Broadway, the soon to close “Rampage Of The Stegosaur” musical (based on the live-action “Rampage Of The Stegosaur” theatrical blockbuster) will live stream for MankaGoNow subscribers only.
  19. Get In The Goddamn Motherfucking Bathtub! (animated, short): Unauthorized sequel to children’s publishing sensation “Go The Fuck To Sleep.” [MB Lawyer: No legals issues here, completely different story.]
  20. Sinheritance (movie, comedy): Sadistic rich uncle Larry dies and leaves behind a will – that can be claimed by only one relative. To earn the inheritance, the winner must commit the Seven Deadly Sins (and record it) in the fastest amount of time.
  21. Sans Serif (multi-year series, comedy): Publishing house employees have hilarious battles about layout, font choices and the Oxford comma which doesn’t stop them from dating, hating and, yes, killing each other.
  22. Seamus’ Pub Stops (live events, music): International music phenomenon Seamus travels the world and plays the world’s biggest arenas – but did you know he also shows up at local pubs and does pop-up shows? Throughout the year, MankaGoNow, follows Seamus to his drunken pub crawls and records the shows exclusively for subscribers!
  23. Crimea River (limited series, comedy): True to her word, after her presidential candidate fails to be elected, a faded mega pop star from Brooklyn moves to a five-star Crimea river resort on the Black Sea. She throws the people of Ukraine under the bus after falling in love with a Russian occupier. #barbra
  24. Wishdasher (movie, family): Some people don’t deserve to have dreams – and the Wishdasher (Jane Seymour) makes sure they never come true for those people.
  25. Mind Kampf (movie, drama): A contemporary man is thrust back in time, incarnating the body of Hitler’s publisher. Will he be able to stop the horrors to come?
  26. All Hands On Dick (multi-year series, comedy): Dick is a massage therapist by day (with a very wealthy older female clientele), and an exotic dancer at night. He solves other people’s problems first with his hand, and then with their hands on him.
  27. The First Supper (short, comedy): Christ throws a party for his friends in his new apartment. #housewarming
  28. Boytoyevsky (movie, biography): A lightly researched biography of Russian writer Vladimir Doystoyevsky and his crazy sex life when he wasn’t working on the world’s greatest novels.
  29. What’s In The Shed, Ma’am? (reality series, investigative): Actors hired by Manka Bros. dress as policemen and go to houses in rural Arkansas demanding to know… “What’s in the shed, ma’am?” Most of the time, it’s sometime truly horrifying.
  30. Allah’s Challahs (reality series, food): Regional chefs concoct dynamic Middle Eastern fusion cuisine filmed deep in the heart of Riyadh and its surroundings (if our crew can get out!). #cliffhanger
  31. Zapruder Presents (reality series, news): The exact opposite of “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” Abraham Zapruder’s (from the classic Manka Bros. series “Zapruder’s Roving Eye”) grandson, Jacob, introduces clips of horrible things happening to good people, with a studio audience.
  32. Morbidness (movie, horror): Charles Yang, a macabre book store owner in San Francisco increases his sales after people start getting murdered in his shop.
  33. Ballerina Boot Camp (movie, family): A sadistic ballet mistress puts all the little princesses, little monsters and sweetie pies through the rigors of the most physically demanding ballet classes these six-year-olds have ever had.
  34. Culinary Conundrums Of Great Literature – Hosted By M.O.M. Fischer (reality series, culinary reenactment): Did it seem odd to you that on his first night in Dracula’s Castle solicitor Jonathan Harker is served Hungarian Goulash by the Count? Impossible! A necessary ingredient of Hungarian Goulash is Garlic, and, the stinking rose is an existential threat to Dracula! Pulitzer Prize winning food writer, M.O.M. Fischer will search for the meaning of Bram Stoker’s tasty tease, as well as other careless culinary continuities throughout literature’s great works. #mfkfisher, #HungarianGoulash, #dracula
  35. I, Juror (event series, drama): After democracy has been abolished from every country that has… democracy, one juror from the decaying system’s final trial, Euroa Unione is “elected” to be in charge of everything that happens on the planet… and he’s a real prick.
  36. Send In The Nouns (live-action series, kids, educational): Manka Kids afternoon show in which lovable characters in the shape of punctuation symbols teach kids about grammar.
  37. Hippotist (animated series, kids): Shelly is a lonely hippopotamus in the Sacramento Zoo. She is also a hypnotist – and uses that skill to hypnotize other zoo animals into playing with her.
  38. Christian Lions (animated series, faith): Manka Faith inspirational children’s show about Lion missionaries bringing the word of Christ to other animals.
  39. Protect Yourself At All Times (reality series, sports): The amazing Dr. Rich is THE doctor in the pro boxing and MMA world. The crusty New York doctor, working alongside his refined upper-crust Wife, are the Tracy and Hepburn of medicine.
  40. LinkedIn Presents “Resumates – HookIn’ Up” (reality series, dating): A dating show that attempts to pair couples via their LinkedIn resumes.
  41. Proust Office (short, drama): Every memory you’ve ever had can be rediscovered at the Proust Office. A favorite candy from childhood… Proust Office. A favorite smell from a restaurant that has long since closed… Proust Office. A person’s phone number that you had a crush on as a child but can’t seem to locate and it would be so great if you could show up at that person’s door as a “surprise”!
  42. The Prairie (documentary): Epic 400-hour series based on the history of the American prairie.
  43. The Harmer In The Dell (movie, horror): The Harmer kills the wife. The Harmer kills the child. The Harmer kills the nurse. The Harmer kills the cow. The Harmer kills the dog. The Harmer kills the cat. The Harmer kills the mouse. The Harmer eats the cheese.
  44. Who Or What The Fuck Is Tekashi 6ix9ine? (reality, investigative): Manka News does a deep investigation into whatever or whoever Tekashi 6ix9ine is.
  45. Grandfather Cock (movie, teen comedy): He’s a legend… the grand kids are so embarrassed.
  46. Pringles Sour Cream & Onion Presents “The Mahabharata” (live theater event): Revival of Peter Brook’s award-winning nine-hour staging of the Hindu epic. It will be streamed live April 26 without a break or intermission. (Thanks to the great folks at Pringles for their generous support.)
  47. Manfred Mann’s Earth Band Presents “This Is Bullshit” (reality series, music): Series follows the band around to all the shitty venues they must play just to survive because they haven’t had a hit since 1976 (and they didn’t even write it!).
  48. Writer’s Rooms Throughout History (reality, comedy): Manka Bros. re-imagines what it must have been like to be in a writer’s room when they all came up with Norse Mythology, The Bible, Star Wars, when they helped Shakespeare “break” Hamlet, Oedipus, etc.
  49. Martha Stewart Mysteries (multi-year series, drama): Martha Stewart’s first foray into the true crime genre. Each week, another four-course meal is prepared and another crime is solved by Detective Stewart.
  50. Chuck & The Man (multi-year series, comedy): All white reboot of 1970s comedy series “Chico & The Man.”
  51. Build-A-Bear (animated series, kids): Frankenstein story for kids in which a 5-year-old boy dresses up as a mad scientist and decides to build-a-bear from scratch using pieces of other bears. It comes to life and they have amazing adventures.
  52. Jonah & The Whale And Other Bullshit Stories About Bullshit (limited series, anti-faith): No God Productions (NOT affiliated with Manka Faith) presents this nice alternative (for our atheist subscribers).
  53. Hey, Culligan Man! (multi-year series, comedy): Period sitcom set in the 1950s in which the Culligan Man delivers water and fucks anything that moves.
  54. Iceberg (animated movie, kids): Jewish ice that floats around the Atlantic Ocean feeling really guilty about sinking the Titanic – and looking for redemption.
  55. The Much Younger Lady Who Lived In A Shoe (animated series, kids): Prequel to the ‘Little Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe.’
  56. The Bronze – A History Of Third Place (documentary, sports): Manka Sports takes a hard, critical look at those who weren’t good enough for Gold or Silver.
  57. Kareem Abdul Ja-Bear (animated series, kids): Reboot of the beloved 1980s Manka Kids series about a very wise, very tall bear (voiced again by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar).
  58. Get That Moose! (movie, kids): There’s one talking moose in all of Nova Scotia – and he got away. Are you kidding me?! That moose is worth a million dollars on the interview circuit – but first we have to save him from the first day of hunting season!
  59. Tony Mastrantanianio – Vegas Boss (event series, comedy): During the Las Vegas growth explosion of the 1950s there were casino moguls and then there was Tony Mastrantanianio – the most violent and ruthless casino boss to ever walk the Strip.
  60. Wazoom! (multi-year series, fantasy): Beloved MC Comics’ character Wazoom! finally gets his own series. Wazoom! is faster than the Flash, stronger than Superman, and is the only superhero with the power of Wazoom!
  61. #Dad = #Bullshit (multi-year series, comedy): Single dad, Ray, is having a hell of a time raising 12-year-old Carson.
  62. Joey Chestnut’s Christmas Miracle (movie, holiday): Competitive eating champion Joey Chestnut has to eat all the food at the North Pole so that Santa can slim down a bit before his Christmas toy deliveries.
  63. Je Le Que Toi, Mon Cherie (movie, musical, drama): Unsuccessful singer-songwriter trio from Keokuk, Iowa, decide to reinvent themselves as French chanteuses in Paris. Problem: They don’t speak French. They don’t sing well. And they don’t have heart. But Paris is a city of magic and even suck ass, no talents can find a way.
  64. The Death Of Jesus (documentary, faith):Our Manka Faith documentary group sends a crew to the Middle East to find out what really happened to Jesus.
  65. Fakeover (reality, fashion): Bullshit Cinderella-style makeovers that only last until midnight.
  66. Nuncompoop (multi-year series, comedy): “No, Sister Margaret, Abraham wasn’t one of Jesus’ apostles!” Series set in a convent in Hershey, Pennsylvania, young Sister Margaret doesn’t know anything about God. (Tagline: “She’s just so stupid!”)
  67. Roommating (multi-year series, comedy): These goddamned millennials change their roommates more often than a terrified chameleon changes color (read: all the time!).
  68. Teri, The Terrified Chameleon (animated series, kids): Everything seems to scare poor little Teri causing her skin to change color all the time, which freaks out her cute little jungle friends.
  69. Bargainauts (movie, family): If we can make jokes about the Albanian Army, we can certainly make jokes about the Albanian space program.
  70. Paint Drying (reality, slow-tv): A Manka Slow-TV production of actual paint drying over several hours.
  71. The Rainbeau’s Invade Vietnam! (documentary, music): Beloved Manka Kids superstar singing group The Rainbeau’s toured Vietnam last summer – and we’ve got all the footage.
  72. Toke-yo (multi-year series, comedy): Imported Japanese sitcom that takes place in a Tokyo pot shop (based on the Chinese series ‘Shang-High’).
  73. Fantine’s Revenge (or Les Miserables 2) (movie, horror): The ghost of Fantine gets her bloody revenge on all those who were horrible to her during her life.
  74. One Bad Apple (reality series): We throw one really bad person into a perfectly happy household to see if one bad apple really does spoil the whole bunch… girl.
  75. Cavalier Bedfellows (multi-year series, drama): In the 1700s, two swashbuckling swordsmen must keep their forbidden love secret as they fight for the King of France.
  76. Doggo Saves The World (movie, family): Thank God for good boye Rusty Dog who, against all odds, saves the world from a nuclear meltdown.
  77. A Flock Of Seagulls Presents ‘Hedda Gabler’: (live theater event):The 1980s New Wave band is now producing live events!  This year, on July 4th, it will be Henrik Ibsen’s ‘Hedda Gabler’ – featuring a yet be announced cast of stars.
  78. Detourist (movie, horror): A young couple on their honeymoon in Arkansas follow a detour sign only to find that it was a trap set by a family a cannibals.
  79. Jack Courted Hannah (movie, drama): Past tense in the title is because, yes, Jack “courted” Hannah (and, in flashback there was real love) – but now they’re divorced and despise each other but still have to talk because of their shared dog that neither want to give up.
  80. Ig-Lou (multi-year series, comedy): Lou Jacobson, a Jewish baker from Queens, decides he needs to change his life in a dramatic way, so he moves to the Arctic to live among the Eskimos.
  81. The Rise And Fall Of The Third Rich (multi-year series, drama): The third Rich Kent in the family is the first to go to college.
  82. Dr. Dracula (limited series, horror): If you’re sick, you have no other choice – he’s the only doctor in town.
  83. Bacon Wrapped Scallops (reality series, food): Food series set on a food truck where they serve only one item.
  84. Hyena Pups (animated series, kids): Even hyena pups are cute… and they have a band!
  85. Will Rogers Never Met A Man He Didn’t Like (documentary): The secret gay life of America’s cowboy humorist icon.
  86. How To Make $1 Million In 25 Minutes… Guaranteed (reality, educational): 25 minute educational video on how to make $1 million in 25 minutes… guaranteed.
  87. Wandmill (movie, fantasy, kids): There is a legendary windmill in the hills above Consuegra, Spain. This windmill – said to have magic wands as its blades – has never been discovered… that is until a peasant girl named Maria Alonzo happens upon it while searching for her lost pig, Horatio. Her life will never be the same.
  88. Horrible Mysteries (multi-year series, drama): Really bad mysteries, badly told. Sorry.
  89. Harlem Knights (multi-year series, drama): Deep in the heart of Harlem in the 1970s, there was one group that even police were afraid to confront – the Harlem Knights. True their names they wore suits of armor in public and road around on horses. Goddamn they were vicious but deeply loved by the community.
  90. The Rise & Fall Of The Roman Empire (multi-year series, drama): Roman Arnold is the starting high school quarterback for the Center High School Yellowjackets in Kansas City, Missouri. The series covers his amazing high school years in which he could bully anyone he wanted and have sex with any girl he wanted… to the rest of his life, uneducated, fat and working at a furniture store.
  91. So The Japanese Won World War 2… Now What? (limited series, drama): Alternate history series about what would happen if Hirohito was EVERYBODY’S Emperor.
  92. Shit That Makes Me Cry (multi-year series, documentary): Based on the Manka Bros. podcast, heartbreaking stories from around the world that will make everybody cry (animals, kids, death, etc.).
  93. 12U Girls Lacrosse (reality, live sports): Manka Sports has secured worldwide rights to the California 12U Girls Lacrosse League.
  94. Welcome To The Jingle (reality series, game show): Re-imagining of “Name That Tune” where contestants vie to name that advertising jingle from the beginning of radio to the newest products of today.
  95. Cat Box Horror (reality series, competition): Contestants race to clean out the most disgusting cat boxes from around the world. Barf rises!
  96. A-Ha! (reality series, music): The band A-ha!, that hasn’t had a hit in 30 years, shares an apartment in Oslo, plotting their comeback.
  97. Santa Ana Anne (multi-year series, drama): That sweet little old lady waving to elementary school kids every morning from her front porch has some dark fucking secrets.
  98. Penny’s From Heaven (multi-year series, faith): Manka Faith’s blatant rip-off of “Touched By An Angel.”
  99. The Waiting Game (reality series, competition): Competitive waiting show where contestants see how long they can wait for the dentist appointment before losing their minds.
  100. Rock Hard, Ride Hard (reality, sports): Equestrian daughters of the Rich and Famous are completely out of control.
  101. Unidiversity (multi-year series, comedy): A college in upstate New York in which each class is only allowed one of a particular race or ethnicity. One white, one black, one Hispanic, one Asian, etc. It’s not really funny – but it’s important.
  102. Hickory Dickory ROCK (reality series, kids): Dimebag Darrell, founding member of death metal band Pantera, hosts this kids series in which nursery rhymes are played as hardcore metal rock while 4-7-year-olds thrash around on the dance floor.
  103. And Then There Were 47 (reality series, competition): Forty-seven people of diverse backgrounds (of producer-chosen nationalities) live in a studio apartment in Queens – each week a new one turns up dead. The winner… gets to live.
  104. The Monster In Room 604 (multi-year series, comedy): The Asian family in Room 602 hate the monster in Room 604. They hate the monster’s hygiene and its off-color, inappropriate sense of humor… but sometimes, you just need to borrow a cup of sugar.
  105. BuzzFeed Presents “War & Peace” (limited series, drama): Snack-able one to two minute scenes of the Tolstoy literary masterpiece. (Current plans have the series finishing in 2065.)
  106. The Terrence Malick Hour (reality series, talk): Terrence Malick hosts this beautifully shot daily morning talk show. Mr. Malick interviews guests about current fashion, food trends and YouTube influencers’ life passions.
  107. Limberjack (reality, health): If you’re a lumberjack – or just someone who wants to get healthy – this show is for you. World champion logger Billy Jorgunson gets you up at 4:00am to GET LIMBER before you log roll or cut down those trees!
  108. Vlade Divac’s Tales Of Mystery And Woe (limited series, drama): Following the lead of Steph Curry, LeBron James and Kevin Durant, former Laker Vlade Divac (in an exclusive deal with MankaGoNow) presents this horror anthology series based on folk tales from his native Serbia.
  109. Remixed Martial Arts (live sports): Manka Sports presents a series of live boxing matches featuring MMA stars who have NOT been cleared to fight in the regular MMA because of concussion, injury or mental debilitation.
  110. Amtrak’s Look Out Any Of Window (reality, slow TV): Based on The Grateful Dead’s ‘Box of Rain,’ a glorious, calming view out of the bar car in Amtrak’s Southwestern Chief line. Twenty-six hours of beauty and bliss streamed every day (except Christmas & July 4th – F you Netflix!).
  111. Lagos Chic (multi-year series, drama): Rich kids from Nigeria bully non rich kids with their jewelry, their money and their fashion. Making the poor more miserable is their only goal in life.
  112. Monday Morning Football (live sports): MankaGoNow has the exclusive Monday morning rights to the Jacksonville Jaguars. Sure, no one cares and we don’t expect anyone to watch because it’s the goddamned Jaguars but…  #babysteps #livesports.
  113. Forgotten Years – 1985 (documentary, educational): It was the year of “Back To The Future” – and that’s about it. 12-part documentary series from Manka News dives deep into that year to see if anything else of substance happened.
  114. The Devil Went Down To New Mexico (movie, comedy): Shitty-ass sequel to “The Devil Went Down To Georgia.” (Of course it’s going to be terrible, but, to our credit, we still made it.)
  115. Moscowito (movie, fantasy): MC Comics’ half mosquito / half Russian superhero working for the US during the Cold War must decide between country loyalty and what is right.
  116. The Rising Tide Pods (documentary movie): What American teenage boys don’t realize is that eating Tide Pods gives you a giant dick and loads of confidence. Controversial because of its subject matter and danger to society, “The Rising Tide Pods” can only be seen on MankaGoNow!
  117. The Naked Nun (limited series, fantasy): Based on an episode of the Manka Bros. podcast ‘Lies & Legends,’ ‘The Naked Nun’ follows a group of conspiracy theorists who attempt to prove ‘The Naked Nun’ legend – that she walks naked around Columbus, Ohio, every August 22nd.
  118. The Fourth House From The End (movie, YA): Based on the Manka Books’ YA novel of the same name, an awkward teenage girl must learn to deal with the humiliation of growing up next to the more popular girl who lives in the Third House From The End (a much bigger house with a really great pool for parties).
  119. Warriors For The Working Day (reality series, education): Reality series focusing on jobs that no one wants to do (including almost everyone doing those jobs) and we follow them around with cameras and lights.
  120. Heatseeker (movie, action): Manka Bros. 1980s action star Drake Derek makes his action movie return as a spy who… never mind, it sucks (and he’s totally out of shape – big mistake).
  121. 90 Pounds In 90 Days (limited reality series, health): Jeremy vows to lose 90 pounds before his high school reunion – which is in 90 days!
  122. Kenya Feel It (reality series, music): African rock band from Nairobi makes its first tour of the U.S. and Manka Docs captures every beat.
  123. Pig Sister (movie, family): It’s gross that somehow Grace is your younger sister (because your father screwed a pig and that pig gave birth to her) but she’s the best thing that ever happened to you and the only reason you haven’t committed suicide.
  124. My Dog The Cat (movie, young adult): Opening paragraph: “When I was five years old our family got a cat – but I called it a dog. My parents said I must be a idiot because I didn’t know the difference between dogs and cats. But I did know, they’re the idiots – and ever since then, I’ve always called cats ‘dogs.’ But that doesn’t mean I know shit about algebra.”
  125. Dunkin’s Open Mic Night (reality series, comedy): Manka Bros. has partnered with Dunkin to live stream open mic comedy nights every Friday from all of the 8,000 Dunkin Donuts stores across America (some nights are better than others).
  126. Manchester Grit (limited series, drama): The baddest hombres in Manchester, New Hampshire, don’t spit tobacco in a bio-degradable cup and they don’t like Vermont maple syrup.
  127. You Cannot Learn Golf! Jesus Fucking Christ! (reality, sports): Host John Perry can show you how to swing a golf club – but you’ll never – EVER – be good at it. [Tagline: “Golf sucks!”]
  128. Roofies (multi-year series, comedy): Sitcom set in the world of a roofing contractor and takes place on various suburban roofs during a normal workday.
  129. Timon Of Chicago (multi-year series, drama): Shakespeare’s ‘Timon Of Athens’ is updated to modern day Chicago – where Timon ruthlessly rules the town.
  130. The Murder Of Margie Louise (movie, mature audiences): Adapted from the popular Manka Bros. true crime podcast, Crunching Leaves, the unsolved murder of former 1920s “It” girl on the Manka Bros. studio lot remains a fascinating cold case.
  131. Trout Of This World (reality, sports): Manka Sports follows some of the world’s top fishermen as they attempt to catch the mythological Uncle Ben – a trout said to weigh 120 pounds lurking somewhere in Crowley Lake, California.
  132. Golden Gate Bridget! (multi-year series, comedy): A throwback 1970s-era comedy featuring bubbly girl Bridget – who moves to San Francisco to start a new job – and is ready to take the town!
  133. Tartuffe’s Uxorian (live theater event): Fictional play written by fictional character, Tartuffe, written by Moliere, performed by real actors – presented by the new Ford F150.
  134. Cats vs. Millennials (multi-year series, comedy): Two old cats, rescued by Thad and Amber, comment on the lives of 20-somethings (in both thought balloons and very New York voices) in an upscale area of Brooklyn.
  135. Night Of The Long Fast (short): The thought of not eating food from bedtime until breakfast is absolutely terrifying for Greg Stillman. The night sweats, the vomiting – it all adds up to one long night.
  136. Josephine Loves The Ump (multi-year series, comedy): Classic rom-com from the producer of “My Wife Left Me For Bucky Dent,” tells the story of diner waitress Josephine and her love for minor league umpire, Jerry. She wishes all those baseball fans who call him and “a bum” and “blind” knew the real Ump.
  137. Brain Dad (movie, comedy): Brain switching comedy in which father and son discover they both watch a lot of pornography.
  138. The Plumbers (multi-year series, drama): Secret CIA division whose only job is stop leaks… from the CIA.
  139. God Should Just Box Me With His Long-Ass Arms (live theater): Sequel to “Your Arms Too Short To Box With God” – presented by Fabreeze.
  140. My Fabulous 40th Birthday Party With My Rich Fucking Friends! (movie, mature): It’s a perfectly magical night for Kaitlyn and her amazing friends until a long lost high school acquaintance shows up driving a JETTA!
  141. Jam Band (animated short, kids): Presented by Smuckers to urge kids to eat more jam, singing jars of fruit jam sing original songs… about jam.
  142. Jonah Hangs Eleven (movie, family): Surfer comedy set on Maui’s north shore. Jonah, 14, is living his perfect life. He lives, literally, on his surf board. He is home schooled by his parents who also live on their surfboards. Hurricane Pedro changes everything.
  143. The Goalie (documentary, sports): The soccer goalie is the loneliest position in all of sports – and even worse when you’re 9-years-old. Manka Sports dives deep into the psychological trauma associated with playing youth soccer goalie.
  144. Alexa vs. Siri (movie, sci-fi): Two hundred years into a dystopian future, the two main artificial intelligences that have enslaved humanity fight for total world dominance. This includes the moon. And maybe Mars.
  145. Worthless (multi-year series, drama): A 56-year-old man leaves L.A. for his old hometown and takes care of his 84-year-old father and wonders what happened to his 20-year-old self who wanted to be a famous actor/writer.
  146. Too Cool For School (reality series, investigative): Manka News secretly follows a group of high school friends who skip school every day and play Fortnight, smoke weed and search for the next big game to play. A new game every season!
  147. PC High (multi-year series, drama): An LGBTQ group of kids (one Hispanic, African-American, Polynesian, Korean, etc.) work to make sure that nothing taught in class by their “Nazi teachers” will trigger them.
  148. Old Dude Pony Tail (multi-year series, comedy): Roger Stone, corporate titan, leaves the financial world behind with an enormous golden parachute severance package. He immediately grows a old dude pony tail and hangs out at Starbucks with “the kids.”
  149. Club Rokk (or Vomit On The Bathroom Floor At Five A.M.) (documentary, music): One crazy night at Reykjavik’s famous music venue Club Rokk where the local punks snort some sort of black powder and vomit constantly.
  150. I Don’t Have Cancer, I Just Got In Shape (movie, mature): Marjorie’s friends refuse to believe that she actually lost weight because of diet and exercise because she’s never had discipline. They all believe she is very sick.
  151. Grave Diggers (reality series, competition): Manka Sports travels to countries where they still actually have grave diggers. Whoever digs the fastest grave wins a cash prize (or, in some cases, food).
  152. The Little Young Lady Who Lived In A Shoe (animated series, kids): Prequel to the ‘Little Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe’ which explains how got there and why she’s living in a shoe.
  153. Aladdin’s Christmas In Mecca (animated holiday special): It’s a magical night for Aladdin, his Monkey friend and all the rest of the gang!
  154. Clayton Kershaw’s Tales Of Torture (reality series, historical): The first series produced under the blanket producing deal MankaGoNow has with L.A. Dodger’s pitcher Clayton Kershaw. In this disturbing but eye opening series, Kershaw takes us through time, telling stories of the most horrific cases of torture in history.
  155. Darryl On The Block (multi-year series, comedy): The neighbor from across the street keeps trying to sell a young family cocaine – but they’re Mormons, who may (someday) succumb to Darryl’s charms and then invite him in to a drug-fueled three way! Explain THAT to your kid!
  156. After The Pancakes (multi-year series, drama): The only thing widower Pete Robinson has to look forward to is his morning pancakes at the local diner. Because “after the pancakes,” his day has peaked.
  157. Ali-Gator Goes To Six Flags (live-action special): Beloved Muslim kids puppet, Ali-Gator, and his friends, take a trip to Six Flags where they love to ride the roller coasters and eat churros.
  158. Waylon Flowers & Madam – The Killing Floor (movie, biography): A historically accurate re-telling of the horrific true life tale of this 1970s variety show train wreck of a partnership.
  159. Hamlet’s Brother (movie, historical): True story of Hamlet’s brother, Roy, who lived far away from Denmark in an area we now know as Long Island, New York.
  160. Raw Ray Loves The World (reality series, music): Manka Music Group’s Korean KPOP music sensation Raw Ray loves everything about the world and wants to show us.
  161. Fox Hole (multi-year series, comedy): Period World War 1 sitcom set in a fox hole during the Battle of Verdun.
  162. Commute (multi-year series, comedy): A sitcom set in a car where a carpool sits in the same goddamned traffic, every goddamned day.
  163. The Darkness (movie, horror): Between sunset and sunrise is… THE DARKNESS!
  164. Black Kramer vs. Black Kramer (movie, drama): African-American remake of “Kramer vs. Kramer.”
  165. Murder House (movie, horror): Everyone who has owned it has been murdered. Who the Hell would buy this house!? Oh, yeah, the Smithsons.
  166. Tensions In Des Moines (movie, thriller): This was no normal Tuesday. In fact, it was Wednesday and the town was on edge. Goddamned, why did it have to be so hot and why is the Governor coming to town?
  167. Flamenco Detective (multi-year series, crime drama): In Jerez de la Frontera, Spain, Flamenco dancers, guitar players and palmas performers are being murdered on a daily basis. Spain’s top cop, Jose Carrasco, goes undercover to find the killer and finds his own life-changing duende along the way.
  168. The Amputeer (limited series, drama): If you need a leg amputated in 1870s Phoenix, there’s only one doctor to go to… The Amputeer.
  169. Cranburied (movie, drama): The death/murder of cranberry mogul Lord Ocean Spray, Sr. has never been solved. Many say the ruthless berry baron had it coming. Other say, he simple fell in the bog and drowned. All of the true answers are in this movie.
  170. BYOBrunch (movie, family): None of older women in the little town of Love, Georgia, likes to cook – but they sure do love brunch, and gossiping about their neighbors. But someone’s about to show up with a poison sweet potato pie.
  171. The Grind Canyon (limited series, comedy): The hottest area strip club for frustrated “dad tourists” who spent most of the day staring at the Grand Canyon – and only thinking of the Grind Canyon.
  172. Belly Up To The Bar Exam! (reality, educational): Studying for the bar exam doesn’t have to be boring. It can be so much fun – especially if Carmen Electra is your “bar” tender.
  173. Photos With Al Franken (documentary): Manka Docs does a deep dive, behind the scenes look into some of the more notorious Al Franken photos – from early SNL drug photos, to photos with Presidents, to groping photos with sleeping female soldiers – we cover it all.
  174. The Panhandle (limited series, drama): Goddamn, what the Hell are a bunch of pissed off 15-year-olds supposed to do in this hellish north Texas landscape of cows and crap. Outside of the 72-ounce steak place (where if you can finish its free!), there ain’t a freaking thing to do.
  175. She Wore A Crown (movie, drama): “But that don’t make her the real queen!” Family comedy about a dad who doesn’t understand why his five year old daughter would want to play dress-up as a queen when there’s no way she will ever be queen. It’s mostly a story of a painful divorce.
  176. Evil Toasters (movie, horror): They said the internet-of-things (or smart appliances) would make our lives better. Tell that to Lester family who won’t find peace until they die. And even then…
  177. I No Longer Care About Sports (reality series, home improvement): Host John Perry does anything and everything around the house during the weekend to distract him from sports on TV. It’s not easy – since his beloved Kansas City Chiefs & Kansas City Royals, Los Angeles Kings & Los Angeles Dodgers all seem to choke – every fucking year! Yard work will cure the anger!
  178. Nuclear Sperm (working title) (movie, sci-fi): The last of Earth’s human scientists work together to create a superhuman who can defeat Alexa and/or Siri in a last ditch effort to save our existence.
  179. Jugglers For Peace (movie, documentary): Several California jugglers travel to the Congo to “juggle for peace” in an effort to stop the bloody civil war. All are killed.
  180. Fuck Paris (movie, mature audiences): Anti-romcom about how shitty a town Paris is, especially for lovers. Make that former lovers (Jen and Jay) who are breaking up over a long, painful week.
  181. Rockem Sockem Robots Hit People In The Groin (reality series, comedy): Rockem Sockem robots have been programmed to approach humans in a shopping mall and, when they’re not looking, punch them in the groin.
  182. Cork Asians (multi-year series, dramedy): The racist winemakers of Napa really don’t want the Morimotos from Kyoto to open a winery. When they do, and succeed, the racist Northern Californians hate them even more and do everything they can to destroy them.
  183. Professor Hinkle (animated special, mature content): After melting Frosty The Snowman in a horrific act of pure torture, Professor Hinkle returns to his life as crappy elementary school teacher – until one day, the local snowmen rise up and MELT Professor Hinkle. (Not suitable for children.)
  184. This Time, You Really Are There (reality series, sci-fi, VR): Reenactment with a twist. Exciting multi-generational series clones some of history’s most notorious and vaunted figures to reenact great historical moments.
  185. James, Autistic Lawyer (multi-year series, drama): Zachary, through his autistic superpowers, has memorized every law in the United States (and some in Canada) – will he EVER lose a case?
  186. Shecky And Rose (movie, comedy): Disgraced comedienne, Roseanne Barr, hightails it to Las Vegas to seek wisdom and comfort from the biggest comedian of his day, Shecky Greene.
  187. Second Communion (movie, comedy): Sequel to Manka Bros.’ wildly successful 2013 comedy “First Communion.”
  188. Happy Returns (movie, drama): Disgraced pedophile circus clown, Happy, attempts a comeback after prison and rehabilitation. Suicide might have been a better option.
  189. SparTEN (movie, fantasy): After every Spartan is killed except for TEN, the Ten vow to kill every Persian before the SparTEN die. But first, they need to procreate with as many Spartan women as possible to keep the race going.
  190. Sauce Box (limited series, comedy): The inventor of the “Sauce Box,” a cardboard box that’s supposed to hold really hot sauces and food without feeling hot to the touch, is sued by every customer that bought it because of horrible burn injuries they received. His road to redemption comes in the form of inventing advanced burn therapy treatments.
  191. Spacey Jam (short, comedy): Kevin Spacey stars in a loose remake of “Space Jam” with Pepe Le Pew – the only Looney Tunes character willing to work with Spacey (because, as we’ve seen, Pepe is a well known sexual abuser in his own right).
  192. This Week In Right Field (reality series, sports, kids): It gets pretty slow in right field if you’re 6-years-old in Little League. Manka Sports interviews the kid in right field during the game (because no ball will ever make it out there).
  193. Unexpected Discoveries (reality series, educational): Like a $5 bill in your jeans from the dryer, unexpected discoveries give us pure joy. Like the people who found the Dead Sea Scrolls. They must have been happy, right? We tell you the history behind all those happy moments.
  194. Dragoneers (multi-year series, comedy): With a super cool secret eighth grade club name like “Dragoneers,” you would think they would never get bullied. You would be wrong.
  195. Knock Down My House – Build A New One (reality series, home improvement): The Barnes brothers travel the country looking to level people’s shitty houses and build them new awesome houses. It’s amazing and the homeowners are ecstatic… until the Barnes brothers shows the homeowners the bill.
  196. Witch Is The Warlock? (reality series, game show): Wicca-inspired game show in which real witches are mixed with pretend “actor” witches. The expert real witches on the panel need to guess “Witch Is The Warlock?”
  197. Killennial (movie, horror): Some sadistic fuck is killing all the millennials (one at a time). It’s up to a Gen X, nearing retirement, detective to decide if he wants to try to find the killer.
  198. Teen Between (movie, teen comedy): Scientists say the night time hours between the age of 19 and 20 are drunkest hours a kid will ever have. This movie is about that drunken, crazy, fucking night and how this kid, Rich, ever survived to see the sunrise.
  199. Latrine Doody (multi-year series, comedy): Stupid ass, moronic sitcom about a scrappy group of misfits who work their way through World War II – never seeing combat and constantly assigned to the latrines – and being stuck deep in the – you know. M*A*S*H with poop.
  200. Born On Third Base (multi-year series, drama): Privileged white kids in the Hamptons are still not happy because what they’ve been given is still not enough – but their social media presence is huge!
  201. Hell On Rye! (short, documentary): Based on the crusty owner of New York’s famous Carnegie Deli and his seedy (and possibly not Jewish – just saying) beginnings.
  202. Putt A Sock In It (reality series, competition, kids): Created by 5-year-old Molly Stager, kindergarten kids roll up their socks in a ball and attempt to putt them into a giant hole in the middle of their fun mat. The winning kid wins $10,000.
  203. Run The Gamut (reality series, game show): This is not a request, it is an order – an order to run the most challenging running course on the planet. Contestants will run through fire, blizzards, oceans and tornadoes. The winner receives bragging rights and a customized “I Ran The Gamut” T-shirt.
  204. Troilus & Juliet (movie, drama): Sequel to “Romeo & Cressida” – a continuation of the great Shakespeare universe mash-up experiment.
  205. Romeo & Cressida (movie, drama): Shakespeare universe mash-up in which many worlds exist in the same space. In this one, Romeo dumps Juliet for Cressida, breaking Troilus’ heart and creating real tension in the universe.
  206. The Rifleman (multi-year series, drama): Re-imagined, rebooted classic series from the 1960s, Lucas McCain openly carries his AR-15 around town and scares the shit out of everyone – killing anyone he wants because… he’s the Rifleman.
  207. Oh! That Titanic! (limited series, comedy): Alternative universe comedy in which the Titanic didn’t sink and everyone has such a great time! It’s the greatest boat in the world! Children love it the most, the “Rearranging The Deck Chairs” game is their favorite.
  208. Hellicops (animated series, kids): Animated talking helicopters from Hell are the only option to save certain animals and kids from death when the “Paw Patrol” has failed.
  209. MetroGnomes (multi-year series, kids): The first thing you think about when you think about Gnomes is NOT that they have perfect rhythm. But they do and they will teach your toddler music theory!
  210. Grand Theft Lotto (movie, drama, heist): Inspired by “Ocean’s 8,” movie about a group of high-powered pilate moms who plot to steal the $200 million won in the lottery by a school teacher from Des Moines.
  211. Streamer’s Digest (reality, daily): MankaGoNow daily talk show about how things are going on MankaGoNow and what shows are trending (what’s good – what sucks).
  212. Roam In A Day (reality series, travel): How far can you walk, drive, fly in a day? This series takes you all around the world, to the places you could visit – if you had unlimited funds – in a day.
  213. Diving For Dollars (reality series, sports): Soccer players from around the world flop and flail about on the pitch, like little bitches, trying to draw a foul. Manka Sports exposes them and attempts to ruin their lives for the frauds they are.
  214. The End (limited series, drama): A group of doomsday cultists have wacky adventures in the jungle with their charismatic leader, Zagmut, until [SPOILER ALERT] the last episode when they are “drink the Kool-Aid.” (Series generously supported by “Kool-Aid” – OH YEAH!)
  215. Show Gun (limited series, drama): Organized crime boss, Hideko Morimoto, terrorizes the region to become the ruler of the land of the rising sun. But what he always wanted to do was dance – and dance he did – in “42nd Street” in Kyoto. And he was good. Strange story.
  216. Odditeens (multi-year series, kids): Teenagers are odd, yes, but these teenagers are really odd… really… really odd.
  217. SOLD! (reality series, home improvement): Garage sale auctions in your city. We’ve hired an actual auctioneer to come to your garage or yard sale to really get the highest price out of your shitty old DVD player.
  218. Zhe Said What? (limited series, drama): Ouigars settle into their new homes to live, learn and love. Or else. [The first American produced Ouigar series in actual Ouigar language.]
  219. Why?!? (reality series): If you’re suicidal, this is the series for you. Cameras catch people when they’ve reached the end of their rope and fall to their knees yelling “Why?!?” There are no happy endings.
  220. Below The Beltway (multi-year series, drama): Power is a bitch and her name is Penelope Landers. She’s the top lobbyist in Washington DC for the world’s biggest companies. Screw her over and you can screw your life. Seriously, if you watch this show and don’t like her – she will mess you up!
  221. The Van Halen Chronicles (mini-series, music): Exhaustive 30-part mini-series based on the “Guitarist Chronicles” by Eddie Van Halen explores the inner-thoughts, the torment, the food, the drink, the OCD and the tragedy of one of rock’s greatest guitarists.
  222. Off The Grid (reality series, nature): Ben and Kyle Hunt have been off the grid for two years now – living in a forest. They don’t even know they’re internet sensations because they’re… off the grid. All proceeds from their lives and show goes to… Manka Bros.
  223. New Bible – Fixing The New Testament (reality series, faith): There’s a new Jesus with a new Bible with new Apostles and they’ve written a new Bible. This series tells you everything that changed from the old Bible and what we can expect when the world ends.
  224. Drunk Tales From Irish Pubs (reality series, food): Stories told by the drunks from Irish pubs around Ireland – reenacted by actors so the audience can understand what the Hell they’re saying.
  225. Torture Stadium (movie, horror): Why did we buy tickets to a game at a stadium named “Torture Stadium.” There, obviously, wasn’t a game, there wasn’t an exit and most will not survive.
  226. Spineless Pussy (documentary short): Manka News follows around a cowardly boss who fires long-time employees over the phone… because he’s a spineless pussy.
  227. WTF?? (multi-year series, comedy): A 70-year-old man lands a job in an IT department at a major tech company because the company had a “diversity policy.” As he tries to understand 20-year-olds and how to turn on a “computer,” he learns that he’s actually wiser than his colleagues because of his life experience (though he still doesn’t know shit about IT or how to fix computers – which is a problem).
  228. Bagdaddy (movie, drama): Organized crime boss in Iraq terrorizes the region to become the ruler of the desert region. When J-Lo turns down his request to sing at his birthday party, he reevaluates his life choices.
  229. Scare-ousel (movie, horror): In a remote area in a forest outside of Budapest, Hungary, there is a carousel that only operates one day a year. Only a few tickets are sold though demand is huge. The lucky ones DON’T get a ticket.
  230. Corporate Offsite (movie, mature audiences): Old white men do horrible PowerPoint presentations and get completely trashed for three straight nights. No plot – that’s it – but the presentations are about the future of advertising on local cable channels and billboards.
  231. Taz-U-Oh (animated, movie): Taz the cat has an alter-ego, Taz-U-Oh… ninja warrior! His sensei constantly lives in his head giving him ghostly advice as he fights evil.
  232. The Fantastic Mr. Griff (movie, drama): Mr. Griff lives in a complete fantasy world. He thinks he’s a great teacher… he’s not. He thinks everyone loves him… they don’t. He thinks he’s the world’s great lover… every woman said “you mean ‘worst'”? So why is he called “The Fantastic Mr. Griff”? Watch the movie.
  233. For The Love Of Antifa! (short, documentary): Gripping documentary of Giovanni Gentile’s influence on today’s activities.
  234. Nutrition For Dummies (reality series, food): Dummies don’t know shit about nutrition and neither will you after watching this worthless show.
  235. Dad Kicked Me In The Nads (multi-year series, comedy): That’s the first line in this coming of age family comedy… and in the series finale (after 10 years or so)… it will be the last.
  236. In The Pew (reality, faith): Every week, in the pew, Manka Faith brings you the latest the world of religion. We’ll have interviews with Catholics, Lutherans, Presbyterians… and all the rest.
  237. Goldfish Bowl (reality, slow-tv): Manka Slow-TV brings you a 12-hour live stream of a goldfish… swimming in a bowl.
  238. Ride Me Like A Horse (movie, drama): Movie based on the hit country song “Ride Me Like A Horse” by country superstar Mac McCord.
  239. To The Moon, Bud! (movie, documentary): In pursuit of riches lost, washed up pensioner, ex-casino owner [MB Lawyer – Sorry, name cannot be mentioned because of potential lawsuit] schemes to grab onto the next big thing – and always mucks it up!
  240. Patchouli Madness (multi-year series, comedy): Set in a more gentle time in the world, 1992, trust fund kids go to school in Missoula, wear dreadlocks, play hacky sack, and basically bother everybody.
  241. Abori-Jeanine (movie, drama): An Aborigine baby is stolen by a young couple from Sacramento during their honeymoon in Australia. They name the baby Jeanine and everything is great until the Aboriginal family tracks down the family and Jeanine realizes the U.S. is shit for Aborigine people. Jeanine is reunited with her real parents and they murder the U.S. kidnappers. No charges are filed! Happy ending!
  242. We’re Here, We’re Queer! (limited series, drama): Young gay punks kick everyone’s ass – even if there wasn’t a gay slur spoken. They just like to beat up people – because they’re punks.
  243. Jack Welch’s Winning (movie, documentary): Documentary about how Jack Welch’s book “Winning” is bullshit – especially considering the company he left is basically worthless.
  244. Tech Support Morons (multi-year series, comedy): Ru-ru, Lil’ Wayne, and Obese Johnny terrorize their law firm by being complete jerks and doing everything in their power to never do their IT jobs. Assholes.
  245. Turdpedo (animated short): A group of whales roam the Pacific launching giant turd projectiles to destroy whalers and save Green Peace – with fart noises (for the toddlers) and life lessons (for the teenagers).
  246. Kai-Jew (event series, sci-fi): Genetically engineered Ashkenazi Jewish giants rise up from the seas to destroy humanity – only Transformer-type machines (piloted by humans) can stop them.
  247. Beans On Toasts (multi-year series, comedy): Delightful series about British retirees moving to Spain for the weather but changing local customs (and the lives of the locals) to suit their routines.
  248. Virtue Signals: “We’re Better Because We Care” (reality series): Hollywood’s kids hilariously guide us on how to fit in amid the complexities of cognitive dissonance of virtue signaling.
  249. Hahs-Beens (reality series, drama): The sad, pathetic, painful decline of once great comics who can’t seem to grasp or figure out what makes comedy club audiences laugh today.
  250. The Oblivious (movie, thriller): Indian coders working in a basement in Bangalore are completely clueless when anything dramatic happens in their lives. When a terrorist attempts to steal mainframe computers from the basement, they just let them take it. Why take a chance? There’s always another mainframe computer, there’s not always another Indian coder.
  251. Tallahassee (multi-year series, drama): Most people think Tallahassee is just some bullshit town in a bullshit state – but actually it’s a hotbed for really TALL people (thus the name). Basketball scouts from around the world converge every fall to pluck the top players.
  252. Grass Growing (reality, slow-tv): Manka Slow-TV presents actual grass growing. Over eight weeks of a constant video stream watch grass growing from a half inch tall to two inches while electronic Icelandic music heals your soul.
  253. Shaw In A Cul-De-Sac (live theater): Once every three months, the Manka Bros. Pop-Up Theater Troupe appears on a random cul-de-sac in a random town and performs an entire George Bernard Shaw play. The performance is filmed and streamed on the MankaGoNow platform.
  254. A Country Lawyer In New York (multi-year series, comedy): He ain’t “no fancy big city lawyer from some fancy Ivy League school”… which means he, basically, loses every case he tries in New York.
  255. The Toastmaster Stumbles (reality series, comedy): Some of the greatest horrible toasts from weddings, graduations, family dinners, etc. There’s heart attacks, vomiting, expletives, grandma farts – all the classic hilarious moments caught on tape – and in one show.
  256. Undead Reborn (movie, horror): Oh good God, it’s happening again. Zombies are giving birth to real live babies… and then eating their brains.
  257. The Songs Of Helen (movie, drama): The Songs of Helen always made him cry. Until one day, years later, The Songs of Helen made him want to throw her freakin’ ass out of their apartment..
  258. Puppetears (documentary): In the late 1960s, there was a puppet troupe from Paris that performed plays of unbearable sadness. Puppets died. Animals died. Parents died. The great emotion was said to scar children’s minds for years and make fathers want to kill the Puppetears.
  259. A Dane In The Life (multi-year series, comedy): Carl Gunderson, a perfectly chiseled, tall, muscled Danish man moves into a Brooklyn apartment creating all sorts of chaos from the single people in the building – gay, straight, black, white – everybody wants this man. They don’t care that he’s stupid as shit.
  260. Bobby Brummel (limited series, drama): The story behind the Detroit mob boss who transformed Las Vegas and invented the World Series of Keno.
  261. Method (reality series): Boy wonder Jay Nelson’s series digs deep into the disturbingly realistic world of Hollywood as we follow a Method actor who will do anything to get a role. Anything.
  262. Hallucinogenic Pugs (animated series, kids): A spin-off from the Manka Kids hit series Psychedelic Dogs, Hallucinogenic Pugs is perfect for 6-10 year olds who really want to go deep… really want to see what the universe is all about.
  263. The Lost Weekday (movie, drama): Sequel to Universal’s 1945 best picture “The Lost Weekend,”The Lost Weekday shows that dudes alcoholism is really really bad.
  264. The Boy She Loved (short): There was only one boy she ever loved and would die lonely without him. But he decided to stay from relationships, choosing to masturbate to porn instead.
  265. Treevil (movie, horror): The people of Bend, Oregon, have wanted to cut this evil tree down for years (but it’s protecting under Oregon environmental laws) – children have gone missing near the tree, animals who pee on it are never seen again – but this Halloween, no one will survive.
  266. The Purr-ly Gates (movie, animated): All dogs go to Heaven, sure, but cats have a very strict policy of getting in, and it’s controlled by Sparkles – the most indifferent cat in all of Christendom.
  267. Prom Night Of The Stars (reality series): Want to see Julia Roberts’ parents video tape of her senior high school prom – including a dress mishap that if anyone saw back then she would have killed herself? We’ve got it. Big stars parents share embarrassing videos of their famous kids.
  268. In Spades (reality, holiday special): F David Spade and his freaking idea (for which MankaGoNow paid a shit load of money) to do a Thanksgiving “Spade Family Holiday.” Manka Bros. sent a camera crew to the Spade family house in Arizona and got nothing but prick ass behavior from David Spade. He wouldn’t even offer the crew a glass of water from his toilet. Seriously, F that guy. (And it will probably be very popular because of this rant.)
  269. Cul-De-Sacagawea (movie, drama): The sad, sad story of the great, great, great, granddaughter of the great explorer icon Sacagawea who now lives a suburban life, as a homemaker, on a cul-de-sac. Her only adventure now is when she goes to Ralphs.
  270. Devoutrageous! (multi-year series, faith): You gotta feel it, people! Get up! Get up! The world’s biggest mega-church has pull-up bars above every pew and a tight ass funk band to fire up the crowd. My God, if Jesus don’t exist at least we’ll all be in shape!
  271. The Knight Shift (limited series, fantasy): There are Knights that fight (and die) in battle to protect the King. And there are Knights lay their lives on the line to guard the Queen; and there are Knights that sit out by the moat during the night, making sure nobody tries to cross it. This series is about those Knights.
  272. Randy Morgan Walks Around The Earth (reality series, adventure): Randy Morgan tried to walk around the earth in a 1990s series (but sprained his ankle outside of Victorville, California, after only 12 hours). This year, feeling stronger, he tries it again.
  273. Power Moms In The Mist (multi-year series, comedy): A new family moves to Westport, Connecticut, from Montgomery, Alabama, and the mother of the family of three soon realizes that the moms of Westport are something she has never seen.
  274. He/She Touched Me (reality, news, investigative): New college campus sexual assault accusation are investigated each week by Manka News.
  275. Brunch Line (multi-year series, comedy): Every year, it seems the brunch line at St. Louis’ Heritage House Buffet gets longer and longer. Thank the good Lord the multi-ethnic regulars have a lot to talk/complain about.
  276. Sagebrush Heights (multi-year series, drama): The richest families in Albuquerque, New Mexico, live in Sagebrush Heights – and they really hate those that don’t live in Sagebrush Heights.
  277. Love And Knishes (reality series, food): Hosted by Barry and Ruth Greenwald from their house in Queens. Both are 70-years-old, 4′ 10″ and it’s simply the cutest f-ing cooking show you’ve ever seen.
  278. Queen Of The Nile (reality series, historical): Modern day anthology following disparate stories of people who believe they are the the reincarnation of Cleopatra. Of course they’re nuts – but sometimes it’s fun to watch crazy people.
  279. Genitales (documentary): Grandma had a LOT of men in her time… and each had a story.
  280. Man And W1F3 (movie, sci-fi): This programmer’s wife may have left him, but his advanced A.I. simulation of her will be around till death do them part.
  281. Little Liar (reality, game show): Parents (and the studio audience and viewers at home) against adorable little kids to find out if they are telling the truth or are they Little Liars.
  282. Desirony (movie, drama): When she was interested in him, he failed to reciprocate. Oh how the tables have turned.
  283. Rover and Out (movie, holiday): When his elderly owner takes a nasty fall down a flight of basement stairs, a French Bulldog named Claude desperately looks for a way to get help. His only option, his master’s ham radio. A story of love, persistence, and mortality.
  284. P (re) SP (movie, family): In a rough town, a slightly gifted cop fights crime harnessing the power of his fifth and 1/2 sense.
  285. Book Paste With Cyrus Weinstein (reality series, educational): Weekly book club discussion with a famous author (whose book is being discussed) and President of the Manka Bros. Publishing Group Cyrus Weinstein.
  286. Rapture Checkers (multi-year series, faith): Ten percent of those taken in the rapture was a mistake. This squad of rapture checkers investigate if the right ones were taken and drag back the Earth the ones that shouldn’t have gone.
  287. Kill The Messengers (multi-year series, drama): Every week in New York someone kills a messenger – Amazon delivery, bike food delivery, etc. It’s gotten so bad, the NYPD has set up a special division to stop the killing of the messengers.
  288. Yangtze Doodle Dandy (documentary): After the Warner Bros. movie “Yankee Doodle Dandy” came out in 1942, China, in an attempt to match America’s patriotism created by the movie, produced a film which featured peasants harvesting crops and smoking a lot of cigarettes.
  289. Brain-Eating Amoeba (movie, horror): I mean, there’s really nothing more to say. It’s in the brains of every human. It just depends on when it decides to eat your brain and, if it does, what you’ve done to provoke it.
  290. Terry Bradshaw – Alone (live theater event): One man show featuring NFL legend Terry Bradshaw. [Tagline: “My goddamned… what was I talking about… oh, yeah… Wait… what? Oh, yeah, my life story!”]
  291. Scott Golden’s Commercial Life (reality series): Manka Docs cameras follow L.A. actor Scott Golden as he books every acting job he auditions for!
  292. SpouseWives (reality series, drama): Everyday is a throw down, knock out brawl between Mormon sister wives who are married to the same man.
  293. Trainsformation (animation, special, kids): Insecure train, Celia, decides to get a makeover. It turns out to be a huge mistake and she is made fun of by other trains because “trains should learn to love themselves just as they are.”
  294. Jacob’s Bris (documentary): Jacob’s parents, Marvin and Deborah, didn’t even want pictures taken much less a whole fucking documentary about their son’s bris.
  295. Rob My House (reality, competition, special): Once a year, a few of the top armed robbers in the country are released from prison to compete against each other on who can rob the most houses in 24 hours. The winning robber gets his/her freedom and the stolen goods are given to charity.
  296. Miss Beehive’in (movie, animated): It’s that time of year again, the time when we crown Miss Beehive – the most well-rounded and confident bee in the hive.
  297. Kinball (reality series, games): Members of contestant’s family are placed in a large arena, pinball style, as a large metal ball is shot out of a tube and must be kept alive and score points (by hitting others in the family) before scratching down the middle.
  298. Cats In Boxes (reality series, comedy): Each week, we show video of around fifty different cats jumping into boxes. If you’ve had a bad week, the show makes it all better.
  299. Totsky (movie, biography): Biopic about Russian revolutionary and Marxist theorist Leon Trotsky as a toddler. In this days, he didn’t want to share his toys.
  300. Hin-dude (multi-year series, comedy): Sixteen-year-old Aditya moves with his parents from Bangalore to Malibu and immediately fits in with the surf punks… and the coders.
  301. The Impotence Of Reason (limited series, drama): Gripping series adapted from Orianna Fallaci’s final work. One world governance drives this fascinating view of a global citizenry..
  302. James K. Polk’s African Adventure (reality, educational): Little is known about the disastrous foreign policy trip the 11th President of the United States took to Africa. What is known is in this documentary special.
  303. Slippery Slope (multi-year series, comedy): Life in Mammoth, California, as lived by the seasonal employees.
  304. Arroyo-lty (multi-year series, comedy): Before European whites invaded California and settled in current day Pasadena, there was a very proud people, who lived very rich lives. This is a sitcom about them.
  305. Beatnook (documentary, music): Deep-dive, historical documentary about the hottest jazz club in Bangor, Maine – the legendary Beatnook.
  306. Terror Shift (multi-year series, drama): In the basement of a undisclosed building in Washington (or is somewhere else?), an elite group of analysts are focused on one thing, the ever shifting War on Terror – and where do we fight next. This group is called Terror Shift (or is it?).
  307. A Fine Kettle Of Fish (reality series, food): Quirky Scottish host Fiona McBride isn’t the best cook around, but that’s part of her charm. When she screws up, she says, “That’s a fine kettle of fish!”
  308. The Future (reality series, science): Each week, we get to hear about all the things that were promised by science but will never be delivered (flying cars, 10-hour work week, cure for cancer, etc.).
  309. Larry Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzlarry (multi-year series, comedy): Two gay Irishmen, Larry and Patrick, are fish IN water when they move to West Hollywood.
  310. Alexa, Cook Lasagna (reality series, food): In a continued effort to replace humans with machines, MankaGoNow is experimenting with an all A.I. cooking hosted Amazon’s Alexa [still under negotiation].
  311. Tailgate (multi-year series, comedy): The best damn BBQ in the south is always at Grambling State home football games – and the characters that gather there are hilarious.
  312. Dixon Butts (multi-year series, drama): Prosecuting attorney Dixon Butts puts criminals away while dealing with his crazy co-workers who can’t stop making fun of his name. But he gets the job done. [Tagline: You’re going to prison, pal, and now you’ll really experience Dix-in Butts!]
  313. Cockeyed (movie, drama): Poor Billy McKay was born without eyelids and the rumor was that as a baby, eyelids were grafted on using donated foreskin – which resulted in the nickname “Cockeye.” Kids can be cruel.
  314. Passion Of The Chris (multi-year series, comedy): The adventures of a missionary, Chris, as he travels the world and encounters colorful heathens while going door to door.
  315. Leisure Lee (series of shorts): Leisure Lee is Lee Muldoon, the chillest man in the world. He sits on the porch with a cold one and looks out as neighbor spouting Zen philosophy with a Matthew McConaughey vibe.
  316. Sierra Leon (movie, drama): 12-year-old Leon Koroma flees his home from the civil war in Sierra Leone and moves to a remote ski town in the Sierra Nevada mountains..Needless to say, this is not a world he understands.
  317. Gregorian (multi-year series, comedy): Set at a monastery in 10th century where the Gregorian Monks were writing the Gregorian Chants.
  318. The Mountain’s Out Today (multi-year series, drama): Growing up in Seattle means growing up in rain. To Frankie, awkward and about to start the painful years of middle school, the weather adds more suckage to that suck ass time. But… when the “mountain’s out,” it means it’s not raining and it could be a good day.
  319. Sod Awful (reality series, home improvement): Ever wish you could make fun of people’s lawns and get paid for it?! Sod Awful is the show for you. Grass experts travel around the country to make fun of people’s lawns – and do nothing to help them.
  320. Oscar Host (reality series, competition): Potential Oscar hosts are put through the ringer to see who will host the next show. Past social media posts, interviews and racist stand-up acts will be dredged up to determine if any one in the world is actually qualified to host.
  321. Ska The Roof Dog (animated shorts): Remakes of the class “Ska” series of animated shorts from the 1930s (and artfully recreated in glorious black & white), Ska, the beloved black & white Australian Shepherd hops from roof-to-roof enchanting children and helping those in need.
  322. True Stories Of Interstate 405 (reality series): Everybody who lives in Los Angeles has a traffic story – these are the best (or worst) of them.
  323. Optic Aura (documentary, music): Behind-the-scenes of the Manka Music super group from Iceland during their legendary 1998 World Tour.
  324. Been There, Done That (reality series, travel): Cynical world traveler, Rachel Steinman, is not impressed with anything around the world. This series sends her to Paris, Rome, Madrid and try to find SOMETHING she thinks is interesting and that she hasn’t done.
  325. Bossfights (reality, sports): “My boss can beat up your boss!” That classic office is finally coming to fruition. Weekly MMA fights between some of Fortune 500’s top CEOs is appointment viewing at the highest  level. Week 1 will be Larry Ellison vs. Mark Zuckerberg. LET’S GET READY TO… [MB Lawyer: Sorry, deleted – copyrighted phrase.]
  326. Golfin’ Round (reality series, sports, travel): Most people have to play hooky from work or be retired to get in a round of golf. The host of this show, Randy Dick, gets travel to the world’s finest golf courses and play a round (with a few cocktails thrown in) – and THAT’S HIS JOB!
  327. Food Truck Derby! (reality series, food, sports): Food truck owners are notorious bad asses (both women and men) who live on the edge. Just a boring old show about a food truck serving Korean tacos wasn’t enough – but throw in Food Truck serving Korean tacos that’s also a Demolition Derby – solid gold, baby!
  328. Ruth Or Dare (movie, teen comedy): A story of female empowerment in an age of… just kidding, it’s a teenage sex comedy – exactly what it sounds like.
  329. Mr. Fisticuffs (movie, holiday): The toughest goddamned teacher on Chicago’s south side, and he’s not afraid to punch a kid in the face until he’s nearly dead – but, shit, if he’s not the best teacher they’ve ever had. [Tagline: “God bless you, Mr. Fisticuffs!”]
  330. God? (reality series, faith): Manka Faith interviews victims of accidents, robberies, and horrible health issues who share their views on the existence of God. [Bottom line – they ain’t a fan.]
  331. The Sponge Was Porous (movie, sci-fi): “The sponge was porous”… what did that mean? But it took me down a rabbit hole of time and space – and, holy mother of fuck – the Earth is gone – everything… is gone!
  332. What A Rack! (multi-year series, comedy): Heather, a former beauty queen in Wyoming must handle being the only single woman in town and having the best GUN RACK in her truck. [Tagline: “You filthy people thought the title meant something else.”]
  333. FU! (multi-year series, comedy): Franklin Unger tries to teach a diversified group of inner-city junior high students who are only fixated on his initials – which he signs on all the homework papers he grades.
  334. I Beg Your Pardon (reality, politics, fantasy): Manka News follows President Trump’s cabinet and family members as all are indicted on Federal charges and sent to prison.
  335. Puttin’ On The Gritz (reality series, food): Everyone laughed when the owners of a new diner in Macon, Georgia, said it should be called “Puttin’ On The Gritz” (their spelling) – but then came the social media backlash which nearly drove the owners to suicide. But, as it turns out, they have the best gritz south of the Mason-Dixon Line – and they have the last laugh (and a TV show!).
  336. The Gray Penumbra (movie, sci-fi): They said the penumbra was never supposed to be gray. They also said the sun would never burn out and the earth would survive the year 2021. How could everyone be wrong?!
  337. Improv Your Life! (reality series, comedy): Manka Improv Workshop Brigade (MIWB) brings ordinary people into the world of improv and helps to improve their performance at their jobs at the insurance company – or whatever other place they waste their lives.
  338. Rocket Stuff Is Hard (movie, comedy): Miraculously, Chad got a perfect score on his SATs even though he never did good in school – but because of his SAT score, he got accepted to Cal Tech – and that’s when he realized “rocket stuff is hard.”
  339. The Routeens (multi-year series, drama): These impressive teens in Atlanta, Georgia, do nothing wrong. They stick to a full schedule of sports, academics and extra-curricular activity. They never get into trouble. They get into great universities and end up having great lives? Do these kids exist? In this show they do.
  340. He Started Loving Her Today (movie, drama): Prequel to George Jones’ hit country song “He Stopped Loving Her Today” – featuring all the happy times, not the sad.
  341. From Underneath (movie, horror): There is a horror that comes from above. There is a horror that comes from the right. There is a horror that comes from… the left? But there has never been a horror that comes From Underneath. Holy mother of God! It’s actually happening.
  342. Nunja (movie, thriller): Notorious French gang, Le Meurtre, picked the wrong day to rob the Mont Saint-Michel monastery. Black belt badass nun Sister Maria Theresa was only visiting for quiet Heavenly prayer and reflection – but ends up sending many new souls to Hell!
  343. Dartistry (reality series, sports): Manka Sports brings you the #1 weekly highlight show in the growing sport of Champion Pub Darts.
  344. Vandal With Care (documentary): Manka News follows a group of black hooded “positive” graffiti artists who destroy property, true, but with messages of hope for the world.
  345. Rover And Out (animated series, kids): General Trainer has to quickly whip up a scrappy group of young pup cadets as they prepare for battle in Cat-alonia. (Based on the holiday movie ‘Rover And Out’ – but in name only.)
  346. Dawn In The Dumps (multi-year series, drama): Dawn Kerritsky hates her life, she’s twice divorced and in a deep mid-life depression – and it only gets worse when she inherits the family garbage dump and put in charge.
  347. Word A Day – The Series (reality series, shorts): Everyday we learn a new word through a little skit that has been put together by the “Word A Day” team.
  348. Wayward Monkeys (documentary series, nature): In the heart of the Amazon there is a group of monkeys that are crazier than all other monkeys. In English, the are called the “Wayward Monkeys” and they’ll either hug you are eat your face. The Manka Docs crew experienced a little of both during this grueling, life-losing, shoot.
  349. Shao Linda (multi-year series, drama): Imported from China, this series tells the story of Linda Rothschild, an American prep school blue blood from Greenwich, CT, who leads a peasant revolt before the Communist Revolution in China. They called her… Shao Linda.
  350. Pop, Goes The Weasel (movie, mature audiences): CIA spy, code name “Weasel” is captured by a shadowy Saudi Arabian counter-intelligence “kill squad” and tortured, killed and dismembered for two hours. The two hour torture and dismemberment of “The Weasel” IS the movie. Mature audiences… seriously – this shit is disturbing.
  351. Santa Claus and the Yuletime Killer (movie, holiday): Based on Manka Books’ Santa Claus Detective Series by Lindsey Siegal, Santa teams up with a rookie detective (Sarah Jenkins) to solve a series of holiday murders.
  352. Dracula’s Daughters (multi-series, drama): No cliche Dracula stuff at all in this series. His three daughters are in school – eighth, tenth and twelfth grades. Just normal teenage angst growing up in northern Romania. Yes, they are raised by Dracula but have no knowledge of his blood sucking life after dark. 
  353. Candy Turns Us Into Fat KIds (documentary, educational): Manka Docs does a deep dive into the connection of sugar and obesity. The connection is real. Oh, and lack of physical movement is also a factor.
  354. Madeline Albright’s Nights In White Satin (documentary, music): Narrated by the former Secretary of State about her favorite band – The Moody Blues.
  355. Jesus V Mohammed (reality series, faith): It’s a battle to the finish. The true Messiah will be revealed at the end of the season.
  356. Bure The Lead (multi-year series, drama): Former NHL all-star Pavel Bure stars as a crime reporter in Nova Scotia trying to uncover police corruption. (We ain’t gonna lie – this show is terrible and Bure is not a good actor… at all.)
  357. Heartstrings (movie, drama): Story of a seeing eye dog for a lonely widower. The seeing eye dog is also losing its sight. Perhaps the saddest movie in the history of movies.
  358. Rolf (live theatre, musical): Manka Broadway presents this sequel to “Sound of Music” focusing on Nazi character Rolf and his rough life as a Hitler disciple after Germany loses World War 2. Presented by Kaiser Permanente.
  359. A Star Is Dead (documentary): Once great movie stars, cinematographers, teamster truck drivers and extras all die – and some, very few, actually qualify to die in Woodland Hills, in the motion picture home.
  360. All Systems Goat (animated series, kids): Bill E. Goat is the first goat to make it through the NASA astronaut training program – but still no one believes in him. He is bullied, left out of astronaut BBQs and not given prestigious assignments. Until one day, Bill E. Goat is given the mission to Venus – which ever other astronaut turns down because it’s too dangerous. Bill E. Goat survives and is loved by all.
  361. Bridge Crossers (reality, philosophy): “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” has been a phrase that has comforted procrastinators for hundreds of years. This show is for those who have reached the metaphorical “bridge” and, sorry, you either cross the bridge or die. It’s time – suck it up or suck it down.
  362. She Breeds (reality series): Janet [MB Lawyer: Last name redacted], mother of seven children, dreams of breaking the Duggar’s record of having 19 children. Manka Docs follows her on her journey.
  363. Spectacle (documentary, music): Manka Docs explores the creative process of creating Elton John’s eye wear in the 1970s and 1980s.
  364. Green Screen Lacrosse (reality, sports): Between the green field, green uniforms, and the magic that can be accomplished with modern video technology, this league ain’t your grandad’s lacrosse!
  365. When I Was A Girl (movie, mature content): A woman on her death bed looks back on her life and loves in 1940s Minnesota where she attempts (and fails) at at solo swim across the Lake Of The Woods.
  366. Pot Watchers (movie, drama): Based on the Broadway play by Scott Golden, two Cambodian guardians sit outside the cell of Pol Pot as he awaits his execution and discuss their experiences in the killing fields. One thing they agree on, Pol Pot is an asshole.
  367. Space Kiddets (multi-year series, kids, action): In the year 2545, on a training mission for kid kiddets a hyper-drive fails and flings the kids into the furthest quadrants of the galaxy. Through interaction with aliens and learning to cooperate, they must find their way home.
  368. The Deepest KISS (documentary, music): After years of reticence, Gene Simmons tells the story of the rise of his band and the rumor of his fake tongue.
  369. Popcorn (movie, thriller): Popcorn’s real name is Bradley Foster. He was given the nickname “Popcorn” as a kid because always ate popcorn at the movies. Years later, Popcorn’s job is to protect the Pope – but he no longer believes in God – and he no longer eats popcorn. 
  370. The Chicago Fire… Again (movie, disaster): Sequel to the original Chicago fire in 1871. They said it couldn’t happen again – “they” are a bunch of fucking idiots.
  371. Middle School Show Choir Throw Down! (reality series, competition): Middle school show choirs from around the country come to Hollywood for one shot at greatness!
  372. Grandma’s Tails (limited series, kids): Each cat she had over the years has a story.
  373. Knights Of The Square Table (movie, heist): Period Las Vegas heist movie. As hip and cool as the Ocean’s 11 crew was, the Knights are just a pack of “losers and squares.”
  374. Get Drunk With Rita (reality series, food): Produced by the Manka Food & Drink Channel, this weekly series is exactly what it says in the title. Rita has one hour to get as drunk as she can. 
  375. Hey! This is Mahler! (limited series, music): Fun journey through Gustav Mahler’s nine symphonies (that “discovered” tenth one doesn’t fucking count) hosted Sven and Yan, two Scandinavian millennials with way too much energy.
  376. Doug The Moron (multi-year series, comedy): The King’s head is cut off. The Queen is poisoned. Doug The Moron is the new King.
  377. Ray & Rachel (reality series, food): Older, recently divorced guy decides to work his way through the Rachel Ray cookbook, doing a new recipe every day.
  378. Ulterior Motives (movie, drama): The rise and fall of Anthony Scaramucci.
  379. Bullied – The Stories Of Pathetic Nerds (reality series): Written by former high school quarterback and now billionaire Rock Thornton, these stories show the other side of the whole “stop-bullying” movement.
  380. Predicated (movie, drama): This lawyer’s case is contingent upon many things.
  381. Kafka’s Last Birthday Party (movie, drama): Remake of the 1952 Manka Bros. film. Story of Franz Kafka on his 10th birthday (July 3, 1893). It was a sad, morose affair with no children present other than young Franz. His parents looked in once or twice at an old clown entertaining the boy by crawling around like a cockroach. This goes on for two hours.
  382. Fucked Up, Friday (movie, comedy): R-rated (millennial) reboot of a story similar to Disney’s “Freaky Friday.” [MB Lawyer: There are no similarities – totally original story.]
  383. Poconos Justice (multi-year series, drama): There’s one homicide detective in the Poconos – and, on weekends, he’s a stand-up comic.
  384. Belligerence (short, comedy): A waitress finds her tips go through the roof when she starts treating people terribly.
  385. Fat, Drunk Lizzy (documentary, music): Behind-the-scenes documentary chronicling the reunion tour of 1970s super group “Thin Lizzy.”
  386. Crazy From The Meat (reality series, food): That’s a fine cut of meat. Let’s cook it… and eat it.
  387. The Last Redneck (movie, short, fantasy): In a crazy alternate universe, everyone in the south has finally accepted the results of the Civil War… except for Caleb.
  388. Shit Storm (movie, disaster): So gross. And we didn’t think it could get any worse in Galveston.
  389. The Clean & Jerk (movie, horror): Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde story set in the world of competitive bodybuilding. Amy has to choose between clean-cut Chad, awesome bodybuilder and really nice guy, and Chad, a total asshole who kills people with barbells and thinks she is a conniving bitch.
  390. The Night The Lights Went Out In Kentucky (movie, thriller): Really shitty sequel to “The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia” (which was pretty shitty in the first place). Sorry for this one. The music’s not bad.
  391. What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailor? (reality, game show): Drunken sailors compete “American Ninja Warrior”-style for cash and prizes – or just more alcohol.
  392. Lambasted (movie, horror): A movie critic finally gets what’s coming to him.
  393. Space Time Continuum (movie, sci-fi): One possible future dovetails with another possible future, and a past that may never have happened.
  394. The Rainbeau’s Mysteries (late night, kids): Late-night kids show (for kids who stay up way past their bedtime) in which international singing group The Rainbeau’s solve mysteries like “Who stole my teddy bear?” and other young sibling crimes like that.
  395. Blue In The Face (movie, young adult): A girl with a blue face moves to Cheyenne, Wyoming, and tries to fit in at a new middle school.
  396. Walla Walla (movie, thriller): One-by-one, someone is killing all the ADR loopers in Hollywood.
  397. Golden Receiver (movie, family): As a publicity stunt, a dog is taken in the first round by the NFL expansion team San Antonio Hounds… and ends up Rookie of the Year.
  398. Taracotta (reality series): Tara Reid goes to Xi’an, China, to unwrap the mysteries of the famous Terracotta Soldiers – but, basically, just ends up doing shots with local dudes instead.
  399. First Christmas Home (movie, holiday): Shot in the style the “24” drama series, one 24-hour-day in the life of Jenny, who is returning home for her first Christmas after going away to college the previous August.
  400. Raymond and Herbert Disney – The Two Other Disney Brothers That Didn’t Get Shit From The Disney Empire (documentary): Walt and Roy Disney had two other brothers, and they didn’t get jack fuck from the growing Disney empire.
  401. Pucker Up (movie, older audiences): Set in the 1950s, a bored housewife teaches kissing at the local adult education center.
  402. Red Sky In Morning (movie, disaster): The sailors on the ill-fated Varuna fishing boat out of Portland, Maine, left too early, before sunrise – so they didn’t see the sky … they’re fucked.
  403. Linguini & Clam Sauce (animated series, kids): Kids series about crime fighting food – always worried they’ll be eaten by Big Carmine before they solve the crime.
  404. The Lochness Monster’s Tales From The Deep (animated series, kids): Anthology series of under the sea tales, narrated by The Lochness Monster.

Continue reading “Manka Bros. To Produce Over 400 TV Series And Movies For Its OTT Service In 2021”

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019 – Day 3 – Deliverance

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019 – Day 1 – Life Support

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019 – Day 3 – Deliverance

——————————

I am back from Sun Valley and safely in my office at Manka Bros. in Burbank.

There wasn’t much news out of Sun Valley this year because a) the conference sucked and, b) many of us nearly lost our lives last Friday and Herbie “Super Fly” Allen wants both of those points to be kept quiet.

Well, I’m not keeping it quiet, Herbie – non-disclosure agreement be damned!

All I can say is last Friday in Sun Valley was the most bullshittingest fucking day of all the bullshittingest fucking days in all the bullshittingest fucking world!

Let me back up.

Herbert Allen, our host at Sun Valley, of Allen & Company (sidebar: does anyone really know what this company does?) decided that on Day 3 – we should have a Mogul Challenge..

So… at 5:00am Friday morning, the Dawn Of The Mogul (written by Michael Eisner – when he was an actual mogul – many years ago) was blasted from the loudspeakers at the Sun Valley Lodge.

“Rise, Rise, Rise with the Sun.
We are Moguls.
The World We Run… etc. etc.”

Like hungover Norse Gods crawling to Ragnarok unable to resist the call, we Sun Valley moguls rolled out of our beds and stumbled zombie-like to the Great Pitch Of The Moguls (for mortals, it’s the green lawn area outside the Sun Valley Pavilion).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover, Lauren Sanchez, Delivrance, Burt Reynods

Herb Allen, spry, in a referee uniform and too-tight bicycle shorts, pulled out a bear horn and gave it a long, annoying BLAST to get our attention. (Herb is a professional drinker who handles every morning like a Mormon who didn’t get hammered the night before… but we all know the truth.)

As the sun rose, I’m fairly certain there has never been a larger congregation of hungover and pissed off billionaires. (It seems like there should be a joke here… but, seriously, there hasn’t – though put your obvious jokes in the comments.)

Herb Allen paced back and forth like a Drill Sergeant even though we weren’t standing in formation or even paying attention.

Herb Allen: How are you supposed to change the world if you can’t even change the shape of your stomachs!

He pointed directly at my stomach – which was an insult as I was standing right next to Reid Hoffman – and, I mean, come on….seriously?

Herb: Today, we’re going to do things a little different. We have a challenge – an anonymous challenge from three moguls who will not be named. A challenge to determine who is the strongest, toughest mogul at Sun Valley.

With that, the opening riff of “Rock You Like A Hurricane” blasted from somewhere just off the pitch.

Almost in unison, the assembled moguls turned to see–

–Jeff Bezos and Tim Armstrong approach, arms jacked, wearing sleeveless black vests (think Burt Reynolds from ‘Deliverance’), dark glasses and “fuck you” expressions.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover, Lauren Sanchez, Delivrance, Burt Reynods

Walking with them was a Young Lackey holding an Echo device which was blasting the AC/DC song.

A few steps back, wearing the same tough guy gear, was Barry Diller – not quite rocking the look as much – arms not jacked – more like jello arms, sort of jowly, slathered in thick white sunscreen.

The assembled moguls looked at this group with smirks, envy and disdain.

Then, perfectly on cue, an Air Force flyover of five jets screamed a couple hundred feet over the assembled, slamming a perfect punctuation on the entrance!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover

After the smoke had cleared, Bezos summoned his inner Clint Eastwood and said: “Alexa… stop.”

The music stopped on the word “Rock!”

The Young Lackey backed away sheepishly, trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

Herb Allen: You ordered an Air Force flyover… for yourself?

Jeff Bezos: Who gives a fuck… let’s just do this!

Herb Allen: Hold on, Bezos. No one knows what we’re doing yet.

Bezos cocks a fist and jerks forward to kill Herb Allen. Armstrong holds him back.

Tim Armstrong: Stop! He’s not worth it.

Jeff Bezos: Get on with it, prick!.

Herb Allen stares down Bezos and Armstrong and continues to pace.

Herb Allen: Today, we embark on a battle to end all battles. A journey to end all journeys. Ragnarok. Götterdämmerung. One of the–

Bob Iger: The fuck, dude, get to it.

Herb Allen: It’s a whitewater raft race down the Salmon River, one of the most dangerous in the world. A river that has claimed scores of lives over the years. Your survival is not guaranteed. That’s why you signed all those releases!

Herb Allen laughed – no one else did.

Bezos and Armstrong slam their hands together in a violent high five – clearly the steroids were working.

Behind them, Barry Diller wasn’t paying attention. He was being interviewed on CNBC by Julia Boorstin.

Herb Allen: The winner… will receive a prize. Those who don’t win – or the losers – will not be guaranteed an invite back to my conference… unless your name is Warren Buffett.

Herb Allen then approached Jeff Katzenberg, who wore an ill-fitting bathing suit from what looked like a Coney Island postcard from 1905 with a large medallion hanging from his neck.

Herb Allen: Jeff, are you sure you want to wear your Medal of Freedom while rafting?

Jeff Katzenberg: I never take off my Medal of Freedom… Herb. I’m sure you wouldn’t either… if you had one.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover

They lock eyes for a moment. Herb Allen moves on.

Herb Allen: There will be five rafts – six on each raft. The Captains are Jeff Bezos, Bob Iger, Rupert Murdoch, Sheryl Sandberg and GoPro guy – whatever your name is.

There was a general commotion among the moguls as everyone was slowly starting to figure out what the fuck was going on.

Herb Allen: The Captains will choose their teams based on childhood Brooklyn stick ball rules. One chosen at a time, from the pack, until everyone is chosen.

Let’s cut to the chase.

I was in Bezos’ boat with Tim Armstrong, Marissa Mayer, Barry Diller, Evan Spiegel (Snapchat dude) and, yes, I was chosen last for my raft.

To my credit, I wasn’t the last mogul chosen – that honor went to… Jeff Katzenberg in the Sheryl Sandberg raft.

I’m going to skip over the treacherous helicopter ride to the mouth of the Salmon River where our competition would begin.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover, Lauren Sanchez, Delivrance, Burt Reynods, Salmon River

I’ll also skip over the various high dollar wagers and physical threats that happened before the race and all the X-rated smack that was thrown out between the moguls.

I’m sure one day that will all come out in Meg Whitman’s autobiography – because she’s mainly the one who gave and took the brunt of the abuse.

Moving forward to the actual “race.”

Bezos and Armstrong were so amped up they had the raft in the river long before anyone else – and their violent energy made it vibrate like a Sharper Image chair.

Jeff Bezos: Let’s go, fuckers! What the fuck!

The rest of us on the Bezos team stumbled awkwardly into the raft, finding a seat in the back while Bezos and Armstrong barked orders at us.

Jeff Bezos: If you’re not going to contribute, you’re going overboard. If you don’t contribute in a way that is satisfactory to me, you’re going overboard. There’s very little chance you won’t be going overboard..

Armstrong: LET’S DO THIS!

Armstrong then drained a water bottle filled with a thick red liquid that looked like it could be some form of blood – hopefully not human blood… hopefully not blood at all. He licked the red that dribbled off his chin and his eyes rolled backwards in ecstasy.

The other raft Captains were not as intense.

Really, only GoPro guy (thanks to my assistant Vicky Adler-Modry – she used the internet to find out his name is Nick Woodman – so we’ll call him that for the rest of this story) was the only other Captain that seemed to know what a raft was.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover, Lauren Sanchez, Delivrance, Burt Reynods, Nick Woodman

Woodman had the proper gear – a GoPro on his head – of course – but he didn’t have the bloodlust in his eyes that Jeff Bezos and Tim Armstrong had. He was very mellow. Probably stoned.

I really felt this was our competition to lose – not that I care, I’m just regretting that I actually showed up this year.

Bob Iger and Rupert Murdoch were in a heated argument and not paying attention to the whitewater challenge. This was surprising since I thought everything was solid with them since Disney bought Fox.

Sheryl Sandberg was desperately trying to get her group to focus – which was a problem when you have Katzenberg just talking about his Medal of Freedom and Quibi all the time.

Herb Allen stepped to the edge of the raging Salmon River and attempted to get everyone in line.

Herb Allen: The Salmon River is no joke – and you will have no help. If you die… you die. If you’re in trouble, no one will help you. After I blow my whistle, I will return to the Sun Valley Lodge to drink dirty martinis from the great Vin Tran until I pass out. Capisce?

We all gave a half-hearted nod.

Herb Allen: The winner will be given the first place prize award by my summer intern, Talia. Good luck. Is everyone ready?

The five rafts holding thirty billionaires were ready to go. The hired Lackeys were straining to hold the enormous weight on the banks until the “go” command was given.

Jeff Bezos: Start this fucker – you mother fucking fucker!

Herb Allen: OK, and… go!

The Lackeys let go of the ropes and the rafts slowly break free, heading aimlessly down the Salmon River.

Herb Allen watched for a moment, then boarded the only remaining helicopter and flew back to the hotel.

We started off in fairly calm water – a very nice, smooth ride.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover, Lauren Sanchez, Delivrance, Burt Reynods

I had a paddle in my hand and didn’t think I had to do – or should do – anything until I heard–

Jeff Bezos: Khan, could you fucking paddle, you mother fucking Bulgarian asshole?!

I started to paddle, not because he bullied me – but because… I felt he would kill me if I didn’t paddle.

Evan Spiegel, in the back corner, pulled out a ukulele and started playing a song that sounded like “Rainbow Connection” but he didn’t sing.

Marissa Mayer leaned over to me and started talking, but because she hasn’t fixed the nodules in her throat and can barely speak above a whisper, I found it very hard to understand her.

Khan Manka, Jr.: Marissa, I have no idea what you are saying.

Marissa Mayer: (clearing her throat – really scratchy) I said, this seems so like “Deliverance” the movie. Don’t you think?

Khan Manka, Jr.: Manka Bros. made a movie very similar to “Deliverance” and ours came out a year before!. It was called “Plug That Hole” about four men going down a river for the final time. Their boat started to sink and wouldn’t have sunk if they would have “plugged that hole.”

Marissa Mayer: (completely disinterested) Oh, yeah?

Khan Manka, Jr.: Yeah, and ours had hillbillies and butt rape and everything that “Deliverance” had – but no accolades. Where was our parade?

Jeff Bezos looked back at me – noticing that none of us were using the paddles to propel us down the river.

Jeff Bezos: Can you fucking concentrate, Khan? We are trying to win the ultimate prize and you… are dead weight. If any of you fuck up, I will not hesitate to throw you overboard to certain death.

Bezos turns back to concentrate on steering the raft down river.

Evan Spiegel plays a little louder and starts to sing.

Evan Spiegel: “Why are there so many, songs about rainbows…?

The singing put Bezos over the edge. He handed the steering over to Armstrong and moved toward us at the back of the raft. He picked up Evan Spiegel by his high-end REI raft vest and threw him overboard.

Jeff Bezos: There aren’t that many fucking songs about rainbows – you fucking idiot! “Over The Rainbow” and “Rainbow Connection”! That’s it!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover, Lauren Sanchez, Delivrance, Burt Reynods, Rainbow Connection, Paul Williams, Kermit the Frog

Marissa Mayer was horrified to see Evan Spiegel gasping for breath to keep his head above water – but didn’t do anything to help him.

None of us did.

Evan Spiegal and his ukulele struggled in the rapids but finally fought his way safely to the shore.

Barry Diller: Are you just going to leave him there?

Jeff Bezos: Fuck him.

Barry Diller: (shrugging) Who wants an Old Milwaukee?

Diller has cracked open his beer cooler and starts passing around beers Finally, a civilized person has emerged.We started draining Old Milwaukees as fast as we could – to get drunk as fast as we could. Marissa Mayer is my new hero and CEO crush. She probably pounded six beers in six minutes.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover, Lauren Sanchez, Delivrance, Burt Reynod, Old Milwaukee

As far as the whitewater challenge went, it really wasn’t much of a competition – and the rapids weren’t too bad yet.

We were the lead raft by about twenty yards in front of Nick Woodman’s boat. The rest were much further behind.

And then, a high-pitched SCREAM echoed throughout the canyon.

We all looked back to see–

–Bob Iger, two rafts behind us, holding his leg in agony – an arrow protruding from his thigh – blood gushing everywhere.

In the boat behind Iger, Rupert Murdoch had just fired an arrow from his hunter’s bow. He was attempting to reload when he was tackled by Meg Whitman and easily disarmed.

Meg Whitman: What the fuck, Rupert?! Are you trying to kill him?

Rupert Murdoch: Yes! Mother fucker stole my company!

Bob Iger: (in total agony) We paid you $61 billion!

He then fell back into the raft and was attended to by his team.

Reid Hoffman: We have to sterilize the wound and pull the arrow out.

Shari Redstone grabbed a bottle of vodka from her purse: “This will work.”

She poured the vodka over the wound.

Reid Hoffman: Bob, you might want to bite down on something.

Bob Iger: (through gritted teeth) Just pull it out.

Hoffman braced himself against the side of the raft for leverage and pulled out the arrow with a mighty tug. Iger’s face barely changed expression.

Shari Redstone: That was bad ass, Bob. You’re a tough son of a bitch.

For the next few minutes, there was chaos on the river.

After the drama died down a bit, the whitewater challenge was down to two rafts – Bezos and Sandberg.

Iger and Murdoch’s rafts were now, basically, a crime scene – so they, effectively, stopped competing.

And Woodman’s raft appeared to stop moving. From my vantage, it looked like a floating yoga studio with Reed Hastings and Tim Cook in the lotus position.

In the same raft, Randall Stephenson of AT&T and John Legere and T-Mobile were staring at each other’s phones – apparently, comparing the number of reception bars – or some such shit.

We maintained a fairly healthy lead – though we would soon be reaching the most dangerous part of the river – with terrifying whitewater rapids and waterfalls.

Sheryl Sandberg was shouting out commands to her crew – trying to close the gap.

Sheryl Sandberg: Thiel! Get your Trump-loving in ass in gear. A little more effort and little less Instagram!

Peter Thiel rolled his eyes, flipped her off and paddled a little until she turned around.

Katzenberg sidled up next to Sandberg and whispered something to her. He then pointed at my raft and made a motion of a boat sinking.

Khan Manka, Jr.: (shouting) What are you planning, Katzenberg?

Jeff Katzenberg: None of your bees-wax, Manka. All I know is you’re going to down.

Jeff Bezos: Shut up, Katzenberg!

Jeff Katzenberg: No problem.

He then gave a little Cheshire Cat grin and patted his Medal of Honor.

Jeff Bezos: (shouting) Waterfall coming up on the right! Push to the left or we are fucked!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover, Lauren Sanchez, Delivrance, Burt Reynods

We all leaned to the left as though that would do something for the raft. None of us knew how to do any of it – and, frankly, don’t ever want to know.

Bezos and Armstrong wedged their paddles against large rocks and pushed our raft to the left. On the right side about twenty yards away was what appeared to be a straight drop-off down a waterfall.

Marissa Mayer: That’s got to be a hundred foot drop.

Tim Armstrong: (snarky) That’s why we don’t want to go down it, Marissa.

Sandberg’s raft closed the gap on our raft and was now only a few feet away. Katzenberg leaned over the side trying to grab our boat but was still barely out of reach.

Diller smacked Katzenberg’s hand with his paddle.

Barry Diller: What are you doing, Katzenberg? You’re gonna fall out for Christ’s sake.

Jeff Katzenberg: THIS is what I’m doing! Quibi says ‘hello’!

With a SCREECH, Katzenberg grabbed his Medal of Honor and forcefully brought down the sharp edge of it into our raft –  puncturing a hole in the side.

Jeff Bezos: The fuck, Jeff!

Armstrong moves to punch Katzenberg in the face. Katzenberg SCREAMS like a hyena and tries to get back in his raft.

Armstrong lunged after him and was able to grab the Medal of Freedom dangling from Katzenberg’s neck – pulling him backwards.

Jeff Katzenberg: Let go of my Medal of Freedom, you Frankenstein freak!

Tim Armstrong: Fine.

With that, Armstrong flipped it up in the air, end-over-end. It flew off Katzenberg’s neck, arcing over the raft and disappeared down the waterfall.

Jeff Katzenberg: My Medal of Freedom!

Not thinking, Katzenberg leaped out of the raft and flew down down down the waterfall.

A beat. Everyone sort of looked at everyone else.

Peter Thiel: That was unexpected.What are we gonna do?

Sheryl Sandberg: Leave him. We’ve got a race to win. He was a pain in my ass.

The Sandberg raft easily maneuvered around our raft as Bezos was frantically trying to plug the hole. But it was no use, the damage was done. We were sinking.

As the Sandberg raft continued up the river–

Sheryl Sandberg: So long, fuckers.

With that, she left us there to die.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover, Lauren Sanchez, Delivrance, Burt Reynods

Khan Manka, Jr.: Should we try to swim to the shore?

Jeff Bezos: You can try. But you might get swept over the falls.

Evan Spiegel had walked along the shore, shadowing our raft. He was laughing while flipping us off and doing some strange bouncy dance.

As the raft started to take on water, we were quickly becoming submerged – everyone except Bezos, who seemed to be floating zen-like above the water – as though he were some kind of deity.

Jeff Bezos: (at peace) Well… it doesn’t appear to be our day.

With that, he pushed a RED BUTTON on his fitness band.

We sat, sinking, quiet for moment.

Jeff Bezos: So, Khan, any plans for the rest of the weekend?

Khan Manka, Jr.: I’ll be at the house in Malibu then back to the studio at–

Suddenly, zipping through the canyon, banking across the river was a Black Hawk Helicopter – the powerful whirring sound drowning out everything.

Bezos smiled and waved a hand toward it as stopped and hovered a hundred feet over our sinking raft.

I could see it was Lauren Sanchez, Bezos’ new $38 billion girlfriend, piloting the helicopter.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover, Lauren Sanchez

Marissa Mayer was the first to be raised up in the rescue basket. Then Barry Diller. Then me. Then Tim Armstrong.

What followed was something that I will never forget and what most likely should have been from a dream – but we all saw it.

The rescue basket remained in the helicopter and then Bezos just ascended on his own on what can only be described as a blanket of light. He glided effortlessly into the helicopter and gave a loving wink to Lauren Sanchez.

Jeff Bezos: Love you, babe.

Lauren Sanchez: Let’s blow this popsicle stand.

She then banked hard to the left and flew directly toward the sinking sun.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Jeff Bezos, flyover, Lauren Sanchez, Delivrance, Burt Reynods

I heard Sheryl Sandberg’s raft took another bad turn and wound up in a cave where they have yet to be found. Jeff Katzenberg is also missing – but I’ve also heard no one has started looking for him.

The winner of the contest? Nick Woodman’s raft – just because they finished.

They received a $25 gift card from Starbucks.

Khan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

 

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2018

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2017

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2016

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2015

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2013

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2012

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2011

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2010

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2009

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2008

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019 – Day 1 – Life Support

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019 – Day 1 – Life Support

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019 – Day 3 – Deliverance

——————————

I’ve been coming to Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference since 2008.

(There are some links below of previous years.)

This year, I almost didn’t come because… why?

Before the conference, there’s always the promise of big deals and secret meetings – but it’s really just… bullshit.

It’s been that way for years. I’m sorry to say, because I like Herb, but his conference is on Life Support.

It’s really a throw-back to the old days when we all believed that media moguls were important. Because everyone who ever held a door for us, or flew our planes for us or drove our cars for us told us we were important. It’s the only reality we know.

Silicon Valley came along and told us we weren’t important. And now, we’re starting to believe it.

But it’s been quite a ride.

Over the years, I’ve Dropped Acid with Barry Diller participated in something horrible called the Mogulympics (which was totally rigged by Herb Allen in Sheryl Sandberg’s favor). We even did something charitable once called Build-A-Bike (which benefited millionaires less fortunate than us billionaires).

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt

And, who could forget, Burning Mogul – the strangest night of my life. That was back when New Media was new and the tech heroes of today were in high school.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt, Burning Mogul

Hell, there was even a production of Rocky Horror put on a couple of years ago.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Tim Curry, Susan sarandon

But, this isn’t a time for reflection, it’s a time to push forward.

But, for many of us, we’re just too tired to do that.

By “us,” I mean “them” – BECAUSE I’M FUCKING STOKED!

PSYCH!

LET’S DO THIS, MOGULS!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt

I was wheels down yesterday about 5:00pm and breezed past the Press – who were caged like veal and set back the required twenty-five yards from the entrance – and greeted my good friend (and valiant adversary) Jeff Katzenberg.

The reporters shouted questions, mostly at Jeff – in the vein of: “Hey, Jeff, what the fuck is Quibe?!”

Poor guy. Nobody knows what the fuck Quibe is – but, with $2 billion, you can get some nice offices.

By the way, we’re SPENDING MORE (over 400 new series and TV shows this year alone!) for our new service MankaGoNow… but I digress.

For many years, I was one of the first ones at the Duchin Lounge (affectionately known as The Drankin’ Hole) but tonight, there were moguls and tech stars mosh-pit deep.

It was like the Chicago Mercantile trading pit trying to get a drink last night.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt

I decided to stay away from that chaos and retreated to a corner table across the bar. Shari Redstone and Tim Cook were having a relatively quiet conversation (considering all the background noise). They were sharing a bottle of Slivovitz and talking in hushed tones.

I asked if I could join. They greeted me warmly and said I could pull up a chair – but told me I had to get my own booze, there wasn’t any they could spare. They went back to their secretive conversation.

I was quickly saved by the greatest bartender in the world Vin Tran – dirty martini in hand! He didn’t look so good, his face wasn’t the same and he walked with extreme difficulty.

Vin Tran: Mr. Manka! So good to see you again. I saw you walk in and immediately made your drink. Those young drunks screaming over there drive me crazy.

KM: A lot more drinking these days.

Vin Tran: The past two years have made many more alcoholics.

KM: (taking a big gulp) True. What happened, Vin? Last year, didn’t you have surgery to convert to a woman. Weren’t you Jen Tran last year?

Vin Tran: Mr. Manka, turned out to be a mistake. I had the surgery reversed.

KM: They can do that?

Vin Tran: (wincing) Not very well. I must get back – good to see you, sir. I will keep them coming.

I took another drink and tried to engage Tim Cook and Shari Redstone. They downed another shot of Slivovitz – it seemed like steam was coming out of their ears and noses.

“You guys buyers or sellers. I’m trying to have positive attitude but it looks like another dud this year?,” I said.

Shari looked up, slightly annoyed. “I think we will accomplish a great deal this week.”

“OK, ” I said. “Hopefully. Tim, are you shopping for Hollywood studios? You’re gonna need a library for your SVOD service, right?”

“Why, is Manka Brothers for sale?”

Me? No, Tim. You don’t buy me out. I buy you out.”

Tim laughed. “OK.”

With that, an OLD MAGICIAN with shaking hands doing close-up magic came over to our table. “Anyone here want to pick a card?”

Tim Cook and Shari Redstone got up and moved to another table. Could Apple be buying Viacom? Could I be starting rumors? Am I a trouble maker?

I picked a card and finished my drink. Herb Allen, himself, sat at my table to watch the trick saying, “This guy is so good. He’ll pick your card. Never fails.”

I nodded at Herb as though dealing with a crazy person. This conference is on life support.

Maybe Gayle King interviewing Mike Pompeo will bring it back to life. (I just died a little bit dictating that sentence.)

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Other 2019 Posts – Day 3 – Deliverance

 

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2019

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2018

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2017

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2016

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2015

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2013

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2012

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2011

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2010

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2009

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2008

Manka Bros. To Replace CFO David Chang With A.I.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

Good morning from the Seychelles

I’m in the last few days of my May-July vacation, slamming hard drinks for people who want to get drunk fast.

This is a revolutionary and amazing day at Manka Bros. and, I would imagine, a pretty crappy day for the growing Chang family. By the way, congrats, Dave, on the twins you have on the way!

Next week, I return to the States to attend Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Retreat… againAnd, because the old days are gone, I will have to deal with a millennial crowd who prefers mango seltzers and planking over pounding shots and dog racing.

But we’ll get to that next week.

Today, I am announcing INDUSTRY-SHATTERING NEWS that will have Hollywood shaking and Silicon Valley screaming with envy.

(Get ready techno nerd bloggers, I know you love this bullshit techno stuff!)

David Chang, Manka Bros.’ CFO for the past few years, has been replaced effective immediately by an A.I. unit that will be called BARB GONZALEZ.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

I chose the name ‘Barb’ because I was insistent on a FEMALE-VOICED A.I. unit (and Barb sounds like a friendly Canadian librarian on the surface – but don’t get me wrong, she’ll cut you a new one if you cross her) and I also wanted an Hispanic last name because #DIVERSITY.

#SuckThatBobIger

However, as great and historic as this announcement is – this was not an easy decision.

After weeks of exhaustive research at the Manka Innovation Center Encino (or M.I.C.E. – in fairness, the building is in Van Nuys but Encino made a better acronym), it has been proven within a thirty percent range, A.I. can improve the performance of a human CFO by sixteen percent after the first five years of installation (plus, no health benefits or retirement plans necessary!) #FUCKING-A

At Manka Bros. this percentage goes up WAY more when you plug in “David Chang” and his unfortunate performance over the past few years. (Apologies, again, to David Chang and his family at this difficult time in his life and career.)

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

So, how did we get here?

After an offsite a couple of months ago at the Montage Resort & Spa in Laguna Beach, CA, where I was working with Senior Management on ways to cut costs, I was shown several Keynote presentations which all came to the same conclusion… (except for Jay McBee’s awful TV presentation. I don’t know what the fuck that guy was talking about!)… IT’S EITHER KILL OR BE KILLED.

I’ve decided to kill.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

There were brainstorms – breakout groups – morning meditations… we met and met and met… and met some more – looking, searching for the knockout blow that would drop the other studios to their knees.

Until, finally, the idea of replacing quality workers with higher-quality A.I. was floated in a recent meeting by some person – I don’t even know the name (though someone who will eventually be replaced with A.I. – HA!). That’s when I quickly realized this is a no-brainer for the studio. And a no-brainer for me.

That said, I realize the human cost this sort of massive technology disruption can cause – especially for David Chang who probably won’t find another job after this humiliation.

But the future is… the future. The past… blows.

If anyone is concerned about the security of Manka Bros.’ highly-confidential financial records, don’t worry – we have contracted with Google to ensure all of Barb Gonzalez’s most sensitive work is completely safe and hack free!

If you have any questions about this decision or want to comment or just need emotional support, please contact Barb Gonzalez or follow her on Twitter.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros.StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. – Barb is the FIRST female-voiced A.I. CFO in the entertainment industry and we hope Hollywood and Silicon Valley will take our lead in achieving equality in male / female A.I. voices. (And, Hollywood, fyi… it’s so much cheaper to use a female A.I. voice!)

It Was Another Year

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

Greetings from the Seychelles!

Christmas on the Indian Ocean is pretty much a non-event.

Let’s just say there’s not a lot of chestnuts roasting on Anse Lazio Beach.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

But, being a non-practicing Jew (I practiced enough when I was a kid), and never practicing non-Christian, I don’t really care.

But just to cover the bases, in the house, I’ve got a giant Christmas tree imported from California, a giant Menorah (that can burn a hell of a lot longer than eight nights), and some sort of weird island Native Bush that I threw some lights on.

Pretty festive, and pretty goddamned diversive, wouldn’t you say Hollywood?

My daughter, Connie, is with her mother (who shall not be named) until after Christmas, then she comes here for New Year’s. Then I’ll reluctantly drag myself back to the office at some point in January.

My girlfriend (who said I cannot name her because she didn’t like the way I casually mentioned previous girlfriends Mariska Hargitay, Leann Womack and Michelle Caruso-Cabrera when it wasn’t public information) will be joining me as soon as the jet gets clearance for take-off at Teterboro.

So, for now, I’m in the Seychelles, by myself – having a few drinks (the booze really works here) in my massage chair, watching the dying embers in the fireplace start to… die.

This feels like the perfect time to reflect on the year we had at Manka Bros. (or hadn’t as many suck-ass analysts on Wall Street might say).

From my forty years in show business – what I know to be true is this:

Movies succeed and movies flop.

TV shows get great ratings and TV shows flop.

That’s the business we’ve chosen.

The important thing, at this special time of year, is knowing that those who made the flops are no longer with the company.

Let’s start with the POSITIVES:

  • We’re still in business.

Moving on to the NEGATIVES:

I have a list of bullet points which, on reading, don’t seem too “joyful” in a “Holiday Spirit” kind of way. But it’s really more a list of “things we must improve on” – which, in a way, is a VERY positive message.

And helpful, to anyone who wants to keep their job – in this soon to be shitty economy.

  • Good news (though I’m putting in the negative column) is that we are still the World’s Largest Media Company. But our lead is shrinking! AT&T/WarnerMedia and Disney are nipping at our heels – which is why we recently announced that we are PRODUCING 400 MOVIES AND TV SHOWS for our new MankaGoNow streaming service in 2019 to compete with their shitty new services. It’s a HUGE risk – but has to be done for us to survive. Don’t fuck it up!

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

  • Manka Bros. Theatrical: Our MC Comics movies did not perform at all – and missed our box office budget projections by over 80%. That said, we’re continuing on with our strategy this year and staying the course. Our plan is to PRODUCE 157 COMIC BOOK MOVIES through the year 2050 – and, by God, we’re going to stick to it.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

  • Manka Bros. Television: OK, even Norman Lear had a bomb. Although, I think it was “a” bomb over his entire career. We had thirty-six (36) bombs in 2018 alone. That won’t happen in 2019. Let me repeat that – THAT WON’T HAPPEN IN 2019.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

  • Manka Music Group: Fine, I get it, music is hard. You don’t have to tell me, I come from music. Before I took over Manka Bros. after my dad died, King Khan was one of the great young bands. It’s in my blood – and may be in my future if you guys keep producing crap.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

  • Manka Bros. Publishing: I’m still bullish on mankazines and books (and, yes, David Chang, I realize the margins on the business are -18%). I blame the writers and editors more than I blame the format.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

  • Manka Kids & Consumer Products: I look around my neighborhood (not here – I can’t even see my neighbors here – but back in Bel Air) and, all day long, it’s nothing but packages being delivered. Tons and tons of packages. Why can”t one of them be something we make? Is that too much to ask? (Though I am encouraged by the traction, finally, we’re seeing with Red Dot. Red Dot is the real deal and must build and become a break-out kids character in 2019!)

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2013, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Hamilton, SVOD service comparison

I’m going to cut our Theme Park and Broadway divisions a break a) because it would be a waste of time and, b) I’m moments away from blacking out and want to get this uploaded tonight.

Chief Operating Officer (and pain in my ass) Lloyd Grohl thought I should end on a hopeful note to help improve morale.

So I leave you with this… hopefully, next year, if things improve (and they must), we will be able to give out annual bonuses again and we won’t have to cancel our Holiday party again.

Look, there is still CURIOSITY and WONDER in this world! And, yes, I’m talking about THIS world.

For instance, I move the Elf On The Shelf around my own house, even though I’m the only one that looks for it in the morning. (It’s actually a challenge considering I black out nearly every night.)

That’s the sort of child-like mentality we all need this time of year. Even as you sit in cubicles working on Christmas Eve.

STAY CURIOUS. STAY WONDER… OUS.

And get some sleep – because next year, there will be no sleep.

Happy Holidays.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

Manka Bros. Would Like To Offer Bob Greenblatt A Job

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman, Bob Greenblatt

Good afternoon from the Seychelles! I’ll be back in Burbank soon – so stop asking.

So – it appears Bob Greenblatt is leaving NBC because a) He needs another challenge; b) Life isn’t interesting anymore and he needs to climb a fucking mountain; c) I got enough money, ho; or d) He’d really like a chance to turn around Manka Bros.’ MBS network.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman, Bob Greenblatt

I know for a fact the answer is d) because running MBS is the ultimate job in television. The crown jewel in a town where most jewels are borrowed and bullshit.

MBS, as we all know (I don’t need to give everyone a fucking history lesson), was the first television network in history – which was born from the first radio network in history.

MBS is truly the reason all us all here today, making millions in Hollywood for putting out a (in general) sub-par product..

But, that said, even the greatest sucks ass on occasion (I mean, look at Jimmy Stewart and Mohammed Ali!).

MBS currently sucks ass – and needs new leadership.

You, Bob, are that leadership. If you’re looking for a new challenge in life – this is fucking it.

I mean there are challenges – like a cure for Alzheimers which, in my opinion, is doable – and there are CHALLENGES – like turning around the fucking lame ass MBS television network.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor Kaufman, Bob Greenblatt

Come on, Bob, you can do this!

We can do live musicals – “Rampage Of The Stegosaur” or “Gulag” come to mind.

We can move forward with one of my favorite pilots over the years “My Wife Left Me For Bucky Dent.” 

Regardless of all this great IP, what we really need at MBS is leadership.

I can’t do it all. I’ve got the world’s largest media company to run – just taking over a measly TV network would be a bullshit job for me.

But not for you. You’re good at that, Bob.

So, my offer is this… a job. A good job… for good money.

Good Hollywood money.

I’m not talking Ohio money – I’m talking Hollywood money!

Let’s talk.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. – If you’re leaving for difficult, personal reasons, I apologize and wish you nothing but the best.

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2018 – Day 1 – Golden Parachutes

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt

Good evening from Sun Valley!

I really didn’t think I would make it this year. I had a medical procedure earlier in the day (no details other than it burns like a mother fucker).

I know you’re not supposed to drink after popping a couple of Hillbilly Heroins to dull the pain, but I couldn’t resist. It’s the freakin’ DRANKIN’ HOLE and I needed a dirty martini fix.

The greatest bartender in the world, Vin Tran, is still here – but it took me a moment to recognize him. I mean… HER. It seems that Vin Tran is now Jen Tran and has undergone what they call “gender reversal surgery.”

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt

I grew up in Hollywood (which means nothing surprises me), so I congratulated her on her “awakening” and left it at that. As long as that fucker can make the best damn dirty martini in the world, I don’t care how many dicks you remove from your body.

The vibe at Sun Valley this year is, to put it mildly, very odd. Old moguls are pretty much done with their careers, and, let’s be honest, their lives.

I’ve made it very clear to Herbie Allen that Manka Bros. is not for sale. We don’t need to acquire anyone to survive. We’ll make it.

The one that has to be pissing blood is Les Moonves.

My great friend Jeff Bewkes is making his victory lap at his last rodeo in Sun Valley. He should be wearing one of those gold lamé suits that the dancers wear at the end of “A Chorus Line” – that $200 million looks good on you. You cashed out before the coming “great collapse.” Good for you. Godspeed, JB.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt

Even the tech guys are fucking old now. Zuckerberg, Brin, Sergey (whatever), that must all be fifty by now. “Look out you rock n’ roller. Pretty soon you’re gonna get older.” Bezos isn’t fooling anyone with those collagen injections.

Jen Tran set me up with another as Brian Roberts entered the bar. He looks exhausted. I would look the same way if I was preparing to overbid $30 billion dollars for fucking Fox. Rupert is another one that needs one of those gold lamé suits from “A Chorus Line.”

Just as I was starting to relax, Brian chatted me up.

Brian Roberts: Khan, how are you? How’s the syphilis?

Me: Ix-ne on the yphilis-se.

Brian Roberts: Sorry, I thought I read about in the trades.

Me: Nope. It’s not public like your penis enlarging.

Brian Roberts: OK.

Brian Roberts drained a fist of vodka and put his head in his hands.

Brian Roberts: What should I do, Khan? This deal is bullshit.

Me: Don’t do it. Let Disney have that nightmare. Buy Lionsgate, CBS and Viacom. Fucking consolidate everything else.

As though right on  cue, Bob Iger enters the bar.

Bob Iger: What’s up, bitches?!

Brian Roberts sticks out his foot and trips him.

Brian Roberts: Have a nice trip.

Bob Iger falls hard to the ground.

Brian Roberts: See you in the fall.

Two Disney crew members quickly picked Bob Iger up and placed him on a barstool.

Bob Iger: Real nice, Brian. Khan Manka! Putting on weight I see.

Me: Fuck you, Bob. At least I didn’t screw up “Star Wars.”

And then the evening truly took a turn for the worst as Jeff Bezos entered the bar, shirtless, shining with a fresh coat of coconut oil on his jacked up pecks.

Manka Bros., Khan Manka, Herb Allen's Sun Valley Conference 2016, Sun Valley Lodge, Bin Tran, Vin Tran, Lee S Ainslie III, Yousef Al Otaiba, Hans-Holger Albrecht, Paul G Allen, James Anderson, Marc Andreessen, Michael Angelakis, Tim Armstrong, Nikesh Arora, Neil M Ashe, Emilio Azcarraga, Manvinder S Banga, Lionel Barber, Craig R Barrett, Willow Bay, Andreas Bechtolsheim, Marc Benioff, Jeffrey Berg, James Berkus, Michael S Berman, Mark Bertolini, Gary Bettman, Jeff Bewkes, Jeffrey P Bezos, Aneel Bhusri, The Right Honorable Tony Blair, Gregory R Blatt, Anthony H Bloom, Michael R Bloomberg, Steven R Boal, Scott A Bommer, Cory A Booker, Jeffrey H Boyd, Sergey Brin, Glenn Britt, Tom Brokaw, Michael J Brown, Howard G Buffett, Susie Buffett, Warren Buffett, John Burbank, Stephen Burke, Erin Burnett, Ursula Burns, John E Bush, Jeanie Buss, John A Canning Jr., Chase Carey, Wences Casares, Mark Casey, Kenneth Chenault, Peter Chernin, Brian Chesky, Richard Chilton, Chris Christie, Lewis Cime, Adriana Cisneros, Gustavo Cisneros, Vittorio Colao, Timothy Collins, Patrick Collison, Timothy Cook, Anderson Cooper, David Corkins, Delos Cosgrove, Dick Costolo, Cristian Croitoru, Henry Crumpton, Jose Luis Cutrale, Will Danoff, Philippe Dauman, Christopher Davis, Alfonso de Angoitia, John DeGioia, Diego Della Valle, Brian Demain, Andre Desmarais, David DeVoe, Feroz Dewan, William DeWitt, Barry Diller, Daniel Doctoroff, Jonathan Dolgen, John Donahoe, Jack Dorsey, Michael Duke, Mathias Dopfner, David Ebersman, Wesley Edens, Marvin Edwards, Eric Eisner, Michael Eisner, John Elkann, Thomas Evans, Randel Falco, Jose Antonio Fernandez, Michael Ferror, Niall W. A. FitzGerald, Thomas Friedman, Michael Fries, Tommy Frist, Daniel Fulton, Michael Fux, Mala Gaonkar, Whitfield Gardner, William Gates, Melinda Gates, Julius Genachowski, Daniel Gilbert, Thomas Giovine, David Goldberg, Roger Goodell, Bing Gordon, Donald Graham, Brian Grazer, Brad Grey, John Griffin, Andreas Halvorsen, Reed Hastings, General Michael Hayden USAF, James Heavener, John Hendricks, John Henry, John Heyman, Kazuo Hirai, John Hock, Reid Hoffman, Won Pyo Hong, Lisa Hook, Ben Horowitz, Drew Houston, Robert Iger, David Ignatius, Martin Indyk, Phillip Jackson, Eli Jacobs, Paul Jacobs, Robert Johnson, Salar Kamanger, Peter Karmanos, Alexander Karp, Michael Karsch, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Michael Keating, Brian Kelly, Muhtar Kent, Joseph Robert Kerrey, Dara Khosrowshahi, Seth Klaman, Joel Klein, Peter Klein, Philip H Knight, Victor Koo, Robert Kotick, Robert Kraft, Henry Kravis, Ynon Kreiz, Blake Krikorian, Ananda Krishnan, Stan Kroenke, Daniel Lamarre, Michael Larson, Martin Lau, Michael Leavitt, Jay Lee, Eric Lefkofsky, Theordore Leonsis, Max Levchin, David Levin, Phil Libin, Martin Lipton, Bryan Lourd, Kenneth W Lowe, Michael Lowenstein, Dan Lufkin, Dennis P LYnch, Michael Lynton, Maurice Levy, John Malone, Robert Marcus, Morris Mark, Donald Mattrick, Kathleen A McCarragher, General Stanley A McChrystal, Andrew McKenna, General Montgomery C Meigs, Lorenzo Mendoza, Ron Meyer, Roberto Mignone, Hiroshi Mikitani, Bill Miller, Kenneth Miranda, Thomas Monahan, Leslie Moonves, Luis Alberto Moreno, Dan Moskovitz, Craig Mundle, James Murdoch, Rupert Mudoch, Lachlan Murdoch, Nathan Myhrvold, Michael Neidorff, Jonathan M Nelson, Vivi Nevo, Sam Nunn, Michael E O'Hanlon, Daniel J O'Keefe, Don O'Neal, Ronald L Olson, Evan Osnos, CL Butch Otter, Michael Ovitz, Larry Page, Stephen G Pagliuca, Saul Pannell, Mark Papa, William Pappendick, MIchael Pausic, Minxin Pei, Francois-Henry Pinault, Mark Pincus, Laurene Powell, Lawrence F Probst, Rebecca Quick, Thomas Rabe, Jay Rasulo, Jerry Reinsdorf, Danny Rimer, Richard Riordan, Ambassador Charles H Rivkin, Brian Roberts, James Robinson IIi, James Robinson IV, Fernando Rodes Vila, Brian Rogers, Congressman Mike Rogers, Charlie Rose, Daniel Rose, Wilbur L Ross, Haim Saban, Karim Sadjadpour, Sheryl Sandberg, Ricky Sandler, Ted Sarandos, Fayez Sarofim, Nassef Sawiris, Eric Schmidt, John Schneider, Christopher Schroeder, John Scully, Allan Selig, Nicole Seligman, Eric Semler, William Siegel, Herbert Siegel, Ben Silbermann, Christopher Silbermann, Louis Simpson, Eduardo Sirotsky Melzer, Andrew Sorkin, Sir Martin Sorrell, Thomas Staggs, Cristina Stenbeck, David Stern, Michael Stone, Sir Howard Stringer, Robert Swan, Peter Thiel, Mark Thompson, Sebastian Thrun, Thomas Tull, Peter Ueberroth, Joseph Vacanti, Jeffrey Van Harte, Owen Van Natta, Martin Varsavsky, Leftie Vaughn, Michelangelo Volpi, Alexandre Von Furstenberg, Dian von Furstenberg, Casey Wasserman, David Weinberg, Judd Weinberg, Jeff Weiner, Harvey Weinstein, Wallace R Weitz, Robert Werbel, Michael White, Meg Whitman, Jim Wiatt, James Williams, Fred Wilpon, Jeffrey Wilpon, Fred Wilson, David J Winters, Nicholas Woodman, Major General Amos Yadlin, Jerry Yang, Jed York, David Zaslav, Dirk E Ziff, Gianfranco Zoppas, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, Jeff Bezos, Tony Wible, Marissa Mayer, General Stanley McChrystal, John Kerry, Michael Bloomberg, Justin Trudeau, Iggy Azalea, 2017 Herb Allen Sun Valley Conference 2017, Usain Bolt

Jeff Bezos: Hey, old media, I’ve decided to consolidate all the companies of the world into one company. What company do you think that is?

He then flexed and did the peck up and down thing that body builders do.

Jen Tran served up Jeff Bezos the dirtiest martini I’ve ever seen. The kind of dirty martini you get when you have $150 billion.

Fuck, I have to get to the gym.

Adam Fogelson, Alan Spoon, Alexander von Furstenberg, Angela Bromstad, Ari Emanuel, Arthur Martinez, Barry Diller, Ben Silverman, Bob Iger, Brad Grey, Brian Roberts, Bryan Lourd, Chase Carey, Craig Smith, David Geffen, David Rosenblatt, Donald R. Keough, Donna Langley, Edgard Bronfman, Electus, Ezra Kucharz, fairy tale movies, Graham Stanton, Greg Blatt, Greg Morrow, Greg Stevens, Gregg Winiarski, Hans Woolley, Harry Sloan, Hey Diddle Diddle, Jason Stewart, Jay Herratti, Jeff Sagansky, Jeff Weiner, Jeff Zucker, Jeffrey Immelt, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Jill Kennedy, Joanne Hawkins, Joey Levin, John C. Malone, John Ferriter, John Foley, John Malone, Josh Abramson, Jr., Kara Swisher, Khan Manka, Louis Castle, Manka Bros., Mark Stein, Michael Eisner, Michael Schwerdtman, Michael Zeisser, Nikki Finke, Notional, On Medea, OnMedea, Paul Telegdy, Peter Chernin, Phillippe Dauman, Richard F. Zannino, Rick Finkelstein, Ricky Van Veen, Ron Meyer, Rupert Murdoch, Scott Garell, Scott Savitz, Shana Fisher, Sharon Waxman, Stacey Snider, Steve Burke, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone, Terry Semel, Thomas J. McInerney, Tina Brown, Tony DiSanto, Victor KaufmanKhan Manka, Jr. – Chairman & CEO – Manka Bros. StudiosThe World’s Largest Media Company

P.S. – Tomorrow is going to blow so hard. It’s all about Blockchain, Stealing Data and Lives From Consumers and the King of Jordan (whose horse I bought years ago).

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2017

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2016

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2015

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2014

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2013

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2012

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2011

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2010

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2009

Herb Allen’s Sun Valley Conference – 2008