Tag Archives: Michigan

Proud

  I’ll talk at you next week… Lester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids  

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A Man’s Ass Should Last His Entire Lifetime

I just want to say for the record on this world wide web I type on every week – FUCK MY COLOSTOMY BAG.  FUCK IT ALL TO HELL!! You see, sometimes old people like George Burns are allowed to smoke … Continue reading

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I Once Ate A Man In Korea

I once ate a man in Korea.  I’d prefer not to go into details.  The Pentagon told us never to discuss it.  I obey my orders from the Pentagon unlike all these pussy generals that parade onto CNN and talk … Continue reading

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The Long-Haired Homosexuals From Cuddly Creatures Came By Yesterday

The long-haired homosexuals from Cuddly Creatures™ came by yesterday with some animals that we could pet for the afternoon.  The bleeding ass liberals started this program to comfort the lonely and old with an hour or two of furry love. … Continue reading

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The Last Day I Was Happy

The last day I was happy was August 3rd, 1976.  Maybe down the line a piece I’ll tell you what happened on that day.  But not today.  I’m too sick and tired to talk about something happy. The Spartans have … Continue reading

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I Have A Goddamned Brown Spot The Size Of A Saucer On My Stomach

I have a goddamned brown spot the size of a saucer on my stomach.  I don’t know what the hell it is.  It doesn’t hurt.  It doesn’t affect my ability to empty my bodily waste into the colostomy bag.  But … Continue reading

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You Know You’re Getting Old When You Start Bleeding From The Ass

Don’t fret, idiots, that’s not the subject of my column today – as always, it’s THOSE DAMN KIDS! However, when I am bleeding from the ass (e.g., this morning), my hatred of those damn kids grows tenfold!  The picture of … Continue reading

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Things Aren’t As Funny As They Used To Be

  Here it is, another morning that I managed to wake up.  Jesus fucking Christ.  Oh, well… As I edge toward my 90s, things aren’t as funny as they used to be. It’s not as funny when Mrs. Aldrich falls … Continue reading

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It’s New Year’s Eve…

I’m going to drink from a bottle of Slivovitz until I become unconscious. I’ll talk at you next week. Lester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

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It’s Christmas Eve…

I’m going to drink from a bottle of Slivovitz until I become unconscious. I’ll talk at you next week. Lester Aldrich – Those Damn Kids

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